Former Sister in law

[cemeteryconsort]

My former Sister in law posted today that her cancer is back and it's terminal. I'm not close to her, and she is not my favorite person, but if this isnt drama, then I feel bad for her. I feel even worse for her becuase she is estranged from her two kids, my neice and nephew, but that is her own doing as well. I dont know how they are going to take

Comments

[bloodcult]

sigh- sounds like a bad situation, largely of her own making. You feel sorry about these sort of bad choices but they usually come with plenty of warning. On one hand you don't want to be harsh but on the other for children to disown parents usually takes repeated offenses. It's tough, and extra tough for the kids, who may feel they have to choose between compassion and their own mental health. I know that's how I would feel in their place.

[cemeteryconsort]

Yeah, I hope they can do what's best for them. I suggested to the son that he write some stuff down, even if he doesn't give it to his mother. The daughter.. she's very angry. I don't know what happened, but whatever it was, she's not getting over it soon. Maybe as the time draws near she'll change her mind. I don't know, mostly because I don't really know what the issues are. I do know her mother was a jerk and very childish and self centered. But even at that, one would think it would take more than that to totally sever all ties. :(

[bloodcult]

Sigh, I feel for them.
I have a pretty awful mother, who used me for years (I literally supported her for over a decade) she was demanding and childish and hurt me in a myriad of ways. 18 months ago I discovered while I was supporting her financially and was literally at her constant beck and call she was bad mouthing me to anyone who would listen.

At that point I cut off all ties and have been much happier for it. At this point I can't see myself ever forgiving her, because I know she has no interest in changing. If she was dying I can imagine the outside pressure to make nice but I can't think it would change my feelings.

I feel for your niece and nephew, I really do.

[northofboston]

Sorry to hear....hope the kids can put the issues aside. Even if it's awkward for them.

[cemeteryconsort]

I kind of do too. Even if at the end she is still a jerk or cant admit doing wrong, or whatever, I would hope they can be the better people and just say goodbye, even if they don't like her. I guess that's what I hope they can do, be compassionate, even to someone who doesn't deserve it.
Unless the reason is really serious. If she did or let something abusive happen, especially to the girl, then she can rot. I just don't know what the background is.