[Captain America] The internet is for kinkmemes
For the hydratrashmeme
Originally prompted here.
Prompt: Rumlow finds the Hydra Trash Party on the internet. Take it in any direction you will, but I guess this is crack.
Notes: The warning is that it IS crack.
**
Brock Rumlow was bored.
He was about three months from the collapse of the Triskelion and at the point of his recovery where he was just well enough to be conscious and need amusement, but not physically healthy enough to actually do anything. 'Grank Frillo' was a burn victim during the Helicarrier takedown in DC with a squeaky clean record that was devoid of anything Hydra-related and a decent chunk of savings tucked away from before his tragic 'accident'. The name was stupid, but he was glad for the deep paranoia that Hydra installed in him that led to having a fallback plan.
So Rumlow was physically well enough to be bored and financially well enough to be comfortably installed in a reasonably priced long-term recovery facility. Unfortunately the facility was reasonably priced for a reason: it didn't come with much in the areas of entertainment. There was a 'rec' room with a TV that wasn't even a flatscreen and a few board games, a decent basketball court (not that he could stand long enough to play), and...well, nothing.
He finally had to pay one of the nurses to pick up a decent laptop. Then he found out that the wireless in here sucked. If he tried to stream anything, he got the dreaded 'loading' icon, and trying to download anything took for-fucking-ever.
Out of desperation, he turned his mind toward his organization again. There has to be some other head of Hydra still out there!
Thankfully the net was fast enough for basic search and sites, as long as they're not too image-heavy, which meant 4-chan and tumblr were out of the question. He typed in a few key words that he knew Hydra used as code for its members on certain sites, and sat back to see the results.
"...Hydratrashmeme.dreamwidth.net...?" he murmured. It looked promising, so he clicked on the link.
Needless to say, he found his eyebrows twitching neurotically about three pages into the comments, and after reading one particularly titillating fill, he had to close the laptop and spend a few minutes staring wide-eyed at the opposite wall. He knew Romanov dumped a lot of Hydra's files, but this was...!
He steeled himself. He used very specific codewords in the search. There had to be something in the meme comments that was causing a hit. It could be someone from Hydra trying to contact him.
With that in mind, he determinedly waded back in. For the life of him he could not get the search to work completely correctly, so he was forced to read through 16 pages of the self-proclaimed trash (though some of the stuff...actually wasn't badly written. Not that he read it, he just had to skim for the key words!).
It took him two days before he finally hit jackpot (and a few cold showers) on page 13. There was a long, WIP fill on one of the prompts about Bucky as a cat leaving horrible mangled remains of Hydra agents (he couldn't believe the Asset had such a dumb nickname, 'Bucky' sounded like what you would call a dog, though Rumlow wasn't stupid enough to repeat that thought either in front of the Asset or Rogers). Rumlow was a little wary of the incomplete status (having learned the hard lesson in the first 12 pages of comments), but there were enough parts written that he figured it would serve as entertainment if it didn't turn out to be a secret encoded message to Hydra agents.
The writing sucked him in like a black hole. It was detailed, it was gory, it was...obviously not written by a native speaker, but anyway. The author obviously did some research into the dumped files, because the bases they described as being targeted by Asset on his revenge roadtrip were all actual bases, and some of the names...
Rumlow felt a chill race down his spine. There was Jack Rollins meeting his gruesome end by the end of Chapter 2, in a communications base in Mississippi that Rumlow still remembered, because the mosquitoes there were killer. Possibly even more deadly than the Asset himself, and the loving depiction of the swamps (perfect for hiding bodies) was familiar, it was exactly the view one would have from inside the base.
Chapter 3-5 detailed 'Bucky's' long hunt for various moles whose names were also painfully familiar, and one of the executions involved acid jello, a vanilla scented candle, and grappling hooks. He swallowed, now sweating bullets. The author was anon but no one knew about Abidjan. No one.
The entire team was sworn to secrecy on what happened and with the fall of Hydra, most of them were dead or too busy staying alive to reveal the details in an online fanfic community! Rumlow had a very bad feeling that there was one other person that knew about Abidjan and that he wanted Rumlow to know it.
Ward and Garret died by chapter 10 in a mirror of the North Dakota armory, but not without close encounters with a glitter bomb first. That was also from a mission with the Asset that went FUBAR. Rumlow swallowed as he looked at the link to the next section, updated just half an hour ago. He forced himself to scroll down to the text.
All the blood drained from his face at the opening sentence. With a yell, he scrambled out of his bed and ran for the door, screaming nonsense. It took two orderlies to sedate him and put him back to bed, the doctor and nurses buzzing with confusion over the strange actions of 'Grank Frillo'.
The laptop went to sleep mode and locked down in the ruckus before they thought to check it. If they had, they would've just seen some dreamwidth site with a dubiously worksafe name and a long string of comments ending with 'Re: Kill Bill / Bucky is a cat - part 11 of ?', the paragraph starting with: Brock Rumlow was bored.
**
Steven Grant Rogers paused with the container of orange juice halfway up to his mouth. The noise that grabbed his attention floated out from the living room.
"Bucky...?" He called. Surely that couldn't've been a cackle?
It came again. Definitely a cackle.
The super soldier sighed and took his juice to the living room. The assassin formerly known as the Winter Soldier, and even more formerly (and now, currently) known as his best friend, James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes, was snickering and rubbing his hands together gleefully. Steve didn't need to look at the laptop screen to see the icon of Oscar the Grouch in a trash can to know what site his friend was on.
"The meme again?" he asked after finally getting a good gulp of his juice. Having fought actual Trolls, he wasn't sure how applicable the name was to Bucky being mean to Rumlow on the internet (albeit anonymously), but there was no denying his friend was a little shit. There was also no denying that it was both therapeutic and cathartic.
Bucky nodded, no longer laughing but with a smirk still fixed firmly in place. "I just posted the part for Rumlow. Think Stark can get me video surveillance of Meadowood?" That was the name of the recovery facility that Rumlow was hiding in, at the moment. Though if the man had any ounce of sense left, he would take the glaring hint that Bucky just gave him and run for it.
"We'll ask after breakfast." Steve promised.
Bucky's attention was already turned back to the page, and as he wandered back to the kitchen in preparation to make enough eggs for a baseball team (or two super soldiers), he heard Bucky call out, "Hey, do you want to be my beta reader?"
**End (OR IS IT?)
Notes:
1. No real prompts were harmed in the making of this fic, though I really wish someone would fill the Kill Bill/Bucky one. I guess this also partially fills the Bucky being on the trashmeme one on page 3...
2. I think this was my brain's reaction to writing fluff and then pr0n (thankfully not in the same fic). It needed some crack to even things out.
3. Supernatural Season 5 - the French Mistake. That's kinda what I was trying for here. "Jared and Jensen pretending to be Sam and Dean, pretending to be Jared and Jensen, pretending to be Sam and Dean."
Originally prompted here.
Prompt: Rumlow finds the Hydra Trash Party on the internet. Take it in any direction you will, but I guess this is crack.
Notes: The warning is that it IS crack.
**
Brock Rumlow was bored.
He was about three months from the collapse of the Triskelion and at the point of his recovery where he was just well enough to be conscious and need amusement, but not physically healthy enough to actually do anything. 'Grank Frillo' was a burn victim during the Helicarrier takedown in DC with a squeaky clean record that was devoid of anything Hydra-related and a decent chunk of savings tucked away from before his tragic 'accident'. The name was stupid, but he was glad for the deep paranoia that Hydra installed in him that led to having a fallback plan.
So Rumlow was physically well enough to be bored and financially well enough to be comfortably installed in a reasonably priced long-term recovery facility. Unfortunately the facility was reasonably priced for a reason: it didn't come with much in the areas of entertainment. There was a 'rec' room with a TV that wasn't even a flatscreen and a few board games, a decent basketball court (not that he could stand long enough to play), and...well, nothing.
He finally had to pay one of the nurses to pick up a decent laptop. Then he found out that the wireless in here sucked. If he tried to stream anything, he got the dreaded 'loading' icon, and trying to download anything took for-fucking-ever.
Out of desperation, he turned his mind toward his organization again. There has to be some other head of Hydra still out there!
Thankfully the net was fast enough for basic search and sites, as long as they're not too image-heavy, which meant 4-chan and tumblr were out of the question. He typed in a few key words that he knew Hydra used as code for its members on certain sites, and sat back to see the results.
"...Hydratrashmeme.dreamwidth.net...?" he murmured. It looked promising, so he clicked on the link.
Needless to say, he found his eyebrows twitching neurotically about three pages into the comments, and after reading one particularly titillating fill, he had to close the laptop and spend a few minutes staring wide-eyed at the opposite wall. He knew Romanov dumped a lot of Hydra's files, but this was...!
He steeled himself. He used very specific codewords in the search. There had to be something in the meme comments that was causing a hit. It could be someone from Hydra trying to contact him.
With that in mind, he determinedly waded back in. For the life of him he could not get the search to work completely correctly, so he was forced to read through 16 pages of the self-proclaimed trash (though some of the stuff...actually wasn't badly written. Not that he read it, he just had to skim for the key words!).
It took him two days before he finally hit jackpot (and a few cold showers) on page 13. There was a long, WIP fill on one of the prompts about Bucky as a cat leaving horrible mangled remains of Hydra agents (he couldn't believe the Asset had such a dumb nickname, 'Bucky' sounded like what you would call a dog, though Rumlow wasn't stupid enough to repeat that thought either in front of the Asset or Rogers). Rumlow was a little wary of the incomplete status (having learned the hard lesson in the first 12 pages of comments), but there were enough parts written that he figured it would serve as entertainment if it didn't turn out to be a secret encoded message to Hydra agents.
The writing sucked him in like a black hole. It was detailed, it was gory, it was...obviously not written by a native speaker, but anyway. The author obviously did some research into the dumped files, because the bases they described as being targeted by Asset on his revenge roadtrip were all actual bases, and some of the names...
Rumlow felt a chill race down his spine. There was Jack Rollins meeting his gruesome end by the end of Chapter 2, in a communications base in Mississippi that Rumlow still remembered, because the mosquitoes there were killer. Possibly even more deadly than the Asset himself, and the loving depiction of the swamps (perfect for hiding bodies) was familiar, it was exactly the view one would have from inside the base.
Chapter 3-5 detailed 'Bucky's' long hunt for various moles whose names were also painfully familiar, and one of the executions involved acid jello, a vanilla scented candle, and grappling hooks. He swallowed, now sweating bullets. The author was anon but no one knew about Abidjan. No one.
The entire team was sworn to secrecy on what happened and with the fall of Hydra, most of them were dead or too busy staying alive to reveal the details in an online fanfic community! Rumlow had a very bad feeling that there was one other person that knew about Abidjan and that he wanted Rumlow to know it.
Ward and Garret died by chapter 10 in a mirror of the North Dakota armory, but not without close encounters with a glitter bomb first. That was also from a mission with the Asset that went FUBAR. Rumlow swallowed as he looked at the link to the next section, updated just half an hour ago. He forced himself to scroll down to the text.
All the blood drained from his face at the opening sentence. With a yell, he scrambled out of his bed and ran for the door, screaming nonsense. It took two orderlies to sedate him and put him back to bed, the doctor and nurses buzzing with confusion over the strange actions of 'Grank Frillo'.
The laptop went to sleep mode and locked down in the ruckus before they thought to check it. If they had, they would've just seen some dreamwidth site with a dubiously worksafe name and a long string of comments ending with 'Re: Kill Bill / Bucky is a cat - part 11 of ?', the paragraph starting with: Brock Rumlow was bored.
**
Steven Grant Rogers paused with the container of orange juice halfway up to his mouth. The noise that grabbed his attention floated out from the living room.
"Bucky...?" He called. Surely that couldn't've been a cackle?
It came again. Definitely a cackle.
The super soldier sighed and took his juice to the living room. The assassin formerly known as the Winter Soldier, and even more formerly (and now, currently) known as his best friend, James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes, was snickering and rubbing his hands together gleefully. Steve didn't need to look at the laptop screen to see the icon of Oscar the Grouch in a trash can to know what site his friend was on.
"The meme again?" he asked after finally getting a good gulp of his juice. Having fought actual Trolls, he wasn't sure how applicable the name was to Bucky being mean to Rumlow on the internet (albeit anonymously), but there was no denying his friend was a little shit. There was also no denying that it was both therapeutic and cathartic.
Bucky nodded, no longer laughing but with a smirk still fixed firmly in place. "I just posted the part for Rumlow. Think Stark can get me video surveillance of Meadowood?" That was the name of the recovery facility that Rumlow was hiding in, at the moment. Though if the man had any ounce of sense left, he would take the glaring hint that Bucky just gave him and run for it.
"We'll ask after breakfast." Steve promised.
Bucky's attention was already turned back to the page, and as he wandered back to the kitchen in preparation to make enough eggs for a baseball team (or two super soldiers), he heard Bucky call out, "Hey, do you want to be my beta reader?"
**End (OR IS IT?)
Notes:
1. No real prompts were harmed in the making of this fic, though I really wish someone would fill the Kill Bill/Bucky one. I guess this also partially fills the Bucky being on the trashmeme one on page 3...
2. I think this was my brain's reaction to writing fluff and then pr0n (thankfully not in the same fic). It needed some crack to even things out.
3. Supernatural Season 5 - the French Mistake. That's kinda what I was trying for here. "Jared and Jensen pretending to be Sam and Dean, pretending to be Jared and Jensen, pretending to be Sam and Dean."