so it's 4am. i should be asleep. but i went to bed so early that i can't sleep now. i was damn exhausted. and i have to be up at 6:30. i'd rather be sleeping now. lj and i have grown apart. so 4am seems like as good a time as any to update. it's not a real update though. just me trying to wear myself out. i think not being asleep when i should be
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