application for amatomnes
PLAYER
» Journal: bangafewgongs
» Birthdate/Age: July 7th, 1989 (22)
» Characters Played: Dr. Jacob Glaser (twasarobotshead), Remy “Thirteen” Hadley (masochismweekly), Alec McDowell (wisenheimer), Boaz Priestly (femboxes).
CHARACTER
» Name: James “Jimmy” Novak
» Fandom: Supernatural
» Reference: here
» Canon Point: 4x20 “The Rapture,” in the warehouse just after he’s shot while he’s bleeding out, and just before Castiel reclaims him because Jimmy asks him to.
» Gender: Male.
» Age: While no canon specific age is given it’s fair to assume that Jimmy is between his early to late thirties because of Misha’s outward appearance and the fact that he’s been married long term and has a adolescent daughter. His faith also supports this when the timeline is taken into consideration, knowing that Jimmy is too moralistic to have a child out of wedlock or have a shot gun wedding.
» Orientation: Heterosexual; Canonically Jimmy has shown no attraction to anyone of the male orientation and is married to his wife of several years, Amelia Novak, and is the father of a budding young teenage girl Claire Novak.
» Personality: Jimmy Novak is a character that is introduced to us as a flight risk, he has no other option but to abide by a commitment he’d made to an entity no one else believed in after being given the promise of sanctuary for his family as a specification of the agreement. The battle he’s having to fight because of this choice is a losing one and in giving the angel Castiel consent to host he both neglects and puts his family in harms way. Without the possession of his divine counterpart his wife and daughter become an easy target even with the assistance provided by the hunting duo Dean and Sam. An open vessel is like a gazelle with a broken leg by the watering hole and without the upper hand of Castiel in their company Jimmy is left a weakened radio ad salesman with no aptitude for defense against the demons that decide to attack Claire and use Amelia to keep Cas from returning and assisting the Winchesters.
We’re introduced to this character who is both outwardly, inwardly, and intellectually different from the one we associated with prior by seeing the weakness behind vessels and the entire process in which an angel can descend and offer their capabilities to the willing by using the blessed. Castiel provides him direction through random miracles and less than forward means to show him that despite Amelia’s feelings and Claire’s confusion that he is real, that his faith is true, and that he’s needed to carry out part of the bigger plan; a plan that has nothing to do with his two story house and family dinners. It takes some poking and prodding and a nudge here and there in the company of those important to him to persuade him into committing. It’s not long after Jimmy is able to thrust his hand forward into a scalding pot of boiling water and remove it untainted that he dresses to meet one of his father’s children and gives his word where most would be seeking help, and not turning down the medication and offer of psychological assistance that their wives suggest. His permission is granted after he forces the angel in his invisible guise to sweeten the pot by giving his family refuge in his absence and throughout whatever is needed of him. It’s this blind faith and unyielding loyalty that is the highlight of his character and the stability behind every choice that he makes, whether rash or well thought through.
Above all Jimmy seems to be the paragon of humanity and supports every personality trait God had intention for in creating the mortals Castiel so longs to protect. The passion, compassion, will power, and intention in him is unrivaled and unparalleled and although it’s not always handled as gracefully and as unabashedly as it should be he’s still humbled by his life and his accomplishments and doesn’t dabble in any sins save for that of pride supported thoroughly and only by the indignant way in which he chooses to view Castiel’s shortcomings and the life choices of both of the boys that are in his charge. His sole purpose in life is to live it, to live it justly, and to do what he can in the time that he can and leave as much as possible behind. He’s a good husband, a better father, and his drive to keep them safe from harm and ensure their happiness is without pause even in the midst of being told he’s wrong, he’s needed, he’s being foolish, and that he could and might potentially endanger himself as well as them. His heart is as pure as it is big and as they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Despite how honorable his decision may have been it was supported by his loneliness and the strain that being a human vessel can put on ones body and psyche. He was willing to adjust to the life of someone emotionally and mentally handicapped to return to his family and even tells his wife that his absence has been due to a stay at a psychiatric hospital but is quick to renege when she and Claire both are attacked by demons. He screams at the sky in anger to Castiel who has been taken back to the Garrison to be re-indoctrinated, accusing him of not following through with their deal, of taking more than what was on the table and blaming him for the helplessness he was feeling.
He’s a normal guy, with a typical job, and a mundane less than exciting life. He likes red meat, cooking, spending time with his family, and devoting himself to every aspect of these things while putting himself entirely into the progress of the activity or relationship that he’s focused toward. Before the angel sought him out his life was perfect, with little to no melodrama, and he was content with that. It was his need to provide and his more paternal outlook toward Amelia and Claire that lead to him making the choice he did, if he wasn’t beseeched by Castiel he would’ve continued out his life as it proceeded without boredom and without idle hands because he’s well aware of how both can lead to disaster. When Jimmy felt out of place or complacent he’d just set his mind to another task, another goal, and allow himself the room to grow independently and separately from his family whom he always puts first no matter the situation, valuing them as the single most important blessing he’s had in his life.
He’s also fairly sarcastic, when asked how being the vessel of an angel feels he uses a metaphor while gorging himself on fast food, “It’s kind of like being chained to a comet,” Dean replies with a similar sardonic comment mentioning how that might feel and the “tax accountant,” is quick to reply, “Understatement.” He’s open, honest, and deliberate in what he says and does and this just plays into his how facetious he’s capable of being especially when already peeved or irate. He tries to treat most with a kind and accepting regard but is just as capable of getting into bad moods as anyone else especially when faced with problematic circumstance and a lose/lose scenario.
These key traits are carried by him until the very end and through blind faith and sheer testament of will power he’s able to singe handedly stave away both death and fear by remaining placid and taking the bible into consideration and what it means to have the family he does and owe the responsibilities that he has to toward them. He gives up his freedom to protect his twelve year old daughter who is chosen by blood as well and the next candidate to be Castiel’s vessel, he doesn’t want her to live that life, he does what is within his power to provide for her even as he’s lying bleeding out on the floor of the warehouse and as his host calmly tells him what’s in store should the request be granted. He’s altruistic in this choice, and the choice made before the conflict, and always puts those that mean the most to him first before anything else and plays the role he’s supposed to until the bitter end without fault and without affliction.
On that same note he’s not perfect. He’s quick to state his disagreement with something if he really believes it to be true and in the heat of an exasperated moment will make quick and unthought-of decisions to better himself, his goals, or make certain his benefit. He can be selfish, and the entire experience made him doubt his faith and what it meant to be as fervent in his religious choices as he had been. He started to put himself first and reaped the repercussions of that, though his heart was in the right place and the sporadic nature of those reactions and choices were brought on by the need to see his family and make sure they were alright, and the desperation he had to return to his life of normalcy and veer from the catastrophic things he’d had to see and deal with.
A less ambitious and more resentful, envious, man wouldn’t have made the choices he did, and wouldn’t have sacrificed himself not once but twice to carry out good and protect others instead of himself and his own needs. Through and through Jimmy has proven himself to be a hero, not in the same respects as those he’s associated with but on a separate level entirely than what he’s used to or would even take ownership for. He stays true to himself, to his wants, needs, wishes, loves, and concerns and is blatant out right and honest about them even in the face of lesser attributes and his own flaws. He’s not perfect, even when the term paragon is brought into consideration but prior to his life as a vessel he was a man of the cross and he knows as well as any worshiper does that mortals aren’t meant to be perfect and nothing is set in stone.
Castiel and Jimmy: Throughout his time as a glorified meat suit Jimmy was faced with an intense perceptional and physical stretching that extended well beyond what he saw and what his body had to endure not just physically and emotionally but spiritually and intellectually as well. He was shot, stabbed, burnt, blown up. He was on the receiving end of many gruesome attacks and was coherent still in the back of his mind even as Cas was struck down by his own brothers time and time again enough that he could reign the considerable amount of consciousness needed to visit his family, who, whether he’d admit it or not he knew his time with would be short. This even surprised Cas and spoke measures of how diligently he strove to make sure of his families safety and how deeply his love for them ran.
After giving consent not once but a second time after taking the impact of a bullet wound to the abdomen where a major artery was he was sworn into the angels custody again with warning that his life would not get better and that the road they’d travel together could get worse, and it did. He gave his word for the happiness of his wife and child and the promise of their life which would ultimately be better without him, something no man should have to acknowledge, and something no person could walk away from without inevitably breaking, not when they harbored such an indefatigable consistency in their devotedness to them.
At the end of 2009 Castiel was blown up another time by Lucifer himself and brought back once again under the assumption that God had revived him for his service and carrying out his orders, even in the face of burden and rebellion. This time Jimmy was not a part of the renewal and Cas himself goes onto state that Jimmy is silent, that he could be brain dead, and that his presence is no longer constant but instead barely a murmur of what it was the following year. The actor that plays the character states that he believes Jimmy to be an inherent piece of Castiel still but with how much he feeds the press and how inconsistent his remarks to them are my opinion leans more toward canon and the likelihood that the several times Castiel was annihilated led to the impromptu ascending of Jimmy to his own personal heaven, one filled with memories that never included his angel or the favor he did for the apocalypse and the world. The garrison, or his time there, won’t be a remembered part of his conscience because Jimmy will be taken from the very moment before Castiel regains his body after he begs to be taken in the place of his daughter. This is just a simple explanation provided to show the separation between his host and the man behind the angel, if their personality wasn’t antithetic enough.
» Appearance: Standing at six feet exactly Jimmy epitomizes the suburban husband to intricate norms. He dresses crisply in button up shirts and slacks to work and combs his dark brown, almost black, hair over to one side of his head every day while being sure to keep clean shaven. His blue eyes only further darken his already olive toned skin and his charcoal black brows and the stubble lining his jaw add sharper definition to his facial features.
In more leisurely times he can be known to sport an old t-shirt and a pair of work out shorts, his hair in heavy disarray jutting out every which way to compliment his lack of concern for how he looks. He appears to the spectator as average, maybe a little lanky with a runners build, but he doesn’t go out of his way to look too flashy and he’s never dressed up for anyone save Castiel. He’s out of shape and unconditioned to anything but the middle aged household life he’d been living.
Jimmy will be arriving in a two piece navy blue suit with a matching tie and white dress shirt, and a long tan trench coat, both stained in blood.
» Suitability: (Please note, this section only applies if your character was under the age of 18, of ambiguous age, or of ambiguous mental stability. Otherwise, N/A will suffice.)
SAMPLES
» "amatomnes" First-Person Network Entry: {VOICE:}
[It takes a fair bit of maneuvering but finally Jimmy gets the device on, just in time for the island to hear the last bit of his disgruntled mumbling as he makes a final attempt. He’s had a hell of a day.]
Look- I’m not sure if anyone can hear me but I… [He realizes it’s probably hopeless and feels stupid for even talking into the machine and it’s audible in his voice.] I’m not sure where I am, how to get this damn thing…. Off of my neck, and I need someone to look at my hand and just… help, in general.
Has anyone spoken to a woman named Claire? Amelia? [His tone breaks a little on the vowels of their name and he clears his throat to keep face.] I don’t know… Castiel. Dean. Sam. Anyone.
I need to get home.
SOMEONE needs to listen.
» "amatomneslogs" Third-Person Prose Entry: He’s reeling, for a moment he’s sure he can contribute the feeling to the blood he’s lost but all too soon he’s being pulled forward through the tiniest of holes, geometrically incapable of holding his size, crushing his chest, leaving him winded. He’s greeted with reality, or what he’s sure has to be a lucid dream brought on by bleeding out. By instinct he goes to cover his abdomen only to be greeted with the soft touch of his own skin and the fine hair trailing toward his pelvis. That isn’t right. He knows it isn’t. He doesn’t fancy himself delusional, that’s just what he told Amelia so he could be accepted again, so that he could get back to the people he loved. He’s almost afraid to open his eyes. If he’s greeted with the harsh reality of a psych ward he’ll know that everything really was fictitious and that he’d broken down and disowned the very life that he was desperate to get back to.
Rolling over into a fetal position and crossing his legs at the ankle Jimmy hoists the fine fabric up and over his head, only partially acknowledging that Egyptian cotton was much too expensive to be in a hospital and not what he dressed his own king size mattress in. He groans, every one of his senses seems to be sending him mixed signals only further adding to his paranoia. At this point he doesn’t want to be roused, not after what he just lived through. It’s only the fond memory of sharing his bed with Amelia that finally wills him into a coherent state, because instinctively he reaches over to the pillow adjacent to him to stroke her soft tawny hair and is greeted with nothing- an emptiness that hits him like another bullet to his chest.
Reluctant to sit up fully Jacob slowly eases himself up right with a hesitance that speaks measures of just how cautious he’s learned to be. It’s really him. Castiel isn’t present. He’s not speaking to himself through mirrors or his reflection in clear reflective surfaces. The only living part of him is himself and there’s not that tight claustrophobic feeling surrounding him anymore. Just the anxiety of knowing this isn’t where he should be and the fear that his situation may have gotten worse, or that Castiel disregarded his pleas to spare his daughter.
He knows he needs to treat this like ripping off a band aid so after a long deep breath, one that ironically doesn’t hurt him at all where he’d been injured Jimmy opens his tired blue eyes to view an opulent room. Something he’s both shocked and angry with simultaneously. He hasn’t seen something this opulent since the summer he took Claire to the Smithsonian. Everything is trimmed and tailored in neutral tones and the architecture isn’t something he’s seen in any magazine or television documentary on the history channel. He’s floored and feeling displaced. So much so that he has to will himself not to cry, instead he reacts the only way he knows how to after being starved for human recognition. He has a full on conniption fit.
He’s not strong enough to flip the bed, and he’s aware of his nudity so he just frustrated thrusts the covers down to his lap and searches for where the bullet had pierced his stomach. The only thing left is a small circular indented scar, he runs his fingers over it, tightens his jaw and glares back at himself in the mirror opposite to him.
“Dammit, Cas!!” He doesn’t care if anyone can hear him. Only one person has to and he desperately hopes that if this is his heaven his prayers can still be reached by the angel that is likely inhabiting his daughter now. “I did EVERYTHING you asked me to!” He takes a ragged breath inward. “She doesn’t deserve this, she’s not… meant for it. Blood, my ass! You know I’m right!” He can’t believe that he didn’t understand enough to grant him that. It’s not like he had much left to be given or to give. His voice trails off into another almost inaudible hoarse curse and then he’s left to fighting the sharp burn of tears.
He stays stalk still until the shaking and the rage subsides he hasn’t yet given himself time to recognize the thin leather belt restricting his throat, it’s actually the sweat rolling down his chin and past his neck from keeping the covers around him in the island weather that cues him into it and then it’s an entire new bodily dispute. He does his best to unfasten it, to remove it, to cut it with anything sharp he can find in the vicinity and even goes so far as to break the mirror with a chair to manage it only giving himself bloody palms and knuckles when he tries to. He doesn’t like the idea of this heaven, he finds it almost ironic, doesn’t want to acknowledge it or the hollow pain that fills his chest when he thinks of how miserable Amelia and Claire must be, he doesn’t even bother to be down about his own situation and himself.
» Journal: bangafewgongs
» Birthdate/Age: July 7th, 1989 (22)
» Characters Played: Dr. Jacob Glaser (twasarobotshead), Remy “Thirteen” Hadley (masochismweekly), Alec McDowell (wisenheimer), Boaz Priestly (femboxes).
CHARACTER
» Name: James “Jimmy” Novak
» Fandom: Supernatural
» Reference: here
» Canon Point: 4x20 “The Rapture,” in the warehouse just after he’s shot while he’s bleeding out, and just before Castiel reclaims him because Jimmy asks him to.
» Gender: Male.
» Age: While no canon specific age is given it’s fair to assume that Jimmy is between his early to late thirties because of Misha’s outward appearance and the fact that he’s been married long term and has a adolescent daughter. His faith also supports this when the timeline is taken into consideration, knowing that Jimmy is too moralistic to have a child out of wedlock or have a shot gun wedding.
» Orientation: Heterosexual; Canonically Jimmy has shown no attraction to anyone of the male orientation and is married to his wife of several years, Amelia Novak, and is the father of a budding young teenage girl Claire Novak.
» Personality: Jimmy Novak is a character that is introduced to us as a flight risk, he has no other option but to abide by a commitment he’d made to an entity no one else believed in after being given the promise of sanctuary for his family as a specification of the agreement. The battle he’s having to fight because of this choice is a losing one and in giving the angel Castiel consent to host he both neglects and puts his family in harms way. Without the possession of his divine counterpart his wife and daughter become an easy target even with the assistance provided by the hunting duo Dean and Sam. An open vessel is like a gazelle with a broken leg by the watering hole and without the upper hand of Castiel in their company Jimmy is left a weakened radio ad salesman with no aptitude for defense against the demons that decide to attack Claire and use Amelia to keep Cas from returning and assisting the Winchesters.
We’re introduced to this character who is both outwardly, inwardly, and intellectually different from the one we associated with prior by seeing the weakness behind vessels and the entire process in which an angel can descend and offer their capabilities to the willing by using the blessed. Castiel provides him direction through random miracles and less than forward means to show him that despite Amelia’s feelings and Claire’s confusion that he is real, that his faith is true, and that he’s needed to carry out part of the bigger plan; a plan that has nothing to do with his two story house and family dinners. It takes some poking and prodding and a nudge here and there in the company of those important to him to persuade him into committing. It’s not long after Jimmy is able to thrust his hand forward into a scalding pot of boiling water and remove it untainted that he dresses to meet one of his father’s children and gives his word where most would be seeking help, and not turning down the medication and offer of psychological assistance that their wives suggest. His permission is granted after he forces the angel in his invisible guise to sweeten the pot by giving his family refuge in his absence and throughout whatever is needed of him. It’s this blind faith and unyielding loyalty that is the highlight of his character and the stability behind every choice that he makes, whether rash or well thought through.
Above all Jimmy seems to be the paragon of humanity and supports every personality trait God had intention for in creating the mortals Castiel so longs to protect. The passion, compassion, will power, and intention in him is unrivaled and unparalleled and although it’s not always handled as gracefully and as unabashedly as it should be he’s still humbled by his life and his accomplishments and doesn’t dabble in any sins save for that of pride supported thoroughly and only by the indignant way in which he chooses to view Castiel’s shortcomings and the life choices of both of the boys that are in his charge. His sole purpose in life is to live it, to live it justly, and to do what he can in the time that he can and leave as much as possible behind. He’s a good husband, a better father, and his drive to keep them safe from harm and ensure their happiness is without pause even in the midst of being told he’s wrong, he’s needed, he’s being foolish, and that he could and might potentially endanger himself as well as them. His heart is as pure as it is big and as they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Despite how honorable his decision may have been it was supported by his loneliness and the strain that being a human vessel can put on ones body and psyche. He was willing to adjust to the life of someone emotionally and mentally handicapped to return to his family and even tells his wife that his absence has been due to a stay at a psychiatric hospital but is quick to renege when she and Claire both are attacked by demons. He screams at the sky in anger to Castiel who has been taken back to the Garrison to be re-indoctrinated, accusing him of not following through with their deal, of taking more than what was on the table and blaming him for the helplessness he was feeling.
He’s a normal guy, with a typical job, and a mundane less than exciting life. He likes red meat, cooking, spending time with his family, and devoting himself to every aspect of these things while putting himself entirely into the progress of the activity or relationship that he’s focused toward. Before the angel sought him out his life was perfect, with little to no melodrama, and he was content with that. It was his need to provide and his more paternal outlook toward Amelia and Claire that lead to him making the choice he did, if he wasn’t beseeched by Castiel he would’ve continued out his life as it proceeded without boredom and without idle hands because he’s well aware of how both can lead to disaster. When Jimmy felt out of place or complacent he’d just set his mind to another task, another goal, and allow himself the room to grow independently and separately from his family whom he always puts first no matter the situation, valuing them as the single most important blessing he’s had in his life.
He’s also fairly sarcastic, when asked how being the vessel of an angel feels he uses a metaphor while gorging himself on fast food, “It’s kind of like being chained to a comet,” Dean replies with a similar sardonic comment mentioning how that might feel and the “tax accountant,” is quick to reply, “Understatement.” He’s open, honest, and deliberate in what he says and does and this just plays into his how facetious he’s capable of being especially when already peeved or irate. He tries to treat most with a kind and accepting regard but is just as capable of getting into bad moods as anyone else especially when faced with problematic circumstance and a lose/lose scenario.
These key traits are carried by him until the very end and through blind faith and sheer testament of will power he’s able to singe handedly stave away both death and fear by remaining placid and taking the bible into consideration and what it means to have the family he does and owe the responsibilities that he has to toward them. He gives up his freedom to protect his twelve year old daughter who is chosen by blood as well and the next candidate to be Castiel’s vessel, he doesn’t want her to live that life, he does what is within his power to provide for her even as he’s lying bleeding out on the floor of the warehouse and as his host calmly tells him what’s in store should the request be granted. He’s altruistic in this choice, and the choice made before the conflict, and always puts those that mean the most to him first before anything else and plays the role he’s supposed to until the bitter end without fault and without affliction.
On that same note he’s not perfect. He’s quick to state his disagreement with something if he really believes it to be true and in the heat of an exasperated moment will make quick and unthought-of decisions to better himself, his goals, or make certain his benefit. He can be selfish, and the entire experience made him doubt his faith and what it meant to be as fervent in his religious choices as he had been. He started to put himself first and reaped the repercussions of that, though his heart was in the right place and the sporadic nature of those reactions and choices were brought on by the need to see his family and make sure they were alright, and the desperation he had to return to his life of normalcy and veer from the catastrophic things he’d had to see and deal with.
A less ambitious and more resentful, envious, man wouldn’t have made the choices he did, and wouldn’t have sacrificed himself not once but twice to carry out good and protect others instead of himself and his own needs. Through and through Jimmy has proven himself to be a hero, not in the same respects as those he’s associated with but on a separate level entirely than what he’s used to or would even take ownership for. He stays true to himself, to his wants, needs, wishes, loves, and concerns and is blatant out right and honest about them even in the face of lesser attributes and his own flaws. He’s not perfect, even when the term paragon is brought into consideration but prior to his life as a vessel he was a man of the cross and he knows as well as any worshiper does that mortals aren’t meant to be perfect and nothing is set in stone.
Castiel and Jimmy: Throughout his time as a glorified meat suit Jimmy was faced with an intense perceptional and physical stretching that extended well beyond what he saw and what his body had to endure not just physically and emotionally but spiritually and intellectually as well. He was shot, stabbed, burnt, blown up. He was on the receiving end of many gruesome attacks and was coherent still in the back of his mind even as Cas was struck down by his own brothers time and time again enough that he could reign the considerable amount of consciousness needed to visit his family, who, whether he’d admit it or not he knew his time with would be short. This even surprised Cas and spoke measures of how diligently he strove to make sure of his families safety and how deeply his love for them ran.
After giving consent not once but a second time after taking the impact of a bullet wound to the abdomen where a major artery was he was sworn into the angels custody again with warning that his life would not get better and that the road they’d travel together could get worse, and it did. He gave his word for the happiness of his wife and child and the promise of their life which would ultimately be better without him, something no man should have to acknowledge, and something no person could walk away from without inevitably breaking, not when they harbored such an indefatigable consistency in their devotedness to them.
At the end of 2009 Castiel was blown up another time by Lucifer himself and brought back once again under the assumption that God had revived him for his service and carrying out his orders, even in the face of burden and rebellion. This time Jimmy was not a part of the renewal and Cas himself goes onto state that Jimmy is silent, that he could be brain dead, and that his presence is no longer constant but instead barely a murmur of what it was the following year. The actor that plays the character states that he believes Jimmy to be an inherent piece of Castiel still but with how much he feeds the press and how inconsistent his remarks to them are my opinion leans more toward canon and the likelihood that the several times Castiel was annihilated led to the impromptu ascending of Jimmy to his own personal heaven, one filled with memories that never included his angel or the favor he did for the apocalypse and the world. The garrison, or his time there, won’t be a remembered part of his conscience because Jimmy will be taken from the very moment before Castiel regains his body after he begs to be taken in the place of his daughter. This is just a simple explanation provided to show the separation between his host and the man behind the angel, if their personality wasn’t antithetic enough.
» Appearance: Standing at six feet exactly Jimmy epitomizes the suburban husband to intricate norms. He dresses crisply in button up shirts and slacks to work and combs his dark brown, almost black, hair over to one side of his head every day while being sure to keep clean shaven. His blue eyes only further darken his already olive toned skin and his charcoal black brows and the stubble lining his jaw add sharper definition to his facial features.
In more leisurely times he can be known to sport an old t-shirt and a pair of work out shorts, his hair in heavy disarray jutting out every which way to compliment his lack of concern for how he looks. He appears to the spectator as average, maybe a little lanky with a runners build, but he doesn’t go out of his way to look too flashy and he’s never dressed up for anyone save Castiel. He’s out of shape and unconditioned to anything but the middle aged household life he’d been living.
Jimmy will be arriving in a two piece navy blue suit with a matching tie and white dress shirt, and a long tan trench coat, both stained in blood.
» Suitability: (Please note, this section only applies if your character was under the age of 18, of ambiguous age, or of ambiguous mental stability. Otherwise, N/A will suffice.)
SAMPLES
» "amatomnes" First-Person Network Entry: {VOICE:}
[It takes a fair bit of maneuvering but finally Jimmy gets the device on, just in time for the island to hear the last bit of his disgruntled mumbling as he makes a final attempt. He’s had a hell of a day.]
Look- I’m not sure if anyone can hear me but I… [He realizes it’s probably hopeless and feels stupid for even talking into the machine and it’s audible in his voice.] I’m not sure where I am, how to get this damn thing…. Off of my neck, and I need someone to look at my hand and just… help, in general.
Has anyone spoken to a woman named Claire? Amelia? [His tone breaks a little on the vowels of their name and he clears his throat to keep face.] I don’t know… Castiel. Dean. Sam. Anyone.
I need to get home.
SOMEONE needs to listen.
» "amatomneslogs" Third-Person Prose Entry: He’s reeling, for a moment he’s sure he can contribute the feeling to the blood he’s lost but all too soon he’s being pulled forward through the tiniest of holes, geometrically incapable of holding his size, crushing his chest, leaving him winded. He’s greeted with reality, or what he’s sure has to be a lucid dream brought on by bleeding out. By instinct he goes to cover his abdomen only to be greeted with the soft touch of his own skin and the fine hair trailing toward his pelvis. That isn’t right. He knows it isn’t. He doesn’t fancy himself delusional, that’s just what he told Amelia so he could be accepted again, so that he could get back to the people he loved. He’s almost afraid to open his eyes. If he’s greeted with the harsh reality of a psych ward he’ll know that everything really was fictitious and that he’d broken down and disowned the very life that he was desperate to get back to.
Rolling over into a fetal position and crossing his legs at the ankle Jimmy hoists the fine fabric up and over his head, only partially acknowledging that Egyptian cotton was much too expensive to be in a hospital and not what he dressed his own king size mattress in. He groans, every one of his senses seems to be sending him mixed signals only further adding to his paranoia. At this point he doesn’t want to be roused, not after what he just lived through. It’s only the fond memory of sharing his bed with Amelia that finally wills him into a coherent state, because instinctively he reaches over to the pillow adjacent to him to stroke her soft tawny hair and is greeted with nothing- an emptiness that hits him like another bullet to his chest.
Reluctant to sit up fully Jacob slowly eases himself up right with a hesitance that speaks measures of just how cautious he’s learned to be. It’s really him. Castiel isn’t present. He’s not speaking to himself through mirrors or his reflection in clear reflective surfaces. The only living part of him is himself and there’s not that tight claustrophobic feeling surrounding him anymore. Just the anxiety of knowing this isn’t where he should be and the fear that his situation may have gotten worse, or that Castiel disregarded his pleas to spare his daughter.
He knows he needs to treat this like ripping off a band aid so after a long deep breath, one that ironically doesn’t hurt him at all where he’d been injured Jimmy opens his tired blue eyes to view an opulent room. Something he’s both shocked and angry with simultaneously. He hasn’t seen something this opulent since the summer he took Claire to the Smithsonian. Everything is trimmed and tailored in neutral tones and the architecture isn’t something he’s seen in any magazine or television documentary on the history channel. He’s floored and feeling displaced. So much so that he has to will himself not to cry, instead he reacts the only way he knows how to after being starved for human recognition. He has a full on conniption fit.
He’s not strong enough to flip the bed, and he’s aware of his nudity so he just frustrated thrusts the covers down to his lap and searches for where the bullet had pierced his stomach. The only thing left is a small circular indented scar, he runs his fingers over it, tightens his jaw and glares back at himself in the mirror opposite to him.
“Dammit, Cas!!” He doesn’t care if anyone can hear him. Only one person has to and he desperately hopes that if this is his heaven his prayers can still be reached by the angel that is likely inhabiting his daughter now. “I did EVERYTHING you asked me to!” He takes a ragged breath inward. “She doesn’t deserve this, she’s not… meant for it. Blood, my ass! You know I’m right!” He can’t believe that he didn’t understand enough to grant him that. It’s not like he had much left to be given or to give. His voice trails off into another almost inaudible hoarse curse and then he’s left to fighting the sharp burn of tears.
He stays stalk still until the shaking and the rage subsides he hasn’t yet given himself time to recognize the thin leather belt restricting his throat, it’s actually the sweat rolling down his chin and past his neck from keeping the covers around him in the island weather that cues him into it and then it’s an entire new bodily dispute. He does his best to unfasten it, to remove it, to cut it with anything sharp he can find in the vicinity and even goes so far as to break the mirror with a chair to manage it only giving himself bloody palms and knuckles when he tries to. He doesn’t like the idea of this heaven, he finds it almost ironic, doesn’t want to acknowledge it or the hollow pain that fills his chest when he thinks of how miserable Amelia and Claire must be, he doesn’t even bother to be down about his own situation and himself.