Fic: You Forgave, and I Won't Forget (15/20)
Title: You Forgave, and I Won't Forget
Author: cgkm2099z
Pairing: Jeff/Annie
Spoilers: 6.02
Rating: PG
Warning None
Word Count: 8,665
Disclaimer: I do not own Community. Community, and its characters, are the creation of the great Dan Harmon. I think it's still owned by Sony Pictures Television, but after the hack, I'm not so sure. The title is ( Read more... )
Author: cgkm2099z
Pairing: Jeff/Annie
Spoilers: 6.02
Rating: PG
Warning None
Word Count: 8,665
Disclaimer: I do not own Community. Community, and its characters, are the creation of the great Dan Harmon. I think it's still owned by Sony Pictures Television, but after the hack, I'm not so sure. The title is ( Read more... )
Comments 13
more in depth review later.
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( ... )
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awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Ok fine :P.
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Hahaha, PERFECT.
I love Jeff and Annie's easy togetherness in this chapter, and the fact that everyone basically knew they were together already.
He held her gaze, trying to think of a way to succinctly mouth “It’s killing me too, but I love you and I’m here for you.” What Jeff didn’t realize was that the look on his face had said all that and more.
I loved that.
Annie's excited, "We're dating! He's my boyfriend. I have a boyfriend. It's Jeff!" cracked me up. I could hear Annie saying it, all rapid-fire and happy, bouncing in her seat a little. :-) And then Jeff asking her how long she'd been holding that in, and her telling him, "Five years."
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Heh, when I started writing this, I decided I wanted to do a Terminator homage using paintball, and I was like "oh, that works great, the machines against the Greendale human beings." lol
I loved that.
Thank you!!
Annie's excited, "We're dating! He's my boyfriend. I have a boyfriend. It's Jeff!" cracked me up. I could hear Annie saying it, all rapid-fire and happy, bouncing in her seat a little. :-) And then Jeff asking her how long she'd been holding that in, and her telling him, "Five years."
I'm glad you could hear that in her voice! I could definitely hear it when I wrote that, and could see her doing that little thing she does where she looks straight up with just her eyes and kind of puts one hand up.
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I love how eager Abed is to read Troy's note and I absolutely adored your Duncan in this chapter. Favorite line might be Roy and I were perfectly good friends.
Poor Annie, finding out so suddenly that Shirley's going to leave soon. I love the big reveal that her and Jeff are dating. Annie bragging was silly and fun.
Smitten idiots who need each other's snuggles to fall asleep: SO CUTE.
I love commander Abed, and I'm really interested to see how the rest of paintball goes, particularly how Annie fits into the adventure.
You're dean is hilarious and foolish, and I loved the scene in his obvious.
Also, it's really interesting that you found a way to bring Borchert back.
Looking forward to more! Sorry again that it has taken me so long to comment.
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Haha, thanks. And don't worry, he'll be making an appearance in part 2.
I love the big reveal that her and Jeff are dating. Annie bragging was silly and fun.
Smitten idiots who need each other's snuggles to fall asleep: SO CUTE.
I think these were my two favorite parts :-)
I love commander Abed
Abed is such a useful character for fics. Because you can take pretty much anything that would normally be OOC for him, but then couch it as him playing a movie part, and it instantly becomes in character, haha.
You're dean is hilarious and foolish, and I loved the scene in his obvious.
Also, it's really interesting that you found a way to bring Borchert back.Thanks! The Dean doesn't give up on Jeff easily, haha. What'd you think of Chang? I thought I finally had some decent dialogue for him. He's kinda difficult sometimes. One of my personal favorite lines was the one about Borchert's crew looking into his soul and bribing him ( ... )
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Agreed. He's a crazy, crazy man. But, yeah, I definitely thought you did a good job with him in this chapter. I loved how his emotions were all over the place. I particularly liked this snippet of dialogue: These people looked deep into my soul and offered me five hundred bucks for my allegiance. They get me.
I forgive you, but only because you apologized twice. :-P
Phew. I was really worried that would have to plague my conscious forever.
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Wow, it's great to have the gang all present. Characterization is spot on! Nice job.
So many great little moments and jokes, Annie's Sarah Connor photo, Chang's epilepsy caused be all the fluttering, the Dean's excitement over seeing Jeff and Shirley and... ugh Britta.
So far this is definitely one of the better paintball fics I've read. Lots of story, jokes, suspense and a dollop of mystery.
I just hope it doesn't turn out like Terminator Genysis... ;-)
Oh, and there's this of course:
“I’m just saying it sounds like lazy writing. A better story would’ve held the tension longer, made things look bleak for Troy right up until the end, until some dramatic event propelled Jeff to victory.” Abed shrugged. “That’s how I’d have done it, anyway.”
( ... )
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Haha, well I appreciate it, despite the lateness :)
Characterization is spot on! Nice job.
Thanks!! I'm glad you like it so far, and I'll try to keep it from ending up like Terminator Genisys. Although, full disclosure, I haven't seen it yet, so I can't make any promises. I've heard mixed things, and I desperately want it to be good, because Emilia Clarke is probably my #2 celeb crush behind Alison.
Oh, and there's this of course:
“I’m just saying it sounds like lazy writing. A better story would’ve held the tension longer, made things look bleak for Troy right up until the end, until some dramatic event propelled Jeff to victory.” Abed shrugged. “That’s how I’d have done it, anyway.”
LOL, yes that was for you. I was definitely using Abed as a meta way of poking fun at myself there. :-D
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