You come back in contact with an old friend, but there were plenty of hurt feelings and unresolved issues when you lost contact in the first place--do you bring it up and sort it out, or let it lie?Your best bet is to avoid that friend completely. While it can at times lead to the rediscovery of an old friendship, people have an amazing ability to maintain grudges. I've been burned pretty bad by opening my heart to someone in this situation, and I certainly won't ever go down that road again. The worst part is that a person can seem perfectly genuine, but the moment something comes up that reminds them of that past hurt, you might find yourself in a world of trouble
( ... )
Heh. Sounds halfway like people shouldn't try bein' friends with me! I was the one who got hurt, I'm the one bringin' it up. Hopefully not maintaining a grudge, just feel like a kid who's been kicked and is trying to understand what happened. But years after the fact, admittedly . . . so let it go? Leave 'em alone altogether if I can't? I wish there was more middleground in life . . . suppose waitin' another few months or years won't hurt.
Also I guess I'm attached to the status quo? Or to maintaining friendships? I tell my gf to just hold on to the good stuff, but even friendships with problems aren't supposed to be disposeable, are they? Or are they? Mehr.
I definitely have too much crap. Books I've never read--that I've owned for decades. And on and on.
I think problematic friendships are perfectly disposable. If you feel its worth it to give it a shot, then by all means. But I certainly would not advise it, unless you're either hurting for friends, or simply unsatisfied with leaving things as they are.
There's nothing wrong with being attached to maintaining friendships. That's perfectly normal. I don't know if I'd call it perfectly wise, but that's really a matter of perespective.
You come back in contact with an old friend, but there were plenty of hurt feelings and unresolved issues when you lost contact in the first place--do you bring it up and sort it out, or let it lie? Depends, do you feel that this person is trying to be friends, or do you feel this person has an ulterior motive? Trust you instincts on this one. Living in the past isn't living, it's being trapped; however, ignoring the past is a surefire way to repeat it.
You have an apartment cluttered with crap from your earliest childhood, and you need to move. Do you find a way to store or keep it all, or give away some or most of it to friends, family, charity, etc? I'm going to be a hypocrite here... if you haven't pulled something out to use it in the last year, you don't need it. See if family and friends want it first (that way it'll still be around-ish), charity if there are no takers. However, certain things you need to find a way of holding onto, like childhood pictures, or that one favorite childhood toy.
I cannot read the person I'm thinking of at all. They seem so different, and I'm so different . . . don't think we'd hang out for a second if we met today, remember thinking she was awful when we met, but somehow warmed up and cooled off again. My instincts are confused, if they're there at all.
Packratism is a pseudotwin trait apparently. I'll have to see which things I think you might like. :P
Comments 5
Reply
Also I guess I'm attached to the status quo? Or to maintaining friendships? I tell my gf to just hold on to the good stuff, but even friendships with problems aren't supposed to be disposeable, are they? Or are they? Mehr.
I definitely have too much crap. Books I've never read--that I've owned for decades. And on and on.
Reply
There's nothing wrong with being attached to maintaining friendships. That's perfectly normal. I don't know if I'd call it perfectly wise, but that's really a matter of perespective.
Reply
Depends, do you feel that this person is trying to be friends, or do you feel this person has an ulterior motive? Trust you instincts on this one. Living in the past isn't living, it's being trapped; however, ignoring the past is a surefire way to repeat it.
You have an apartment cluttered with crap from your earliest childhood, and you need to move. Do you find a way to store or keep it all, or give away some or most of it to friends, family, charity, etc?
I'm going to be a hypocrite here... if you haven't pulled something out to use it in the last year, you don't need it. See if family and friends want it first (that way it'll still be around-ish), charity if there are no takers.
However, certain things you need to find a way of holding onto, like childhood pictures, or that one favorite childhood toy.
Reply
Packratism is a pseudotwin trait apparently. I'll have to see which things I think you might like. :P
Reply
Leave a comment