rooftops; where do we go from here (2/2)
Title: rooftops; where do we go from here
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Luhan/Sehun, Yunho/Jaejoong
Word Count: 9500+
Summary: As Yunho tries to escape his past with Jaejoong, he watches Luhan and Sehun and glimpses the future.
A stunned silence, and then Luhan says, “That’s impossible! They haven’t been on any broadcasted music shows for over two years.” Sehun also knows that Luhan considers this a great injustice.
“Exactly, and we weren’t told of this either. SBS is a bunch of two-faced liars. We found out barely ten minutes ago when one of the stylists saw Kim Jaejoong enter the building discreetly from a dark van.”
Sehun glances back at Yunho and Changmin, the former a frozen statue while the latter looks like he wants to throttle something.
“Anyway,” their manager hyung continues, “The bunch of you need to return to the waiting room until the closing ceremonies. Yunho, Changmin, you guys come with us for now as well.”
Still trying to process this development, the clump follows his directions and move away, Sehun and Luhan falling into step just in front of the duo.
“It’s not that I’m mad about them performing,” Changmin tells Yunho from behind them, voice low, “It’s just that I’m not prepared to see them; especially not on stage. We haven’t seen them for almost three years. I might lose it.”
Yunho doesn’t respond.
Things are almost back to normal by the time they’re back in the waiting room. Yixing and Jongin gather together to discuss the finer details of their choreography for the upcoming dance routine while Junmyeon and Jongdae compare the sizes of their personal Chinese fanbars on Baidu. Except for Yunho and Changmin, who lean against the wall like two giant statues, JYJ seems to have escaped most of their minds.
Luhan, however, grabs Sehun’s shoulder the second they return and drags him to the corner of the waiting room. Sehun realizes what he’s planning due to his self-preservation instincts kicking in, so before Luhan can even open his mouth, Sehun says flatly, “No.”
Luhan pouts and proceeds to make Sehun’s stomach flop in the most unseemly fashion. “Please?”
“Hyung,” Sehun sighs, “We are not going to go and find JYJ’s waiting room so you can stop dreaming.”
“Just one autograph,” Luhan begs.
“You do realize we will be skinned alive if they catch us, right? This isn’t like the time with the concert when we were still trainees. The game has changed and the stakes are higher.”
Luhan looks at him with a hint of sadness, “Why did you mature so fast, Sehunnie? You’re supposed to be four years younger than me.”
“And you’re supposed to be acting like my responsible hyung, not a hormonal fan girl.”
Luhan narrows his eyes and the challenge is clear. “Fine then, maknae- I’ll go by myself, with or without you.”
Sehun is scandalized. “You wouldn’t.”
A smirk. “Oh yes I would.”
“I’ll tell manager hyung.”
Luhan practically reeks of smugness as he says, “You won’t, because you’d never want to get me in trouble.”
It’s true, Sehun realizes with another stomach flop, although this one is accompanied by a bead of sweat trickling down his temple as he realizes what he’s about to get himself into. “I’ll come,” he mutters in defeat.
Just like that, Luhan gets his way again.
But when Luhan beams at him so hard that Sehun has to blink to clear away the bright spots in his vision, Sehun finds that he doesn’t regret the decision at all.
They wait until Jongin, Yixing, and Yunho are called out to perform their dance act. Yunho still looks shaken, but there’s a fire in his eyes as he pushes himself off the wall. It might be paranoia, but Sehun swears that Yunho’s eyes linger on the two of them before he leaves the room, almost as if he knows what they’re plotting. Sehun gulps.
A few minutes later, Luhan and Sehun slide carefully out of the room, having told their managers that they needed to go to the washroom. Underneath Luhan’s jacket is a smuggled copy of their album for JYJ to sign, one of the leftovers from the ones the EXO K members had distributed during their visits to the other artists before EXO M’s arrival.
The two of them have no idea about where to start searching, for all that Luhan’s grand plan entails is walking around randomly until they somehow run into JYJ’s waiting room. That’s exactly what they do, going down hallway after hallway, leading them further and further away from their own waiting rooms with the rest of the SM artists.
They pass by T-ara, Boyfriend, NU’EST, and KARA, and Sehun’s pokerface is slipping despite his best efforts. He’ll never understand how Luhan manages to keep his cool in situations where he’s cheerfully going against all the unspoken rules, for every time someone approaches from the other end of the hallway, Sehun wants to crawl into a hole and die.
They wander for a very long time. They’re getting further and further away, and the dimly lit corridors are starting to remind Sehun more and more of a horror movie. He’s just about to tell Luhan that they should give up and head back when yet another person starts walking towards them from the end of the hallway.
The person is slightly suspicious looking, with dark sunglasses that block out half his face and a cap which hides even more. He’s dressed in casual winter clothing, although it’s of high quality and had been chosen by somebody with fantastic taste. Still, he makes Sehun even more uneasy, and he shifts closer to Luhan as they pass by each other.
Then, without warning, Luhan whirls around, sinks into a ninety degree bow, and shouts for the whole world to hear, “Annyeonghaseyo, Jaejoong-sshi!”
Sehun blinks while the other man stills, slowly turning around to face them. An elegant hand reaches up and swipes the sunglasses off, revealing piercing blue eyes and perfect skin. His amusement is clear when he ruefully asks, “How did you guess, little Luhan?”
Luhan’s jaw drops. “You know my name?” Sehun mentally braces himself for Luhan’s mental breakdown when they return to the dorms that night. Because he’s such a good friend (although being something more would be nice as well), Sehun reaches over and subtly shuts Luhan’s mouth for him.
“Of course,” Kim Jaejoong replies like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “I love EXO. Mama, mama,” he sings, perfect pitch and even the hand gesture to match.
Sehun is debating whether Luhan needs physical support to continue standing when Kim Jaejoong focuses on him. “You’re also an adorable maknae, Sehun-sshi. I had a maknae like you once- it’s a pity he’s lost all his cuteness these days.”
His smile is blinding, and Sehun doesn’t even realize that he’s blushing until Luhan sends him a dirty glare.
“Perhaps you two can help me out,” Jaejoong says cheerfully, walking towards them eagerly, “Do you know where their waiting room is?” By them, I mean, DBSK.” His voice trails off awkwardly at the end.
Luhan blurts out immediately, “Yunho-hyung is performing on stage right now for their special dance stage. Changmin-sshi is in the EXO waiting room.”
Jaejoong chews on his lip thoughtfully before sighing in disappointment. “That’s no good. Mission failed, I guess. There’s no way I’m going to approach Changmin alone. I would very much like to live to see another day.”
Mission? Sehun barely contains a shudder. Jaejoong is starting to remind him a lot of Luhan-hyung, and not just because he’s pretty. Very pretty.
Jaejoong turns his attention back on them. “What are the two of you doing on this side of the building?”
Luhan clears his throat awkwardly. “Well, I was actually hoping to run into you. I’m a fan.” The last part comes out in a strangled whimper.
He needn’t have worried though, for Jaejoong immediately beams and his eyes start glowing, “I’m so flattered! It’s so nice to have fanboys! No wonder you recognized me even though I went through all the trouble of sneaking around in my casual clothes. Would you like to come to my waiting room?”
“Yes please,” Luhan squeaks, and Sehun nods fervently himself. Despite his earlier trepidations, Kim Jaejoong had won him over effortlessly.
“I love your blue contacts,” Luhan says shyly as they walk down the hallway. “They remind me of your style during the end of the year shows in 2008.”
“Oh yes,” Jaejoong agrees, “That’s part of the reason I chose to wear them today. It was his favourite style. Dyeing my hair black again also helps, even if I plan to style it differently.”
By now they’ve reached a door with JYJ taped to the front, and Jaejoong pushes it open, letting the two of them inside. The room is empty except for two occupants.
“Hyung,” someone calls immediately, “Did you get lost on your way here?”
“Not at all, Su-ah. Look at the two little ducklings I picked up though. Aren’t they adorable?”
“Please contain yourself. The mental image of you as a mother duck is quite disturbing,” a deeper voice replies from the sofa.
Sehun watches as Yoochun gets up, leers at Jaejoong, and returns the bows Luhan and Sehun send his way with utmost courtesy. “EXO members, I presume. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m afraid I don’t keep up with the industry much these days so I don’t know your names.”
“The taller ulzzang is Sehun and the cute one is Luhan,” Junsu walks towards them and bows as well, looking amused at the way Luhan’s ninety degree bows don’t seem to end. “You guys are very talented.”
“Thank you,” Sehun says softly.
“I love your voice,” Luhan adds.
“So did you kidnap them or what?” Yoochun asks slyly, shaking their hands with a firm grip.
“I would never,” Jaejoong responds, aghast, “I simply bumped into them on my way here, and they said that they were fans.” Sehun notices how Jaejoong is casually omitting information and wonders why.
Luhan carefully removes the EXO album from inside his jacket and asks, “Would you please sign for me?”
Junsu’s signature laugh echoes around the room. It’s contagious, and Sehun starts grinning as well. “He reminds me of you, Jaejoong-hyung,” Junsu says, taking the album from Luhan and rummaging in his bag for a marker. “Reckless and pretty.”
Sehun isn’t sure which of the two is more offended by the pretty remark, and Jaejoong whacks Junsu on the head for good measure. “Shut up and sign.”
They pass the album around, and when all three of them have had a turn with the marker, Junsu glances at his watch and says, “I’m going to go visit the BEAST members now before the stylist noonas get to me and start caking on the makeup.”
“I’ll come too,” Yoochun says, stretching and turning to Jaejoong. “How about you, hyung?”
“I’ll stay here and chat with the EXO boys for a little while longer.”
“Suit yourself,” Yoochun replies, “Don’t forget to text us when the stylist noonas arrive.” To Sehun and Luhan, he smiles charmingly and says, “It’s nice to meet you,” before pulling open the door and stepping outside. Junsu follows with a wave and a grin, and then it’s they’re alone with Jaejoong in JYJ’s waiting room.
“So,” Jaejoong begins, not wasting a moment. He gestures for them to sit down on the sofa and plops down on the one across from theirs. His voice is hesitant, but there’s a bit of underlying desperation when he asks, “How are they doing?” The question comes across as, “How’s Yunho doing?”
“They’re doing well,” Sehun is surprised when he’s the one to answer, “Yunho-hyung is very good to us. He looks after us, follows up with our performances, and is always there to give us tips on how to improve.”
Sehun swears that Jaejoong’s eyes are slightly misty when he replies, “Of course. He hasn’t changed a bit.”
Luhan the closet Yunjae shipper pops the question that thousands of fans have been dying to ask, “Did you guys keep in contact after the lawsuit?”
Jaejoong appraises them silently before responding. It seems that they pass his silent test, because he responds honestly, “I wish we did. It’s true that all our numbers changed, but that’s no excuse. Korea is a small place, Seoul even tinier. All our friends are the same. At first, I was too hurt to try- all three of us were- and by the time I did attempt it, they seemed to want nothing to do with us anymore.”
“That’s so sad,” Luhan murmurs.
“Perhaps,” Jaejoong acknowledges, “Changmin has always been harder for me to understand, but Yunho is like an open book, even if he thinks that he can hide everything behind the cheerful smile that is his pokerface.”
Sehun begins to feel self-conscious about his own pokerface, but Jaejoong doesn’t give him a chance to dwell when he continues, “I know he refuses to talk to us because he thinks it’s his fault. The company doesn’t care anymore. That idiot always had a hero complex, and he still thinks that he could’ve prevented everything if he’d been able to change our minds. He’s so stupid. He doesn’t even realize how much I miss him.”
They stare at him, awed by the outpour of emotions.
Jaejoong rants on, “Does he think that stopping contact will help the situation? Anger fades away over time, but our memories will only continue to haunt him. Even if Yunho wants to cut our ties, I’m too selfish to let him.”
Jaejoong’s cheeks are spotted red with rage and his shoulders are heaving angrily. He shudders and whispers, “I’ve said too much,” covering his face with his hands.
“No,” Luhan whispers, but even so his voice carries in the empty room, “I know exactly how you feel.”
Jaejoong peeks through his fingers to stare at him curiously, and then a knowing look appears on his face as his eyes dart to Sehun.
Sehun doesn’t notice any of it, completely fascinated by the way Luhan’s shoulders are starting to tremble. He opens his mouth to say something, anything, but then somebody knocks at the door.
It’s a welcome distraction, so Sehun spins around instead and rushes to open it, forgetting that it’s not such a great idea to open the door to JYJ’s waiting room when you’re an SM idol.
Actually, it’s a terrible idea because he’s suddenly faced with a furious Jung Yunho.
“I thought you two might be here,” Yunho growls. It looks like he’s rented some of Changmin’s anger and plans to return it to him with interest.
“Hyung! What about your performance?” Luhan gasps, getting up from the sofa as well.
“Yunho?” Jaejoong asks hesitantly.
Yunho looks away from Sehun and locks gazes with Luhan, determinedly ignoring the elephant in the room. “My performance finished ages ago,” he says dangerously, “Everybody’s wondering where the two of you have wandered off to.”
“Yunho!” Jaejoong insists again.
Yunho feigns deafness as he stares Luhan down, “This behaviour is highly irresponsible. I have half a mind to tell your managers, but I’ll let it go because I don’t want to see you two in trouble. This is the last time though, okay?”
“Yes, hyung,” Luhan responds meekly.
He starts walking towards the door and he’s almost there when Jaejoong casually calls, “Yunho, I see that your moobs have gotten bigger.”
“They have not!” Yunho snaps back automatically. He freezes. Sehun freezes. Luhan freezes. Jaejoong smirks triumphantly.
“It’s fine though, they’ll always be perfect to me.”
“Jaejoong…” Yunho groans.
And that’s when the dam breaks.
“So you were looking for an excuse to visit our waiting room, right?”
“I was not!” Yunho snaps, whirling around angrily.
Jaejoong hisses furiously. “Good, because using your dongsaengs as an excuse is quite pathetic.”
“Oh of course, since you know exactly what it’s like to be pathetic.”
“I may be pathetic, but at least I’m not a coward.”
“Coward?” Yunho’s voice trembles dangerously.
“Yes!” Jaejoong screams, “Don’t misunderstand yet again and assume that I’m talking about the lawsuit. I’m referring to all those times I tried to contact you, calling your phone, bullying Hyukjae into passing along messages, buying the same clothes as you, getting Hongchul to try and convince you that there’s something left for us after all. Do you know how much I cried when nobody else was around? How could you ignore me like that?”
Undaunted, Yunho roars right back, “You don’t understand, Jaejoong. You’ve always been too idealistic. I can’t even fathom how it was possible for us to hide our relationship before the lawsuit. Now it would just be impossible. You care too much about your career to let it be ruined by news of us breaking out. And let’s say I did contact you- there’s no way I could do that without wanting more, just like there’s no way for us to be mere friends.”
“So you made me wait three years?” Jaejoong whispers, barely holding back the tears.
“And I’ll make you wait even longer if I have to,” Yunho’s eyes are suspiciously wet as well.
“But I don’t want to.”
“It’s for your own good. I’m always thinking of you first, you should’ve known that.”
That’s all it takes for Jaejoong to press a hand to his mouth, shoulders wracking with silent sobs.
Something in Yunho deflates, and he crosses the space between them in two long strides, taking Jaejoong into his arms.
“There, there,” he says soothingly, “We’re both performers, Jae. We’ve been trained to hide our real emotions. I’ve done all I could to stay happy, and from the pictures I’ve seen of you recently, you look like you’ve been moving on as well. I’m sorry- I should’ve known that you’re just as good at suppressing your emotions as I am.”
Jaejoong doesn’t respond, opting instead to snake his arms around Yunho’s waist and bury his face in his chest, tears soaking through the outfit.
Completely forgotten, Sehun quietly nudges the door open and inches outside, pulling Luhan along with him. This is a private moment, not one that they were supposed to witness.
Outside in the empty hallway, Sehun shuts the door with a click. Luhan refuses to look at him.
“Hyung,” Sehun says softly, “Are you okay?”
Luhan shakes his head, determinedly walking away. “You’re so oblivious, Sehun-ah. I don’t know how much longer I’ll have to wait until you understand.” His voice trembles but his step doesn’t falter.
“Stop, hyung,” Sehun calls, moving after him.
Luhan doesn’t. “You keep sending mixed signals. You’re touchy with everybody, and half of our interactions in public are no more than fanservice. You really confuse me sometimes.”
Sehun’s had enough. He jogs up to Luhan, grabs his shoulders, and spins him around until they’re face to face. Luhan’s eyes are rimmed with red, and Sehun’s heart sinks in his chest as he realizes that he’s the cause for it.
Luhan has never looked so vulnerable before, and he has a face that broadcasts all of his emotions regardless of the time and place. This time, Sehun notices another emotion, one which everybody around them had probably realized ages ago, everybody but him. The love is there, and it’s been there for a very long time, which is why Sehun had never noticed because Luhan’s always looked at him like that, from the very first time they met on the SM rooftop years ago.
Sehun’s throat clenches and he squares his shoulders, gently turning Luhan until he’s leaning against the wall.
“There’s nobody around now. It’s just you and me. So figure out for yourself if this is just fanservice.”
With more confidence than he actually feels, Sehun leans forward and presses his lips against Luhan’s, feeling more than seeing his shock, followed immediately by happiness. Luhan wraps his arms around Sehun’s neck, grinning into the chaste kiss. Sehun touches their foreheads together, beaming at his shorter band mate.
“We’ll be okay. All of us.”
“Except Yunho-hyung,” Luhan giggles, smiling and happy again, “I’m sure Jaejoong is kicking his ass.”
--
Yunho’s back at the rooftop.
Today the air is clear and warm; not a single cloud is visible in the starry night sky. Somewhere far above, the five stars of Cassiopeia proudly shine, and Yunho knows that they’ll always be there waiting, even if nobody is watching.
He comes here often now, for a quick breather in between practices and after he finishes recording. The memories are still there of course, but they’ve evolved from merciless jail keepers to long-lost friends.
However, Yunho’s not fooled into believing that this place is his- just yesterday he’d stepped onto the roof only to see two new trainees chatting by the railing. Eyes twinkling as he listened to their laughter, Yunho had carefully shut the door and left them to their own devices.
A light flickers on at ground level, illuminating the gloom as two shadows slip out the hidden side door of the SM building. One of them wears a cap in the oddest way- it sits just on top of his hair, while the other carries a back-pack with a tiny Bambi keychain from London hanging off the side.
Sehun and Luhan glance around nervously, checking for sasaeng fans and seeing none, so Sehun reaches for Luhan’s hand and the two of them away walk lightly, disappearing into a tiny alleyway.
Yunho watches them with amusement from above. It happens whenever both halves of EXO are in Korea. After practice or rehearsals or whatever recordings they have that day, the two little lovebirds sneak out of the side door, visit their bubble tea shop in the dead of the night, and then disappear to god knows where, although they’re always back in the dorm by morning.
His phone vibrates in his pocket. Yunho bulls it out and squints at the brightness that assaults his eyes. The text message is from a caller named ♡＾▽＾♡.
Yunho enters his immaculately designed and fool proof pattern, so complex that even Changmin would never be able to decode it, and unlocks his phone. These days he guards it like a national treasure- they’d all be screwed over if some unsuspecting fool revealed its contents to the world.
Yunho taps the screen and reads the text.
♡＾▽＾♡: Yunnie-ah, are you there?
Yunho starts to respond after a second, when another message causes his phone to vibrate yet again. He knows from experience that he really should just finish typing, but the temptation is too much and he opens up the new text.
♡＾▽＾♡: I just finished recording our new song! The one I wrote for you (´ ▽｀).。ｏ♡
Determinedly, Yunho starts typing again, but alas, another message immediately arrives.
♡＾▽＾♡: It’s all clear for you to come over noww~ So hurry! ヽ(ｏ`皿′ｏ)ﾉ Jiji and I are waiting!!
Yunho practically howls with frustration when the latest message appears.
♡＾▽＾♡: Unless you’re not there ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ I guess I’ll call Minnie instead ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ and cook kimchi jiggae for him ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Yunho takes a deep breath, shakes off the illogical burst of jealousy, and allows himself a chuckle. Some things never change, no matter how many years pass and how many scars are left behind.
He types a short message: No, don’t call him- you promised to feed me today and me only, adding a Ψ(｀▽´)Ψ at the end for good measure.
Yunho opts to call him instead, selecting the first number on his speed dial, and smiling as Jaejoong’s voice sounds on the line, He turns around to leave the rooftop, maybe for good this time.
This is a rooftop which has seen two chapters of its story draw to a close, a close which is less of an end and more of a new beginning. Even so, affection takes root in the most unlikely of places, and perhaps a third is on its way.
--
“Insae-hyung, do you think we’ll ever debut?”
“Of course, Tori-ah, we’ll debut for sure. Together."
--
fin.
A/N: It's actually done! I've had this story sitting on my computer for the longest time, and it seems like it's a miracle that I finally posted it ;A;
Actually, this is my first time posting a fic on lj although I've had this account for ages and lurked on almost every DBSK and EXO community, so I'm not sure I did it properly...
Thank you so much to everybody who read this and wasted your time and I hope to post some of my other stuff as well in the future, although it's unlikely because I write with the pace and grace of a snail.
Feedback would be lovely <3
Oh, and the song that Luhan sings at the very beginning is In Heaven.