The Girl On The Train

[cenire]

So yesterday when I get on the train, this girl (woman?) follows me and sits down right next to me, in an otherwise empty car, on a three-seater. This strikes me as a little bit odd, but I keep doing my freelance surveys and attempt to look professional while curled up in a pretzel shape on the chair. She reads InStyle

Comments

[cenire]

Well, if you ever come to NY, I promise I'll take you on the train and we can do Smeagol imitations and scare all the other passengers. ;)

I think that's what I'm going to do, because I really want to find out why she goes to the city and why she sits down next to me in an otherwise empty car. I just can't figure out HOW to start a conversation.

[angelaeryn]

Pretend you don't speak English. Point to her magazine and jabber excitedly in some made-up language.

Or spend the whole train ride scratching yourself. Flick invisible things on her.

Or pick your nose. Then ask her for a Kleenex.

Or start singing and dancing. Force her to stand up and form a chorus line with you, then sing "Cabaret".

Or hit on her. Which is what I'd do. Shameless flirt that I am.

[angelaeryn]

More ideas:

Teach her a secret handshake. Welcome her to 'the gang'. Tell her that to leave is to die. Convince her one of your inkpens contains some kind of lethal serum.

Take a new, blank notebook with you. Spend the entire train ride ripping perfect little half-inch squares out of it. At the end of the ride, consider them all carefully. Choose one and eat it. Throw the rest into the air and squeal, "Look, Mommy, it's snowing!"

Invite her to sit in your lap.

Sniff her. Indiscreetly.

Bring a Kazoo.

[cenire]

AHAHA. I really like those.

The problem is if she really does commute from my stop to NYC every day, I'm going to be seeing her a *lot*. So I don't want to make a total idiot of myself. But oh man, what I would give to see her face if I started playing a Kazoo!

[oldlife_archive]

Those made me happy, so I randomly added you to my Yahoo buddy list, forgetting in the process that the damn thing sends confirmation emails and crap like that.

In any case, hope it wasn't too weird.

And my compliments on the suggestions. *grin*

[femme_dramatica]

Well if you want her to stop sitting by you the best method is the stare down. Usually the one on the receiving end of the stare gets so flustered that they look away soon, never to bother the starer again.

If you're curious though and don't want to frighten her, then just get on and see what happens. Of course, the reading of Time seems like something I would do, so try that too :)

[cenire]

Mmmm, the stare-down is usually incredibly effective. Unfortunately, I *hate* eye contact, so I'm almost always the one to break away first. I definitely need to improve at giving Meaningful Looks. (I'm getting better at glaring at people on airplanes who kick my chair or make a lot of noise, but if they look back at me I immediately look away.)

I think I'm going to have to remember to stick a copy of Time in my bag on Friday. Mwahaha!

[puffygerbil]

oh come on jess... we all know you have a terrifying glare!

[cenire]

oh yes, I do! I turn men to stone with my penetrating gaze.

[talmanes]

First, seriousness: In this situation, I'd just act normally. Chances are you may never see her again, and all of this was an odd coincidence. It's possible that you're not the only one she's "serial sat" with, and that it's just a habit of hers to "buddy up" with someone on the subway for safety's sake. People in groups are less likely to be harrassed than people alone, after all.

If you do see her again, just do what you'd ordinarily do. If she sits next to you, be polite and strike up a conversation. Tell her something like "You look familiar," and then say, "Hey, didn't you sit next to me last week? And the week before?" Who knows? She may end up being an interesting person, or she may be so weirded out that she moves, and that ends it all.

First sidenote: I use my headphones as earmuffs, too.

Second sidenote: Thanks for adding me back. You came highly recommended by perch-and-creep, and I pretty much trust her judgment on everything.

What would life be like if I just slept on the train?You'd probably lose a lot of small valuables, your

[cenire]

The thing is, though, it wasn't on the subway -- it was just a normal friendly Metro-North line. And since she gets on at the same stop as I every day, I can only assume she lives in the same town. So chances are I will see her again; she does have a pass for all of January, and we clearly both like the 8:17 express.

"Hey, didn't you sit next to me last week? And the week before?" Ahahaha. I don't think I want to scare her away quite yet because I'm curious to see how long it'll last. Of course now I probably won't see her tomorrow and my theories will be shot and it'll have just been an odd thing that happened to me twice on the train.

You'd probably lose a lot of small valuables, your sleep would likely be poor, transit cops would harrass you a lot, and you'd wake up in strange places. Also very true! My dad's the one who always sleeps, but he's managed to set his inner time clock to wake up when he hears the ticket officers coming, and when he reaches Grand Central. He has wound up in Connecticut before, though. I'm usually okay

[talmanes]

Hrm. The bus? You're going to bump into her again. I suggest using the headphones or cell phone idea. Those are favorites of mine.

[tocomfortyou]

Ooh, this sounds nifty! Keep doing whatever, but like, smile at her as she gets off so she realizes you're not about to shoot nails through her head.

[cenire]

I think that's probably what I'm going to do: smile a lot and try not to scare her away. (I mean, she *is* from my hometown, so she doesn't seem all that dangerous.) I'm tempted to try some wild and wacky things but I don't want her to call the men in white coats, because chances are I WILL see her again.