The Important People's Jjigae and Rice Cake Appreciation Society
Title: The Important People's Jjigae and Rice Cake Appreciation Society
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Yunho/Changmin
Fandom: DBSK/TVXQ/THSK
Genre: romance, crack, humour
Beta: the lovely vampcircus1
Disclaimer: Boys do not belong to me.
Summary: Changmin tries to join a fake book club.
Notes: Written for whatkindoftea for homin_holidays exchange 2013.
The infamous Important People's Jjigae and Rice Cake Appreciation Society is rumoured to have been established by one or more of the H.O.T. members.
Kangta himself has persistently refused to confirm or deny that allegation, despite it being one of the most commonly asked questions by people in the industry.
The Important People's Jjigae and Rice Cake Appreciation Society (affectionately known as IPJRCAS) is, on the surface, a monthly book club meeting; currently residing president being the successful solo artist, Boa.
What the IPJRCAS really is, however, is a singles night for famous, yet lonely people looking for love. The club's motto is "being important should not deny you the important things in life." The IPJRCAS boasts a success rate of 99%, measured by couples whose relationship formed at the club meetings lasting over 3 months. The figures are quite impressive, if you don't take into consideration the busy schedules of the club members, including tours and overseas activities which can sometimes last over several months.
Changmin likes Jjigae and he likes Rice Cake. He is also no doubt very important, but has always refused to seek membership to the IPJRCAS because the club members tend to have idealistic views about romance and looked down on casual dating, which Changmin himself had an unapologetic fondness for and found convenient given his schedule and general lifestyle.
It, therefore, should not have been a surprise when he finds a membership card stuck in between the cushions of the car seat where Yunho had just been seated. Yunho, being a ridiculous romantic and the biggest sap Changmin has ever had the misfortune to know, probably signed up for a lifetime membership. Changmin doesn't have a problem with the IPJRCAS, per se, he is simply concerned about Yunho. For Yunho, who wears his heart on his sleeve, to be a part of a club that promotes unrealistic expectations of love is asking for trouble. After all, you are born alone and you die alone.
The thing is, after all these years of looking after Yunho and (unwillingly) picking up after him, Changmin is used to considering Yunho his responsibility. That was how they worked. Yunho leads them forward in their careers, while Changmin makes sure that the man doesn't pass out from forgetting to eat. It is kind of unfair and frustrating, constantly being with someone who is so forgetful when it comes to simple things like where his phone is and where he had parked his car ('so Changminnie, can you take me home?'), and then remembers the entire choreography within the first hour of rehearsal.
But despite the frustration on his part, Changmin does admit that they make a good team. He thinks about Yunho meeting some screechy, spoiled actress at the IPJRCAS meetings and frowns. Taking care of Yunho is practically a full time job; and, really, Yunho should be thanking his good fortunes that Changmin is such an excellent multitasker. For instance, Changmin could look away for 5 seconds and then find that Yunho has gone and swallowed something too spicy for his stomach to handle. It is a skill perfected over more than 10 years of companionship and Changmin does not have time to be training someone else in the intricacies of Yunho-watching, he is too busy and important for that shit -
- or so he tells Kyuhyun, who listens to him while sipping on his glass of red. Come to think of it, Changmin is beginning to feel a little warm and light-headed. His mouth is also getting dry from all the talking so he downs the rest of his glass.
'Yunho-watching?' Kyuhyun laughs, 'this is why I love getting you drunk. The things you say, man.'
Changmin’s eyebrows knit together in confusion, but then he rolls his eyes. Obviously the intricacies of Yunho-watching are too much for Kyuhyun too, which is a good thing because otherwise he did not think they could continue being friends.
'Don't worry Shim Chwang, I have no interest in Yunho-watching,' Kyuhyun laughs.
Changmin hadn't intended to say that out loud, but it's always good to know.
The next morning sees Changmin as a pathetic lump under the blankets in his bed. He lashes out violently when the sheets are ripped away from him and then attempts to grab the nearest thing to block the hard morning light. In this instance, it happens to be Yunho's waist.
'Who gave you permission to invade my home on a Saturday morning?' He mumbles into the soft t-shirt covering Yunho’s stomach.
'Changmin-ah, this is my apartment now, you moved out remember?' Yunho says softly. There are fingers in his hair and gentle pressure against his temples. He holds back a moan and tilts his head to see Yunho's face roaming above him. The fingers knead into the pressure points around his eyes and Changmin thinks that the monstrous hangover was almost worth it for this. Almost.
'I'm never drinking that much again,' he said solemnly.
'That's what you said last time,' Yunho reminds him unnecessarily.
A loud grumbling hits his ears and Changmin nearly bolts from the bed. He sits up to see Yunho’s sheepish expression.
‘I haven’t had breakfast yet…’
‘I’m hung over and you expect me to cook you breakfast?’ Changmin cries.
Yunho shrugs and Changmin narrows his eyes. Then he remembers the last time Yunho had tried to cook for him.
‘Alright then.’
* * *
They are in a meeting with their management team when Kyuhyun’s message arrives.
There is a book club meeting tonight
Changmin leans towards Yunho and whispers, ‘Are you free tonight? Let’s grab something warm to eat to battle the cold.’
Yunho looks at him in surprise and then glances at the paper pusher who is still in the middle of his presentation.
‘I can’t tonight,’ he whispers back, ‘Maybe tomorrow after work?’
‘No.’ Changmin fumes and stabs his notepad with his pen. The presenter pauses, looking terrified until Yunho gives him a wide, gentle smile and says,
‘Sorry, Changmin’s not feeling well today.’
Then he pinches Changmin’s leg under the table, hard.
* * *
From: Shim Changmin
To: Kwon Boa
Time: 1.26pm
Where do I sign up for the book club?
From: Kwon Boa
To: Shim Changmin
Time: 2.45pm
Our book club does not need members who only read porn.
From: Shim Changmin
To: Kwon Boa
Time: 2.45pm
I’ll have you know I am very widely read.
From: Kwon Boa
To: Shim Changmin
Time: 2.46pm
I’m sure you are entirely too widely read to suit the club’s purposes.
But you are welcome to submit your application for the club committee’s consideration.
From: Shim Changmin
To: Kwon Boa
Time: 2.46pm
There’s a committee? I thought you ran the club?
From: Kwon Boa
To: Shim Changmin
Time: 2.47pm
There is a committee and I am both the club president and a committee member.
The application is a 2,000 word self-introduction so that the committee can consider whether the application is important enough and suitable for the club’s culture.
Unsent message
From: Shim Changmin
To: Kwon Boa
Time: 2.48pm
I don’t have time for this shit-
Unsent message
From: Shim Changmin
To: Kwon Boa
Time: 2.48pm
You’re pulling my leg aren’t you, you-
Unsent message
From: Shim Changmin
To: Kwon Boa
Time: 2.49pm
Is this because of that time I called you short on national television in Japan-
From: Shim Changmin
To: Kwon Boa
Time: 3.01pm
I have more than 600,000 fans in Korea alone. I’m important enough.
From: Kwon Boa
To: Shim Changmin
Time: 3.02pm
It still doesn’t mean you will fit into the club's culture.
From: Kwon Boa
To: Shim Changmin
Time: 3.15pm
I've discussed your enquiry with a fellow committee member and it has been decided that your application needs to be only 1,000 words, since you have already satisfied the 'being important' criteria.
* * *
//PIECE OF CRUMPLED PAPER IN TVXQ'S DRESSING ROOM BIN: //
To:
The Club Committee
Important People's Jjigae and Rice Cake Appreciation Society
Dear Sirs and Madam:
Urgent application for membership
I am writing to apply for membership to the Important People's Jjigae and Rice Cake Appreciation Society (IPJRCAS).
My name is Shim Changmin and I am a member of TVXQ.
I wish to join -
Before I address the reasons for my application, I wish to set out some of my thoughts regarding the IPJRCAS. I am aware that your club motto is "being important should not deny you the important things in life."
What is it that you consider the "important things in life"?
Is it love? Companionship?
What makes you think joining a fake book club will help your members find the “Important things in life?” It is entirely possible that by joining the IPJRCAS, your members are, in fact, submitting themselves to a smaller pool of candidates instead of looking for love or companionship elsewhere; for instance, the people around them and those who have stood by their side for years. Only blind and stupid people would -
I wish to join the IPJRCAS because I am looking for someone important and I hear your club is full of important people. I hope to find someone who sees me as the most important person in their lives.
I also like Jjigae and Rice Cake.
I would be pleased if you would consider my application as a matter of urgency. Preferably prior to the commencement of the meeting tonight because -
* * *
Changmin finds Jonghyun at the entrance and shoves the membership card at him. Jonghyun glances at the card, then at the iPad in his hands, and then back at the card again.
‘Um… it says here that the card number belongs to Kyuhyun hyung,’ he says and gives Changmin an uncertain smile.
‘Look again.’
There is a pause and then, ‘um… hyung, I can’t find your name in the membership records either…’
‘Look again,’ Changmin snaps.
Jonghyun makes to open his mouth again when Changmin invades his personal space, using his full height to tower slightly over the younger man.
‘Look again,’ he hisses, ‘or I will tell your members what happened that last time we got drunk at Kyuhyun’s house and played truth or dare.’
Jonghyun closes his mouth with a snap and then rolls his eyes.
‘Oh here it is,’ he says monotonously, ‘I found your name on the list, it was towards the back so I missed it earlier.’
‘Good boy,’ Changmin says and pats his shoulder.
For that night’s club meeting, the IPJRCAS booked an entire restaurant to ensure the privacy of its members. There were tables set for two lined up around the room while the centre was empty except for a cluster of coloured chairs. Changmin promptly ducks behind a pillar when Boa comes into view.
'Fancy seeing you here,' a voice says behind him and Changmin nearly jumps a foot in the air, 'I didn't think they'd let you in.'
Changmin turns around to find Heechul, arms crossed, looking both amused and perpetually bored.
'If they let you in, they can let me in,' Changmin snaps, then pauses to remember his manners. 'Hyung,' he adds. The last thing he wants is for Heechul to complain to Yunho that he was rude. Heechul would do it just to be a dick or to amuse himself and Yunho would probably take him seriously.
Heechul seems to consider him for a moment while Changmin tries to sneak a look from behind the pillar to see if they are within Boa’s line of sight.
'Look hyung, I'm a bit busy... so' he trails off, hoping Heechul would get the point.
'Then I suppose I'll tell Kyuhyun that you don’t need my help after all?'
He makes to turn away, but Changmin grabs his arm and pulls him behind the pillar too.
A few metres away, Boa glides across the room heading straight for a waiter who looks to be struggling with the cork of a champagne bottle dangerously close to where a row of candles had been lit.
'Kyuhyun sent you? ' Changmin whispers.
Heechul laughs and shoves at his chest. It is only then that Changmin realises he has Heechul pinned against the pillar in his rush to hide both of them from Boa.
'Changminnie, I am fond of you, but not that fond,' Heechul purrs.
Changmin snorts and is about to retort when they are interrupted by a cough.
'Sorry,' a familiar voice says, sounding not the least bit apologetic, 'Changmin, I didn't realise you joined the IPJRCAS.'
Changmin steps away from Heechul so fast he nearly trips. He opens his mouth to explain and then closes it when no words form. He shoves his hands in his pockets and shuffles his feet a bit. He should have prepared more thoroughly. He had been confident about getting in, he could even handle Boa should a confrontation be necessary; Yunho, on the other hand, he still didn't know how to handle sometimes. It seemed ridiculous that he was as bad at dealing with Yunho now as he was at 15. Especially when he knew he had done something Yunho would disapprove of.
While Changmin continues to admire his shoelaces, Heechul mutters something, which sounds suspiciously like 'pathetic,' before launching himself at Yunho.
'Yundol,' he cries, voice disgustingly melodic and sweet. Changmin glares holes into the back of his head.
'It's Changminnie's first time, so I was going to show him the ropes, but I'll leave him in your care,' he says. Changmin's brow furrows at how close he was standing to Yunho. Really, two people with no sense of personal space should not be allowed together. Then he looks between them and glares at Heechul's hand on Yunho's arm.
'He's always in my care,' Yunho says, sounding unexpectedly stiff. Then he yelps as Heechul pinches his arm.
'Now, now Yundol,' Heechul drawls, 'Be nice, I was only trying to help. You can have him back now.'
He turns to wink at a slightly confused looking Changmin, strokes Yunho's side in a completely inappropriate way causing Changmin's lips to thin, and is then gone with a wave of a well manicured hand.
‘Um,’ Changmin says coherently as he watches Heechul walk away. His shoulders bump against Yunho’s and he realises with a start that they are suddenly right next to each other. He doesn’t remember which one of them moved, but decides it is not important.
‘We play games,’ Yunho starts, looking straight head, ‘Then pair off for a bit, then play more games.’
‘Sounds fun, ‘Changmin lies through his teeth.
This makes Yunho turn and stare at him. His face is unusually blank and it makes Changmin unable to keep eye contact. He is about to change the subject when Boa’s voice loomed over the speakers.
‘If I could have your attention, please,’ she said, ‘Could all members gather at the centre of the room so that we can go over the rules for tonight’s activities.’
‘Come on,’ Yunho whispers, all mischievous and grins. Changmin’s head whirls in confusion at the sudden change in Yunho’s mood, but he allows himself to be dragged away.
They reach the coloured chairs at the centre of the room and Changmin does a quick head count. There were only around two dozen or so people present.
‘Low on membership?’ he whispers to Yunho, trying not to draw attention to himself.
‘A good portion paired off at the last meeting,’ Yunho whispers back. Then he pauses, ‘I expect them to be back next meeting.’
‘I thought you would be more optimistic than that,’ Changmin says.
Yunho looks at him and then turns his attention back to the front where Boa is holding a microphone, ‘Sometimes it takes a few tries before you find the right person.’
‘How is that different from just dating around?’
Yunho’s face is still turned away from him, but Changmin could almost feel the way his body stiffens.
‘Because. Changmin,’ he says and his voice is hard and foreign and Changmin hates the way he just said his name, ‘casual dating means it’s not serious. What’s the point of two people dating if they aren’t prepared to make it work and risk everything?’
Changmin wants to say something about ridiculous sentimental romantic notions, but has a feeling Yunho would not react well.
‘We’re all serious here, Changmin,’ Yunho continues without looking at him, ‘It’s always a risk for people like us to date, it’s even a bigger risk for people like us to date each other. These meetings might seem like a joke to you, but we’re serious here.’
Changmin’s stomach sinks a little, a feeling he is used to every time Yunho scolds him, but he also wants to argue, to tell Yunho that -
‘If it’s such a risk, then why bother?’ he says reproachfully. Annoyed at everything that has happened that day. He is here for Yunho’s sake. He didn’t spend most of the day trying to get into the stupid meeting only to have Yunho tell him off.
‘Because,’ Yunho says as he moves closer to Changmin and finally, finally his attention is focused on Changmin and the room is too warm and too small. Changmin leans in instinctively.
‘Because sometimes, it’s worth it.’
And then Yunho’s moving away again and suddenly Changmin hears the general chatter in the room, Boa’s voice echoing across the floor.
‘- when the music stops, try to grab a chair. The person who has the same coloured chair as yours will be your partner for the next 15 minutes. Find a table around the room and get chatting. After 15 minutes, we will play the music again. If you decide you like the person you are paired with, both of you can remove your matching chairs and leave the restaurant. Any questions?’
‘What if you’re paired with someone of the same sex?’ Changmin hears someone ask.
Boa shrugs her shoulders.
‘Deal with it.’
Then she is moving away from the makeshift platform and heading straight towards him. Changmin desperately looks around for a place to hide.
‘Shim Changmin,’ she says. Somehow her voice is just as loud without the microphone. ‘Don’t even bother trying to run. I can have this place locked down in a matter of seconds.’
‘Noona,’ he tries with his sweetest voice, the one that he uses with women he wants to pick up, and sometimes Yunho when he wants to borrow manga.
‘I came because I wanted to see you.’
Boa raises an eyebrow and Changmin feels like he just shrank two feet.
‘How did you get in?’ She demands.
Changmin is about to give her his pre-prepared bullshit story about Kyuhyun being extremely sick and how he had begged Changmin to take his place at the meeting tonight because he couldn’t bear the thought of missing a meeting and possibly the chance of meeting his one true love, when Yunho steps in front of him.
‘It’s okay, Boa,’ Yunho says.
To his surprise, Boa backs down. She gives Yunho a look that Changmin doesn’t like, all soft and understanding and then points a finger at Changmin.
‘Don’t screw up,’ she says and then swirls on her heels to walk away.
Before Changmin could say anything else, Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance starts playing and Yunho is suddenly moving around the room, mingling with swaying bodies and bobbing his head to the beat of the music. Changmin is trying to follow the best he can without blatantly shoving people aside when the music suddenly stops.
There is rush of bodies and Changmin looks around frantically before spotting an empty blue chair. A few metres away, Yunho predictably sits on a red chair.
Changmin spends the next 15 minutes sitting across the table from one of the Kara girls. They chat amiably about how the Hey Hey Hey hosts were absolute bastards (even if somewhat amusing sometimes) and which of the AKB girls were surprisingly likable.
When the music starts again, Changmin keeps an eye on a red chair and circles it until the music stops. He nearly stomps his foot when Yunho ends up on a green chair.
He is paired up with an actress who he hasn’t seen a few years. He compliments her on her nose job, she makes a lightly disguised remark about his unfortunate personality. Across the room, Yunho appears to be in a heated discussion with Boa, their heads inclined together. Changmin tells the actress that she might consider getting her chin done too.
Two turns later, Changmin is sitting across from Heechul listening to him wax poetic about his cat. His eyes are focused on Yunho, who has been partnered with one of the barely legal Exo boys, obviously nursing a crush by the way he gazes at Yunho with stars in his eyes. He snorts loudly and Heechul ignores him.
On the next turn Yunho is paired with Taeyeon, who looks attractively petite next to him. Instead of sitting across from each other, they are huddled on one side of the table, both looking at something on her phone. Yunho is probably giving her leadership advice, Changmin reasons, but then Taeyeon laughs loudly and whacks Yunho on the arm as they both giggle. Changmin frowns.
When the music stops on the 6th turn, Changmin is restless. Yunho has grabbed a yellow chair and the only spare chair left is a purple one. Everyone looks at him expectantly, waiting for him to take the chair when Changmin spots Jonghyun on a yellow chair and marches up to him.
‘Off the chair,’ he greets.
Jonghyun’s eyes widen. ‘Come on, hyung,’ he whines, but Changmin is having none of it. The night was nearly over and he hasn’t made any progress in his plan to prevent Yunho from potential impending heartbreaks.
‘Off and I will buy you a guitar.’
Jonghyun hops off the chair.
‘Did I raise you wrongly?’ Yunho laments when they sit down at a table, ‘You used to be so cute. Now you just go around bullying the young ones.’
Then he reaches over the table to cup Changmin’s face in his hands, and presses his fingers into Changmin’s cheeks.
‘Oh my god, hyung,’ Changmin cries and tries to move away, ‘Please stop!’
When Yunho finally lets him go with a laugh, Changmin looks around to see if anyone is watching them. Everyone appeared to be concentrating on their respective partners, but a few seats away, Kangin looks like he is trying not to laugh.
‘Oh my god hyung, you’re so embarrassing,’ Changmin says into his hands. Yunho simply takes another sip of his drink. Changmin doesn’t know how to deal with Yunho’s sudden bright mood, but settles for just listening to him talk. It feels so normal that Changmin nearly forgets they aren’t in Yunho’s kitchen or Changmin’s lounge room just relaxing with cans of beer.
When the music starts again, Yunho leans over to ruffle Changmin’s hair before moving towards the centre of the room. Changmin is left hurrying after him while looking out for reflective surfaces to fix his hair.
When the music stops on the next turn, Yunho is back on a red chair. The other red chair is occupied by Jessica. Changmin drags a green chair in front of her and points to it. She stares at him while he stares back. After a moment, Taeyeon walks up to them and drags Jessica onto the green chair. Changmin takes the red chair. Snickers fill the room.
‘You can’t keep doing that,’ Yunho says when they sit down. He smiles sadly at him and Changmin tries to work out what he has done wrong this time.
‘I’m happy you want to be paired with me, but Changminnie there is no point of coming here and trying to meet people if we’re together all the time.’
Changmin doesn’t tell him that this is all part of his Master Plan to protect Yunho and keep him from ultimate heartbreak.
‘I don’t mind,’ he says instead.
‘Then what’s the point of being here?’ Yunho asks.
Unwilling to reveal his Master Plan, Changmin tries to think up a plausible explanation when he remember that the IPJRCAS is supposed to be a book club.
‘It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife,’ he says.
Yunho’s eyes widen and then he is grinning at Changmin, eyes crinkling and amused. His elbow rests on the table and he balances his cheek on one hand.
‘Changmin-ah,’ he says, ‘You pick up women like a coat picks up dust.’
Changmin is quite sure that that line is not meant to be said in such an attractive manner, but he decides to let it pass.
When the music stops again, one of the Sistar girls stands up to offer Changmin the seat matching Yunho’s. Changmin walks to the closest table with a flushed looking Yunho.
‘Changminnie,’ he says, ‘You have to stop that.’
‘Stop what?’
‘How am I supposed to find someone to date when I’m always with you?’
Changmin glares in response. ‘What’s wrong with being with me?’
Yunho runs a hand through his hair. ‘You know what I mean.’
‘Well, I don’t know why you’re trying so hard. Everyone you’ve dated sucks,’ he says hotly.
‘Changmin-ah,’ Yunho says gently, ‘You're not being fair.’
‘Yes I am,’ Changmin snaps, annoyed and angry, ‘They haven’t been good enough for you and you’re too nice to call them out on it.’
‘What?’ Yunho stares at him in disbelief, ‘You can’t say that. And even if they weren’t good for me, that’s why I’m here, to find something who will be good for me.’
‘I’m much better for you that anyone you’ll find here,’ Changmin retorts and then feels himself flush all the way to his ears.
Yunho is silent for the remaining minutes and Changmin contemplates attacking the waiter passing by for a glass of something alcoholic or directions to the nearest pool that he can drown himself in.
When the music starts again Changmin drags his feet around the room and plants himself on a chair blindly when it stops. He only looks up when he hears a commotion a few metres away. He squints and thinks he sees Yunho trying to coax Heechul away from a red chair. Heechul is holding out one hand with a smirk while Yunho hands over something that looks suspiciously like his car keys.
And then Yunho is dragging the red chair noisily across the floor and walking closer and closer to where Changmin is sitting. Changmin looks down to find himself on a matching red chair just as Yunho stops in front of him.
‘Get up,’ Yunho says, his voice strong and low and Changmin stands on shaky knees obediently. Yunho grabs both chairs and drags them away from the centre space. When they reach the edge of the room, he straightens himself and faces Changmin.
‘I think,’ he says and then clears his throat, ‘I think I’d be better for you than anyone you’ll find here.’
‘Oh,’ Changmin says while his heart soars, ‘That’s good.’
‘Yeah,’ Yunho says awkwardly and then tries to smile.
‘But you have to do something first,’ Changmin continues and Yunho’s smile falls. ‘You have to renounce your lifetime membership to the IPJRCAS.’
‘But there’s no such thing as a lifetime membership -‘
‘I don’t care,’ Changmin interrupts, ‘As long as you don’t come back here. Because you won’t need to.’
‘Oh,’ Yunho says, ‘Okay.’
Then he smiles at Changmin all bright and ecstatic and Changmin ducks his head because Yunho smiling at him like that makes him feel horribly embarrassed and ridiculously happy.
* * *
From: Cho Kyuhyun
To: Shim Changmin
Time: 11.06am
So I hear that the IPJRCAS is now boasting a 100% success rate.
Also Heechul hyung says to thank Yunho hyung for letting him take his car for joy rides over the past couple of months. He’s decided Yunho hyung can have his car back now.
* * *
There is a familiar looking piece of paper on his coffee table when he returns home. Upon closer inspection, Changmin realises it is his abandoned application to the IPJRCAS. The creases from where he had scrunched the paper up before throwing it in the bin were still visible, but someone had obviously tried to flatten the paper.
Towards the bottom of the paper, were words in bold red ink:
REJECTED
We regret to inform you that your application for membership to the IPJRCAS has been rejected. We thank you for your interest.
IPJRCAS committee.
It takes a moment for Changmin to remember where he had originally left the paper. It takes him a moment longer to realise who had access to both his dressing room and home and is a member of the IPJRCAS before attacking his speed dial.
‘YAH!’
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Yunho/Changmin
Fandom: DBSK/TVXQ/THSK
Genre: romance, crack, humour
Beta: the lovely vampcircus1
Disclaimer: Boys do not belong to me.
Summary: Changmin tries to join a fake book club.
Notes: Written for whatkindoftea for homin_holidays exchange 2013.
The infamous Important People's Jjigae and Rice Cake Appreciation Society is rumoured to have been established by one or more of the H.O.T. members.
Kangta himself has persistently refused to confirm or deny that allegation, despite it being one of the most commonly asked questions by people in the industry.
The Important People's Jjigae and Rice Cake Appreciation Society (affectionately known as IPJRCAS) is, on the surface, a monthly book club meeting; currently residing president being the successful solo artist, Boa.
What the IPJRCAS really is, however, is a singles night for famous, yet lonely people looking for love. The club's motto is "being important should not deny you the important things in life." The IPJRCAS boasts a success rate of 99%, measured by couples whose relationship formed at the club meetings lasting over 3 months. The figures are quite impressive, if you don't take into consideration the busy schedules of the club members, including tours and overseas activities which can sometimes last over several months.
Changmin likes Jjigae and he likes Rice Cake. He is also no doubt very important, but has always refused to seek membership to the IPJRCAS because the club members tend to have idealistic views about romance and looked down on casual dating, which Changmin himself had an unapologetic fondness for and found convenient given his schedule and general lifestyle.
It, therefore, should not have been a surprise when he finds a membership card stuck in between the cushions of the car seat where Yunho had just been seated. Yunho, being a ridiculous romantic and the biggest sap Changmin has ever had the misfortune to know, probably signed up for a lifetime membership. Changmin doesn't have a problem with the IPJRCAS, per se, he is simply concerned about Yunho. For Yunho, who wears his heart on his sleeve, to be a part of a club that promotes unrealistic expectations of love is asking for trouble. After all, you are born alone and you die alone.
The thing is, after all these years of looking after Yunho and (unwillingly) picking up after him, Changmin is used to considering Yunho his responsibility. That was how they worked. Yunho leads them forward in their careers, while Changmin makes sure that the man doesn't pass out from forgetting to eat. It is kind of unfair and frustrating, constantly being with someone who is so forgetful when it comes to simple things like where his phone is and where he had parked his car ('so Changminnie, can you take me home?'), and then remembers the entire choreography within the first hour of rehearsal.
But despite the frustration on his part, Changmin does admit that they make a good team. He thinks about Yunho meeting some screechy, spoiled actress at the IPJRCAS meetings and frowns. Taking care of Yunho is practically a full time job; and, really, Yunho should be thanking his good fortunes that Changmin is such an excellent multitasker. For instance, Changmin could look away for 5 seconds and then find that Yunho has gone and swallowed something too spicy for his stomach to handle. It is a skill perfected over more than 10 years of companionship and Changmin does not have time to be training someone else in the intricacies of Yunho-watching, he is too busy and important for that shit -
- or so he tells Kyuhyun, who listens to him while sipping on his glass of red. Come to think of it, Changmin is beginning to feel a little warm and light-headed. His mouth is also getting dry from all the talking so he downs the rest of his glass.
'Yunho-watching?' Kyuhyun laughs, 'this is why I love getting you drunk. The things you say, man.'
Changmin’s eyebrows knit together in confusion, but then he rolls his eyes. Obviously the intricacies of Yunho-watching are too much for Kyuhyun too, which is a good thing because otherwise he did not think they could continue being friends.
'Don't worry Shim Chwang, I have no interest in Yunho-watching,' Kyuhyun laughs.
Changmin hadn't intended to say that out loud, but it's always good to know.
The next morning sees Changmin as a pathetic lump under the blankets in his bed. He lashes out violently when the sheets are ripped away from him and then attempts to grab the nearest thing to block the hard morning light. In this instance, it happens to be Yunho's waist.
'Who gave you permission to invade my home on a Saturday morning?' He mumbles into the soft t-shirt covering Yunho’s stomach.
'Changmin-ah, this is my apartment now, you moved out remember?' Yunho says softly. There are fingers in his hair and gentle pressure against his temples. He holds back a moan and tilts his head to see Yunho's face roaming above him. The fingers knead into the pressure points around his eyes and Changmin thinks that the monstrous hangover was almost worth it for this. Almost.
'I'm never drinking that much again,' he said solemnly.
'That's what you said last time,' Yunho reminds him unnecessarily.
A loud grumbling hits his ears and Changmin nearly bolts from the bed. He sits up to see Yunho’s sheepish expression.
‘I haven’t had breakfast yet…’
‘I’m hung over and you expect me to cook you breakfast?’ Changmin cries.
Yunho shrugs and Changmin narrows his eyes. Then he remembers the last time Yunho had tried to cook for him.
‘Alright then.’
* * *
They are in a meeting with their management team when Kyuhyun’s message arrives.
There is a book club meeting tonight
Changmin leans towards Yunho and whispers, ‘Are you free tonight? Let’s grab something warm to eat to battle the cold.’
Yunho looks at him in surprise and then glances at the paper pusher who is still in the middle of his presentation.
‘I can’t tonight,’ he whispers back, ‘Maybe tomorrow after work?’
‘No.’ Changmin fumes and stabs his notepad with his pen. The presenter pauses, looking terrified until Yunho gives him a wide, gentle smile and says,
‘Sorry, Changmin’s not feeling well today.’
Then he pinches Changmin’s leg under the table, hard.
* * *
From: Shim Changmin
To: Kwon Boa
Time: 1.26pm
Where do I sign up for the book club?
From: Kwon Boa
To: Shim Changmin
Time: 2.45pm
Our book club does not need members who only read porn.
From: Shim Changmin
To: Kwon Boa
Time: 2.45pm
I’ll have you know I am very widely read.
From: Kwon Boa
To: Shim Changmin
Time: 2.46pm
I’m sure you are entirely too widely read to suit the club’s purposes.
But you are welcome to submit your application for the club committee’s consideration.
From: Shim Changmin
To: Kwon Boa
Time: 2.46pm
There’s a committee? I thought you ran the club?
From: Kwon Boa
To: Shim Changmin
Time: 2.47pm
There is a committee and I am both the club president and a committee member.
The application is a 2,000 word self-introduction so that the committee can consider whether the application is important enough and suitable for the club’s culture.
Unsent message
From: Shim Changmin
To: Kwon Boa
Time: 2.48pm
I don’t have time for this shit-
Unsent message
From: Shim Changmin
To: Kwon Boa
Time: 2.48pm
You’re pulling my leg aren’t you, you-
Unsent message
From: Shim Changmin
To: Kwon Boa
Time: 2.49pm
Is this because of that time I called you short on national television in Japan-
From: Shim Changmin
To: Kwon Boa
Time: 3.01pm
I have more than 600,000 fans in Korea alone. I’m important enough.
From: Kwon Boa
To: Shim Changmin
Time: 3.02pm
It still doesn’t mean you will fit into the club's culture.
From: Kwon Boa
To: Shim Changmin
Time: 3.15pm
I've discussed your enquiry with a fellow committee member and it has been decided that your application needs to be only 1,000 words, since you have already satisfied the 'being important' criteria.
* * *
//PIECE OF CRUMPLED PAPER IN TVXQ'S DRESSING ROOM BIN: //
To:
The Club Committee
Important People's Jjigae and Rice Cake Appreciation Society
Dear Sirs and Madam:
Urgent application for membership
I am writing to apply for membership to the Important People's Jjigae and Rice Cake Appreciation Society (IPJRCAS).
My name is Shim Changmin and I am a member of TVXQ.
I wish to join -
Before I address the reasons for my application, I wish to set out some of my thoughts regarding the IPJRCAS. I am aware that your club motto is "being important should not deny you the important things in life."
What is it that you consider the "important things in life"?
Is it love? Companionship?
What makes you think joining a fake book club will help your members find the “Important things in life?” It is entirely possible that by joining the IPJRCAS, your members are, in fact, submitting themselves to a smaller pool of candidates instead of looking for love or companionship elsewhere; for instance, the people around them and those who have stood by their side for years. Only blind and stupid people would -
I wish to join the IPJRCAS because I am looking for someone important and I hear your club is full of important people. I hope to find someone who sees me as the most important person in their lives.
I also like Jjigae and Rice Cake.
I would be pleased if you would consider my application as a matter of urgency. Preferably prior to the commencement of the meeting tonight because -
* * *
Changmin finds Jonghyun at the entrance and shoves the membership card at him. Jonghyun glances at the card, then at the iPad in his hands, and then back at the card again.
‘Um… it says here that the card number belongs to Kyuhyun hyung,’ he says and gives Changmin an uncertain smile.
‘Look again.’
There is a pause and then, ‘um… hyung, I can’t find your name in the membership records either…’
‘Look again,’ Changmin snaps.
Jonghyun makes to open his mouth again when Changmin invades his personal space, using his full height to tower slightly over the younger man.
‘Look again,’ he hisses, ‘or I will tell your members what happened that last time we got drunk at Kyuhyun’s house and played truth or dare.’
Jonghyun closes his mouth with a snap and then rolls his eyes.
‘Oh here it is,’ he says monotonously, ‘I found your name on the list, it was towards the back so I missed it earlier.’
‘Good boy,’ Changmin says and pats his shoulder.
For that night’s club meeting, the IPJRCAS booked an entire restaurant to ensure the privacy of its members. There were tables set for two lined up around the room while the centre was empty except for a cluster of coloured chairs. Changmin promptly ducks behind a pillar when Boa comes into view.
'Fancy seeing you here,' a voice says behind him and Changmin nearly jumps a foot in the air, 'I didn't think they'd let you in.'
Changmin turns around to find Heechul, arms crossed, looking both amused and perpetually bored.
'If they let you in, they can let me in,' Changmin snaps, then pauses to remember his manners. 'Hyung,' he adds. The last thing he wants is for Heechul to complain to Yunho that he was rude. Heechul would do it just to be a dick or to amuse himself and Yunho would probably take him seriously.
Heechul seems to consider him for a moment while Changmin tries to sneak a look from behind the pillar to see if they are within Boa’s line of sight.
'Look hyung, I'm a bit busy... so' he trails off, hoping Heechul would get the point.
'Then I suppose I'll tell Kyuhyun that you don’t need my help after all?'
He makes to turn away, but Changmin grabs his arm and pulls him behind the pillar too.
A few metres away, Boa glides across the room heading straight for a waiter who looks to be struggling with the cork of a champagne bottle dangerously close to where a row of candles had been lit.
'Kyuhyun sent you? ' Changmin whispers.
Heechul laughs and shoves at his chest. It is only then that Changmin realises he has Heechul pinned against the pillar in his rush to hide both of them from Boa.
'Changminnie, I am fond of you, but not that fond,' Heechul purrs.
Changmin snorts and is about to retort when they are interrupted by a cough.
'Sorry,' a familiar voice says, sounding not the least bit apologetic, 'Changmin, I didn't realise you joined the IPJRCAS.'
Changmin steps away from Heechul so fast he nearly trips. He opens his mouth to explain and then closes it when no words form. He shoves his hands in his pockets and shuffles his feet a bit. He should have prepared more thoroughly. He had been confident about getting in, he could even handle Boa should a confrontation be necessary; Yunho, on the other hand, he still didn't know how to handle sometimes. It seemed ridiculous that he was as bad at dealing with Yunho now as he was at 15. Especially when he knew he had done something Yunho would disapprove of.
While Changmin continues to admire his shoelaces, Heechul mutters something, which sounds suspiciously like 'pathetic,' before launching himself at Yunho.
'Yundol,' he cries, voice disgustingly melodic and sweet. Changmin glares holes into the back of his head.
'It's Changminnie's first time, so I was going to show him the ropes, but I'll leave him in your care,' he says. Changmin's brow furrows at how close he was standing to Yunho. Really, two people with no sense of personal space should not be allowed together. Then he looks between them and glares at Heechul's hand on Yunho's arm.
'He's always in my care,' Yunho says, sounding unexpectedly stiff. Then he yelps as Heechul pinches his arm.
'Now, now Yundol,' Heechul drawls, 'Be nice, I was only trying to help. You can have him back now.'
He turns to wink at a slightly confused looking Changmin, strokes Yunho's side in a completely inappropriate way causing Changmin's lips to thin, and is then gone with a wave of a well manicured hand.
‘Um,’ Changmin says coherently as he watches Heechul walk away. His shoulders bump against Yunho’s and he realises with a start that they are suddenly right next to each other. He doesn’t remember which one of them moved, but decides it is not important.
‘We play games,’ Yunho starts, looking straight head, ‘Then pair off for a bit, then play more games.’
‘Sounds fun, ‘Changmin lies through his teeth.
This makes Yunho turn and stare at him. His face is unusually blank and it makes Changmin unable to keep eye contact. He is about to change the subject when Boa’s voice loomed over the speakers.
‘If I could have your attention, please,’ she said, ‘Could all members gather at the centre of the room so that we can go over the rules for tonight’s activities.’
‘Come on,’ Yunho whispers, all mischievous and grins. Changmin’s head whirls in confusion at the sudden change in Yunho’s mood, but he allows himself to be dragged away.
They reach the coloured chairs at the centre of the room and Changmin does a quick head count. There were only around two dozen or so people present.
‘Low on membership?’ he whispers to Yunho, trying not to draw attention to himself.
‘A good portion paired off at the last meeting,’ Yunho whispers back. Then he pauses, ‘I expect them to be back next meeting.’
‘I thought you would be more optimistic than that,’ Changmin says.
Yunho looks at him and then turns his attention back to the front where Boa is holding a microphone, ‘Sometimes it takes a few tries before you find the right person.’
‘How is that different from just dating around?’
Yunho’s face is still turned away from him, but Changmin could almost feel the way his body stiffens.
‘Because. Changmin,’ he says and his voice is hard and foreign and Changmin hates the way he just said his name, ‘casual dating means it’s not serious. What’s the point of two people dating if they aren’t prepared to make it work and risk everything?’
Changmin wants to say something about ridiculous sentimental romantic notions, but has a feeling Yunho would not react well.
‘We’re all serious here, Changmin,’ Yunho continues without looking at him, ‘It’s always a risk for people like us to date, it’s even a bigger risk for people like us to date each other. These meetings might seem like a joke to you, but we’re serious here.’
Changmin’s stomach sinks a little, a feeling he is used to every time Yunho scolds him, but he also wants to argue, to tell Yunho that -
‘If it’s such a risk, then why bother?’ he says reproachfully. Annoyed at everything that has happened that day. He is here for Yunho’s sake. He didn’t spend most of the day trying to get into the stupid meeting only to have Yunho tell him off.
‘Because,’ Yunho says as he moves closer to Changmin and finally, finally his attention is focused on Changmin and the room is too warm and too small. Changmin leans in instinctively.
‘Because sometimes, it’s worth it.’
And then Yunho’s moving away again and suddenly Changmin hears the general chatter in the room, Boa’s voice echoing across the floor.
‘- when the music stops, try to grab a chair. The person who has the same coloured chair as yours will be your partner for the next 15 minutes. Find a table around the room and get chatting. After 15 minutes, we will play the music again. If you decide you like the person you are paired with, both of you can remove your matching chairs and leave the restaurant. Any questions?’
‘What if you’re paired with someone of the same sex?’ Changmin hears someone ask.
Boa shrugs her shoulders.
‘Deal with it.’
Then she is moving away from the makeshift platform and heading straight towards him. Changmin desperately looks around for a place to hide.
‘Shim Changmin,’ she says. Somehow her voice is just as loud without the microphone. ‘Don’t even bother trying to run. I can have this place locked down in a matter of seconds.’
‘Noona,’ he tries with his sweetest voice, the one that he uses with women he wants to pick up, and sometimes Yunho when he wants to borrow manga.
‘I came because I wanted to see you.’
Boa raises an eyebrow and Changmin feels like he just shrank two feet.
‘How did you get in?’ She demands.
Changmin is about to give her his pre-prepared bullshit story about Kyuhyun being extremely sick and how he had begged Changmin to take his place at the meeting tonight because he couldn’t bear the thought of missing a meeting and possibly the chance of meeting his one true love, when Yunho steps in front of him.
‘It’s okay, Boa,’ Yunho says.
To his surprise, Boa backs down. She gives Yunho a look that Changmin doesn’t like, all soft and understanding and then points a finger at Changmin.
‘Don’t screw up,’ she says and then swirls on her heels to walk away.
Before Changmin could say anything else, Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance starts playing and Yunho is suddenly moving around the room, mingling with swaying bodies and bobbing his head to the beat of the music. Changmin is trying to follow the best he can without blatantly shoving people aside when the music suddenly stops.
There is rush of bodies and Changmin looks around frantically before spotting an empty blue chair. A few metres away, Yunho predictably sits on a red chair.
Changmin spends the next 15 minutes sitting across the table from one of the Kara girls. They chat amiably about how the Hey Hey Hey hosts were absolute bastards (even if somewhat amusing sometimes) and which of the AKB girls were surprisingly likable.
When the music starts again, Changmin keeps an eye on a red chair and circles it until the music stops. He nearly stomps his foot when Yunho ends up on a green chair.
He is paired up with an actress who he hasn’t seen a few years. He compliments her on her nose job, she makes a lightly disguised remark about his unfortunate personality. Across the room, Yunho appears to be in a heated discussion with Boa, their heads inclined together. Changmin tells the actress that she might consider getting her chin done too.
Two turns later, Changmin is sitting across from Heechul listening to him wax poetic about his cat. His eyes are focused on Yunho, who has been partnered with one of the barely legal Exo boys, obviously nursing a crush by the way he gazes at Yunho with stars in his eyes. He snorts loudly and Heechul ignores him.
On the next turn Yunho is paired with Taeyeon, who looks attractively petite next to him. Instead of sitting across from each other, they are huddled on one side of the table, both looking at something on her phone. Yunho is probably giving her leadership advice, Changmin reasons, but then Taeyeon laughs loudly and whacks Yunho on the arm as they both giggle. Changmin frowns.
When the music stops on the 6th turn, Changmin is restless. Yunho has grabbed a yellow chair and the only spare chair left is a purple one. Everyone looks at him expectantly, waiting for him to take the chair when Changmin spots Jonghyun on a yellow chair and marches up to him.
‘Off the chair,’ he greets.
Jonghyun’s eyes widen. ‘Come on, hyung,’ he whines, but Changmin is having none of it. The night was nearly over and he hasn’t made any progress in his plan to prevent Yunho from potential impending heartbreaks.
‘Off and I will buy you a guitar.’
Jonghyun hops off the chair.
‘Did I raise you wrongly?’ Yunho laments when they sit down at a table, ‘You used to be so cute. Now you just go around bullying the young ones.’
Then he reaches over the table to cup Changmin’s face in his hands, and presses his fingers into Changmin’s cheeks.
‘Oh my god, hyung,’ Changmin cries and tries to move away, ‘Please stop!’
When Yunho finally lets him go with a laugh, Changmin looks around to see if anyone is watching them. Everyone appeared to be concentrating on their respective partners, but a few seats away, Kangin looks like he is trying not to laugh.
‘Oh my god hyung, you’re so embarrassing,’ Changmin says into his hands. Yunho simply takes another sip of his drink. Changmin doesn’t know how to deal with Yunho’s sudden bright mood, but settles for just listening to him talk. It feels so normal that Changmin nearly forgets they aren’t in Yunho’s kitchen or Changmin’s lounge room just relaxing with cans of beer.
When the music starts again, Yunho leans over to ruffle Changmin’s hair before moving towards the centre of the room. Changmin is left hurrying after him while looking out for reflective surfaces to fix his hair.
When the music stops on the next turn, Yunho is back on a red chair. The other red chair is occupied by Jessica. Changmin drags a green chair in front of her and points to it. She stares at him while he stares back. After a moment, Taeyeon walks up to them and drags Jessica onto the green chair. Changmin takes the red chair. Snickers fill the room.
‘You can’t keep doing that,’ Yunho says when they sit down. He smiles sadly at him and Changmin tries to work out what he has done wrong this time.
‘I’m happy you want to be paired with me, but Changminnie there is no point of coming here and trying to meet people if we’re together all the time.’
Changmin doesn’t tell him that this is all part of his Master Plan to protect Yunho and keep him from ultimate heartbreak.
‘I don’t mind,’ he says instead.
‘Then what’s the point of being here?’ Yunho asks.
Unwilling to reveal his Master Plan, Changmin tries to think up a plausible explanation when he remember that the IPJRCAS is supposed to be a book club.
‘It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife,’ he says.
Yunho’s eyes widen and then he is grinning at Changmin, eyes crinkling and amused. His elbow rests on the table and he balances his cheek on one hand.
‘Changmin-ah,’ he says, ‘You pick up women like a coat picks up dust.’
Changmin is quite sure that that line is not meant to be said in such an attractive manner, but he decides to let it pass.
When the music stops again, one of the Sistar girls stands up to offer Changmin the seat matching Yunho’s. Changmin walks to the closest table with a flushed looking Yunho.
‘Changminnie,’ he says, ‘You have to stop that.’
‘Stop what?’
‘How am I supposed to find someone to date when I’m always with you?’
Changmin glares in response. ‘What’s wrong with being with me?’
Yunho runs a hand through his hair. ‘You know what I mean.’
‘Well, I don’t know why you’re trying so hard. Everyone you’ve dated sucks,’ he says hotly.
‘Changmin-ah,’ Yunho says gently, ‘You're not being fair.’
‘Yes I am,’ Changmin snaps, annoyed and angry, ‘They haven’t been good enough for you and you’re too nice to call them out on it.’
‘What?’ Yunho stares at him in disbelief, ‘You can’t say that. And even if they weren’t good for me, that’s why I’m here, to find something who will be good for me.’
‘I’m much better for you that anyone you’ll find here,’ Changmin retorts and then feels himself flush all the way to his ears.
Yunho is silent for the remaining minutes and Changmin contemplates attacking the waiter passing by for a glass of something alcoholic or directions to the nearest pool that he can drown himself in.
When the music starts again Changmin drags his feet around the room and plants himself on a chair blindly when it stops. He only looks up when he hears a commotion a few metres away. He squints and thinks he sees Yunho trying to coax Heechul away from a red chair. Heechul is holding out one hand with a smirk while Yunho hands over something that looks suspiciously like his car keys.
And then Yunho is dragging the red chair noisily across the floor and walking closer and closer to where Changmin is sitting. Changmin looks down to find himself on a matching red chair just as Yunho stops in front of him.
‘Get up,’ Yunho says, his voice strong and low and Changmin stands on shaky knees obediently. Yunho grabs both chairs and drags them away from the centre space. When they reach the edge of the room, he straightens himself and faces Changmin.
‘I think,’ he says and then clears his throat, ‘I think I’d be better for you than anyone you’ll find here.’
‘Oh,’ Changmin says while his heart soars, ‘That’s good.’
‘Yeah,’ Yunho says awkwardly and then tries to smile.
‘But you have to do something first,’ Changmin continues and Yunho’s smile falls. ‘You have to renounce your lifetime membership to the IPJRCAS.’
‘But there’s no such thing as a lifetime membership -‘
‘I don’t care,’ Changmin interrupts, ‘As long as you don’t come back here. Because you won’t need to.’
‘Oh,’ Yunho says, ‘Okay.’
Then he smiles at Changmin all bright and ecstatic and Changmin ducks his head because Yunho smiling at him like that makes him feel horribly embarrassed and ridiculously happy.
* * *
From: Cho Kyuhyun
To: Shim Changmin
Time: 11.06am
So I hear that the IPJRCAS is now boasting a 100% success rate.
Also Heechul hyung says to thank Yunho hyung for letting him take his car for joy rides over the past couple of months. He’s decided Yunho hyung can have his car back now.
* * *
There is a familiar looking piece of paper on his coffee table when he returns home. Upon closer inspection, Changmin realises it is his abandoned application to the IPJRCAS. The creases from where he had scrunched the paper up before throwing it in the bin were still visible, but someone had obviously tried to flatten the paper.
Towards the bottom of the paper, were words in bold red ink:
REJECTED
We regret to inform you that your application for membership to the IPJRCAS has been rejected. We thank you for your interest.
IPJRCAS committee.
It takes a moment for Changmin to remember where he had originally left the paper. It takes him a moment longer to realise who had access to both his dressing room and home and is a member of the IPJRCAS before attacking his speed dial.
‘YAH!’