So Much Has Changed
Finally got myself to the doctor, all it took was a fainting fit and Faith.
Got medication now, here's to hoping, it works!
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I'm suffering from Angina, I've looked it up on the net and it's definitely the right diagnosis, that doctor was spot on and all I can hope is, that the medication he gave me works and I won't have to worry about the pain anymore. I can't help but wonder if there's more to this than meets the eye, the whole soul re-insertion thing after all. I don't like passing out, I really don't, I don't like the feeling I get before and after it, all I can say is, I'm glad Faith was there with me, I don't think I could have gone without her. She's becoming a better friend with every day that passes, not like anyone else is being all that much of a friend to me right now.
Giles and Xander have both ganged up on me over this Kennedy thing, maybe I am being unreasonable, I just don't see how taking her into that place, with Sebastian and Willow is going to help us, get Willow back. I know I have to give her a chance to prove herself, redeem herself as it were, but it's Sebastian and Willow in ONE place, she'll be a liability when we go in there, especially with her personal history, won't she? Giles seems to think she can do this and he does spend more time with her than I do, so I guess he should know, they do live together after all.
Me? Jealous of their relationship? Maybe just a little, I miss that kind of relationship, these days, all I get is told what to do or stared at incredulously all because I forgot something. Xander really....well, he's a spineless coward at the moment and I'm trying to be strong for him but to have him lecture me ON top of Giles, is just...something else, I thought Xander of all people would understand, but I guess not. It's not like I can talk to any of them anymore, sometimes I wonder why they bothered to bring me back, why they bothered to rip me from Heaven.
Dawn just avoids me, which hurts...nothing's the same, I miss the old days, I miss....everything. I miss and want Willow back, I just want to get this over with, maybe things will be better after this happens, I can hope can't I?
Who am I kidding? It's one thing after another in this place....
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Going to train for a bit, if anyone wants/needs me, they know where to find me.
Got medication now, here's to hoping, it works!
---------------------
I'm suffering from Angina, I've looked it up on the net and it's definitely the right diagnosis, that doctor was spot on and all I can hope is, that the medication he gave me works and I won't have to worry about the pain anymore. I can't help but wonder if there's more to this than meets the eye, the whole soul re-insertion thing after all. I don't like passing out, I really don't, I don't like the feeling I get before and after it, all I can say is, I'm glad Faith was there with me, I don't think I could have gone without her. She's becoming a better friend with every day that passes, not like anyone else is being all that much of a friend to me right now.
Giles and Xander have both ganged up on me over this Kennedy thing, maybe I am being unreasonable, I just don't see how taking her into that place, with Sebastian and Willow is going to help us, get Willow back. I know I have to give her a chance to prove herself, redeem herself as it were, but it's Sebastian and Willow in ONE place, she'll be a liability when we go in there, especially with her personal history, won't she? Giles seems to think she can do this and he does spend more time with her than I do, so I guess he should know, they do live together after all.
Me? Jealous of their relationship? Maybe just a little, I miss that kind of relationship, these days, all I get is told what to do or stared at incredulously all because I forgot something. Xander really....well, he's a spineless coward at the moment and I'm trying to be strong for him but to have him lecture me ON top of Giles, is just...something else, I thought Xander of all people would understand, but I guess not. It's not like I can talk to any of them anymore, sometimes I wonder why they bothered to bring me back, why they bothered to rip me from Heaven.
Dawn just avoids me, which hurts...nothing's the same, I miss the old days, I miss....everything. I miss and want Willow back, I just want to get this over with, maybe things will be better after this happens, I can hope can't I?
Who am I kidding? It's one thing after another in this place....
---------------------
Going to train for a bit, if anyone wants/needs me, they know where to find me.