Fic: Hold Your Tongue

[chaiteelatte]

Title: Hold Your Tongue
Series: Dark Knight/Batman
Pairing: Gen
Rating: PG-13 (really violent, I think)
Summary: Upon meeting a small child, the Joker learns about an unsavory habit he didn’t know he had.
Notes: Yes, I realize I switch perspective throughout the story; that’s intentional.  I was trying out a new idea for a Joker first perspective

Comments

[tourniquetblood]

Is it surpost to go from The Joker to Me in the same sentence?

And, I think if you set it up as if he's remembering it, it shows more of his insanity if you do keep switching points of view, but if you don't it is a little confusing.

[chaiteelatte]

I'm not really sure I understand what you're saying. The entire thing is Joker first person perspective, but he refers to himself both as "I" and as "the Joker". Every switch, whether from paragraph to paragraph, sentence to sentence, or even in the same sentence was all pretty random while I was writing. I think what I'm wondering is if the switching in POV words makes enough of an impact that it adds to the story and to the point/theme, or if its just distracting.

[tourniquetblood]

I think it's good if you keep to "myself" or "Joker", but if you have in one paragraph "he" and the other "I" that gets a little confusing!

[miss_sigma]

It's a little distracting, but it makes the Joker seem good and manic, and highlights mental illness as a factor of his personality. I like it C:

[lavieverbale]

You don't know me, hello! Got here from darkknightfic, and I really enjoy your take on the verse. This piece, and your others, were really enjoyable! I like that you're writing those offscreen moments, things that are quite likely to happen, just exploring the canon and its possibilities. Major points also for writing gen. I <3 gen.

Anyway, the premise of this fic is perfect, it seems like such a Joker thing to do. I get what you're doing with the POV switches. The Joker sees himself from both first and third person, yes? He's both himself and a disembodied character, simultaneously. I have a hard time imagining first-person narrative from him that doesn't suck, but you did it.

<333.

[chaiteelatte]

Hi! I'm glad you're enjoying my fics. :D If your want, you can friend my writing journal here. I'm in the process of writing a few more Batman fics and I usually post them here before I put them on the communities and ff.net.

Anyways, I'm glad you liked it! The Joker is such a complicated character, but he's a blast to write.

[luthienaogondor]

I think this will always be my favourite fic of yours.

[chaiteelatte]

It's definitely one of my favorites. <3

[akameji]

This does seem like an incident that could have occurred, and I definitely liked how it began. I really liked how it was going through the mother's appearance (reacquiring motherly instincts was an excellent turn of phrase). I think that they focus may have become too broad, then, perhaps.

Sorry that was a bit confused. The whole story still rings true, but it seems like it lost the passion somewhere in the middle. Still great work with the Joker, though!

[chaiteelatte]

Thank you so much for all your comments on my batfics! Haha... stalking my journal is perfectly alright since you've left comments. I'm a little too lazy to reply to all of them, so this is like... response to all of them in one