proof-read a letter for me?
This letter is due tomorrow at 10:00am...could somebody proof-read it for me?
(The format is messed up from copying and pasting...printed out it looks like a normal letter, I promise...)
Jack García
195 S. Broadway
Apartment No. 2
Berea, KY 40403
Email: garciaja@berea.edu
05 February 2009
Dr. Katrina Rivers-Thompson
Berea College
CPO 1964
Berea, KY 40404
Dear Dr. Rivers-Thompson:
I was recently suspended from Berea College and later re-instated upon appeal. This suspension, along with the events in my life that led up to it, has served as a serious wake-up call for me. After various meetings with the distinguished members of the SAAS Committee, Director of Advising Dr. Mike Panciera, my counselor Ms. Ellen Burke, and many others, I have come to the firm conclusion that the academic major of Child and Family Studies is the place for me. Other factors influencing my decision are my recent experiences in my Short-Term class-for Short Term 2009 I was enrolled in GST 116: Introduction to Social Work (taught by Dr. Althea Webb), and this is solidified my interest in the helping professions. Besides these reasons, I also have nearly a quarter-century of personal life experiences that relate to the field of Child and Family Studies, growing up with a mentally ill and substance-abusing parent as I did. Also among my life experiences are my desire to ultimately earn my Master’s in Social Work (MSW) and work in direct practice with at-risk youths, plus my own academic dissatisfaction with and personal full and permanent renunciation of religion, the field in which I currently(awkwardly) find myself.
Hopefully I will be accepted into the CFS department and assigned an adviser within the department so that together we can discuss and formulate an academic plan and extension of terms request for submission to the SAAS Committee. I plan to concentrate in either Child Development or Family Studies (to be determined after I discuss the peculiarities of each with my new adviser) and succeed fully at Berea College as a CFS major. Please feel free to email me with any questions.
Sincerely,
Jack García
CC: SAAS Committee Chair
Dr. Mike Panciera
Dr. Althea Webb
Ms. Ellen Burke
Rev. Duane Smith (current adviser)
file
One thing that specifically bothers me -- should I insert the word "albeit" before "awkwardly" in the last paragraph?
(The format is messed up from copying and pasting...printed out it looks like a normal letter, I promise...)
Jack García
195 S. Broadway
Apartment No. 2
Berea, KY 40403
Email: garciaja@berea.edu
05 February 2009
Dr. Katrina Rivers-Thompson
Berea College
CPO 1964
Berea, KY 40404
Dear Dr. Rivers-Thompson:
I was recently suspended from Berea College and later re-instated upon appeal. This suspension, along with the events in my life that led up to it, has served as a serious wake-up call for me. After various meetings with the distinguished members of the SAAS Committee, Director of Advising Dr. Mike Panciera, my counselor Ms. Ellen Burke, and many others, I have come to the firm conclusion that the academic major of Child and Family Studies is the place for me. Other factors influencing my decision are my recent experiences in my Short-Term class-for Short Term 2009 I was enrolled in GST 116: Introduction to Social Work (taught by Dr. Althea Webb), and this is solidified my interest in the helping professions. Besides these reasons, I also have nearly a quarter-century of personal life experiences that relate to the field of Child and Family Studies, growing up with a mentally ill and substance-abusing parent as I did. Also among my life experiences are my desire to ultimately earn my Master’s in Social Work (MSW) and work in direct practice with at-risk youths, plus my own academic dissatisfaction with and personal full and permanent renunciation of religion, the field in which I currently(awkwardly) find myself.
Hopefully I will be accepted into the CFS department and assigned an adviser within the department so that together we can discuss and formulate an academic plan and extension of terms request for submission to the SAAS Committee. I plan to concentrate in either Child Development or Family Studies (to be determined after I discuss the peculiarities of each with my new adviser) and succeed fully at Berea College as a CFS major. Please feel free to email me with any questions.
Sincerely,
Jack García
CC: SAAS Committee Chair
Dr. Mike Panciera
Dr. Althea Webb
Ms. Ellen Burke
Rev. Duane Smith (current adviser)
file
One thing that specifically bothers me -- should I insert the word "albeit" before "awkwardly" in the last paragraph?