But a Dream
Title: But a Dream
Author: cease11
Pairing: Akame
Rating: PG
Beta: pinkeuphoria1
Disclaimer: Boys do not belong to me
Summary: From the first kiss to the last.
A/N: For becquinho who wanted written-in-toilet-during-work Akame fic
Jin
1.
The first time Jin kissed Kame, Kame was frozen. A perfect statue, had there not been the coloured cheeks and the way Kame blinked at him slowly. Jin didn't know what to do with his hands. He wanted to put them over Kame's ears so that he wouldn't be able to hear the embarrassing pounding of Jin's heart, but instead Jin gripped his sleeping bag with his fingers and found himself sliding further down until it covered half his face.
Kame looked like he wanted to say something, but he never did.
Jin thought he would never be able to fall sleep that night, but he did anyway.
And when he woke up the next morning, sunlight was marking the presence of unwanted guests and it wasn't until later that he realised Kame had moved closer to him from his original position the night before. There were shy smiles after the flap of their tent closed and they walked together along the beach, arms, hands and fingers brushing against each other.
2.
The second time Jin kissed Kame, Kame punched him. Kame didn't hold back and it hurt. But the clenching of his chest hurt more than his jaw. There was the taste of alcohol and blood in his mouth and Jin felt like more of a mess than he must have looked.
'Fuck you Akanashi,' Kame spat. His eyes were frantic and mad, and Jin wondered whether Kame was not drunker than him.
'Just when I thought you couldn't get more low.' His words hurt. 'Are we not good enough for you now?'
3.
The third time Jin kissed Kame, it was in a hotel room in a foreign country. Kame's eyes narrowed as Jin closed the door behind him and turned the lock. He didn't give Kame a chance to speak, because speaking always got them into trouble; and because he didn't know how to express this desperation in words anyway.
Kame pushed him away, hard enough for him to land on the floor and then wiped his lips on the back of his hand with disgust written all over his face. Jin felt nauseous, but equally furious. He stood up and gripped Kame around the shoulders hard enough to bruise, before pressing their lips together.
Kame actually punched him in the stomach. But then Jin wrapped his arms around him until there was no room between them and until his own arms hurt from the use of strength. He pressed into the kiss until he felt Kame's strength slowly give out under him. Kame's whole body slackened and Jin was sure his arms were the only things keeping the man upright.
Slowly, there were fingers on his back, as soft as a brush of feathers at first, before tightening around the fabric of his jacket and clawing at his spine.
'I don't understand,' Kame muttered against his neck. Jin didn't reply, but he stroked Kame's hair until they were both kneeling on the floor. Kame was leaning against him and when they finally pulled apart, Jin kissed him again, gently this time. Gently and slowly and over and over again.
4.
The last time Jin kissed Kame, they were inside Kame's car, five hours early for his flight with nothing but darkness beyond the window. It had been a quiet drive. The night before had been violent though, with angry words they both didn't mean laced with now inexpressible hurt accumulated over the years. Too late to ask for explanations; too late to explain. But sitting inside the car, it was like they were being sheltered from the outside world, from all external pressures. Everything was suddenly simpler and they were just Kazuya and Jin again, alone in their tent with nothing but the smell of salt and sea intruding on them. There was a sense of calmness that Jin had missed. Or maybe they were just too exhausted to fight.
The kiss was: goodbye and sorry and sorry and he hoped Kame understood what he was trying to convey.
Kame
1.
The first time Kame kissed Jin, it was in his room. Their travel bags were against the door and his family was probably downstairs, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Finally, finally, there were no more cameras, but he was more nervous than the first time he had to stand on the stage and sing.
There was still sand in his socks when he sat down next to Jin on the bed and then wished fervently that they weren't on a bed because it made him more nervous and he couldn't afford to get ahead of himself. He nearly missed Jin's lips when he leaned in and Jin jumped slightly in surprise. It was a little awkward and felt like the end of the world at the time, but they laughed after pulling apart and he intertwined his fingers with Jin's and thought that this was what true happiness must feel like. Nothing he had felt before even came close in comparison.
2.
The second time Kame kissed Jin, his heart broke. Jin pulled away, refusing to meet his eyes, and Kame suddenly felt sick.
'What's wrong?' he asked, softly and with so much fear.
Jin glanced at him before looking away again.
'This,' he said, indicating between them, 'Are you sure?'
Kame thought back to the night on the beach where Jin had first kissed him, the joy he had felt when their fingers kept brushing against each other despite cameras never being too far away and the warmth of Jin's hand in his, of Jin's lips against his. This was Jin, who patted his head when he was down, who practiced harmonising with him because it would be boring for Kame to practice alone. Jin, who could make him smile without saying a word and who was the centre of Kame's world.
'Yes,' he said with absolute certainty. 'I'm sure.'
'I'm not,' Jin muttered. Kame asked him to repeat the words, unable to believe his own ears.
'I'm not.'
And then Jin ran. He ran away from Kame's hand on his sleeve and Kame's voice calling out to him.
Mere hours later, Kame heard Jin laughing and talking a little too loudly about girls and their bodies and things Kame knew Jin had no experience with. It took him a long time to understand what was going on. It took him even longer to forgive.
3.
The third time Kame kissed Jin, it was a moment of weakness. An adrenaline filled, momentary loss of his senses.
The long awaited debut tour. Kame honestly believed he could forget about all the hardships, the looks, the whispers, the outright resentment directed towards him, if the tour was a success. All the pain would be worth it if they were a success.
And they were.
Screams loud enough to make the stage vibrate and enthusiastic enough to move him to tears - after the show of course. No one knows about how he laughed like a madman in the shower with a combination of water and tears running down his face.
When he returned from his shower to the dressing room, only Jin was left. Jin lay on the couch, still in his stage costume and snoring softly. Jin only snored when he was exhausted. Kame found himself kneeling next to his sleeping form and gently brushing locks of hair away from his face. He pressed his lips gently against Jin’s before backing away. The memories of warm fingers enclosing over his own and of awkward first kisses were nothing but a dream from his teenage years. He was wasting his time holding onto the illusions it cast behind.
Jin slept on, oblivious, as Kame slipped through the door and closed it behind him; but not before covering Jin with his own jacket, because the air-conditioning was strong in the building.
4.
The last time Kame kissed Jin it was in his car, parked at the airport car park, hours before Jin’s flight. Jin had fallen asleep sometime during the silence that had fallen over them and once again, Kame found himself hovering over that peaceful face and gently brushing his hair to the side. Then he placed a chaste kiss on his forehead and then one between Jin’s brows.
It was a romance story that was, in many ways, over before it had properly begun. Years later, he would see this as a beautiful dream, because love was beautiful, despite it sometimes being tragic, and his romantic heart will sign at how he had once loved so bravely.
Kame smiled tenderly at Jin’s sleeping form and whispered against his hair:
‘Go find your happiness.’
Author: cease11
Pairing: Akame
Rating: PG
Beta: pinkeuphoria1
Disclaimer: Boys do not belong to me
Summary: From the first kiss to the last.
A/N: For becquinho who wanted written-in-toilet-during-work Akame fic
Jin
1.
The first time Jin kissed Kame, Kame was frozen. A perfect statue, had there not been the coloured cheeks and the way Kame blinked at him slowly. Jin didn't know what to do with his hands. He wanted to put them over Kame's ears so that he wouldn't be able to hear the embarrassing pounding of Jin's heart, but instead Jin gripped his sleeping bag with his fingers and found himself sliding further down until it covered half his face.
Kame looked like he wanted to say something, but he never did.
Jin thought he would never be able to fall sleep that night, but he did anyway.
And when he woke up the next morning, sunlight was marking the presence of unwanted guests and it wasn't until later that he realised Kame had moved closer to him from his original position the night before. There were shy smiles after the flap of their tent closed and they walked together along the beach, arms, hands and fingers brushing against each other.
2.
The second time Jin kissed Kame, Kame punched him. Kame didn't hold back and it hurt. But the clenching of his chest hurt more than his jaw. There was the taste of alcohol and blood in his mouth and Jin felt like more of a mess than he must have looked.
'Fuck you Akanashi,' Kame spat. His eyes were frantic and mad, and Jin wondered whether Kame was not drunker than him.
'Just when I thought you couldn't get more low.' His words hurt. 'Are we not good enough for you now?'
3.
The third time Jin kissed Kame, it was in a hotel room in a foreign country. Kame's eyes narrowed as Jin closed the door behind him and turned the lock. He didn't give Kame a chance to speak, because speaking always got them into trouble; and because he didn't know how to express this desperation in words anyway.
Kame pushed him away, hard enough for him to land on the floor and then wiped his lips on the back of his hand with disgust written all over his face. Jin felt nauseous, but equally furious. He stood up and gripped Kame around the shoulders hard enough to bruise, before pressing their lips together.
Kame actually punched him in the stomach. But then Jin wrapped his arms around him until there was no room between them and until his own arms hurt from the use of strength. He pressed into the kiss until he felt Kame's strength slowly give out under him. Kame's whole body slackened and Jin was sure his arms were the only things keeping the man upright.
Slowly, there were fingers on his back, as soft as a brush of feathers at first, before tightening around the fabric of his jacket and clawing at his spine.
'I don't understand,' Kame muttered against his neck. Jin didn't reply, but he stroked Kame's hair until they were both kneeling on the floor. Kame was leaning against him and when they finally pulled apart, Jin kissed him again, gently this time. Gently and slowly and over and over again.
4.
The last time Jin kissed Kame, they were inside Kame's car, five hours early for his flight with nothing but darkness beyond the window. It had been a quiet drive. The night before had been violent though, with angry words they both didn't mean laced with now inexpressible hurt accumulated over the years. Too late to ask for explanations; too late to explain. But sitting inside the car, it was like they were being sheltered from the outside world, from all external pressures. Everything was suddenly simpler and they were just Kazuya and Jin again, alone in their tent with nothing but the smell of salt and sea intruding on them. There was a sense of calmness that Jin had missed. Or maybe they were just too exhausted to fight.
The kiss was: goodbye and sorry and sorry and he hoped Kame understood what he was trying to convey.
Kame
1.
The first time Kame kissed Jin, it was in his room. Their travel bags were against the door and his family was probably downstairs, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Finally, finally, there were no more cameras, but he was more nervous than the first time he had to stand on the stage and sing.
There was still sand in his socks when he sat down next to Jin on the bed and then wished fervently that they weren't on a bed because it made him more nervous and he couldn't afford to get ahead of himself. He nearly missed Jin's lips when he leaned in and Jin jumped slightly in surprise. It was a little awkward and felt like the end of the world at the time, but they laughed after pulling apart and he intertwined his fingers with Jin's and thought that this was what true happiness must feel like. Nothing he had felt before even came close in comparison.
2.
The second time Kame kissed Jin, his heart broke. Jin pulled away, refusing to meet his eyes, and Kame suddenly felt sick.
'What's wrong?' he asked, softly and with so much fear.
Jin glanced at him before looking away again.
'This,' he said, indicating between them, 'Are you sure?'
Kame thought back to the night on the beach where Jin had first kissed him, the joy he had felt when their fingers kept brushing against each other despite cameras never being too far away and the warmth of Jin's hand in his, of Jin's lips against his. This was Jin, who patted his head when he was down, who practiced harmonising with him because it would be boring for Kame to practice alone. Jin, who could make him smile without saying a word and who was the centre of Kame's world.
'Yes,' he said with absolute certainty. 'I'm sure.'
'I'm not,' Jin muttered. Kame asked him to repeat the words, unable to believe his own ears.
'I'm not.'
And then Jin ran. He ran away from Kame's hand on his sleeve and Kame's voice calling out to him.
Mere hours later, Kame heard Jin laughing and talking a little too loudly about girls and their bodies and things Kame knew Jin had no experience with. It took him a long time to understand what was going on. It took him even longer to forgive.
3.
The third time Kame kissed Jin, it was a moment of weakness. An adrenaline filled, momentary loss of his senses.
The long awaited debut tour. Kame honestly believed he could forget about all the hardships, the looks, the whispers, the outright resentment directed towards him, if the tour was a success. All the pain would be worth it if they were a success.
And they were.
Screams loud enough to make the stage vibrate and enthusiastic enough to move him to tears - after the show of course. No one knows about how he laughed like a madman in the shower with a combination of water and tears running down his face.
When he returned from his shower to the dressing room, only Jin was left. Jin lay on the couch, still in his stage costume and snoring softly. Jin only snored when he was exhausted. Kame found himself kneeling next to his sleeping form and gently brushing locks of hair away from his face. He pressed his lips gently against Jin’s before backing away. The memories of warm fingers enclosing over his own and of awkward first kisses were nothing but a dream from his teenage years. He was wasting his time holding onto the illusions it cast behind.
Jin slept on, oblivious, as Kame slipped through the door and closed it behind him; but not before covering Jin with his own jacket, because the air-conditioning was strong in the building.
4.
The last time Kame kissed Jin it was in his car, parked at the airport car park, hours before Jin’s flight. Jin had fallen asleep sometime during the silence that had fallen over them and once again, Kame found himself hovering over that peaceful face and gently brushing his hair to the side. Then he placed a chaste kiss on his forehead and then one between Jin’s brows.
It was a romance story that was, in many ways, over before it had properly begun. Years later, he would see this as a beautiful dream, because love was beautiful, despite it sometimes being tragic, and his romantic heart will sign at how he had once loved so bravely.
Kame smiled tenderly at Jin’s sleeping form and whispered against his hair:
‘Go find your happiness.’