Ahh! I never thought I'd be able to finish this fic. roflmao. XD. Anyway I do hope you'll all like it. NewS <33333
Title: Gay Talk!
Genre: Crack
Chapters: 2. It's supposed to be a one-shot but...I realized I could make it into 2 chapters while I was typing it. roflmao.
Rating: PG-13...? lol
Pairing: uhm....I don't really know if I should count it since it's just mentioned...but...OK. I won't tell it.XD.
Summary: A little break. A little chat. Big commotion. Sudden revelation. It's not good to be indecisive whenever Ryo is around. Uchi needs to practice more in sending mails.Know the secret of Hoshi wo Mezashite. Learn what a Shiver Cream is for. Do Xiao Long Bao flavored edible undies exist? Is it safe to eat a forgotten pudding?
Will Ryo be pardoned for his sins? Will Tegoshi be a Saint soon? *roflmao*
A/N: The ending is a bit rushed. Gomen if it's not good for you. I'll try making a better one next time. I've been busy with some stuff this sembreak so..it's rushed. LOL.
oh...beatification is done when a person is on the way to Sainthood.Maiu is another term for umai. XDDDD. Just in case some of you didn't know...
Disclaimer: I want to own Johnny's bishies! Believe me, I do! But yeah... It'd be impossible. XDDDD
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"Hmm...this one...no...this one...or this...?"
THUD.
"Itai!!!!"
"Omae, choose quickly, will you? You're not the only one who'll be eating!" Ryo said irritably. Massu turned back
his attention to the foods while nursing his head which unfortunately had been the object of Ryo's hot temper.
"Eh?! What can I do if I can't really decide fast on these things..." Massu added earning him another whack on the head from Ryo.
"YOU.ARE.SO.INDECISIVE."
"Gomen..." Massu mumbled.
"Maiu!!!" said another voice.
YamaPi watched as Tegoshi took another bite of pudding. Unfortunately for him, by the time that it was his turn to pick food, all the pudding were already taken. Now, he fills himself up by looking at the other boys eating their pudding.
"Ah...Suge~" YamaPi said as Tegoshi took another bite of the blessed pudding. He was unconciously opening
and closing his mouth as if he was the one eating.
"Oh gad. Have mercy on yourself, Yamashita" Ryo said seeing the other guy practically drooling over Tegoshi's pudding.
"Demo...The pudding looks so good and---"
"Kore, Pi" Ryo said pushing his own pudding towards YamaPi. The other guy's face immediately light up as if he was never in a distressed state moments ago. Ryo let out a sigh and rolled his eyeballs in return whispering to himself about how childish their 'supposed-to-be-leader' is.
"Ryo-chan arigatouuuuuuuuuuu!" YamaPi said while giving his best-ever smile to Ryo.
"That really looks so gay, Yamashita-kun" Shige said.
"Eh? Hontou? And how would you define being gay?" YamaPi asked.
"Well, you have two choices actually. There's the nominal definition and real definition of gay... So, which one? Oh! And if you choose the real, it could be quite difficult to understand so I'll just elaborate it to---"
"Shige, you're speaking 200words/min." Koyama said cutting off Shige's 'only-god-knows-how-long' speech.
"No, you're wrong Kei-chan... It's 498.82words/half a minute actually." Shige said in return. Which cause Koyama's jaw to drop.
"Anyway, please do have a break once in a while, Shige" Tegoshi said forgetting his promise that he'll call him with honorifics from now on.
"I'm wondering about something though...Ne, Shige-kun...Don't you ever get hungry when explaining such complicated stuff?" Massu asked while in deep thought.
"He's not like you, you know." Ryo said sarcastically earning a laughter from the group--- except for Massu who's still in his own world and YamaPi who 's contemplating whether what he did was gayish.
"...What's wrong with being gay?" YamaPi asked out of the blue.
"Well...nothing really. Why'd you ask?" Koyama said curious of why YamaPi asked that question.
"Well, that's because I've figured out that I really am gay." YamaPi said as if it was nothing.
- SILENCE -
"I think I need to clean my ears again..." Shige said after an awkward silence.
"Ore mo. I haven't cleaned my ears for...how many weeks actually?" Massu added causing Tegoshi to miss the
chair as he was just sitting down.
"That's the worst." Tegoshi said rubbing his hurt backside while eyeing Massu with disgust.
"That isn't a good joke P" Ryo said smiling to his friend.
"Sou. You do need to look for a good one..." Koyama added while patting YamaPi on the shoulder.
"JOKE??!?! Who said it was a joke? And why are you all so surprised? It's not as if it was a bad thing..."YamaPi said, pouting.
YamaPi's words earned another moment of awkward silence from the group which made the golden boy(-gay?) lose his patience.
"What's wrong? Really guys, you shouldn't be this surprised. Oh, I did found out something...again..." YamaPi said ignoring the shocked faces of his bandmates.
"...What is it?" Ryo had managed to ask despite of having a brain seizure due to YamaPi's sudden revelation.
"Eh?? You mean, you still haven't figured it out?" YamaPi asked, completely clueless about the things the other members are currently thinking about him after the 'revelation'.
"Just tell us what on earth it is." Ryo said still in dazed state.
"I'm not the only one in the group." YamaPi said shortly.
"Oh really, that's great then." Massu said not bothering to think first due to the (TMI) 'Too Much Information' virus.
- SILENCE -
"Ehhhh?!?!" Massu said after YamaPi's words finally dawned unto him.
"Ohgad.Somebody, wake me up from this nightmare" Koyama said slapping himself on the face.
"I repeat, why are you all so surpr---"
"With that eyes of yours, it's hard to tell when you're awake or not" Shige said ignoring YamaPi's question.
"Sore wa...dare desu ka?" Ryo said, his voice cracking slightly. He suspiciously eyed the other members as well as if saying that whoever that is will surely suffer a slow and painful death in the hands of the Sexy Osaka Man.
YamaPi shook his head slowly before pointing at the other guy standing beside Massu. He raised his head and wa about to say something when that someone suddenly protested.
"Boku desu ka?!?! Iie...iie...iie...Yamashita-kun, what's happening to you?"
"Eh?" YamaPi said blinking stupidly.
Tegoshi waved his arms in front of him when all the other guys turned their attention to him. He flinched when he saw Ryo in his 'ready-to-murder-any-minute-now' look.
"Tegoshi...Omae wa..."
"Sono koto ja nai yo!" Tesshi said stepping back and finally cornering himself. He backed away until he felt the chair at his back and sat there for his knees suddenly got weaker than ever.
"Yamashita-kun, what's this?!?" Tegoshi said looking at Pi who is still confused with everything even though it was him who started it all out.
Ryo reached his limit and finally took Tegoshi by his collar, dragging the younger boy out the room. But then, before he reach the door, YamaPi blocked him and tried to remove his hands from Tegoshi.
"Oi, oi,oi...Why are you so mad by the way? Ryo-chan, what's wrong with being gay? You hate it so much as if you're not like that at all..." YamaPi pouted, saying the last sentence in a low voice as if to remind his best friend of something.
If YamaPi's force haven't got any effect on Ryo's hand on Tesshi's collar, his statement surely did make up for it. It's as if an invisible force took Ryo's hand on Tegoshi before he dropped it on his side. All eyes in the room is now on the shorter guy whose staring at Yamashita as if it was his first time to see a human being.
"Eh? Nishikido-kun?Nishikido-kun, daijoubu desu ka?" Shige asked while maintaining a certain distance from Ryo--- afraid that the other boy will suddenly have an outburst.
"Tegoshi, come here" Koyama said while extending his arms to the 'still-in-shock-state' Tegoshi who was backed up to the wall beside the door. Tegoshi immediately ran to Koyama, burrying his face on the older man's chest.
"B-bo-boss-chan...ko-kowai..." Tegoshi said between sobs and hiccups. Koyama patted the boy's back in return to calm him from his near-death experience in the hands of Jack the Ripper.Japan version. Nishikido Ryo.
"Oi Ryo-chan, that was too harsh." Massu said after seeing Tegoshi being clamed down by Koyama. The guy in question didn't answer though. Ryo is still staring at YamaPi which made the other boy uncomefortable.
"Anou, Ryo-tan... Why are you looking at me like that?" YamaPi asked after reaching his limit at being 'stared down to death'.
"Nishikido-kun... Are you... Gay?" Shige's question seemted to wake up Ryo from his 'dazed state' awhile ago.
"Urusai!! I--I...I am..." Ryo said causing Shige to back up some more. Ryo sighed at this before continuing his sentence.
"I am not---"
--- Minna iru kai?... Hoshi wo mezashite ---
Everyone in the room blinked at this. YamaPi had this stupid look on his face; Massu seemed to be looking for something---which turned out to be his keitai; Tegoshi suddenly stopped sobbing; Koyama's brow rose; Shige took his cellphone from his back pocket and Ryo also took his phone from the table.
"Aah! It's mine..." Ryo said awkwardly before reading his mail.
The other boys watched as Ryo read his mail. Their brows rose even higher when they noticed that Ryo's getting paler as he read the whole message. Ryo then put his keitai on his pocket before turning back to the group to finish their discussion while ignoring the curious looks his bandmates are giving him.
"Ok minna, let's just forget about this stupid discussion. And if you're asking me if i'm gay then I'm---"
"Anou..."
"---Will you let me finish Kato-kun?!?" Ryo said irritably to the younger boy.
"Demo..." Shige started before looking down to his own feet.
"What's wrong, Shige?" Tegoshi asked with his big round eyes staring up at Shige. Again, completely forgetting about the honorofics promised. Shige made a mental note to confront Tegoshi about that after this. He couldn't do it right now. Not with those oh-so-absorbing-eyes staring up at him. He wondered if he'd have to blindfold Tegoshi before talking to him.
"I...also got a mail" Shige answered.
"What's up with it then?" YamaPi asked.
Instead of answering this, Shige took a deep breath before turning to his keitai and reading the mail aloud.
Hontou gomen ne if I wasn't able to go to your place last night. Something important suddenly came up. I hope you're not mad. If you are, then I feel sorry for the rest of NEWS. I'm sure they'll be experiencing what hell is like any time now. >_< But anyway, I wish you'd stop being too hot tempered.
Oh, I'll see you tomorrow night. I missed you so much, I ache. Haha... Do you still have that Shiver Cream from last time? That one is so great, I want to experience it again. Demo, the edible undies isn't bad either.
Ja, Nishikido-kun, I'll see you tomorrow night, eh? BTW, do want to have a threesome sometime? I think it'll be fun!
-Hiroki
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The whole room was silent after Shige read the mail that was sent to him. Ryo had his head bowed and is afraid to make eye contacts with the other guys. YamaPi however had his hand on his chin as if in deep thought.
"Does that mean... Uchi's asking you to join him and Ryo-tan so that you guys can have a threesome?!?" YamaPi asked after the never-ending silence.
"Ehhh!?!?!?!" Shige's jaw dropped at this.
"Nah... I think he must have sent it to you by mistake, Shige" Koyama said. Shige released a sigh of relief in return.
"What's a Shiver Cream by the way?" Tegoshi asked, completely lost.
Ryo seemed to get smaller than his usual built at Tegoshi's question while the other boys looked at Tegoshi as if saying that he's lucky he doesn't know about it so don't even bother to ask what it is.. He won't suffer the 'god-knows-it's-torture-to-even-imagine' consequences.
"To hell with Shiver Cream! I want to know if those edible undies tastes better than xiao long bao!" Massu said before turning to Ryo to ask his 'ever-innocent-food-related' question. He received a whack on the head from Koyama at this.
"Wakatta."
"Eh?" The whole NEWS turned to look at Ryo who seemed to regain his composure after the 'mail incident'. His face is still red though. Whether it's from shame and embarassment or fromhis excitement for tomorrow night, that we don't know.
"I'm not gay." Ryo said, his breathing labored.
"Ehh?" YamaPi said and was about to say something else when Ryo's next statement cut him off.
"I'm bi."
- SILENCE -
"Ehhhh?!?!Ch-chotto---"
"That pretty much explains it, then." Koyama said cutting off Yamapi's line. The latter pouted at being cut off for the second time.
"WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SO CALM, KOYAMA!?!?!" Shige roared at Koyama's ears causing the other guy to have a temporary case of deafness.
"I think it's better than having 3 gays in the group ne?" Massu said, now feasting at Tesshi's forgotten pudding[a/n:pls. refer to chapter 1. roflmao].
"What's bi?" Tegoshi asked. Ryo narrowed his eyes at this while Koyama and Shige sighed and bowed their heads in defeat.
"Anyway, before that...I'd like to clarify that I'm not gay!!!" Tegoshi said. While stomping his foot.He was also pouting. And he's not gay. His actions are not gayish at all. His actions are girly. They aren't gayish, OK?
"Chotto...."YamaPi tried to join in the conversation where he was always cut off. "May I speak now?" YamaPi continued after the whole group threw him a look.
"Anou...How did the conversation went from...gay to...bi to...shounen ai?"
"BA~KA!" Ryo said and gave YamaPi a knock on the head out of frustration.
"Demo Yamashita-kun, it all started when you said that you're gay." Shige said.
"Eh?" YamaPi said with the usual 'akira-is-innocent' look.
"Minna, should I beat the living daylights out of him?" Ryo said, his fist curled up while being held back by Shige and Koyama to stop him from taking their leader's life.
"The only thing I remembered saying is that I'm happy! A happy---jolly---'insert all adjectives synonymous to happy that you could think of in here'---person!" YamaPi said completely oblivious of the fact that he was about to be murdered by his best friend just a few seconds ago.
"I also said that Tegoshi is a jolly person too! I don't know what came over you guys though... What's wrong with being happy?" YamaPi said finally turning to the whole group, only to see them staring at him with their jaws on the ground. Massu looks pitiful with the pudding in his mouth and his jaw on the ground.
"Massu, daijoubu desu ka??" YamaPi asked.
"Masaka... When you said gay...you were referring to happy?" Shige asked, afraid of what their leader's answer would be.
"Un" YamaPi answered with a nod.
Koyama sat on the chair behind him. He just had to or else he'll fall and probably...break a bone or something. Massu on the other hand, finally fixed himself and was able to chew the pudding even though his mind is still not working properly due to TMI[a/n: refer to chapter one again.lol]. Tegoshi released a sigh of relief. He thought it was his end. He might look like a girl but he's definitely a guy. He made a mental note to act tougher so as not to be referred to as a girl.
They looked at one another before laughing their hearts out at their stupidity. Stupidity that led them into 'god-knows-what-it-is' kind of discussions. They stopped laughing though when they noticed that Ryo isn't joining them at all. Ryo was hurdled up at the corner of the room as if he was afraid of mingling with them but there's still a faint hint of his evilness in his eyes that made the other boys shiver.They're quite sure that boss-chan's evilness [despite his current state] was felt even in the most uncivilized,unknown place in the world.
"Ah!...What do bi stands for again?" Tegoshi asked. It seems as if he was the only one who didn't felt the 'atmosphere' in the room. Or it must have been that he was too self-centered to even notice it?
"Mou...YADAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"Ryo screamed at the top of his lungs before exiting the room and slamming the door behind him.
The 5 other guys bit there lip at this. Even though Ryo is not inside the room anymore, they're sure that he'll surely give 'em hell when he's back to his old self again.
Only thing is, it might even be more dangerous for them to approach him in his current state. Only God knows how a Psycho's Ryo's mind works. Add up hissudden revelation about being a bi, whoever person that approaches him will surely suffer the irreversible consequences of life.
"Anou...care to explain?" Tegoshi said turning to the other guys, still not letting the 'search-for-bi's-true-meaning' hunt down. He raised his brows when he saw that YamaPi,Massu,Kei-chan and Shige seemed to be more interested in their toenails,bags,fingers,whatever they have in front of them than answering his question.
Tegoshi pouted at this and left the room murmuring something about, "asking Nishikido-kun". In which, left the 4 other guys in the room no choice but to pray that Ryo be pardoned for his evil deeds and for Tegoshi's speedy beatification.
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. lol.gomen if it sux. I'll try writing a better one next time! thanks for reading. ^___^
- Hime. <3