Avengerkink Fill
Prompt: The team doesn’t know that Bruce and Tony are together; up until for some reason they’re forced to stay somewhere that doesn’t have soundproofed bedrooms. Then, believe, they know. They know all too well.
Clint crept back into the farmhouse after doing a second perimeter check that even he knew was mostly unnecessary. The only people around for miles were either S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel or Avengers. Things had been relatively quiet lately. Almost too quiet. Which is probably why Director Fury was getting so damn twitchy and arranged for this week of Hell - also known as training exercises- in the first place.
Something about team bonding and becoming a more cohesive unit - preferably before the next alien invasion.
Clint wasn’t sure how successful it would be. The location they were in was pretty remote. Stark had almost had a full-tilt diva meltdown when they’d arrived earlier in the day and realized the house didn’t even have Internet… or a minibar.
Then Banner had snarked, “Gee Tony. You built an arc reactor in a cave. Now you’re complaining about a lack of Internet connection? What are you losing your touch? I guess it’s been one too many knocks to the head in your suit. You do know repetitive concussions can lead to permanent brain damage, right?”
Tony’s jaw had dropped at that comment. So did Clint’s for that matter. He hadn’t known the good doc had it in him.
Of course Stark took it as the challenge it was, then proceeded to drag Banner towards the garage, determined to show that his genius would not be thwarted by primitive working conditions.
Steve had looked ready to protest the way Tony was manhandling/frog marching a man known for his rather volatile emotional state, but a nudge from Thor and nod at the way Bruce was trying not to grin halted him in his tracks.
The ensuing nerd fight had so far resulted in no less than three small fires and two mini explosions coming from the garage.
And that was only the first argument of the day.
Clint was grateful for the relative peace doing a simple perimeter sweep had offered. He wasn’t quite sure how well he’d manage with this group for an extended period. The house seemed quiet now though, so he headed towards the living room where the tv was on.
“Hey” Clint said, wandering in and dropping down on the couch next to Steve. He’s unsurprised to find a black and white movie on the screen ahead.
Steve smiled faintly back at him. “Secure?” he questioned wryly.
Clint nodded, then shrugged slightly. “Needed to get out. Where are the others?”
“Think Natasha went to sleep. Thor is in the kitchen making pop tarts.” Steve replied with an easy gesture towards the next room. Sure enough, Thor was poking at the toaster. “Banner and Stark started speaking gibberish again about an hour ago and went upstairs. I’m sure they’ll have built a better mousetrap or something by morning…”
Clint grinned at the tone, it’s somewhere between mystified and derisive. “Getting a little tired of the ‘Science Bros’ routine? I’m definitely going to shoot one of them if their mousetrap ends up blowing up the house.”
Steve smiled at that. “I forget sometimes that Bruce is-”
Suddenly a crash from overhead sounded and Captain Rogers was on his feet in an instant.
“Think that’s Tony about to blow up the house or the Hulk about to smash it down?” Clint asked calmly, moving to his feet as well.
“Bruce!” They heard Tony shout. “Please!”
“Hulk” Clint and Steve confirmed simultaneously, hurriedly making their way to the stairs.
Steve took the stairs three at a time. Clint jogged back towards the door for his arrows then followed after.
Thor caught up to him on the landing, “Has Banner lost control?”
Clint opened his mouth to reply, but his words were cut off by a loud groan. His brow furrowed. That didn’t sound much like the angry green rage monster. In fact, it sounded like-
“God! Bruce! Ugghnn…. Harder!”
Tony Stark, ladies and gentlemen.
Clint rubbed a hand over his face and shook his head. Clearly he'd done something heinous in a previous life. Then he looked up and nearly choked trying to contain his laughter. Steve was standing right in front of Bruce’s door, hand poised to turn the knob, face bright red and standing still as a statue.
“You alright there Cap?” Clint managed.
Slowly, Steve’s head turned back towards Clint. His eyes were shockingly wide and his voice had gone up an entire octave. “I don’t think they’re building a mousetrap anymore…”
At that, Clint couldn’t contain his laughter anymore. He doubled over on the stairs in hysterics, tears streaming down his face.
“Oh God! Bruce! Please!”
For some reason, this made Clint laugh even harder. He definitely didn’t think the good doctor had that in him.
“I do not understand. When Stark explained that Banner was his BFF, Jane explained this term to me. She said it spoke of the greatness and glory of their friendship. But this…” Thor trailed off. The noises of Banner apparently fucking Tony Freaking Stark into the mattress echoed around the hallway. “Coupling? I was not aware they had joined as shield mates. Were you aware of this union?”
Clint could hear the note of hurt in Thor’s voice. He swallowed down the hysteric giggle he wanted to let out. He glanced back at Steve again, still frozen in front of the doorway looking decidedly unsettled.
Clint wondered if he was going to be treated to a sudden clash of 40s values and the modern day hijinks ensuing behind closed doors.
“Seriously? You all are just going to stand out here and listen to this?” A feminine and decidedly pissed voice broke out.
“Tasha?” Clint could just see her stalking from her room down the hallway towards Steve. She looked intent on pushing her way past the Captain and conveying her displeasure to Tony and Bruce directly.
This seemed to shake Steve out of his current stupor. He caught Natasha’s arm before she could surge past. “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea-”
“Fuck! Yes! Right THERE! OHH!”
Natasha somehow managed to roll her eyes and glare at the door at the same time. Clint smirked. He could read her expression easier than a book, a combination of ‘Tony, shut up!’ ‘I’m going to kill you slowly for waking me up,’ and ‘I am so mocking you for being a screamer later.’
She leveled a death glare at Steve next. “And why not?”
“Well. There is that whole hulking out thing to consider,” Clint piped up, rescuing a blushing Steve from responding. “I mean, unless Banner’s a fucking machine” Clint paused and snorted at his own unintended joke there. Then death glare fell on him, so he hurriedly continued, “It just seems like a bad time to startle him, you know?”
Natasha considered this for a moment, then took a small step back from the door.
Clint frowned. He really needed to have a talk with her about why the Hulk seemed to bother her so much more than the rest of the team. He wasn’t sure anyone else, aside from Banner himself had noticed yet.
“Fine. I’ve got noise canceling headphones in my bag anyway.” Natasha said, before spinning on her heel and retreating to her room.
Another loud groan echoed around the hallway.
“Right.” Steve said decisively. “We should probably leave them to it.” The ‘and never speak of this again’ went unspoken. “Thor? More pop-tarts?”
“Bruuuuuce! Fuuuuuuuck!”
Steve jumped away from the door like he’d been scalded. “We could eat them while we do another perimeter check!” This time the ‘far, far, away from here’ was left unsaid.
Clint snickered again and trotted after their fearless leader as he fled down the stairs, clapping a bewildered Thor on the shoulder as he passed. “Come on. Let’s get some pop-tarts and make sure the cows haven’t done anything suspicious outside.”
****
The next morning
Clint woke with a start, almost falling off the couch as he sat up. His bed happened to share a wall with Banner’s. When after the fifth perimeter check, Stark still hadn’t shut up, Clint admitted defeat and crashed downstairs.
Next time, he was definitely packing noise-canceling headphones. And brain bleach. He was fairly certain such a thing didn’t exist, but hell, the two geniuses upstairs should invent him some. It was the least they could do.
Now though, Clint just wanted coffee. He padded into the kitchen and was shocked at what he saw.
Steve was leaning against the counter, back to the coffee machine, mug in hand. He was staring across the room at the lone individual sitting at the kitchen table.
Bruce was holding a large cereal bowl and eating with a zest Clint hadn't seen before. Typically Banner ate like a bird, even after Hulking out.
Clint watched him for a long moment. Bruce was wearing an old t-shirt and faded pajama pants that looked to be at least a size too big. His glasses were slowly sliding down the bridge of his nose as he poured over a journal spread out on the table. Occasionally, he’d drop his spoon to scribble in a notebook or push his glasses back up, completely oblivious to Steve’s (and Clint’s) intense scrutiny.
In short, he looked every inch the dorky scientist that he had the day before. Clint tried putting that image together with what he’d heard last night. It just didn’t seem to fit.
“Morning Clint,” Bruce greeted softly, without looking up from his journal.
Clint’s brows rose. “Hi.” And wasn’t this awkward.
Steve continued to stare.
Bruce took a sip of his tea. Clint was now certain he was aware of the Cap’s unwavering focus as well. Of course, Banner, more than anyone else on the team was used to intense scrutiny.
Clint made his way to the coffee maker, slightly jostling Steve as he poured himself a cup, hoping to break the tension.
Steve jerked in response, drawing his eyes away from the scientist and towards Clint, who smirked in response.
He was going to have some fun with this.
“Hey Bruce?”
“Hmm?” Came Bruce’s distracted reply.
“Have you seen Tony yet this morning?” Clint questioned, eyes on Steve.
Steve’s eyes widened to saucers.
“Umm. I think he’s still asleep. He was up pretty late last night. Had some kind of breakthrough on one of his research projects. You know how he gets.”
Clint didn’t have to turn around know Bruce was shrugging along with his nonchalant reply. Clint smirked. He’s good. Clint would never have thought to question the line if he hadn’t know for a fact that research was the last thing on Tony’s mind last night.
And how often was ‘research’ or ‘stuff in the lab’ code for ‘fucking like rabbits while everyone thinks we’re working?’
By the frown forming on Steve’s face, he could guess the same thought was crossing their fearless leader’s mind. He opened his mouth, but Natasha storming in cut him off.
“Banner. We need to talk.”
Bruce slowly straightened, closing his journal. He smiled in that harmless, awkward way of his. “What can I do for you?”
“Gag your boyfriend.” Natasha replied bluntly.
Clint could hear Steve choking as he gleefully watched Banner turn tomato red.
“Excuse me?” Bruce managed. “I don’t-”
Natasha shook her head. “No. Not interested. Here’s something even you geniuses should be able to figure out: Stark Towers - Soundproof. Farmhouse in the middle of nowhere - Not soundproof. Got it?”
Banner looked like he wanted to melt into the floor. “I’m sorry?”
Clint snorted.
Natasha rolled her eyes. “Just keep him quiet. By around three in the morning, I was fantasizing about cutting out his tongue.”
A flash of green appeared in Bruce’s eyes at that proclamation, but it was gone so fast Clint almost believed he imagined it.
When he looked again, Bruce was leaning back in his chair, smirking. “I’ll work on it, Ms. Romanov.”
“See that you do.”
They maintained eye contact for a moment longer and Clint belatedly realized that ironically, this moment was the first time the pair weren’t tiptoeing around each other.
The moment was broken as Thor’s booming voice rang out from the floor above. “Tony Stark! Congratulations on your joyful union!”
Bruce just buried his head in his hands and groaned.
Clint crept back into the farmhouse after doing a second perimeter check that even he knew was mostly unnecessary. The only people around for miles were either S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel or Avengers. Things had been relatively quiet lately. Almost too quiet. Which is probably why Director Fury was getting so damn twitchy and arranged for this week of Hell - also known as training exercises- in the first place.
Something about team bonding and becoming a more cohesive unit - preferably before the next alien invasion.
Clint wasn’t sure how successful it would be. The location they were in was pretty remote. Stark had almost had a full-tilt diva meltdown when they’d arrived earlier in the day and realized the house didn’t even have Internet… or a minibar.
Then Banner had snarked, “Gee Tony. You built an arc reactor in a cave. Now you’re complaining about a lack of Internet connection? What are you losing your touch? I guess it’s been one too many knocks to the head in your suit. You do know repetitive concussions can lead to permanent brain damage, right?”
Tony’s jaw had dropped at that comment. So did Clint’s for that matter. He hadn’t known the good doc had it in him.
Of course Stark took it as the challenge it was, then proceeded to drag Banner towards the garage, determined to show that his genius would not be thwarted by primitive working conditions.
Steve had looked ready to protest the way Tony was manhandling/frog marching a man known for his rather volatile emotional state, but a nudge from Thor and nod at the way Bruce was trying not to grin halted him in his tracks.
The ensuing nerd fight had so far resulted in no less than three small fires and two mini explosions coming from the garage.
And that was only the first argument of the day.
Clint was grateful for the relative peace doing a simple perimeter sweep had offered. He wasn’t quite sure how well he’d manage with this group for an extended period. The house seemed quiet now though, so he headed towards the living room where the tv was on.
“Hey” Clint said, wandering in and dropping down on the couch next to Steve. He’s unsurprised to find a black and white movie on the screen ahead.
Steve smiled faintly back at him. “Secure?” he questioned wryly.
Clint nodded, then shrugged slightly. “Needed to get out. Where are the others?”
“Think Natasha went to sleep. Thor is in the kitchen making pop tarts.” Steve replied with an easy gesture towards the next room. Sure enough, Thor was poking at the toaster. “Banner and Stark started speaking gibberish again about an hour ago and went upstairs. I’m sure they’ll have built a better mousetrap or something by morning…”
Clint grinned at the tone, it’s somewhere between mystified and derisive. “Getting a little tired of the ‘Science Bros’ routine? I’m definitely going to shoot one of them if their mousetrap ends up blowing up the house.”
Steve smiled at that. “I forget sometimes that Bruce is-”
Suddenly a crash from overhead sounded and Captain Rogers was on his feet in an instant.
“Think that’s Tony about to blow up the house or the Hulk about to smash it down?” Clint asked calmly, moving to his feet as well.
“Bruce!” They heard Tony shout. “Please!”
“Hulk” Clint and Steve confirmed simultaneously, hurriedly making their way to the stairs.
Steve took the stairs three at a time. Clint jogged back towards the door for his arrows then followed after.
Thor caught up to him on the landing, “Has Banner lost control?”
Clint opened his mouth to reply, but his words were cut off by a loud groan. His brow furrowed. That didn’t sound much like the angry green rage monster. In fact, it sounded like-
“God! Bruce! Ugghnn…. Harder!”
Tony Stark, ladies and gentlemen.
Clint rubbed a hand over his face and shook his head. Clearly he'd done something heinous in a previous life. Then he looked up and nearly choked trying to contain his laughter. Steve was standing right in front of Bruce’s door, hand poised to turn the knob, face bright red and standing still as a statue.
“You alright there Cap?” Clint managed.
Slowly, Steve’s head turned back towards Clint. His eyes were shockingly wide and his voice had gone up an entire octave. “I don’t think they’re building a mousetrap anymore…”
At that, Clint couldn’t contain his laughter anymore. He doubled over on the stairs in hysterics, tears streaming down his face.
“Oh God! Bruce! Please!”
For some reason, this made Clint laugh even harder. He definitely didn’t think the good doctor had that in him.
“I do not understand. When Stark explained that Banner was his BFF, Jane explained this term to me. She said it spoke of the greatness and glory of their friendship. But this…” Thor trailed off. The noises of Banner apparently fucking Tony Freaking Stark into the mattress echoed around the hallway. “Coupling? I was not aware they had joined as shield mates. Were you aware of this union?”
Clint could hear the note of hurt in Thor’s voice. He swallowed down the hysteric giggle he wanted to let out. He glanced back at Steve again, still frozen in front of the doorway looking decidedly unsettled.
Clint wondered if he was going to be treated to a sudden clash of 40s values and the modern day hijinks ensuing behind closed doors.
“Seriously? You all are just going to stand out here and listen to this?” A feminine and decidedly pissed voice broke out.
“Tasha?” Clint could just see her stalking from her room down the hallway towards Steve. She looked intent on pushing her way past the Captain and conveying her displeasure to Tony and Bruce directly.
This seemed to shake Steve out of his current stupor. He caught Natasha’s arm before she could surge past. “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea-”
“Fuck! Yes! Right THERE! OHH!”
Natasha somehow managed to roll her eyes and glare at the door at the same time. Clint smirked. He could read her expression easier than a book, a combination of ‘Tony, shut up!’ ‘I’m going to kill you slowly for waking me up,’ and ‘I am so mocking you for being a screamer later.’
She leveled a death glare at Steve next. “And why not?”
“Well. There is that whole hulking out thing to consider,” Clint piped up, rescuing a blushing Steve from responding. “I mean, unless Banner’s a fucking machine” Clint paused and snorted at his own unintended joke there. Then death glare fell on him, so he hurriedly continued, “It just seems like a bad time to startle him, you know?”
Natasha considered this for a moment, then took a small step back from the door.
Clint frowned. He really needed to have a talk with her about why the Hulk seemed to bother her so much more than the rest of the team. He wasn’t sure anyone else, aside from Banner himself had noticed yet.
“Fine. I’ve got noise canceling headphones in my bag anyway.” Natasha said, before spinning on her heel and retreating to her room.
Another loud groan echoed around the hallway.
“Right.” Steve said decisively. “We should probably leave them to it.” The ‘and never speak of this again’ went unspoken. “Thor? More pop-tarts?”
“Bruuuuuce! Fuuuuuuuck!”
Steve jumped away from the door like he’d been scalded. “We could eat them while we do another perimeter check!” This time the ‘far, far, away from here’ was left unsaid.
Clint snickered again and trotted after their fearless leader as he fled down the stairs, clapping a bewildered Thor on the shoulder as he passed. “Come on. Let’s get some pop-tarts and make sure the cows haven’t done anything suspicious outside.”
****
The next morning
Clint woke with a start, almost falling off the couch as he sat up. His bed happened to share a wall with Banner’s. When after the fifth perimeter check, Stark still hadn’t shut up, Clint admitted defeat and crashed downstairs.
Next time, he was definitely packing noise-canceling headphones. And brain bleach. He was fairly certain such a thing didn’t exist, but hell, the two geniuses upstairs should invent him some. It was the least they could do.
Now though, Clint just wanted coffee. He padded into the kitchen and was shocked at what he saw.
Steve was leaning against the counter, back to the coffee machine, mug in hand. He was staring across the room at the lone individual sitting at the kitchen table.
Bruce was holding a large cereal bowl and eating with a zest Clint hadn't seen before. Typically Banner ate like a bird, even after Hulking out.
Clint watched him for a long moment. Bruce was wearing an old t-shirt and faded pajama pants that looked to be at least a size too big. His glasses were slowly sliding down the bridge of his nose as he poured over a journal spread out on the table. Occasionally, he’d drop his spoon to scribble in a notebook or push his glasses back up, completely oblivious to Steve’s (and Clint’s) intense scrutiny.
In short, he looked every inch the dorky scientist that he had the day before. Clint tried putting that image together with what he’d heard last night. It just didn’t seem to fit.
“Morning Clint,” Bruce greeted softly, without looking up from his journal.
Clint’s brows rose. “Hi.” And wasn’t this awkward.
Steve continued to stare.
Bruce took a sip of his tea. Clint was now certain he was aware of the Cap’s unwavering focus as well. Of course, Banner, more than anyone else on the team was used to intense scrutiny.
Clint made his way to the coffee maker, slightly jostling Steve as he poured himself a cup, hoping to break the tension.
Steve jerked in response, drawing his eyes away from the scientist and towards Clint, who smirked in response.
He was going to have some fun with this.
“Hey Bruce?”
“Hmm?” Came Bruce’s distracted reply.
“Have you seen Tony yet this morning?” Clint questioned, eyes on Steve.
Steve’s eyes widened to saucers.
“Umm. I think he’s still asleep. He was up pretty late last night. Had some kind of breakthrough on one of his research projects. You know how he gets.”
Clint didn’t have to turn around know Bruce was shrugging along with his nonchalant reply. Clint smirked. He’s good. Clint would never have thought to question the line if he hadn’t know for a fact that research was the last thing on Tony’s mind last night.
And how often was ‘research’ or ‘stuff in the lab’ code for ‘fucking like rabbits while everyone thinks we’re working?’
By the frown forming on Steve’s face, he could guess the same thought was crossing their fearless leader’s mind. He opened his mouth, but Natasha storming in cut him off.
“Banner. We need to talk.”
Bruce slowly straightened, closing his journal. He smiled in that harmless, awkward way of his. “What can I do for you?”
“Gag your boyfriend.” Natasha replied bluntly.
Clint could hear Steve choking as he gleefully watched Banner turn tomato red.
“Excuse me?” Bruce managed. “I don’t-”
Natasha shook her head. “No. Not interested. Here’s something even you geniuses should be able to figure out: Stark Towers - Soundproof. Farmhouse in the middle of nowhere - Not soundproof. Got it?”
Banner looked like he wanted to melt into the floor. “I’m sorry?”
Clint snorted.
Natasha rolled her eyes. “Just keep him quiet. By around three in the morning, I was fantasizing about cutting out his tongue.”
A flash of green appeared in Bruce’s eyes at that proclamation, but it was gone so fast Clint almost believed he imagined it.
When he looked again, Bruce was leaning back in his chair, smirking. “I’ll work on it, Ms. Romanov.”
“See that you do.”
They maintained eye contact for a moment longer and Clint belatedly realized that ironically, this moment was the first time the pair weren’t tiptoeing around each other.
The moment was broken as Thor’s booming voice rang out from the floor above. “Tony Stark! Congratulations on your joyful union!”
Bruce just buried his head in his hands and groaned.