Nothing ruins a holiday like a family...
I haven't posted about my mom in a while... But that is not to say that I haven't thought about her or gotten upset about her. I just feel awkward posting about how I wish she were still here... but this is more the realistic side of her being gone.
My older sister called me this morning while I was getting ready for work to discuss a random thought that she had had last night. She wanted to know if, when I do get engaged, I want a new ring or more of a family heirloom. I said it didn't really matter to me, but as far as I knew, the only heirloom ring we have is the one my father gave my mother (which I think may be a little jinxed given the suckiness that was their marriage). Well, it turns out that Kim wants my Mom's ring if and when she gets engaged. And I'm fine with that... but it was what she said next that kind of threw me...
"Well, I only bring it up because we have to go through all of her stuff at Christmas."
You see, my dad plans to move in with Roberta after Jenny leaves for college. That means that everything that belonged to my mom needs to be sorted through, divided up and donated (for clothes and stuff). And I know that this has been a long time coming - nearly 3 years - but I am having some trouble processing . You see, here is the problem with having a big family... the things that are really important to one of us, are probably important to all of us.
Mom didn't help things. She apparently promised her bed to three of the five of us at one time or another. It is this fabulous, dark wood antique that she bought at an auction. And she used to have white sheets and a dark green comforter... it is basically the most perfect bed ever invented. And Laura, Kaytie and I all think it is supposed to be ours.
And then, thinking like this makes me feel worse, because it makes me feel like we are being greedy. I mean, we are all sisters. So, it's not like we are going to divide this stuff up and never see it again. But it does worry me about who gets what because the last thing I want is to divide up my mom's possessions only to have it ruined shortly thereafter. And Laura and Kaytie both have animals that tend to ruin things. Laura's cats like to pee on stuff and her dog is a scratcher/biter. And Neville (Kaytie's cat) is appropriately nicknamed Devil.
And I am worried that sorting stuff out will turn into a big argument. Because anything relating to Mom usually does. It took us 2 and a bit years to come up with a saying for her gravemarker... I mean, take something that could be border-line simple, add 5 opinionated girls to it, and you have the potential for bloodshed. I can just see how it's going to go:
Laura will keep "claiming things" (for lack of a better term); Kaytie will get annoyed and say that she isn't getting anything she wants. She'll start talking about the issues she felt that she and mom had. Jenny will get an attitude and not want to be there. I will start crying for absolutely no reason. And Kim will either pick up a book and ignore the rest of us, or say "forget it" and walk upstairs and lock herself in her room with our dog.
I guess, I just wish that this had been brought up on a weekend. Or a work night. But hitting me with it first thing on Friday morning was too much. I have been on the verge of tears for the last few hours... sitting at my desk, trying to look busy, like I am concentrating really hard on whatever task is before me... But to be honest, I haven't done much in the way of work at all today.
I should have just called in sick.
My older sister called me this morning while I was getting ready for work to discuss a random thought that she had had last night. She wanted to know if, when I do get engaged, I want a new ring or more of a family heirloom. I said it didn't really matter to me, but as far as I knew, the only heirloom ring we have is the one my father gave my mother (which I think may be a little jinxed given the suckiness that was their marriage). Well, it turns out that Kim wants my Mom's ring if and when she gets engaged. And I'm fine with that... but it was what she said next that kind of threw me...
"Well, I only bring it up because we have to go through all of her stuff at Christmas."
You see, my dad plans to move in with Roberta after Jenny leaves for college. That means that everything that belonged to my mom needs to be sorted through, divided up and donated (for clothes and stuff). And I know that this has been a long time coming - nearly 3 years - but I am having some trouble processing . You see, here is the problem with having a big family... the things that are really important to one of us, are probably important to all of us.
Mom didn't help things. She apparently promised her bed to three of the five of us at one time or another. It is this fabulous, dark wood antique that she bought at an auction. And she used to have white sheets and a dark green comforter... it is basically the most perfect bed ever invented. And Laura, Kaytie and I all think it is supposed to be ours.
And then, thinking like this makes me feel worse, because it makes me feel like we are being greedy. I mean, we are all sisters. So, it's not like we are going to divide this stuff up and never see it again. But it does worry me about who gets what because the last thing I want is to divide up my mom's possessions only to have it ruined shortly thereafter. And Laura and Kaytie both have animals that tend to ruin things. Laura's cats like to pee on stuff and her dog is a scratcher/biter. And Neville (Kaytie's cat) is appropriately nicknamed Devil.
And I am worried that sorting stuff out will turn into a big argument. Because anything relating to Mom usually does. It took us 2 and a bit years to come up with a saying for her gravemarker... I mean, take something that could be border-line simple, add 5 opinionated girls to it, and you have the potential for bloodshed. I can just see how it's going to go:
Laura will keep "claiming things" (for lack of a better term); Kaytie will get annoyed and say that she isn't getting anything she wants. She'll start talking about the issues she felt that she and mom had. Jenny will get an attitude and not want to be there. I will start crying for absolutely no reason. And Kim will either pick up a book and ignore the rest of us, or say "forget it" and walk upstairs and lock herself in her room with our dog.
I guess, I just wish that this had been brought up on a weekend. Or a work night. But hitting me with it first thing on Friday morning was too much. I have been on the verge of tears for the last few hours... sitting at my desk, trying to look busy, like I am concentrating really hard on whatever task is before me... But to be honest, I haven't done much in the way of work at all today.
I should have just called in sick.