[Avengers and MCU] Best laid plans
So, there might have been a few jokes here and there from the bunch of crazies he was calling his team these days, something about him bringing in strays. He never bothered correcting them, because there were a lot of other things to worry about, helping Bucky recover being the most important one of them. But he really should've realized that Murphy's Law had it out for everyone, especially the Avengers.
**
There was an op in the Philippines that required the expertise of the Black Widow and the former Winter Soldier. Tony had a high-profile meet-and-greet in Japan, and Clint was on medical leave, healing up from a dislocated shoulder and broken ankle that actually came from being tossed up a building instead of falling down one, go figure. Thor was off-world, and Bruce was sequestered in his lab with a very sensitive experiment.
That meant when Dr. Doom decided to try his hand at world domination again, the Avengers were short handed like crazy. But in a mockery of Murphy, the Fantastic Four were all here, and together they finally discouraged Doom after about three days of on and off fighting (off, when Doom made long-winded speeches and had delusions of grandeur).
Before all hell broke loose, he and Bucky were making their way through the years of Disney movies that they had missed during their nap in the ice/time as a brainwashed assassin, respectively. The Lion King was next, and everyone was supposed to be back by now. But once his tired and bedraggled team hauled their sorry butts back to the tower, he found that Murphy was not as easily escaped as all that: Bucky and Nat had shanghaied Tony for extra firepower and the three of them would be delayed in their return due to a side-mission.
So he made the executive decision to postpone movie night and sent everyone to medical and/or bed instead.
His phone buzzed on the dresser about an hour after he managed to doze off, and he swore under his breath as he groped for it. The super serum was great for many things, but it didn't necessarily help him wake up any faster. "'allo?" he managed fuzzily.
"Cap, this is Clint."
Steve stared at the phone. "...Clint." He repeated.
Clint sounded amused. "Yes."
"Clint, why are you calling me at...3:32 am? When we're ...actually, we're even on the same floor. Is this like that thing where you like to text people even though you're sitting next to them?"
Clint's voice was amused over the connection, "Well, when a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist and two ex-Russian assassins walk into a room - "
That worked as well as a bucket of cold water and suddenly, Steve was wide awake. "They're back? How did it go? Is everyone okay?"
Tony's voice came over the line - entirely too clearly for the two of them to be in the same room. Clint must have them on three-way conference - Steve knew these things now. "You wish you were as good a playboy as I am, Barton!" A pause. "Why is no one cringing in terror? Hey, show some respect!"
If it weren't for super-soldier hearing, he would've missed the exchange happening away from the line, but he could hear fine and Natasha's voice was dry. "You're the least terrifying thing in this quinjet right now, Stark."
"And she's the expert on all things terrifying," Clint agreed. "Tony says they're two hours out, Cap. Nat says there was an...accident, during their mission. I think we're going to need either Thor or Bruce on this."
**
Steve stared, aghast, at the three Avengers in the living room. All three were standing around with a bare fraction of their usual grace, sporting cat ears and tails - Natasha's a beautiful silky looking orange-brown, Tony's a deep mahogany that was almost black, and Bucky's a soft-looking sable. Clint looked like he was torn between laughing and reaching out to touch, and Bruce looked like he was trying to hold in all his questions. "What happened?"
Tony snorted in disgust. "Magic." He said, sounding supremely offended.
Natasha shrugged. "Some guy that named himself Dr. Weird, after Dr. Strange. He loved cats." Steve decided to not ask about the use of the past-tense.
Bucky didn't say anything, but the tip of his tail twitched violently.
Natasha was usually more succinct, but now that he noticed Bucky's tail-twitch, he could see Natasha's doing the same thing. He wasn't an expert on cats, but he suspected that they were a lot more agitated than their facial expressions were letting on. Since Tony wasn't twitching and Tony loved to talk, Steve turned to him. "Explain."
"Well, when a man enamored with magic and cats decide to take over the world, and a handsome genius was tapped to help with stopping him -- "
Natasha was definitely less calm than she looked, because her silky cinnamon colored ears twitched too, right before she cut in with, "you were supposed to be providing cover fire -"
"Excuse me, I was trying to dodge the stupid transfiguration ray while you and the one-armed bandit were running around like chickens with their heads cut off instead of -"
The thing was, the Avengers got loud in whatever combinations they end up in and Natasha was no exception, especially against Tony. And the other thing was, Bucky's warmed up to everyone but he was still quiet, quieter than Bruce on most days unless it was just him and Steve. So it was jarring when he said, "Enough," loudly enough to cut over both Tony and Natasha.
His face and body language was disturbingly blank, almost like it was at the beginning, and he kept his voice flat and and inflectionless when he stepped into the verbal vacuum of their silence. Steve felt the dread in his bones - that was the Winter Soldier's mission report voice. "Dr. Weird was approached and subdued with minimal injuries and damage at 0500 yesterday. The only non-routine part of the mission were these...transformations." Steve stared, fascinated, as Bucky's face remained flat but his tail whipped through the air once, before falling still again. "We have both the instrument and Dr. Weird in custody in the Stark secure holding floor 68."
Tony recovered and added, "I did some scans on ourselves and our new 'appendages' on the way back, and it unfortunately it doesn't look explainable or fixable by science. Where's Big and Blonde? We can use some Asgardian Magical input right about now."
**
The general consensus was that the ray would probably wear off, sooner rather than later. Thor promised over video-conference (In Asgard!!) to check with his family and Bruce, Tony and Jane were determined to keep studying the phenomenon, but that left Tony, Natasha and Bucky in limbo until either the spell wore off or they find a new magical/scientific solution.
"It's not so horrible," Tony said, staring at his tail as if hypnotized and making it weave lazily in the air. He didn't seem to notice that his ears were swiveling though, almost following the tail's motion.
Natasha was unimpressed, but that was her default state. "We'll be in the gym," she announced, snagging Bucky's elbow on her way out. Her posture and tone were casual but Steve didn't fail to notice that her ears were almost flat against her head and Bucky's tail was poofing. "Let's see if the changes were only cosmetic."
The changes were not only cosmetic.
Steve gaped a little as he watched Natasha hit the mats running, then throw herself forward into three flips, followed by a cartwheel and raising into a perfect handstand. She proceeded to do splits, first front and back and then side to side, and then twirl around on her hands before twisting until her spine was almost a perfect U. She held it for a few heartbeats before rolling to her feet.
"Not bad." She declared into Steve's dumbfounded silence.
Steve wasn't sure how she didn't break her back. "Could she do that before?" he asked incredulously.
Bucky shrugged. "Yes. But she would've needed to warm up first."
"Marked improvement in flexibility," she noted, "And the tail helps with balance."
"I guess so." Bucky shrugged. His tail wasn't poofed out anymore, Steve noticed, and his ears were more perked up than before. As if sensing his gaze, Bucky side-eyed him and the ears flicked, as if they weren't quite sure if they wanted to flatten or not. "What?"
"Nothin'."
His oldest and bestest friend rolled his eyes. "A crappy liar as usual, Rogers."
**
The ears and tails turned out to be excellent mood gauges, to the dismay (Natasha and Bucky) and delight (Tony) of the afflicted. Steve supposed it was a blessing in disguise that the genius billionaire got hit with the spell too - less because the mocking and teasing was naturally diminished (which is not to say that Tony's not capable of making fun of himself), more because he had enough sway on the science side to make sure the testing didn't get too out of hand. Because while the tails and ears were pretty harmless, it was still not something any of them had consented to, and everyone had very strong feelings about this sort of thing.
Steve had read about Tony's expression of displeasure directed at the Ten Rings, and he had participated when Bucky did his best to burn Hydra to the ground. He wasn't sure what Natasha did to whoever wronged her, but he was sure that it was terrifying. So it was good that JARVIS and Bruce did mostly non-invasive scans after politely asking for permission.
"Well, the good news is that everyone is healthy and the physiological impact seem to be generally positive," Bruce concluded. "As Natasha had already mentioned, it looks like there's an across-the-board improvement to the five senses and reflexes. I think we should make sure to pay attention to your diets, in case there's some change in your digestive systems from this spell. I'll draw up a list."
"Hats for everyone out in public," Tony added. "And keep the tails tucked in, I guess." In typical fashion, he immediately tried it himself and made a face. "Ugh, that's not comfortable." Pepper sighed where she was sitting next to him, and absently reached up to stroke his hair as he tugged his tail back out. Almost immediately, Tony let out a happy groan and shamelessly plopped his entire head in her lap.
Natasha looked intrigued, eyes going from a blissful Tony getting his ears stroked by an indulgent Pepper to the equally mesmerized Clint. Steve looked at Bucky, whose tail was already starting to twitch neurotically at the mere thought of going outside. Or maybe it was the thought of having anyone that close to his head, cat- ears or not.
Bucky caught him looking and gave him a wordless, 'hell no'. Steve gave him a mournful frown in response - those ears looked so soft.
**
He would've pegged Natasha as a cat person, and this recent brush with wacky magic just cemented the notion. Steve had to conclude, when he tried thinking about it, that Tony was neither a cat person nor a dog person - he was pretty much just a crazy person in general. The genius billionaire took to his cat appendages and enhancements with his usual manic glee, only occasionally stopping to gripe about the fact that it wasn't wrought by science.
Now, Bucky, Steve would've pegged as a dog person before the war, and he's not so much a cat person after as he was actually like a cat. A quiet, standoffish, stray cat that ghosted in and out of rooms, wary of a friendly hand. In that way, the ears and the tails were somehow oddly appropriate.
Steve counted himself lucky that a minor case of animal transformation was Bucky's first major brush with the type of weirdness that was typical of an average Avenger's week.
"You seem to be taking it pretty well," Sam was commenting to Bucky as Steve made breakfast after their usual morning run. They all had their own floors, but today they were congregating in the communal kitchen because they were all three, out of bacon. "My first brush with Avenger-dom involved that thing with Namor and the mutated giant sea creatures." He shuddered. "Never gonna eat shrimp again."
Bucky shrugged. He was perched on the very edge of a stool by the kitchen island, with the plate of bacon supposedly out of reach. There was no human way that anyone could maintain that position and reach for the food, but Bucky was currently in possession of superb balance aid. Steve turned a blind eye to the fact that strips were disappearing anyway.
He grinned. "Chitauri invasion, for my first week."
"Yeah, that was pretty crazy," Sam agreed.
Breakfast was the only lazy part of the morning - after they ate, Sam left for his non-superhero (but still heroic, Steve thought) work at the VA while Steve threw himself into the mission reports he had been neglecting on Doom's attempted takeover. The parts of the Soldier that stuck with Bucky even now meant that his best friend was already all done with his paperwork, and Steve watched enviously as Bucky left the spare room they were using as an office/art room with an elegant swish of the tail. And then it was report after report - it was early afternoon when he finally looked up, starting to feel the stirrings of hunger in his stomach.
At some point Bucky had came in and left him a sandwich and a big glass of juice - a super soldier's enhanced senses and hyper awareness never managed much of a warning against an almost super-soldier's stealth, never mind that Bucky never registered as an enemy to him even when it would've saved him a few bullet holes. It didn't even put up a peep now that Bucky was apparently walking as quietly as a cat instead of just 'almost', soporific effects of doing mission reports notwithstanding.
In any case, the sandwich was delicious.
He took the dirty plate and glass to the kitchen to set in the sink for washing later. The TV was on in the living room and on Mythbusters, with three heads - brown, red and blond noting his entrance. Clint gave a little wave while Natasha and Bucky ignored him in favor of watching what looked like two cars colliding head-on via some sort of complicated rigging on-screen.
Steve looked at the three on the couch - Clint and Natasha were sitting comfortably on the right side, shoulders and thighs almost touching. It looked perfectly normal except for the ears and tail on Natasha and the fact that Steve knew their personal space bubble was at least two feet in every direction, maybe one on a good day. Bucky wisely left the two feet between himself and Natasha and was almost sitting on the left arm of the couch, tail curled discreetly along his thigh, almost invisible against the dark material.
On one hand: extremely boring after-action reports that really could've been summarized in one sentence - Doom was his usual megalomaniac self, the Fantastic Four were fantastic but still crazy, and somehow world destruction was thwarted. Boring.
On the other hand: time spent with two close friends and his best friend, watching a show that even Tony can't really disdain. The neat space left open for him beckoned, and when Natasha glanced at him and patted the cushions with a flick of her ear, it became a proper invitation. Bucky barely budged when he sat down, just enough so that his tail was out of danger.
The mission reports can wait.
--
Clint and Natasha took their leave after the marathon finished and Steve changed the station to a baseball game. Bucky was a heavy weight against his left shoulder, having nodded off somewhere around the fourth hour. The sound of explosions, excited science talk, and metal crunching together were apparently a lullaby to the Winter Soldier - cat edition.
The crack of a bat hitting the ball made Bucky stir, and Steve looked longingly at the silky ears that had grazed his cheek. The sun was slanting warm and golden through the windows, and if Natasha and Clint had stayed, they would've been in a perfect place to sunbathe. Bucky yawned and blinked slowly at the screen, where the crowd was roaring and the announcer was exclaiming something about a home-run.
Steve was expecting Bucky to sit up and only briefly lamented the warm weight against his side and soft fur against his cheek before Bucky climbed across his lap with aplomb, turned around so he took up the entire right side of the couch that was now vacated, and curled up on his side using Steve as a pillow. That, he wasn't expecting.
"Wha?" Steve said intelligently.
Bucky turned his head from where he was comfortably settled on Steve's thigh to give him a look worthy of all cat-kind. "Sunbeam," was the explanation, said in a tone that indicated that it really shouldn't require any explanation, but what can you do about dumb humans?
"Oh."
Bucky gave a barely audible exasperated sigh, shifting back into the more comfortable position. "Fine. You can touch them."
"Wha?" Steve said again, then realized that he had thrown his hands up in the surrender position when Bucky had first plopped his head down. The ears were nearly the same dark brown as his long hair - now streaked with amber with the way the light was hitting - and he almost didn't notice when Bucky flicked the right one eloquently.
"You can quit it with the puppy eyes any minute now." Bucky mumbled.
Steve carefully lowered his hands, letting one rest on the empty spot Bucky vacated and the other on Bucky's head. The sable strands were soft and waved a little, curling slightly on the longer ends. He ran a light finger down the base of one triangular ear - the fur there was shorter, finer than Bucky's hair, and it was much warmer than he expected.
Bucky didn't verbally approve the stroking like Tony did, but Steve could see his tail weave lazily in a contented rhythm as Steve gradually became bolder and firmer in his touches. If there was any purring involved, both of them were going to take it to their graves. Steve resolved to never, ever quit it with his puppy eyes if this was what they got him.
--
It took two weeks for the weird science/magic ray to wear off. Two weeks of finding sunny spots to sit in. Hours of doing press for the Avengers because Tony hated his hat like most cats hated collars. Days of laughing at Natasha stalking Clint, at Tony stalking Pepper and Bruce, at Bucky who glared at him in the communal areas but would let him pet his hair and ears in private.
One day, the three of them just woke up and the unnatural appendages were gone. Natasha went back to a normal scary level of bendy, Clint's leg was finally out of the cast just in time for her to stop stalking him, and Bucky...well, sometimes Bucky will still come hang out with him in a sunny spot, which was more than Steve can ask for, really.
No harm done overall, except maybe the permanent ban on laser pointers in the tower.
**
End
notes:
1. In fact, the laser pointer belonged to Bruce, not Tony or Clint as one might suspect. It still wrought havoc and destruction, and to this day if Bucky sees one he'll crush it.
2. Steve is secretly (?) also a little shit.
3. Natasha's stalking included leaving Clint little presents which may or may not include: random pieces of things that are thin and long so he can scratch under his cast, arrowheads and things that can be arrowheads, his favorite yogurt drinks from the Asian market, and dead bugs, just to mess with him.
4. This is the first fic I finished that was not for Avengerkink. Yay?