"For Choices" Chpt 4 (Gilmore Girls)
Here you are! We are skipping some time when the next chapter begins...you'll probably gather where I'll be skipping to as you read. ;) Enjoy! And please do review; it helps so much and I love you all. Thanks! :)
Chapter 4
Dean gave something between a smile and a grimace and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Hi...Rory.”
She tried not to openly gape, and barely succeeded. “It's been a while.”
“It sure has,” he conceded.
She cleared her throat and glanced over her shoulder at the church, as if just remembering why they were-both, obviously-there. “So what are you...?”
“Apparently this whole thing was all over town,” he explained. “My mom mentioned it offhand in an e-mail and...I thought I should try to come, I guess. I mean, I've known Lorelai about as long as I've known you, and she was always, you know, nice...”
Even after everything that had happened, he meant. What they'd done. Rory supposed that was true. Lorelai had attempted to put her misgiviungs aside and make Dean comfortable in their lives again until the very end. Farther back than that, she'd always maintained friendly contact whether Rory had been with him at the time or not.
Rory didn't like to think about it that way, but her mother had probably been a better friend to Dean than she ever had-when the going got tough, anyway. Which was what counted.
She had to swallow before she could answer. “Right. Yeah. I understand. I'm glad you could make it, then...” It was hollow, what she should say. She didn't know what she wanted to say. She was having trouble sorting through her thoughts at the moment, and it wasn't only the emotional ambiguity, either.
Dean was a man now. That much was certain, at least physically. He'd filled out the lanky frame, and the teenage gangliness was gone forever. The suit wasn't expensive, but it made him look better than anything he'd ever worn in the past. It didn't hang off of him, like everything had back then. It fit him. Then again, he'd been something of a string bean in the past too. He'd begun to grow out of it the last time she'd seen him, nearly five years ago, and more time had aided him well in that respect. He'd been cute then, undeniably cute, but now he was-
Rory stopped those thoughts before they could get any farther. This was not the time, and...she had no right to them anymore.
“Thanks,” he answered, almost as tonelessly as she. Then it was his turn to swallow, and his voice returned with more feeling. “Look, I'm sorry...I didn't want to show up and make things weird for you. That's why I tried to stay out of sight.”
She jumped at the opportunity to animate the conversation. “And just how did you manage to do that by the way? How do you keep six-feet-four-inches of anything out of sight in that church for an hour?”
In the past he would have laughed out loud, but now Dean only smiled a little, and looked unsure as to wehether or not he should have been doing that.
Why did that hurt?
He shrugged. “Well I doubt anyone was looking for me.”
“True...”
“So uh...how are you doing? I heard about your getting that campaign job, but beyond that...”
He'd heard about that? How? Was that through his parents, too? How well was he getting along with his parents anyway? How was he period? All things she wanted to know, but couldn't just ask.
“Nothing new. That job's over, and I'm home right now. I'm looking for another one. I'd like to get a job at an actual paper, seeing as the other job was only an online publication and all. I mean it was great, but-“
“You need to get your career moving.”
“Right. At least I hope I can...”
It had slipped out before she meant it to, the insecurity. She hadn't told anyone about that, and here she was seeing Dean for the first time in years and she'd just-
Oh god, what was wrong with her?
His eyebrows went up. “I'm sure you'll do fine,” he said earnestly. “You'll find something.”
“I hope so. It may take time though.” She crossed her arms and shrugged, forcing herself not to stare at the ground. “But I've got home here. I'll be fine.”
Dean smiled again, but there was pain in it this time. “Yeah.”
Damnit. The intention had been to assure him she would be all right, not to hurt him. But it had, somehow. Rory winced and chewed the inside of her lip, searching for something else to say.
She hadn't seen Dean since he'd driven away five years ago, from her grandparents' house. Well, she'd seen him...from afar-through the front window of Doose's, or down the street working a job for Tom. But they had only made eye contact a handful of times, quite by accident, and they hadn't said a word to each other. That was when she caught glimpses of him at all. Then, her senior year at Yale, he'd disappeared altogether, finally off to college again, and she'd thought that would be the end of it.
“What about you?” she asked finally. “I heard you went back to Southern Connecticut State.”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “New Haven's not far, but it's...away. I saved and applied for financial aid until I had enough to get a dorm when I left. I found a couple of jobs over there and I just kind of stayed.” Because it was easier than being here. He didn't have to say the rest for her to hear it.
“School, then. How's that going?”
“Good, I guess,” he nodded. “I'm not quite a straight-A student, but I'm higher on the curve than I was in high school, if that's what you mean.”
“I didn't really mean anything, I-I was just-“
“It's okay.”
Rory let out a breath. “Anything else interesting?” Why was she still asking questions? It should have been yes, they were both fine, see you later. It was the way people who hadn't seen each other in a long time and didn't really speak did things.
But they were both still standing there, and she knew Jess couldn't hear them and maybe he wasn't even watching, but he was back there somewhere waiting for her, and...
“Not really,” Dean answered. “Not much happens these days; school, work, homework...” He didn't look quite as tense as he had when she'd first caught up to him, but he was by no means relaxed, either. Maybe he was trying to put forth a front of looking like it, but it wasn't fooling her.
That, and right now she knew he was hiding something.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
Rory looked at him for a long moment, and realized that suddenly he seemed like he wanted to bolt. “Girlfriend?” she asked quietly.
He winced involuntarily. “Not exactly. It's nothing serious yet.”
But yet implied that there could be, and now why the hell did that bother her?
“Oh...well, good luck then....I mean in school, too.”
“Thanks. Best wishes on the job hunting...”
“Thanks.”
Yes, they were both still standing there, but the conversation was still unbearably basic. What else could they say to each other though? He was there, and she was here, and maybe with Jess friendship was possible, but that just wasn't going to happen here too, was it? There was too much bad. Too much of the wrong type of bad. That was why she'd never tracked him down. She'd known just where to look for him, but she'd never called. She'd thought it was finally just too much. There couldn't be anything there if there couldn't be everything. She'd thought she'd be fine, eventually, even if she never saw him again.
She had been fine, too. She was fine...but having Dean standing right here in front of her made her realize that she wanted to see him. She didn't know why-just for the sake of the past, or otherwise-but she wanted to, at least as much as she wanted to make certain Jess didn't disappear, either.
Dean glanced over his shoulder, then down at his watch. “Rory, I should probably go; I have a class later this afternoon.”
“Class! Right, it's Monday. God you didn't skip classes to come, did you?”
He smiled a bit at her energetic reaction. “One, but don't worry about it.”
“Are you sure?”
“It's not a big deal.” He began to take a few steps backward to go.
“Dean, wait.” He paused and looked at her, waiting for her to speak. Her hands twisted together in front of her, because she didn't know what else to do with with them. “Do you...have an e-mail address? Or a number, or...something?” She couldn't be sure she would use either if she had them, but she had to ask. She couldn't just let him leave. It seemed wrong.
He opened his mouth as if to answer, but closed it again and seemed to think twice. “Rory, I...I don't know if that's...”
He didn't think it was a good idea. He didn't want to give them to her. It hurt, but Rory swallowed her pride and tried hard to accept it. “Never mind. I'm glad you're doing all right.”
“You too.” At least that much seemed sincere. Dean looked away for a moment and shrugged. “If you don't want to tell Luke and Lorelai I was here, you don't have to...but if you do, tell them congratulations for me?”
Rory nodded mechanically. “I will. I'll tell them.”
“Thanks...” He sighed and started to turn away again. “Goodbye, Rory.”
“Bye, Dean.”
He looked at her before he really turned-really looked at her. It seemed like maybe he wanted to say something else.
Don't tell me I look good, don't tell me I look good, don't tell me I look good...
She didn't want to hear that again.
“I'm coming home this summer,” he offered finally.
Rory blinked. “You are?”
“I haven't really been back since I left, and every summer Clara begs me to stay at home for at least a little while, but I haven't. I guess it's just time. Maybe I'll see you around.”
“Yeah. Sure. Maybe.” She hoped so. Or at least she thought she did.
Then Dean waved and walked away.
Rory couldn't watch him leave, so instead she turned on her heel and fled back to the church as fast as she could go without looking like she was fleeing. Just in case.
Jess wasn't under the tree where she'd left him, and she circled the church twice but found no sign. With no other option she headed for, and found him halfway there, poking along at the pace of a sad snail.
“Jess?”
“What was he doing here?”
She let out a breath and fell in beside him. “I'm not clear on that myself.” Jess only snorted, but didn't say anything. He sped up to a normal pace and she walked beside him anxiously, wondering if something as simple as this was going to set them back.
“I'm not mad,” he said finally.
Rory smirked. “You would have been before. Even though it's no one's fault that he just decided to come-and for my mother's sake, not mine-you still would have been.”
“Seven or eight years ago, yeah,” he admitted. “That was when I didn't know there would be no point. You go after what you want; it doesn't matter what the rest of us do.”
Well, that stung a bit. “He has a girlfriend,” she answered defensively.
“That's not what I meant-not about right now...” He grimaced. “Sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. “
Her jaw worked, because she knew what he meant. But she cross her arms again, tightly around herself, and let it go. The past was the past, and she couldn't change her mistakes or her choices now.
They walked in silence for several minutes.
“Hey, if it diffuses the awkwardness any, we're related now,” she pointed out finally.
“Only by marriage, so not technically.”
“No, but if you don't want to be technical about it, I am now your first cousin.”
Jess raised an eyebrow. “Not helping; that's even weirder.”
Rory laughed weakly and looked up to catch a flash of yellow, the inn in the distance. “We're almost there.”
“I noticed.”
They both stopped just short of the clearing, the inn's drive, and she looked at him. “Are we still good?”
“I don't see any reason why we wouldn't be; unless you're mad at me for that admittedsly uncalled-for crack back there.”
She looked at him for a moment, and believed that he really was sorry.
Even if what he'd said had held some truth.
“No. I'm not angry. We're good,” she promised.
“Great.” He motioned through the last of the shrubbery to the inn and the commotion bursting from within. The doors were open, tables and guests were set up out in the circle drive, and music blared through the doors and windows from the front room. The party had taken over the place, but it wasn't at all unpleasant. “After you.”
The only thing that made Lorelai happier was when her daughter finally appeared at the reception.
“Where have you been! We had to hold off on all the traditional mumbo-jumbo until you got here,” she complained smilingly.
Rory hugged her tightly. “Sorry, Mom. I walked, and before that I got a little held up back at the church.”
“Everything all right?”
She nodded quickly. “Yeah, everything's fine.” maybe the answer was a little too quick, but she seemed all right and Lorelai was in no frame of mind to pshyco-analyze her now. “You sure?”
“I'm sure! Let's party,” she grinned.
“Agreed.” The space between the tables was being used as a dance floor, and Luke pulled himself and his sister out to greet Rory and Jess. Liz dragged her son back out into the middle and Luke chuckled and offered a hand to Rory.
“Well, since my own sister abandoned me...”
“I'll dance with you, Luke,” she finished gallantly.
“You'd better do it while you can; if I have it my way I will never dance like this again.”
Lorelai smirked. “Don't count on it, honey. We're married now. You have to keep me haaaapy, and to keep me happy you have to take me dancing.”
Luke rolled his eyes and stole a quick kiss from his snarky wife before Rory took his proffered hand and they both hurried off-possibly to get away from her, though only in the most playful of ways, of course.
Sookie was at her side in a moment. “Oh, Lorelai, this is so perfect,” she sighed excitedly. “You and Luke are going to be so happy, and he loves Rory to death, and it's just...perfect! It'd only be more perfect if you had your own. Oh, are you going to? Have you talked about that yet?”
“Whoa, slow down Sookie. I got married all of an hour ago.” There was that subject again. Why couldn't anyone just leave it alone?
“I'm sorry, really, but these kinds of things just get me so excited for the future, and...well, you know me.”
“Yes, dear, I know you,” Lorelai smiled.
Sookie dropped it there, and the crisis was averted...almost. It was too late; now she was thinking about it. Because they hadn't talked about it again. Not at all, really, since that night after their first engagement. That seemed so long ago now. She had no idea what Luke wanted now, and she wasn't even sure what she wanted.
But they could worry about that later. For now she had her daughter home, and she had Luke. She had all of Luke, and that was more than enough.
Since Luke and Lorelai weren't heading out in his boat until the next morning, they had reserved the best room at the inn for themselves that night to avoid having to kick Rory out of her own house for a night. The end result was that Rory had the house to herself, and she would for the next couple of weeks.
That would be good. Very conducive to working and getting out more resumes. The more she sent out, the more chance she had of finding a job closer to home-which she wanted, at least for now. Maybe the adventurous young woman in her wanted to get out and away, and someday she would...but the mama's girl in her was winning as of now. What was the harm in that, anyway? She could be out and on her own and still close enough to home to not feel disconnected.
That was what she'd achieved by going to Yale 23 miles away. If she'd done it then, she could do it now.
Rory was up late, too happy for her mother and Luke to avoid being drawn to watch romantic old movies on the flatscreen in the living room until the wee hours. She fell asleep on the couch remembering the look on Dean's face before he left.
She woke with a jolt the next morning to a knock on the door, and padded in her pajama pants and tank top to the front door to find Jess on the other side. The sun streamed in brightly from behind him. “Ugh...what time is it?” she mumbled.
“You have half an hour until we have to meet Luke and Lorelai at the inn to send them off.”
Rory snapped around, looking for a clock and realizing they didn't have one in the entryway. “What! Oh no; I overslept.”
“Stayed up late watching old movies?”
She glared at him, but sighed after a moment and opened the door farther. “You can wait in the living room; I'll be back.” With that she retreated to her room, dressed, and ran upstairs to the bathroom to take care of business and do something with her hair. Luckily she'd washed it before the wedding just the morning before, and it looked fine half up.
By the time she made it back downstairs, where Jess was leaning against the back of the couch, they had less than ten minutes before Luke and Lorelai were expecting them. “Come on; we'll take my car.” It would have to be backed out of the garage where it had been sitting-except for the longer breaks-for almost two years, but it was otherwise recently gassed up and ready to go. Luke had made sure of that before she got home.
Luke and Lorelai were out at the front of the inn when they arrived, dressed in jeans for the road and with Luke's truck packed. They had already said goodbye to everyone else the night before; Rory and Jess were the only two here this morning.
Lorelai quietly asked if Rory was all right, because apparently she'd seen something a bit off with her daughter when she'd shown up at the reception the day before, but Rory assured her that it was nothing. There was no reason to tell her about Dean just yet; maybe that was a little too much to think or be curious about over a honeymoon
“Take care of yourselves, you guys,” Rory made them promise as she hugged them both.
“Have fun while we're gone,” Lorelai instructed. “Maybe you can break down and finally have that wild party at the house.”
“I'll see what I can do.”
Luke smirked. “Keep an eye on Caesar for me.”
“Oh, you bet. I'll need my coffee every morning, after all.” She hugged her mother again, as tightly as she could. “I'm so proud of you,” she whispered.
“Hey, who's the mom here?” Lorelai whispered back in amusement. Then she was serious again. “Thanks for everything, kid.”
Rory kissed her mother on the cheek, and Lorelai returned the gesture before she finally let go and latched an arm around her husband's waist.
“Time to get moving, oh gorgeous one,” she announced.
Luke turned to return the embrace. “Oh, so I'm gorgeous now, too?”
“I wouldn't have married you if you weren't pretty.”
“Uh huh.” He probably would have kissed her, but it Jess complained.
“Seriously, guys, save it for the trip.” Rory smothered a grin as they finally conceded and climbed into the truck, Lorelai waving until they were out of sight.
Rory dropped her own arm as Jess spoke up. “That's my cue.”
“What?”
He pulled a plane ticket from his pocket. “My turn. I've got a flight out in four hours.”
She blinked at him. “So soon?”
“Hey, when I booked this as soon as I heard about the wedding, I didn't know you'd even be talking to me,” he answered.
“Can't you change it? You could hang around a few days.”
He sighed. “It's the middle of the season, Rory. I've got to get back to Philly; we have work to do at the press, I have to get around to promote that second book...It's not perfect, but it's better, and I'm trying to get it a couple of chain stores this time. Smaller ones, but chain stores nontheless.”
“That would be good...” she admitted.
“Yes, it would. But hey...I'll call.”
Rory stared at him hard for a moment. “You promise you'll call? A friend's not worth much if they never call.”
“I'll call,” Jess insisted.
It took another moment to decide to do it, but she hugged him too. He returned it. “You'd better,” she said firmly. She sighed and let go of him. “Let's go get your stuff; I'll take you to the airport.”
“You don't have to do that; I made sure I had money for a cab on the way back.”
“Well while I'm here and I have a car I'm not going to let you spend that money,” Rory insisted.
“Only if you're sure you don't mind taking me.”
She gave him a look. “You know, I would be a much happier person as of late if people would stop asking whether I'm sure about things or not,” she answered lightly.
Jess shrugged. “All right, all right,” he laughed. “Let's go.”
“Yes, let's.”
Chapter 4
Dean gave something between a smile and a grimace and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Hi...Rory.”
She tried not to openly gape, and barely succeeded. “It's been a while.”
“It sure has,” he conceded.
She cleared her throat and glanced over her shoulder at the church, as if just remembering why they were-both, obviously-there. “So what are you...?”
“Apparently this whole thing was all over town,” he explained. “My mom mentioned it offhand in an e-mail and...I thought I should try to come, I guess. I mean, I've known Lorelai about as long as I've known you, and she was always, you know, nice...”
Even after everything that had happened, he meant. What they'd done. Rory supposed that was true. Lorelai had attempted to put her misgiviungs aside and make Dean comfortable in their lives again until the very end. Farther back than that, she'd always maintained friendly contact whether Rory had been with him at the time or not.
Rory didn't like to think about it that way, but her mother had probably been a better friend to Dean than she ever had-when the going got tough, anyway. Which was what counted.
She had to swallow before she could answer. “Right. Yeah. I understand. I'm glad you could make it, then...” It was hollow, what she should say. She didn't know what she wanted to say. She was having trouble sorting through her thoughts at the moment, and it wasn't only the emotional ambiguity, either.
Dean was a man now. That much was certain, at least physically. He'd filled out the lanky frame, and the teenage gangliness was gone forever. The suit wasn't expensive, but it made him look better than anything he'd ever worn in the past. It didn't hang off of him, like everything had back then. It fit him. Then again, he'd been something of a string bean in the past too. He'd begun to grow out of it the last time she'd seen him, nearly five years ago, and more time had aided him well in that respect. He'd been cute then, undeniably cute, but now he was-
Rory stopped those thoughts before they could get any farther. This was not the time, and...she had no right to them anymore.
“Thanks,” he answered, almost as tonelessly as she. Then it was his turn to swallow, and his voice returned with more feeling. “Look, I'm sorry...I didn't want to show up and make things weird for you. That's why I tried to stay out of sight.”
She jumped at the opportunity to animate the conversation. “And just how did you manage to do that by the way? How do you keep six-feet-four-inches of anything out of sight in that church for an hour?”
In the past he would have laughed out loud, but now Dean only smiled a little, and looked unsure as to wehether or not he should have been doing that.
Why did that hurt?
He shrugged. “Well I doubt anyone was looking for me.”
“True...”
“So uh...how are you doing? I heard about your getting that campaign job, but beyond that...”
He'd heard about that? How? Was that through his parents, too? How well was he getting along with his parents anyway? How was he period? All things she wanted to know, but couldn't just ask.
“Nothing new. That job's over, and I'm home right now. I'm looking for another one. I'd like to get a job at an actual paper, seeing as the other job was only an online publication and all. I mean it was great, but-“
“You need to get your career moving.”
“Right. At least I hope I can...”
It had slipped out before she meant it to, the insecurity. She hadn't told anyone about that, and here she was seeing Dean for the first time in years and she'd just-
Oh god, what was wrong with her?
His eyebrows went up. “I'm sure you'll do fine,” he said earnestly. “You'll find something.”
“I hope so. It may take time though.” She crossed her arms and shrugged, forcing herself not to stare at the ground. “But I've got home here. I'll be fine.”
Dean smiled again, but there was pain in it this time. “Yeah.”
Damnit. The intention had been to assure him she would be all right, not to hurt him. But it had, somehow. Rory winced and chewed the inside of her lip, searching for something else to say.
She hadn't seen Dean since he'd driven away five years ago, from her grandparents' house. Well, she'd seen him...from afar-through the front window of Doose's, or down the street working a job for Tom. But they had only made eye contact a handful of times, quite by accident, and they hadn't said a word to each other. That was when she caught glimpses of him at all. Then, her senior year at Yale, he'd disappeared altogether, finally off to college again, and she'd thought that would be the end of it.
“What about you?” she asked finally. “I heard you went back to Southern Connecticut State.”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “New Haven's not far, but it's...away. I saved and applied for financial aid until I had enough to get a dorm when I left. I found a couple of jobs over there and I just kind of stayed.” Because it was easier than being here. He didn't have to say the rest for her to hear it.
“School, then. How's that going?”
“Good, I guess,” he nodded. “I'm not quite a straight-A student, but I'm higher on the curve than I was in high school, if that's what you mean.”
“I didn't really mean anything, I-I was just-“
“It's okay.”
Rory let out a breath. “Anything else interesting?” Why was she still asking questions? It should have been yes, they were both fine, see you later. It was the way people who hadn't seen each other in a long time and didn't really speak did things.
But they were both still standing there, and she knew Jess couldn't hear them and maybe he wasn't even watching, but he was back there somewhere waiting for her, and...
“Not really,” Dean answered. “Not much happens these days; school, work, homework...” He didn't look quite as tense as he had when she'd first caught up to him, but he was by no means relaxed, either. Maybe he was trying to put forth a front of looking like it, but it wasn't fooling her.
That, and right now she knew he was hiding something.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
Rory looked at him for a long moment, and realized that suddenly he seemed like he wanted to bolt. “Girlfriend?” she asked quietly.
He winced involuntarily. “Not exactly. It's nothing serious yet.”
But yet implied that there could be, and now why the hell did that bother her?
“Oh...well, good luck then....I mean in school, too.”
“Thanks. Best wishes on the job hunting...”
“Thanks.”
Yes, they were both still standing there, but the conversation was still unbearably basic. What else could they say to each other though? He was there, and she was here, and maybe with Jess friendship was possible, but that just wasn't going to happen here too, was it? There was too much bad. Too much of the wrong type of bad. That was why she'd never tracked him down. She'd known just where to look for him, but she'd never called. She'd thought it was finally just too much. There couldn't be anything there if there couldn't be everything. She'd thought she'd be fine, eventually, even if she never saw him again.
She had been fine, too. She was fine...but having Dean standing right here in front of her made her realize that she wanted to see him. She didn't know why-just for the sake of the past, or otherwise-but she wanted to, at least as much as she wanted to make certain Jess didn't disappear, either.
Dean glanced over his shoulder, then down at his watch. “Rory, I should probably go; I have a class later this afternoon.”
“Class! Right, it's Monday. God you didn't skip classes to come, did you?”
He smiled a bit at her energetic reaction. “One, but don't worry about it.”
“Are you sure?”
“It's not a big deal.” He began to take a few steps backward to go.
“Dean, wait.” He paused and looked at her, waiting for her to speak. Her hands twisted together in front of her, because she didn't know what else to do with with them. “Do you...have an e-mail address? Or a number, or...something?” She couldn't be sure she would use either if she had them, but she had to ask. She couldn't just let him leave. It seemed wrong.
He opened his mouth as if to answer, but closed it again and seemed to think twice. “Rory, I...I don't know if that's...”
He didn't think it was a good idea. He didn't want to give them to her. It hurt, but Rory swallowed her pride and tried hard to accept it. “Never mind. I'm glad you're doing all right.”
“You too.” At least that much seemed sincere. Dean looked away for a moment and shrugged. “If you don't want to tell Luke and Lorelai I was here, you don't have to...but if you do, tell them congratulations for me?”
Rory nodded mechanically. “I will. I'll tell them.”
“Thanks...” He sighed and started to turn away again. “Goodbye, Rory.”
“Bye, Dean.”
He looked at her before he really turned-really looked at her. It seemed like maybe he wanted to say something else.
Don't tell me I look good, don't tell me I look good, don't tell me I look good...
She didn't want to hear that again.
“I'm coming home this summer,” he offered finally.
Rory blinked. “You are?”
“I haven't really been back since I left, and every summer Clara begs me to stay at home for at least a little while, but I haven't. I guess it's just time. Maybe I'll see you around.”
“Yeah. Sure. Maybe.” She hoped so. Or at least she thought she did.
Then Dean waved and walked away.
Rory couldn't watch him leave, so instead she turned on her heel and fled back to the church as fast as she could go without looking like she was fleeing. Just in case.
Jess wasn't under the tree where she'd left him, and she circled the church twice but found no sign. With no other option she headed for, and found him halfway there, poking along at the pace of a sad snail.
“Jess?”
“What was he doing here?”
She let out a breath and fell in beside him. “I'm not clear on that myself.” Jess only snorted, but didn't say anything. He sped up to a normal pace and she walked beside him anxiously, wondering if something as simple as this was going to set them back.
“I'm not mad,” he said finally.
Rory smirked. “You would have been before. Even though it's no one's fault that he just decided to come-and for my mother's sake, not mine-you still would have been.”
“Seven or eight years ago, yeah,” he admitted. “That was when I didn't know there would be no point. You go after what you want; it doesn't matter what the rest of us do.”
Well, that stung a bit. “He has a girlfriend,” she answered defensively.
“That's not what I meant-not about right now...” He grimaced. “Sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. “
Her jaw worked, because she knew what he meant. But she cross her arms again, tightly around herself, and let it go. The past was the past, and she couldn't change her mistakes or her choices now.
They walked in silence for several minutes.
“Hey, if it diffuses the awkwardness any, we're related now,” she pointed out finally.
“Only by marriage, so not technically.”
“No, but if you don't want to be technical about it, I am now your first cousin.”
Jess raised an eyebrow. “Not helping; that's even weirder.”
Rory laughed weakly and looked up to catch a flash of yellow, the inn in the distance. “We're almost there.”
“I noticed.”
They both stopped just short of the clearing, the inn's drive, and she looked at him. “Are we still good?”
“I don't see any reason why we wouldn't be; unless you're mad at me for that admittedsly uncalled-for crack back there.”
She looked at him for a moment, and believed that he really was sorry.
Even if what he'd said had held some truth.
“No. I'm not angry. We're good,” she promised.
“Great.” He motioned through the last of the shrubbery to the inn and the commotion bursting from within. The doors were open, tables and guests were set up out in the circle drive, and music blared through the doors and windows from the front room. The party had taken over the place, but it wasn't at all unpleasant. “After you.”
The only thing that made Lorelai happier was when her daughter finally appeared at the reception.
“Where have you been! We had to hold off on all the traditional mumbo-jumbo until you got here,” she complained smilingly.
Rory hugged her tightly. “Sorry, Mom. I walked, and before that I got a little held up back at the church.”
“Everything all right?”
She nodded quickly. “Yeah, everything's fine.” maybe the answer was a little too quick, but she seemed all right and Lorelai was in no frame of mind to pshyco-analyze her now. “You sure?”
“I'm sure! Let's party,” she grinned.
“Agreed.” The space between the tables was being used as a dance floor, and Luke pulled himself and his sister out to greet Rory and Jess. Liz dragged her son back out into the middle and Luke chuckled and offered a hand to Rory.
“Well, since my own sister abandoned me...”
“I'll dance with you, Luke,” she finished gallantly.
“You'd better do it while you can; if I have it my way I will never dance like this again.”
Lorelai smirked. “Don't count on it, honey. We're married now. You have to keep me haaaapy, and to keep me happy you have to take me dancing.”
Luke rolled his eyes and stole a quick kiss from his snarky wife before Rory took his proffered hand and they both hurried off-possibly to get away from her, though only in the most playful of ways, of course.
Sookie was at her side in a moment. “Oh, Lorelai, this is so perfect,” she sighed excitedly. “You and Luke are going to be so happy, and he loves Rory to death, and it's just...perfect! It'd only be more perfect if you had your own. Oh, are you going to? Have you talked about that yet?”
“Whoa, slow down Sookie. I got married all of an hour ago.” There was that subject again. Why couldn't anyone just leave it alone?
“I'm sorry, really, but these kinds of things just get me so excited for the future, and...well, you know me.”
“Yes, dear, I know you,” Lorelai smiled.
Sookie dropped it there, and the crisis was averted...almost. It was too late; now she was thinking about it. Because they hadn't talked about it again. Not at all, really, since that night after their first engagement. That seemed so long ago now. She had no idea what Luke wanted now, and she wasn't even sure what she wanted.
But they could worry about that later. For now she had her daughter home, and she had Luke. She had all of Luke, and that was more than enough.
Since Luke and Lorelai weren't heading out in his boat until the next morning, they had reserved the best room at the inn for themselves that night to avoid having to kick Rory out of her own house for a night. The end result was that Rory had the house to herself, and she would for the next couple of weeks.
That would be good. Very conducive to working and getting out more resumes. The more she sent out, the more chance she had of finding a job closer to home-which she wanted, at least for now. Maybe the adventurous young woman in her wanted to get out and away, and someday she would...but the mama's girl in her was winning as of now. What was the harm in that, anyway? She could be out and on her own and still close enough to home to not feel disconnected.
That was what she'd achieved by going to Yale 23 miles away. If she'd done it then, she could do it now.
Rory was up late, too happy for her mother and Luke to avoid being drawn to watch romantic old movies on the flatscreen in the living room until the wee hours. She fell asleep on the couch remembering the look on Dean's face before he left.
She woke with a jolt the next morning to a knock on the door, and padded in her pajama pants and tank top to the front door to find Jess on the other side. The sun streamed in brightly from behind him. “Ugh...what time is it?” she mumbled.
“You have half an hour until we have to meet Luke and Lorelai at the inn to send them off.”
Rory snapped around, looking for a clock and realizing they didn't have one in the entryway. “What! Oh no; I overslept.”
“Stayed up late watching old movies?”
She glared at him, but sighed after a moment and opened the door farther. “You can wait in the living room; I'll be back.” With that she retreated to her room, dressed, and ran upstairs to the bathroom to take care of business and do something with her hair. Luckily she'd washed it before the wedding just the morning before, and it looked fine half up.
By the time she made it back downstairs, where Jess was leaning against the back of the couch, they had less than ten minutes before Luke and Lorelai were expecting them. “Come on; we'll take my car.” It would have to be backed out of the garage where it had been sitting-except for the longer breaks-for almost two years, but it was otherwise recently gassed up and ready to go. Luke had made sure of that before she got home.
Luke and Lorelai were out at the front of the inn when they arrived, dressed in jeans for the road and with Luke's truck packed. They had already said goodbye to everyone else the night before; Rory and Jess were the only two here this morning.
Lorelai quietly asked if Rory was all right, because apparently she'd seen something a bit off with her daughter when she'd shown up at the reception the day before, but Rory assured her that it was nothing. There was no reason to tell her about Dean just yet; maybe that was a little too much to think or be curious about over a honeymoon
“Take care of yourselves, you guys,” Rory made them promise as she hugged them both.
“Have fun while we're gone,” Lorelai instructed. “Maybe you can break down and finally have that wild party at the house.”
“I'll see what I can do.”
Luke smirked. “Keep an eye on Caesar for me.”
“Oh, you bet. I'll need my coffee every morning, after all.” She hugged her mother again, as tightly as she could. “I'm so proud of you,” she whispered.
“Hey, who's the mom here?” Lorelai whispered back in amusement. Then she was serious again. “Thanks for everything, kid.”
Rory kissed her mother on the cheek, and Lorelai returned the gesture before she finally let go and latched an arm around her husband's waist.
“Time to get moving, oh gorgeous one,” she announced.
Luke turned to return the embrace. “Oh, so I'm gorgeous now, too?”
“I wouldn't have married you if you weren't pretty.”
“Uh huh.” He probably would have kissed her, but it Jess complained.
“Seriously, guys, save it for the trip.” Rory smothered a grin as they finally conceded and climbed into the truck, Lorelai waving until they were out of sight.
Rory dropped her own arm as Jess spoke up. “That's my cue.”
“What?”
He pulled a plane ticket from his pocket. “My turn. I've got a flight out in four hours.”
She blinked at him. “So soon?”
“Hey, when I booked this as soon as I heard about the wedding, I didn't know you'd even be talking to me,” he answered.
“Can't you change it? You could hang around a few days.”
He sighed. “It's the middle of the season, Rory. I've got to get back to Philly; we have work to do at the press, I have to get around to promote that second book...It's not perfect, but it's better, and I'm trying to get it a couple of chain stores this time. Smaller ones, but chain stores nontheless.”
“That would be good...” she admitted.
“Yes, it would. But hey...I'll call.”
Rory stared at him hard for a moment. “You promise you'll call? A friend's not worth much if they never call.”
“I'll call,” Jess insisted.
It took another moment to decide to do it, but she hugged him too. He returned it. “You'd better,” she said firmly. She sighed and let go of him. “Let's go get your stuff; I'll take you to the airport.”
“You don't have to do that; I made sure I had money for a cab on the way back.”
“Well while I'm here and I have a car I'm not going to let you spend that money,” Rory insisted.
“Only if you're sure you don't mind taking me.”
She gave him a look. “You know, I would be a much happier person as of late if people would stop asking whether I'm sure about things or not,” she answered lightly.
Jess shrugged. “All right, all right,” he laughed. “Let's go.”
“Yes, let's.”