Voicemail [Filter: Tina]
Tina, I'm really sorry! You can call off your guard eight year old. Man, she really did earn that Bruiser nickname. My shins took a real beating.
I owe you like crazy. Seriously. Anything you need, just ask. You can even kick my ass.
Again, Worst. Friend. EVER!
I owe you like crazy. Seriously. Anything you need, just ask. You can even kick my ass.
Again, Worst. Friend. EVER!
Comments 1
It's just nice to know where we stand. We've been friends since effing diapers and instead of letting me know you haven't hung yourself from your shower pole, you invite some girl to dinner--which I know is just code for a threesome. Yes, I have my sources. And yes, I know what goes through that tiny, selfish, inefficient pervy caveman brain of yours.
It sucks you missed my birthday, but what sucks more is that I spent it worrying you offed yourself. My father, the Hudsons, Britt, even Artie-effing-Abrams--I heard from all of them before I heard from you.
This robot lady is telling me I'm running out of time to yell at you, so maybe I'll just catch you next time I'm in Lima. In 50 years. If you haven't done anything stupid before then. Later.
Reply
Leave a comment