Bright Lights, Soft Hearts
Challenge: Punishment Fic (challenge three)
Pairing: Xiumin/Sehun
Genre: Friendship
Rating: G
Wordcount: 745 (forgive me for it not being 1000? ;n;)
Summary: Sehun admires the outer city lights when he feels down.
Sehun liked to look at the city lights outside of their dorm window late at night. It was like looking at the stars to him, he liked to invent new constellations out of their patterns. All the members had presumably already gone to bed after a stressful day of preparations for their next album. They had been in the recording studio for almost the entire day, and the entire group looked about ready to pass out by the time they were allowed to return to the dorms. Sehun stayed up to watch the traffic lights flick from green, to yellow, to red. He told himself it was just for fun.
But there was always a reason for his sitting alone in the dorm's living room.
"You're still up?"
Sehun shifted on the dinning chair to meet Xiumin's eyes.
"Yeah," he pressed circles into the side of his arm, where it still slightly ached, "Couldn't sleep."
Xiumin slid into the chair next to his, propping his elbows on the table and leaning his chin on top of his hands.
"Rough day?"
Sehun nodded.
"I can see why. Recordings always need to be just right or they'll call for another take." He empathsised, "They always go pretty hard on you."
Sehun's lips pressed together tightly, his eyes on his fingers that threaded together then apart. "I know I'm not very good at singing, hyung. I'm bringing the rest of the group down."
"Don't say that." Xiumin's voice had a certain stern tone to it, reminding Sehun that behind his adopted "baozi" persona he was sti the eldest member of the group.
When Sehun remained silent, Xiumin continued, "No one in the group thinks that. Don't look down upon yourself so much."
“But, hyung, I’m just a dancer.” lights fluttered outside the window as a plane took off in the distance, “Not even the main one. There’s Jongin, there’s Lay, even Luhan.” Sehun looked visibly deflated. Xiumin rested a hand on his shoulder.
“Sehun, stop comparing yourself to everyone else. Just because Jongin, Lay, and Luhan are good at dancing doesn’t make you any less of an amazing dancer.”
Sehun was silent for a second, eyebrows knitting together, before softening when he looked away from the window to Xiumin. “But even if I improve, SME will still keep Jongin front and center.” He inwardly cringed at how childishly jealous he sounded, “He deserves it though...he’s gifted.That’s how you become The Golden Child of SME.”
“And they push him harder than all of us because of that.” Xiumin stood from his seat, made his way to the kitchen and filled two cups of water. He handed one to Sehun and sipped from the other.
Sehun had to agree to that, Jongin was always the one who had to stay late in the training room, practicing some specialty dance the choreographers planned specifically for him. The dubious amounts of concealer Jongin had to wear to cover the bags forming beneath his eyes were enough proof of his efforts.
But Sehun was still bothered by something.
He traced shapes in the condensation on the outside of his glass, “Do you ever want to be more than just ‘baozi’?”
Xiumin sighed and leaned back in his chair, “Would I have prefered a different image? Maybe so. But part of being an idol is working with what you’ve got. If ‘baozi’ is what the fans want, than ‘baozi’ is what the fans will get.”
“Sometimes I want them to appreciate me for more than my aegyo.” Sehun’s teeth bit down on the inside of his lip, his grip on the glass tightening.
“That’s just where you have to start Sehun. You need to get them to notice you first before you can get them to truly see your other talents. Use aegyo to get more screentime.” Xiumin gave him an affectionate smile, Sehun felt his lips tug upwards.
“Thank you, hyung.” he finished off his water. Xiumin smiled and wrapped an arm over Sehun shoulders.
“I’m going to head to bed. Don’t stay up too much longer.” The arm around Sehun’s shoulder receded and Xiumin pulled himself to his feet.
Sehun nodded and smiled, “I know.”
Sehun looked back out at the thousands of headlights, neon signs, and street lamps and thought that maybe if he couldn’t be the stars, he could be the city lights of Seoul. Not quite as beautiful, not quite as breathtaking, but still just as bright.