010 //* My own worst enemy...
I haven't been myself lately. Like, at all. It's even worse than before. You have no idea how many hot girls I could have been hitting on at the bar. But I just gave them their drinks and moved on... This can't be healthy.
When something happens, and like, it hits you hard at first, you don't really realize how bad it hurts until afterward. I mean, you have to actually think it through. And then when you replay it you realize how much of a fucking idiot you are and you don't know how or if you want to fix it.
And I just- ... I don't know. I just want to go back to being the old, happy me, and for some reason it's just really hard, man. And as much as I don't like pretending to be someone I'm not, it's been so much easier for me to pretend I'm happy all the time. Hah, I'm pretty damn good at it.
I want to apologize. Really, really badly.
But... instead I just keep distracting myself.
When something happens, and like, it hits you hard at first, you don't really realize how bad it hurts until afterward. I mean, you have to actually think it through. And then when you replay it you realize how much of a fucking idiot you are and you don't know how or if you want to fix it.
And I just- ... I don't know. I just want to go back to being the old, happy me, and for some reason it's just really hard, man. And as much as I don't like pretending to be someone I'm not, it's been so much easier for me to pretend I'm happy all the time. Hah, I'm pretty damn good at it.
I want to apologize. Really, really badly.
But... instead I just keep distracting myself.