I hate that feeling of social ickiness. I get it way too often.
I think I just get all torn up over having to not care so that things don't bother me or hurt my feelings which conflicts with wanting to care and be emotionally invested/connected. That, and I say a lot of stupid things because I lose track of all the relevant factors affecting others. Then I realize, after it's out and can't be taken back, that I fucked up again.
The really pathetic part for me, is that I know all of it is just a matter of perception and point of view but the negative view still gets a hold of me more often than I'd like.
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I think I just get all torn up over having to not care so that things don't bother me or hurt my feelings which conflicts with wanting to care and be emotionally invested/connected.
That, and I say a lot of stupid things because I lose track of all the relevant factors affecting others. Then I realize, after it's out and can't be taken back, that I fucked up again.
The really pathetic part for me, is that I know all of it is just a matter of perception and point of view but the negative view still gets a hold of me more often than I'd like.
Caring is just really really hard sometimes.
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