I'm here but why.

Dec 01, 2008 13:06

Apparently work lifted the LJ ban. I wonder if I will come back here to post after being gone ( Read more... )

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Re: Hugs chamilyun December 4 2008, 20:32:24 UTC
thank you for the words of support - i think the biggest hurdle for me is to be honest, more so with myself about how i feel. i like my small victories - i just don't like the feeling of not being able to 'fix' something with them, they are too small, too insignificant and honestly don't matter to many other people outside my head.

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Re: Hugs chamilyun December 5 2008, 23:21:50 UTC
yeah, i know that they should amount to something but like most small things, they tend to get pushed to the side or ignored when a larger issue is presented. i agree with you, its not the people outside my head (tho they scare me too!) but the ones inside my head that fuck you up!

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sending HUGS! kriskin December 2 2008, 02:49:00 UTC
Im miles away and have no idea what's wrong or whom your talking about, but want to send love and good energy.
sorry to hear you are down.
I will always be here even if it's through e-mail miles and miles away. love at kimmy girl dot org

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Re: sending HUGS! chamilyun December 4 2008, 20:33:28 UTC
*hugs* back at you! i remember how happy and cute you were at the faire last I saw you...and now you're all on a new adventure!

things are getting there - thank you for the good thoughts and energy. when the days get gray, it helps :)

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mogchi December 2 2008, 03:53:59 UTC
Writing a journal for yourself sounds like a great idea. I still physically write in one, and oddly enough it helps to get it down and out. Just make sure no one gets it....because it might hurt other people which probably isn't your intention. I know what you mean about not trusting anyone, because I have trouble in that area too. Maybe it's the scorpio in both of us. Once you do find someone you think you can begin to trust or feel like they aren't judging you (I feel like everyone always judges me) then you should totally confide in them. You are so loved by many people!!! I hope you feel better sooner than later. <3

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nakeygirl December 2 2008, 04:09:14 UTC
I love you Lori, and you are always welcome to call me whenever. I miss you and as far as i am away, I still feel very close to you and love you immensely. Writing to yourself helps, at least, it does me, even if only when I look back at it. You should keep writing, and maybe you'll reach a point where you can just spill your guts to and for yourself.

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chamilyun December 4 2008, 20:46:29 UTC
thank you lisa. i love you!

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wolodymyr December 2 2008, 07:12:05 UTC
Holidays suck. Maybe they won't always? But they're sure sucking now!

FWIW, two books. One: The Self-Esteem Guided Journal. It's pretty cannily put together. The other:
http://www.amazon.com/Unstuck-Guide-Seven-Stage-Journey-Depression/dp/1594201668/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1228201787&sr=8-1

I have no idea how it is, but it looked worth a try. Would you like to be part of a two-person book club and read it with me? Maybe it'll be useful, maybe it will be uninformed or off the mark, in which case we can call it names and have an audience.

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chamilyun December 4 2008, 20:36:35 UTC
I think I'll look that book up!

lol I'd be interested in working through it with someone else. My mother gave me 'Discover yourself journaling something or other book' but I didn't synch with it. It was too general and vague that I just didn't buy into it. It's been years since I journaled outside LJ or another online entity - and those old entires were very helpful...the new shit I'm turning out seems to be just a rundown on activities and not a lot of emotion. I need to figure out how to get that back out of me.

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