(no subject)
Extremely long meme. I crapped out around question four and went straight to sarcasm.
1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.
- This should be fun. I only have 111 songs on this computer. Songbird, Bernard Fanning; God Is A DJ, Faithless; Infra-Red, Placebo; Driving With My Monster, And One vs. The Automatic; Zyj Sobie Sam, Zdzslawa Sosnicka
2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
- Defining referent as famous person because I can. Carl Sagan first choice, Gerard Way second choice. I would have trouble talking to either of them, but I suspect so might Geeface.
3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
- "...Hackney-Coachman, in the Hay-Market" and the authorities who ...", from Sodomy and the Pirate Tradition by B.R. Burg
4) What do you think about most?
- Invalid query. Suggests that source of primary thought is consistent entirely across all range of activities, provocations, and states of mind. That said, I think a lot about getting a new job, and that I would like to get laid sometime in this decade.
5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?
- "What time do you want to meet?" from my boss at school.
6) Do you sleep with or without a light on?
- Lately (as in this year) on, but not on purpose.
7) What's your strangest talent?
- Keywording my bullshit pronouncements so well that people don't realise they all boil down to "because I don't want to." Maybe caring that my bullshit pronouncements that mean "because I don't want to" actually make sense even if they're not necessarily 100% factual.
8) Girls.... (finish the sentence); Boys.... (finish the sentence)
- Girls, girls, girls; Boys make the best pets.
9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?
- Yes, actually. Then it was letterpressed. It's hanging on my wall.
10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?
- Probably yesterday during discussion of the Fraternal Order Of The Italian Plumbers that my coworker and I are founding. (Mario hats with elk horns! FTW!)
11) Do you have any strange phobias?
- Statistically no, and they probably don't top out at "phobia" anyway, but I am quite scared of smashed semi-trucks and haunted-hospital setups.
12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
- I was not born from the head of my father fully-formed and past the age of shoving things up my nose, so yes. Most notably, apparently, a blue crayon.
13) What's your religion?
- Your mum. I have much less quibble with spirituality than I do with religion. There isn't an organised religion that I consider to be worth the effort, since the moment you have a hierarchy of intercessionaries telling you how to do religion there are problems. So, apparently, gnostic if I have to define a religion at all.
14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
- Going inside.
15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
- In another room with a drink and a book.
16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
- I'm kind of going through a no-favourite-band stage at the moment. My Chemical Romance is a great (and accurate) default, but I've also been listening to either iTunes on shuffle or dubstep playlists online, so ... that's not a behaviour of "favourite-banding" to me.
17) What was the last lie you told?
- So heinous that small children exploded. It was either when I wrote a cover letter explaining that I find teaching to be like rolling around in flowers while puppies lick you or when I said "My interest rate is more important to me than the tournament I'm going to."
18) Do you believe in karma?
- If not, this last week has been awful enough that I would be on the bridge with one foot over the rail. However, between karma and optimism, I'm just assuming that there is a cute little pony generating all this horseshit. Maybe it's Fluttershy!
19) What does your screen name mean?
- It means I'm tall, female, and not to be fucked with. It also means I really like Warren Ellis, who is a beautiful manatee, and have little to no life outside of banging on about feminism in comics and gaming at comics and gaming shops.
20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
- I pay people for therapy for the former and I have admirers for the latter. Also, I am not able to judge and therefore can't make a categorical statement of impartial judgment about my own abilities. And also, fuck you. But probably procrastination and humour. Or "refusal to deal" and "your mum".
21) Who is your celebrity crush?
- Which one? You mean people out there have only one? Okay. Frances McDormand.
22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
- No. I found better ways to spend my naked-in-public time, by being more naked in more public. Add a bar, subtract water.
23) How do you vent your anger?
- A series of cryptodomes along my spine, much like the Ring Of Fire.
24) Do you have a collection of anything?
- Books, rubber ducks, RDJ movies, patterns, shoes, books, scars.
25) Do you perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
- I prefer reclining on a throne made of solid gold and leopard skin while people who wish to confer with me are paraded in front of me.
26) Are you happy with the person you've become?
- No. The zipper is in the way.
27) What's a sound you hate; sound you love?
- Shrieking children; reverence.
28) What's your biggest "what if"?
- What if I had married Nathan, strangely. Life would be A LOT different. I don't think it would be more satisfying, but it would have been different.
29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
- Qualified acceptance of both entities. Refusal to reject outright the notion of a paranormal world based on experiential evidence leads me to extend acceptance to someone I know and trust who has reported something I classify as a ghost. In the case of aliens, refuse to believe that humanity is the one jackpot of sentient, semi-space-faring species in an entire vast universe. I'm pretty sure they're not making contact with us just to study our buttholes, though.
30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
- A pottery Asian man with a drink; a box of L5R cards.
31) Smell the air. What do you smell?
- Nothing in particular. It's cold out.
32) What's the worst place you have ever been to?
- It's sort of a one-note bro joke around here. I suppose I'll go with "The one-night-stand I went to in Bremerton where the house was so awful (the sex was great) that I had to drive back to Olympia before I felt comfortable using the bathroom." Otherwise: your mum.
33) Choose: East Coast or West Coast?
- Aw. No love for the flyovers? OH WAIT. But seriously, remove the people keeping me in Seattle and I don't care much one way or the other. I'd love to try the East Coast for a while, actually.
34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
- Geeface? RDJ sings. John Hawkes? Mark Lanegan? Why do I keep answering memes?
35) To you, what is the meaning of life?
- American writer. Her poem "The New Colossus" is inscribed on the base of the Statue of Liberty in Upper New York Bay. Wait. That's the meaning of "Lazarus." DAMMIT.
36) Define: Art.
- No.
37) Do you believe in luck?
- I rely on it.
38) What's the weather like right now?
- Greyish. Late-Octoberish in some ways.
39) What time is it?
- 13 o'clock somewhere.
40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
- Yes. But "crashed" sounds so ... controlled. So ... "there was this thing and I ran into it and then the car stopped." So ... Mario Brothers. I would prefer to say that I have been in accidents, since I haven't yet actually given in to the temptation to drive my car into someone else's.
41) What was the last book you read?
- I WAS reading "Imagine" until someone fucking stole it from me! So prior to that, True Grit. Currently I'm reading The Iron Wall, because a little light reading is exactly what the doctor apparently failed to order. MY GOD THIS IS A DENSE BOOK.
42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?
- Yes. Also the colours.
43) Do you have any nicknames?
- No, I don't know anyone. I have no friends and therefore no nicknames. I was raised in a box by Cambodian revolutionaries who had an imperfect grasp of English and therefore chose not to speak to me ever. Pick one.
44) What was the last movie you saw?
- L'Argent, a 1928 French silent movie. It was more than mildly terrible and FAR TOO LONG, at over three hours.
45) What's the worst injury you've ever had?
- First of all, you "receive" injury, not "have" injury, at least in the grammatical sense you seem to be using. Secondly, I would have to say that being sent away from my rightful family, the royal family of Ruritania, is the injury beyond all others and that I have not recovered from it.
46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?
- Yes. Then I trafficked in it.
47) Do you have any obsessions right now?
- I have an obsessive, addictive personality and a moderate touch of OCD. WHAT DO YOU THINK.
48) What's your ?
- Cucumber.
49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?
- No human contact before the age of 28, so no.
50) Do you believe in magic?
- That's shockingly unspecific. Are we talking "Do you believe in David Copperfield's magic," or are we talking, like, plate-smashing sympathetic magic, or maybe something along the lines of predictive magic? I believe in a lot of magic, but I'm going to arbitrarily label the writer of this meme an uneducated fourteen year old and say "Not the kind you believe in."
51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
- No. It's much more efficient to get them stuffed and mounted. Plus, paying the taxidermist keeps the money in circulation, and as I understand the Republican position for much of the last 12 years, that's the main thing.
52) What is your astrological sign?
- Libra or dragon depending on your system. Both fit.
53) Do you save money or spend it?
- I'm compelled to spend it due to universe-fuckery.
54) What's the last thing you purchased?
- A stay of execution on my credit card bill.
55) Love or lust?
- Good god, if you can't actually ask a question, stop writing memes! Anyway, right now I'd take the pantsfeelings over the brainfeelings.
56) In a relationship?
- With my creditors, yes.
57) Are you a virgin?
- Sure!
58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
- No. But I CAN touch your nose with this comedy mallet.
59) Where were you yesterday?
- What are you, my stalker? Fine. I was at work, the printer's, the bank, the OTHER bank, lost in Ballard, cruising up 99, at the comics shop, drinking at the comics shop after moving shit at the comics shop, cruising down 99, trying to get home before the need for the bathroom was impossible. HAPPY NOW?
60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
- Yes. It's a polka dot plant. And that is merely the first thing my eye lit on, considering that a ten-foot radius from me would pretty much encompass my entire apartment.
61) Are you wearing socks right now?
- I'm not even wearing pants.
62) What's your favorite animal?
- Penguins. Dogs. Bears. Slow lorises. Horses. Wolves. Gerenuks. Springboks.
63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
- Real weapons.
64) Where is your best friend?
- Wherever she wants to be.
65) Chocolate or vanilla?
- Creme brulee.
66) What is your heritage?
- White with a side of extra white.
67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?
- Filling out a job application.
68) What do you think is Satan's last name?
- Pessimal.
69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?
- Ooh, masturbation, so scandalous! Nope. No interest.
70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
- That's ... really very inception. I suspect you mean "the kind of PERSON".
71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
- Save the dog and quit dramatically, preferably in a way that gets me arrested for assault, because man, fuck that guy.
72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
- I am out of emergency planning at the moment, please try again never.
73) You can only have one of these things: trust or love.
- Trust. Wait, how on EARTH could you have only ONE of these things? It's mighty difficult to have the one without the other!
74) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
- The This Day Aria from My Little Pony.
75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?
- IVVIIIX
76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
- Duct tape.
77) How can I win your heart?
- Don't be a 14 year old meme writer on the internet.
78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?
- Physiologically, yes. Certain types of what is defined as "insanity", including but not limited to depression among others, are states that generate a much higher rate of interconnection in the brain, and since interconnections in the brain are how ideas, innovations, and creativity happen, mental illness is frequently (though not always and not mandatorily) a good impetus for creativity. Artists really ARE eating their pain, in other words.
79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
- It ain't "choosing to answer this meme," I'll tell you that much. But I feel pretty good about the giant brownie I had for breakfast.
80) What size shoes do you wear?
- Clown.
81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
- I would prefer to be staked out naked on Mt. Rainier and eaten by birds. No tombstone required! Otherwise, I'd like a carved representation of the coinbox on those airplane and car and pony rides you see outside of grocery stores. Complete with slot. LEAVE THEM WONDERING.
82) What is your favorite word?
- "Cockhat", currently. I also particularly like "flywheel" and "teraflop".
83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: heart.
- "The Tell-Tale."
84) What is a saying you say a lot?
- "Bite my ass."
85) What's the last song you listened to?
- "Blood On My Name".
86) Basic question: what's your favorite color/colors?
- For what?
87) What is your current desktop picture?
- Some horrible default HP bullshit.
88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
- I would only want that button if it had about 2000 uses on it.
89) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?
- Being afraid to tell the truth is the pansy way out. If you don't want to tell the truth, tell it anyway but make the presentation either so over-the-top no one believes you or make the surrounding story the issue. I learned that in a bar in Valdosta, Georgia, in 1912.
90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?
- Probably shriek a bunch and hyperventilate while trying to climb onto the ceiling. Give me a few days and things might calm down. Mummies are kind of awesome, and as a bonus they don't generally smell bad.
91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
- Controlled LaserVision. Destroys idiots, leaves buildings standing!
92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
- The half hour where I didn't argue with my dad over parking on the street outside the movie theater, didn't take my computer into the theater with me, and didn't go back out to get my bag and go home because the movie was so awful.
93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
- See above.
94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
- NO ONE. I have preemptive performance anxiety ALREADY, I don't need that. Though I would, in theory, not mind banging RDJ like a screen door. Maybe if there was going to be, like, a guaranteed injury from, like, a trapeze or something, causing mild amnesia, I could get on board with the idea. (Please note that I am avoiding the pun here.)
95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
- Kazakhstan.
96) Do you have any relatives in jail?
- Define "jail". I don't think so, though; far as I know, my uncle hasn't gone back to the pen.
97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?
- As a conscious being in charge of my actions ... I don't think so. I remember I had a dentist appointment once when I was so hungover I THOUGHT I was going to throw up. Also, it turns out that Corningware is harder than glass, so I scratched the passenger window with the Corningware I brought to throw up IN.
98) Ever been on a plane?
- No, I jetskied to England.
99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?
- "You were made ... to be ruled." I'm sorry; do you honestly expect that anyone has a speech prepared for that eventuality?
1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.
- This should be fun. I only have 111 songs on this computer. Songbird, Bernard Fanning; God Is A DJ, Faithless; Infra-Red, Placebo; Driving With My Monster, And One vs. The Automatic; Zyj Sobie Sam, Zdzslawa Sosnicka
2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
- Defining referent as famous person because I can. Carl Sagan first choice, Gerard Way second choice. I would have trouble talking to either of them, but I suspect so might Geeface.
3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
- "...Hackney-Coachman, in the Hay-Market" and the authorities who ...", from Sodomy and the Pirate Tradition by B.R. Burg
4) What do you think about most?
- Invalid query. Suggests that source of primary thought is consistent entirely across all range of activities, provocations, and states of mind. That said, I think a lot about getting a new job, and that I would like to get laid sometime in this decade.
5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?
- "What time do you want to meet?" from my boss at school.
6) Do you sleep with or without a light on?
- Lately (as in this year) on, but not on purpose.
7) What's your strangest talent?
- Keywording my bullshit pronouncements so well that people don't realise they all boil down to "because I don't want to." Maybe caring that my bullshit pronouncements that mean "because I don't want to" actually make sense even if they're not necessarily 100% factual.
8) Girls.... (finish the sentence); Boys.... (finish the sentence)
- Girls, girls, girls; Boys make the best pets.
9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?
- Yes, actually. Then it was letterpressed. It's hanging on my wall.
10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?
- Probably yesterday during discussion of the Fraternal Order Of The Italian Plumbers that my coworker and I are founding. (Mario hats with elk horns! FTW!)
11) Do you have any strange phobias?
- Statistically no, and they probably don't top out at "phobia" anyway, but I am quite scared of smashed semi-trucks and haunted-hospital setups.
12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
- I was not born from the head of my father fully-formed and past the age of shoving things up my nose, so yes. Most notably, apparently, a blue crayon.
13) What's your religion?
- Your mum. I have much less quibble with spirituality than I do with religion. There isn't an organised religion that I consider to be worth the effort, since the moment you have a hierarchy of intercessionaries telling you how to do religion there are problems. So, apparently, gnostic if I have to define a religion at all.
14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
- Going inside.
15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
- In another room with a drink and a book.
16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
- I'm kind of going through a no-favourite-band stage at the moment. My Chemical Romance is a great (and accurate) default, but I've also been listening to either iTunes on shuffle or dubstep playlists online, so ... that's not a behaviour of "favourite-banding" to me.
17) What was the last lie you told?
- So heinous that small children exploded. It was either when I wrote a cover letter explaining that I find teaching to be like rolling around in flowers while puppies lick you or when I said "My interest rate is more important to me than the tournament I'm going to."
18) Do you believe in karma?
- If not, this last week has been awful enough that I would be on the bridge with one foot over the rail. However, between karma and optimism, I'm just assuming that there is a cute little pony generating all this horseshit. Maybe it's Fluttershy!
19) What does your screen name mean?
- It means I'm tall, female, and not to be fucked with. It also means I really like Warren Ellis, who is a beautiful manatee, and have little to no life outside of banging on about feminism in comics and gaming at comics and gaming shops.
20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
- I pay people for therapy for the former and I have admirers for the latter. Also, I am not able to judge and therefore can't make a categorical statement of impartial judgment about my own abilities. And also, fuck you. But probably procrastination and humour. Or "refusal to deal" and "your mum".
21) Who is your celebrity crush?
- Which one? You mean people out there have only one? Okay. Frances McDormand.
22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
- No. I found better ways to spend my naked-in-public time, by being more naked in more public. Add a bar, subtract water.
23) How do you vent your anger?
- A series of cryptodomes along my spine, much like the Ring Of Fire.
24) Do you have a collection of anything?
- Books, rubber ducks, RDJ movies, patterns, shoes, books, scars.
25) Do you perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
- I prefer reclining on a throne made of solid gold and leopard skin while people who wish to confer with me are paraded in front of me.
26) Are you happy with the person you've become?
- No. The zipper is in the way.
27) What's a sound you hate; sound you love?
- Shrieking children; reverence.
28) What's your biggest "what if"?
- What if I had married Nathan, strangely. Life would be A LOT different. I don't think it would be more satisfying, but it would have been different.
29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
- Qualified acceptance of both entities. Refusal to reject outright the notion of a paranormal world based on experiential evidence leads me to extend acceptance to someone I know and trust who has reported something I classify as a ghost. In the case of aliens, refuse to believe that humanity is the one jackpot of sentient, semi-space-faring species in an entire vast universe. I'm pretty sure they're not making contact with us just to study our buttholes, though.
30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
- A pottery Asian man with a drink; a box of L5R cards.
31) Smell the air. What do you smell?
- Nothing in particular. It's cold out.
32) What's the worst place you have ever been to?
- It's sort of a one-note bro joke around here. I suppose I'll go with "The one-night-stand I went to in Bremerton where the house was so awful (the sex was great) that I had to drive back to Olympia before I felt comfortable using the bathroom." Otherwise: your mum.
33) Choose: East Coast or West Coast?
- Aw. No love for the flyovers? OH WAIT. But seriously, remove the people keeping me in Seattle and I don't care much one way or the other. I'd love to try the East Coast for a while, actually.
34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
- Geeface? RDJ sings. John Hawkes? Mark Lanegan? Why do I keep answering memes?
35) To you, what is the meaning of life?
- American writer. Her poem "The New Colossus" is inscribed on the base of the Statue of Liberty in Upper New York Bay. Wait. That's the meaning of "Lazarus." DAMMIT.
36) Define: Art.
- No.
37) Do you believe in luck?
- I rely on it.
38) What's the weather like right now?
- Greyish. Late-Octoberish in some ways.
39) What time is it?
- 13 o'clock somewhere.
40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
- Yes. But "crashed" sounds so ... controlled. So ... "there was this thing and I ran into it and then the car stopped." So ... Mario Brothers. I would prefer to say that I have been in accidents, since I haven't yet actually given in to the temptation to drive my car into someone else's.
41) What was the last book you read?
- I WAS reading "Imagine" until someone fucking stole it from me! So prior to that, True Grit. Currently I'm reading The Iron Wall, because a little light reading is exactly what the doctor apparently failed to order. MY GOD THIS IS A DENSE BOOK.
42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?
- Yes. Also the colours.
43) Do you have any nicknames?
- No, I don't know anyone. I have no friends and therefore no nicknames. I was raised in a box by Cambodian revolutionaries who had an imperfect grasp of English and therefore chose not to speak to me ever. Pick one.
44) What was the last movie you saw?
- L'Argent, a 1928 French silent movie. It was more than mildly terrible and FAR TOO LONG, at over three hours.
45) What's the worst injury you've ever had?
- First of all, you "receive" injury, not "have" injury, at least in the grammatical sense you seem to be using. Secondly, I would have to say that being sent away from my rightful family, the royal family of Ruritania, is the injury beyond all others and that I have not recovered from it.
46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?
- Yes. Then I trafficked in it.
47) Do you have any obsessions right now?
- I have an obsessive, addictive personality and a moderate touch of OCD. WHAT DO YOU THINK.
48) What's your ?
- Cucumber.
49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?
- No human contact before the age of 28, so no.
50) Do you believe in magic?
- That's shockingly unspecific. Are we talking "Do you believe in David Copperfield's magic," or are we talking, like, plate-smashing sympathetic magic, or maybe something along the lines of predictive magic? I believe in a lot of magic, but I'm going to arbitrarily label the writer of this meme an uneducated fourteen year old and say "Not the kind you believe in."
51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
- No. It's much more efficient to get them stuffed and mounted. Plus, paying the taxidermist keeps the money in circulation, and as I understand the Republican position for much of the last 12 years, that's the main thing.
52) What is your astrological sign?
- Libra or dragon depending on your system. Both fit.
53) Do you save money or spend it?
- I'm compelled to spend it due to universe-fuckery.
54) What's the last thing you purchased?
- A stay of execution on my credit card bill.
55) Love or lust?
- Good god, if you can't actually ask a question, stop writing memes! Anyway, right now I'd take the pantsfeelings over the brainfeelings.
56) In a relationship?
- With my creditors, yes.
57) Are you a virgin?
- Sure!
58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
- No. But I CAN touch your nose with this comedy mallet.
59) Where were you yesterday?
- What are you, my stalker? Fine. I was at work, the printer's, the bank, the OTHER bank, lost in Ballard, cruising up 99, at the comics shop, drinking at the comics shop after moving shit at the comics shop, cruising down 99, trying to get home before the need for the bathroom was impossible. HAPPY NOW?
60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
- Yes. It's a polka dot plant. And that is merely the first thing my eye lit on, considering that a ten-foot radius from me would pretty much encompass my entire apartment.
61) Are you wearing socks right now?
- I'm not even wearing pants.
62) What's your favorite animal?
- Penguins. Dogs. Bears. Slow lorises. Horses. Wolves. Gerenuks. Springboks.
63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
- Real weapons.
64) Where is your best friend?
- Wherever she wants to be.
65) Chocolate or vanilla?
- Creme brulee.
66) What is your heritage?
- White with a side of extra white.
67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?
- Filling out a job application.
68) What do you think is Satan's last name?
- Pessimal.
69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?
- Ooh, masturbation, so scandalous! Nope. No interest.
70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
- That's ... really very inception. I suspect you mean "the kind of PERSON".
71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
- Save the dog and quit dramatically, preferably in a way that gets me arrested for assault, because man, fuck that guy.
72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
- I am out of emergency planning at the moment, please try again never.
73) You can only have one of these things: trust or love.
- Trust. Wait, how on EARTH could you have only ONE of these things? It's mighty difficult to have the one without the other!
74) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
- The This Day Aria from My Little Pony.
75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?
- IVVIIIX
76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
- Duct tape.
77) How can I win your heart?
- Don't be a 14 year old meme writer on the internet.
78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?
- Physiologically, yes. Certain types of what is defined as "insanity", including but not limited to depression among others, are states that generate a much higher rate of interconnection in the brain, and since interconnections in the brain are how ideas, innovations, and creativity happen, mental illness is frequently (though not always and not mandatorily) a good impetus for creativity. Artists really ARE eating their pain, in other words.
79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
- It ain't "choosing to answer this meme," I'll tell you that much. But I feel pretty good about the giant brownie I had for breakfast.
80) What size shoes do you wear?
- Clown.
81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
- I would prefer to be staked out naked on Mt. Rainier and eaten by birds. No tombstone required! Otherwise, I'd like a carved representation of the coinbox on those airplane and car and pony rides you see outside of grocery stores. Complete with slot. LEAVE THEM WONDERING.
82) What is your favorite word?
- "Cockhat", currently. I also particularly like "flywheel" and "teraflop".
83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: heart.
- "The Tell-Tale."
84) What is a saying you say a lot?
- "Bite my ass."
85) What's the last song you listened to?
- "Blood On My Name".
86) Basic question: what's your favorite color/colors?
- For what?
87) What is your current desktop picture?
- Some horrible default HP bullshit.
88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
- I would only want that button if it had about 2000 uses on it.
89) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?
- Being afraid to tell the truth is the pansy way out. If you don't want to tell the truth, tell it anyway but make the presentation either so over-the-top no one believes you or make the surrounding story the issue. I learned that in a bar in Valdosta, Georgia, in 1912.
90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?
- Probably shriek a bunch and hyperventilate while trying to climb onto the ceiling. Give me a few days and things might calm down. Mummies are kind of awesome, and as a bonus they don't generally smell bad.
91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
- Controlled LaserVision. Destroys idiots, leaves buildings standing!
92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
- The half hour where I didn't argue with my dad over parking on the street outside the movie theater, didn't take my computer into the theater with me, and didn't go back out to get my bag and go home because the movie was so awful.
93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
- See above.
94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
- NO ONE. I have preemptive performance anxiety ALREADY, I don't need that. Though I would, in theory, not mind banging RDJ like a screen door. Maybe if there was going to be, like, a guaranteed injury from, like, a trapeze or something, causing mild amnesia, I could get on board with the idea. (Please note that I am avoiding the pun here.)
95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
- Kazakhstan.
96) Do you have any relatives in jail?
- Define "jail". I don't think so, though; far as I know, my uncle hasn't gone back to the pen.
97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?
- As a conscious being in charge of my actions ... I don't think so. I remember I had a dentist appointment once when I was so hungover I THOUGHT I was going to throw up. Also, it turns out that Corningware is harder than glass, so I scratched the passenger window with the Corningware I brought to throw up IN.
98) Ever been on a plane?
- No, I jetskied to England.
99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?
- "You were made ... to be ruled." I'm sorry; do you honestly expect that anyone has a speech prepared for that eventuality?