Beloved Rival
Title: Beloved Rival
Pairing: Donghyuk/Junhwe
Genre: Fluff
Rating: G
Word Count: 5120w
Summary: They’re supposed to mutually hate each other. But then Junhwe sees him crying.
A/N: 5000 words of typical high school Junhwe-Donghyuk dynamic. Written for the prompt “don’t tell anyone you saw me crying” but I’m fucking trash for Jundong so this is very, very self-indulgent. LOL pls send help
Junhwe doesn't know what to say, really.
Kim Donghyuk, his rival, his arch-nemesis, is sitting in a hidden corner only he's supposed to know. There, Kim Donghyuk sits, in all his glory, in his ugly sky blue sweater and round-framed glasses, his brown hair falling over his eyes as he looks down at his worn-out black high-top converse. It's Junhwe's favorite spot to sit in and hide, skip a class or two, listen to music and sleep or read webtoons and eat lunch whenever he's feeling less sociable and can't be bothered to listen to Jinhwan's endless nagging.
The first thought that runs through Junhwe's head is, Kim Donghyuk has found my secret spot and now I have no choice but to destroy him and erase his memories.
Then again, when is Junhwe not trying to destroy Kim Donghyuk? The shorter, skinnier boy is always first in everything. English, chemistry, biology, physics, math, even Junhwe's best subject, which is geography. He's good at literally every subject. He's always first, and Junhwe tails behind at second. Junhwe wants to see Donghyuk suffer and burn in second place one day.
His parents are constantly pressuring him to become more like Donghyuk whenever his teachers compare the two of them during parent-teacher conferences. Donghyuk is nicer, never gets into trouble, has higher scores than Junhwe even if by 0,3 points, has a generally positive reputation and lots of friends, and he's class president. He has everything. What more can a parent ask for, really?
Meanwhile, Junhwe? The only achievements he has are his scores (and even then he comes second to Donghyuk) and basketball (his height is his only advantage when Donghyuk and him are going head to head in PE or friendly matches after school).
Really, he's sick of Donghyuk, his parents, and school. This is his escape, his hidden spot, one where he can be free of pressure and any other disturbing thoughts, where he can just let go of everything, and he feels destroyed (and robbed) now that Donghyuk has found it. He doesn't even know how Donghyuk found it, but he did. Then again, it’s probably not as secluded as he thinks it is, and now he's there.
Donghyuk just spoils everything.
In a burst of anger, Junhwe stomps over to Donghyuk.
"Kim Donghyuk!" He yells, and Donghyuk looks up, eyes wide.
"Junhwe? What are you doing here?"
"What are you doing here?" Junhwe huffs. "This is my spot! I've had it for years!"
Donghyuk blinks and looks away. "Oh. Well I guess I should leave. I'm sorry."
Junhwe tilts his head. No yelling? He's not gonna pick a fight? Really? This is unlike Donghyuk, who always finds a way to rile Junhwe up and then laugh at him for taking the bait. Mock him, tease him, make fun of him--that's Donghyuk.
Instead, Donghyuk just gives up.
"That's it?" Junhwe asks as he looks at Donghyuk packing his things up.
Donghyuk doesn't reply. He wipes his eyes and--oh. That's when Junhwe realizes Donghyuk was crying.
"Were you crying?"
Donghyuk's eyes widen at the question and he whips around to look at Junhwe. Junhwe has an eyebrow raised, looking smug and mostly just amused, and Donghyuk just wants to wipe that look off his face with his fist, but then Junhwe.
Of all people, Goo Junhwe found him crying.
This is perfect blackmail material for Junhwe, and bad news for Donghyuk. If someone finds out Donghyuk skipped class to cry in a hidden corner of the school, what would that say about him?
If Goo Junhwe finds out Donghyuk skipped class to cry in a hidden corner of the school...
"Please don't tell anyone." Donghyuk begs, hands on Junhwe's, eyes big and pleading and Junhwe looks back at him with a questioning look on his face.
What has gone into Donghyuk?
"Why? Why shouldn't I tell anyone?"
"Just--please. Please, please, please."
Junhwe doesn't know how to respond. Donghyuk seems sincere enough, even going so far as to beg Junhwe (no, Donghyuk doesn't beg to anyone, especially not Junhwe) but then.
Donghyuk crying.
Donghyuk fucking crying.
His legs are itching to run and his mouth is itching to laugh and tell someone about this, but Donghyuk is begging him and holding his hands like his life depends on it.
And then Junhwe thinks, I'm not that heartless. I can at least be nice, right?
"Okay."
"Okay?" Donghyuk sounds confused now, sniffling and looking up at Junhwe, who's a whole head taller than he is. Junhwe just... Gave up. Which is strange, considering it’s Goo Junhwe.
Donghyuk's not sure if he should feel glad or suspicious.
"Okay. I said okay." Junhwe repeats.
"I... Thank you?" Donghyuk's a little confused, but he'll take it. He'll have to believe Junhwe won't spread it. "I mean, you really promise you won't tell anyone?"
"Why should I?" Junhwe asks, and it really does sound suspicious coming out from the mouth of a Goo Junhwe who (is supposed to) hate his guts and just wants to destroy his life because he’s always ahead of the taller dude in everything.
Junhwe doesn't know what it’s like. Being number one isn’t really the best thing on earth, after all. He's constantly being pressured, he has to be the best, and he'd give anything to be second to Junhwe, but it's amusing seeing Junhwe so frustrated and angry at him.
"Thank you!" Donghyuk sighs in relief. He just has to believe Junhwe. It's the only thing he can do now.
He hopes he can believe Junhwe.
---
There's a tiny suspicion in Donghyuk's heart that everyone knows but they're not saying anything, or they just don't care enough because it's Junhwe, who’s always trying to take Donghyuk down.
Either way, he's still on edge.
Biology is boring, but he pays attention if only to beat Junhwe at every question Mrs. Kwon asks.
Things are awkward, though, if only because he makes it so. During lunch, Yunhyeong is chatty and Chanwoo is super sweet--as usual--but he can't help feeling weird. Something tells him Junhwe is just waiting for the right moment to start talking. Tell everyone Kim Donghyuk skips class to cry. Over something strange, he’s sure Junhwe would exaggerate. And then it would catch the right person’s ear (Lee Suhyun, most likely) and word spreads like wildfire at a school like this. He’s screwed.
He glances at Junhwe, who sits in the basketball team's table. Donghyuk wonders if the times he's not able to find him there with Bobby and Hanbin, or on a separate table with Jinhwan, he's in that hidden corner he said he's had for years.
"Are you listening?" Chanwoo shakes Donghyuk's shoulder lightly, and Donghyuk stares at him.
"Huh?"
"Oh my God, stop staring at Bobby, you're so obvious with that crush of yours!" Yunhyeong whispers and Chanwoo giggles.
"Bobby?"
"Yes, Bobby. You like him, right? You've been staring at him for weeks!"
He looks away from them and down at his food. Yunhyeong giggles and Chanwoo makes a loud “ooh” noise, but Donghyuk can’t be bothered to tell them to shut up or deny that he likes Bobby. He doesn’t like Bobby in that way, at least, he’s just a nice friend from English club. He lends everyone books all the time. Surprisingly a very deep guy when it comes to things like that but hey, that’s not why he’s not gonna deny liking Bobby. They can make their own assumptions. He can't tell his friends he was staring at his one and only rival Junhwe, right? He doesn’t even remember when everyone started calling them rivals, or who started it. Just why. Because Junhwe is always trying so hard to be ahead of Donghyuk at all times, at everything they do, and it’s really amusing. Chanwoo calls him the tall guy who just can’t see the apple at the top of the tree, but he’s climbing it anyways just in case it’s the right tree and Donghyuk has started climbing, and even if it ends up being the wrong tree, he continues on anyways because Donghyuk hasn’t been there before or just isn’t there yet. It’s a strange analogy, but then again, it’s Chanwoo. He’s a little bit strange.
Also, have they always noticed that he stares at the basketball team's table during lunch? Does he really do it that often? Does he do it unconsciously, out of habit, perhaps? After all, he did have a crush on Hanbin for some time.
Maybe he should be more discreet about the staring thing. Maybe he should stop staring at Junhwe altogether.
---
Junhwe thinks about it at night, before he sleeps. What could Donghyuk be crying about? He has the perfect life.
He's class president, he has the friends, the reputation, the scores, the rank, the fanbase, and of course, all his achievements whether it be academic or non-academic... He has everything most students could only dream of. He has the highest chance of making it to the top 3 universities, or even a university abroad, since he’s so good at English. He’s in the English club, for fuck’s sake. He’s like, really good at pronouncing stuff. He’s even better than THE native speaker Bobby. He's smart. He's really fucking smart. He doesn't look too bad as well--he's good-looking, Junhwe will admit, and Junhwe knows Donghyuk dances because he's seen the video circulating around the girls at school. He's every girl's crush and every boy's enemy. He gets more chocolates, flowers, and letters during valentine's than Junhwe. He’s so fucking humble about it as well, which frustrates Junhwe, who’s just itching to brag about his latest achievements to someone who will listen.
So, what could he be crying about?
Junhwe wants to ask. But he doesn't want to know.
Why does he even care, really? Maybe it bothers him that Donghyuk, THE Kim Donghyuk, who has everything, still cries about something while here Junhwe lies, content about his life except for the part where Kim Donghyuk exists.
No, he doesn't care. Donghyuk can cry about whatever and he doesn't have to know--it's none of his business anyways.
---
Junhwe catches Donghyuk crying again during a party at Jinhwan's place. There's lots of booze and questionable snacks, so naturally, of course, there’s lots of very drunk people. Junhwe does not want to be one of them, so he passes on the brownies and the chips and settles to only drinking still-sealed, non-questionable stuff, and never leaving his drink anywhere. It's a graduation party, which should be pretty tame (but Junhwe plays it safe anyways) and he's really only invited because he's Jinhwan's favorite junior, and he actually contemplated not going until Bobby mentioned that Donghyuk would be there because he had kindly invited the kid. Bobby didn’t show up for some reason (it’s a fucking party! How could he not be here?), but because it’s easier to reason with his brain when Kim Donghyuk is involved, here he is, at 1AM, lightly buzzed on two cans of beer because of his low tolerance, and standing right in front of a crying Donghyuk, who’s sitting on the grass.
"Are you crying?" It's a dumb question that Junhwe blames on the beer. He feels stupid, but what’s done is done.
Donghyuk looks up and proceeds to sob harder. He's half-hidden by a bush and Junhwe's 90% sure he's more drunk than Junhwe is, but how can he be sure when the boy in question is crying so hard he can't even breathe properly, and sitting between bushes in Jinhwan’s dark backyard. Maybe that's why he's so sure Donghyuk is drunk.
Junhwe crouches in front of Donghyuk.
"Dude, that's so fucking gross, you have snot running down your nose."
Donghyuk looks up at Junhwe, face red (which Junhwe can't tell if it's from all the crying, the alcohol, or the cold) and trying his hardest to stop crying because God damn it, it's Goo Junhwe again. Of all people.
"How many drinks did you have? Oh my fucking God, get out of there, that's so fucking gross, people pee and throw up here all the time, get up!" Junhwe tugs at Donghyuk's sleeves but Donghyuk doesn't budge, wailing and hiccuping. Junhwe stands up.
"Come on, you fucking idiot! Get the fuck out of there!"
"No!" Donghyuk whines. "Get off me, Junhwe!"
That senior Jinhwan is friends with stares at them weirdly. Junhwe remembers his name, kind of--Nam Taehyun?--but he can't be bothered. He doesn't realize how suspicious he and Donghyuk looks right now, with him forcefully trying to pull Donghyuk up and out of the gross bush and Donghyuk crying on his knees, yelling at Junhwe to get off him.
"Shit, whatever. If someone sees you crying they might not be as nice as me you know."
Donghyuk whimpers, hitting Junhwe's legs. Taehyun throws them a concerned glance from where he's sitting on Jinhwan's bench, with a drunk Kang Seungyoon next to him. Junhwe recognizes Seungyoon's loud voice as he sings and giggles at the same time. Junhwe doesn't even know why he's trying to save Donghyuk right now. He's not sure if he's in his right mind but he could care less--if someone needs help, he will help. He's not heartless.
"You idiot! Go away! I hate you!" Donghyuk yells and Junhwe groans.
"Do you need me to call Jinhwan?" Taehyun yells from where he's sat, struggling against a red-faced and touchy Seungyoon, and Junhwe shakes his head. The last thing he needs is Jinhwan meddling in, and possibly making the situation worse than it already is.
"Get off me!" Donghyuk yells when Junhwe grabs his sleeve again. Junhwe groans.
"Fine! What if someone fucking sees you?! You're class president for fuck's sake!"
"WHY DO YOU CARE!" Donghyuk screams and Taehyun is coming closer.
"Need help?" Taehyun asks.
"No, we're good." Junhwe offers Taehyun a reassuring grin but Taehyun just looks really worried.
"He doesn't look so well."
"When does he look well." Junhwe frowns. "He looks terrible to me all the time. Wow, shit, is this how a class president should act like?"
Taehyun chuckles. "Well, look at how Seungyoon is acting right now."
Junhwe looks at a passed out Seungyoon on the bench. Junhwe frowns and looks down at Donghyuk.
"You might want to get away, he looks like he's about to--"
Throw up.
That night, Donghyuk throws up on Junhwe.
---
Junhwe still remembers it, obviously. But it doesn't seem like Donghyuk remembers and he's a bit bothered by that fact because he had been the one to personally carry Donghyuk all the way to the boy's home, and had his favorite jeans and sneakers vomited on. He had to wash it himself in fear of his mom finding out, asking him what happened (which he isn’t sure he can even explain properly), and then telling his dad and getting him into a week-long punishment. Then again, he's pretty sure he got Donghyuk into trouble when his mom opened the door looking super mad, and it's a good thing Donghyuk is asleep in his arms instead of awake and sobbing his life away.
It's not the best night of his (their) life(s).
No, it's enough that only Taehyun knows what happened that night. Taehyun is quiet and though Junhwe only knows him from a distance, he knows Taehyun isn't the type to gossip. Besides, he’s graduating soon.
He doesn't know why he cares. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it's because he's too nice (his sister keeps telling him that). He's just glad nobody saw them that night and Taehyun had been kind enough to keep it a secret. He knows how devastated Donghyuk would be if someone found out and he got reported on.
Why does Junhwe care, again?
Donghyuk is grounded, Junhwe can see. Donghyuk doesn't carry his phone and iPod everywhere for a week and he looks sullen. Donghyuk mentioned once that his iPod is his whole life, which Junhwe thinks might be an exaggeration, but then he sees how lifeless Donghyuk becomes without his iPod. Junhwe feels guilty for getting him into trouble by not sneaking him in somehow, but then again, they were never really friends, so Junhwe doesn't know how to sneak him in. Had it been Bobby or Hanbin, he would’ve thrown them over their windows.
Why does he feel guilty?
He should be happy, right?
But seeing Donghyuk drunk and crying still bothers him like the first time he'd caught Donghyuk crying.
---
Usually, the teachers never put Junhwe and Donghyuk as partners during partner projects so they can help the other students improve their scores. It doesn't mean that they were never paired up, though, for harder projects and stuff. But it just so happens that that Monday, Junhwe skipped school and Donghyuk caught a cold, so both of them were absent, and ended up getting paired up together for biology.
Junhwe's not sure if it's living hell or living hell.
"Plant observation. Great." Junhwe groans. Plant observation with Donghyuk. Boring and unpleasant. His favorite combination.
Donghyuk blows his nose and sighs. "My house or yours?"
---
The morning glory they've been assigned to observe is small, and hangs quietly above the windows above the sink in Junhwe's house. Since Junhwe can't be bothered to water it, he asks his mom to do it instead. All he does is note whatever the teacher has asked him to note down, and that's what he spends his breakfast and evenings doing.
"Your house is nice." Donghyuk says once Junhwe's mom has left the living room that Wednesday afternoon. There's a plate of biscuits and a jug of juice between them. The plant sits on the floor next to Junhwe, flower wilted already since it's 4PM.
"Thanks." Junhwe taps his pen on the table. They've always done previous projects at Donghyuk's house or a nearby cafe. It’s Donghyuk’s first time visiting.
"So? Can I see your observation?"
Junhwe pushes his paper across the table. Projects with Donghyuk are always like this--Donghyuk makes him do all the work and then he comments on how Junhwe does it.
"You didn't note down the time?" Donghyuk's tone is accusing and Junhwe wants to snap at him.
"I did. I'm not an idiot, Donghyuk. I know what I'm doing."
"Okay. That's good."
That's good. Junhwe rolls his eyes and mimics the way Donghyuk said it, frowning.
"What?" Donghyuk raises an eyebrow.
"Nothing." Junhwe huffs.
"What? Are you gonna be angry at me for no reason again?"
"Oh, I have a reason, alright." Junhwe scoffs.
"Oh really? A real complaint? Something more believable than 'I'm better than you'?" God damn it. That was one time during basketball!
Junhwe rolls his eyes. "Of course you don't remember. You were shitfaced drunk."
Donghyuk's hand freezes from where he's copying Junhwe's observation paper. He looks up at Junhwe, face panicking but his tone sounds challenging when he says, "I want to know when."
"Jinhwan hyung's party. You were crying behind a bush and you threw up on me."
"Liar. I don't remember."
"Of course you don't, you were drunk." Junhwe leaves out the part where he takes Donghyuk home because the boy doesn’t need to know that, he’ll just get angry at Junhwe for getting him into trouble and then complain about how he should’ve just left him alone at the party. That honestly sounds like something he’d say, instead of thanking Junhwe for taking him home safely. Safely.
"And why haven't I heard of this from someone else's mouth? Surely, at a party of that scale..."
Junhwe scoffs. "You won't believe it from me? Ask Taehyun sunbaenim, he was there. You have a thing for crying in hidden places only I know how to find, huh."
Donghyuk is quiet as he writes.
"You threw up on my nice jeans and shoes, Donghyuk."
Donghyuk doesn't reply.
---
"Who have you told?" Donghyuk grabs Junhwe's elbow and pulls him aside during PE. Chanwoo is getting knocked over by Hanbin and he's bleeding. Donghyuk should care, Chanwoo is his best friend, but Junhwe is a more pressing matter.
"Told what? Dude, Chanwoo is bleeding, go help him or something."
"Who, Junhwe? Who else besides Taehyun sunbae saw me like that at the party?"
"Seungyoon sunbaenim saw us because he was with Taehyun sunbaenim, but I doubt he remembers, he passed out when you started yelling at me like a--oh my God, is Chanwoo gonna be okay?"
Hanbin is screaming in horror as he realizes what he's done, and he looks so fucking dumb that it would be hilarious if Chanwoo isn't bleeding really badly right now and he isn’t Donghyuk and Junhwe's mutual friend. Donghyuk glances at them but looks back at Junhwe, face stern. Hanbin is apologizing really loudly, half-sobbing, and Junhwe turns to look at them when Chanwoo yelps.
Junhwe runs to Chanwoo's side instead.
---
"Oh God, what the fuck--" Junhwe blinks his eyes open when he feels something poke him. He's napping in his hidden spot when Donghyuk starts poking him with his knees, standing over him and blocking the sun, the wind blowing his hair.
"Go away." Junhwe croaks out, voice thick and raspy from sleep, but Donghyuk keeps insistently poking at Junhwe.
"Ugh, can't you just leave me alone?! What do you want from me?!" Junhwe sits up. "Fine! Have it! Math is next anyways and since you won't be there, I will."
Junhwe stands up and dusts himself, picking up his bag from the bench. He slings it over his shoulder while Donghyuk sits down on the bench and pats the spot next to him. Junhwe tilts his head, confused.
"What?"
Donghyuk sighs. He takes out his iPod and puts one earbud in, offering the other one to Junhwe.
"Is this your way of getting me to skip math so I'll get a lower score than you at the next test?"
"Sorry about your jeans." Donghyuk says. "And your shoes."
Junhwe is silent. Then he takes the earbud and sits down next to Donghyuk, putting the earbud in. Coldplay is playing and Junhwe sighs. Donghyuk has always had such a nice taste in music. He wishes he didn’t dislike Donghyuk so much. If they weren’t constantly at war to get the highest scores and be number one. They could really talk about music. They could discuss it really deeply if they wanted to, but. Then again. They’re kind of rivals, or something. He’s pretty sure that will keep them from having a nice, civilized conversation about music. A common interest.
"I'm glad you didn't tell anyone about that one time you found me here. And the party. I'm glad you made Taehyun sunbae keep it a secret."
"You're welcome." Junhwe grunts.
"I suppose you don't have any intentions of spreading it to everyone?"
Junhwe shrugs. "Dunno. Wouldn't benefit me."
Donghyuk laughs. "It would. You just... Didn't care for it, huh?"
Junhwe frowns. He's not sure why they're talking about this. Then again, why else would Donghyuk be talking to him seriously if it weren't for this?
"You're not gonna ask me why I cried?" Donghyuk asks, voice quiet. The song changes to Drake and it sets the mood wrong, but Junhwe doesn't care. Donghyuk is pressed up against his side and they're close--too close. Junhwe’s pretty sure he can start counting Donghyuk’s eyelashes. Junhwe scoots away a little and tries to focus on remembering the lyrics to Hotline Bling instead of the way Donghyuk's pushing his glasses up with his finger.
"Well. I don't know. It's none of my business."
Donghyuk sighs, leaning back against the bench.
They spend the rest of the school day listening to music in silence. Junhwe hates that he likes Donghyuk's playlist, and the fact that he kind of wants to share his with Donghyuk. Would he like it as much as Junhwe liked his?
---
"Oh." Junhwe stops when he sees Donghyuk sitting alone in the corner, crying. It's late, the library's about to close, and Donghyuk is so well hidden Junhwe wouldn't have found him if he wasn't looking for a book on titration.
"Shit, why do you always catch me?" Donghyuk laughs bitterly as he takes off his glasses and wipes his tears. Junhwe sits down across him.
"The library's closing in half an hour. Let's get out of here."
"Okay." Donghyuk puts his glasses back on and follows Junhwe out the library door after checking out the book. They walk in the general direction of Donghyuk's home in silence. Junhwe’s starting to regret asking Donghyuk to leave with him, but he’d felt more comfortable with the boy ever since that time they skipped classes listening to Donghyuk’s iPod.
"I don't... Wanna go home." Donghyuk says when he realizes Junhwe is leading him towards his home.
"Why?"
"Can we go somewhere?" Donghyuk asks. Junhwe looks at him and Donghyuk quickly adds, "If you don't mind, of course."
"No. I don't mind."
---
They have tea at a nearby cafe. Junhwe doesn't mind spending the last bits of his pocket money for this week on expensive tea and snacks, especially if it's for Donghyuk.
Wait.
"I'm tired." Donghyuk suddenly says.
"We can go home. I'll walk you."
"No, I mean... Tired. Of everything. Of being on top all the time. It gets tiring." Donghyuk says.
"Oh." Junhwe frowns. "Well, it's tiring being second. Everyone compares me to you. It's so fucking irritating."
Donghyuk smiles. "We’re rivals, aren’t we? I wish I know how to be as carefree as you. You seem so... Effortlessly smart. You don't have to try so hard. You're smart, Junhwe."
"You're smarter than me." Junhwe replies.
"I'm not smart. I'm just hard-working. It's different."
It is. Junhwe knows it's different. But Donghyuk is so naturally talented. He just doesn't see it himself.
"You're talented." Junhwe shrugs. "You can dance and stuff. It's really cool, everyone likes you because you can dance."
"And that's exactly why. Nobody likes me because I'm me. Nobody likes me for who I am." Donghyuk sighs. Tears are starting to pool in his eyes but Junhwe chooses to ignore it--if Donghyuk wants to cry, let him cry.
"Nobody likes me because I'm me, they only like me because I can dance and because I have good scores, because I’m smart. That's not important! That's not me! Nobody listens to my worries, and I'm so tired of having to keep listening. I'm tired of everything, Junhwe. Why can't I be myself? Why is it that I always have to be perfect?"
Junhwe watches as Donghyuk works himself up and drives himself into a corner. Junhwe's not sure what to do this time now that he actually knows why Donghyuk's crying.
"But you have everything." Junhwe mutters. Donghyuk sniffles.
Donghyuk just looks sad as he smiles at Junhwe. "Don't I? I have everything everyone wants, but I'm not happy."
"Well, if it makes any difference, I like you because you’re my annoying rival. I don’t know what I’d do without you." Junhwe blurts out. He blushes, but Donghyuk doesn’t seem affected by it.
Honestly, he’s thought about it before. If Donghyuk were to just suddenly disappear one day, or if he just never existed… What would he do? Would he still work as hard to be number one, no matter if the person he’s competing with is Donghyuk or not? Or is he only doing this because it’s Donghyuk? Would Donghyuk do this if Junhwe isn’t there? Are they only here because they competed with each other and people around them started calling them rivals? Enemies? They should probably hate each other, but here they are...
"Don't lie. You only pity me."
"I don't pity you."
"I'm sorry you even have to listen to this. You just paid for our drinks and snacks and now I'm dumping all this on you. I'm so sorry."
"Don't be. I mean it. It's fine." Junhwe shrugs. "It's nothing. You can talk to me anytime."
"I... Thank you." Donghyuk wipes his tears. "Wow, this is embarrassing."
Junhwe rolls his eyes. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. I mean it, Donghyuk. I'm here if you need to talk. I'm here to listen."
"Thank you. I don't want to burden you, but..."
"Oh come on. You threw up on me and I didn't complain. This is nothing." He doesn’t know why he’s doing this. Maybe he’s just too kind. There’s a strange feeling in his heart. He can’t blame it on anything, now. He genuinely wants to help Donghyuk, but he’s not sure why.
Donghyuk's eyes widen at the mention of the incident. "I'm really sorry about that! I should buy you a new pair of jeans and shoes!"
"No, fuck. Forget it.” He checks his phone. “It's late. Let's go home?" Junhwe offers his hand.
"Let's!" Donghyuk smiles, linking his fingers with Junhwe's as they stand.
"And I mean it, Donghyuk. You might not believe me but I like you. I do."
"I like you, too, Junhwe. I like you, too."
---
(((BONUSSSSSUUUUU)))
"Happy birthday, you senseless idiot."
Junhwe looks down at the neatly wrapped present thrown onto his desk. Donghyuk is standing in front of him.
"Huh?"
"Happy birthday." Donghyuk pushes the present to Junhwe. "This is a present for you."
"Oh. I know." Junhwe replies intelligently. He's an idiot when it comes to Donghyuk, and Bobby will not shut up about how whipped Junhwe is. Junhwe won’t admit it to Bobby’s face, but he is. He’s fucking whipped.
"I hope you like it."
Junhwe unwraps the present. The class is empty at 6:30 AM, and Junhwe doesn't bother to properly throw away the wrapper. He tears through them and throws them onto the floor. Donghyuk picks it up for him.
A nice pair of blue jeans. Junhwe grins.
"Nice."
"I hope it fits you! Style-wise and size-wise. If not, then, you can always exchange it, I have the receipt."
"Wow, careful as always." Junhwe rolls his eyes. Nerd. His nerd. "Don't worry, I like it. I'll try it on later. Thank you."
Donghyuk smiles. Junhwe grabs Donghyuk's tie--he's wearing a cardigan today, because Junhwe had told him he looked cuter in a cardigan--and Donghyuk leans down, noses touching with Junhwe.
"Thank you, stupid." Junhwe smiles and pecks Donghyuk's lips.
"You're welcome, idiot. Happy birthday.”
Junhwe knows he’s hopeless. But he doesn’t mind it. He doesn’t mind it at all.
Pairing: Donghyuk/Junhwe
Genre: Fluff
Rating: G
Word Count: 5120w
Summary: They’re supposed to mutually hate each other. But then Junhwe sees him crying.
A/N: 5000 words of typical high school Junhwe-Donghyuk dynamic. Written for the prompt “don’t tell anyone you saw me crying” but I’m fucking trash for Jundong so this is very, very self-indulgent. LOL pls send help
Junhwe doesn't know what to say, really.
Kim Donghyuk, his rival, his arch-nemesis, is sitting in a hidden corner only he's supposed to know. There, Kim Donghyuk sits, in all his glory, in his ugly sky blue sweater and round-framed glasses, his brown hair falling over his eyes as he looks down at his worn-out black high-top converse. It's Junhwe's favorite spot to sit in and hide, skip a class or two, listen to music and sleep or read webtoons and eat lunch whenever he's feeling less sociable and can't be bothered to listen to Jinhwan's endless nagging.
The first thought that runs through Junhwe's head is, Kim Donghyuk has found my secret spot and now I have no choice but to destroy him and erase his memories.
Then again, when is Junhwe not trying to destroy Kim Donghyuk? The shorter, skinnier boy is always first in everything. English, chemistry, biology, physics, math, even Junhwe's best subject, which is geography. He's good at literally every subject. He's always first, and Junhwe tails behind at second. Junhwe wants to see Donghyuk suffer and burn in second place one day.
His parents are constantly pressuring him to become more like Donghyuk whenever his teachers compare the two of them during parent-teacher conferences. Donghyuk is nicer, never gets into trouble, has higher scores than Junhwe even if by 0,3 points, has a generally positive reputation and lots of friends, and he's class president. He has everything. What more can a parent ask for, really?
Meanwhile, Junhwe? The only achievements he has are his scores (and even then he comes second to Donghyuk) and basketball (his height is his only advantage when Donghyuk and him are going head to head in PE or friendly matches after school).
Really, he's sick of Donghyuk, his parents, and school. This is his escape, his hidden spot, one where he can be free of pressure and any other disturbing thoughts, where he can just let go of everything, and he feels destroyed (and robbed) now that Donghyuk has found it. He doesn't even know how Donghyuk found it, but he did. Then again, it’s probably not as secluded as he thinks it is, and now he's there.
Donghyuk just spoils everything.
In a burst of anger, Junhwe stomps over to Donghyuk.
"Kim Donghyuk!" He yells, and Donghyuk looks up, eyes wide.
"Junhwe? What are you doing here?"
"What are you doing here?" Junhwe huffs. "This is my spot! I've had it for years!"
Donghyuk blinks and looks away. "Oh. Well I guess I should leave. I'm sorry."
Junhwe tilts his head. No yelling? He's not gonna pick a fight? Really? This is unlike Donghyuk, who always finds a way to rile Junhwe up and then laugh at him for taking the bait. Mock him, tease him, make fun of him--that's Donghyuk.
Instead, Donghyuk just gives up.
"That's it?" Junhwe asks as he looks at Donghyuk packing his things up.
Donghyuk doesn't reply. He wipes his eyes and--oh. That's when Junhwe realizes Donghyuk was crying.
"Were you crying?"
Donghyuk's eyes widen at the question and he whips around to look at Junhwe. Junhwe has an eyebrow raised, looking smug and mostly just amused, and Donghyuk just wants to wipe that look off his face with his fist, but then Junhwe.
Of all people, Goo Junhwe found him crying.
This is perfect blackmail material for Junhwe, and bad news for Donghyuk. If someone finds out Donghyuk skipped class to cry in a hidden corner of the school, what would that say about him?
If Goo Junhwe finds out Donghyuk skipped class to cry in a hidden corner of the school...
"Please don't tell anyone." Donghyuk begs, hands on Junhwe's, eyes big and pleading and Junhwe looks back at him with a questioning look on his face.
What has gone into Donghyuk?
"Why? Why shouldn't I tell anyone?"
"Just--please. Please, please, please."
Junhwe doesn't know how to respond. Donghyuk seems sincere enough, even going so far as to beg Junhwe (no, Donghyuk doesn't beg to anyone, especially not Junhwe) but then.
Donghyuk crying.
Donghyuk fucking crying.
His legs are itching to run and his mouth is itching to laugh and tell someone about this, but Donghyuk is begging him and holding his hands like his life depends on it.
And then Junhwe thinks, I'm not that heartless. I can at least be nice, right?
"Okay."
"Okay?" Donghyuk sounds confused now, sniffling and looking up at Junhwe, who's a whole head taller than he is. Junhwe just... Gave up. Which is strange, considering it’s Goo Junhwe.
Donghyuk's not sure if he should feel glad or suspicious.
"Okay. I said okay." Junhwe repeats.
"I... Thank you?" Donghyuk's a little confused, but he'll take it. He'll have to believe Junhwe won't spread it. "I mean, you really promise you won't tell anyone?"
"Why should I?" Junhwe asks, and it really does sound suspicious coming out from the mouth of a Goo Junhwe who (is supposed to) hate his guts and just wants to destroy his life because he’s always ahead of the taller dude in everything.
Junhwe doesn't know what it’s like. Being number one isn’t really the best thing on earth, after all. He's constantly being pressured, he has to be the best, and he'd give anything to be second to Junhwe, but it's amusing seeing Junhwe so frustrated and angry at him.
"Thank you!" Donghyuk sighs in relief. He just has to believe Junhwe. It's the only thing he can do now.
He hopes he can believe Junhwe.
---
There's a tiny suspicion in Donghyuk's heart that everyone knows but they're not saying anything, or they just don't care enough because it's Junhwe, who’s always trying to take Donghyuk down.
Either way, he's still on edge.
Biology is boring, but he pays attention if only to beat Junhwe at every question Mrs. Kwon asks.
Things are awkward, though, if only because he makes it so. During lunch, Yunhyeong is chatty and Chanwoo is super sweet--as usual--but he can't help feeling weird. Something tells him Junhwe is just waiting for the right moment to start talking. Tell everyone Kim Donghyuk skips class to cry. Over something strange, he’s sure Junhwe would exaggerate. And then it would catch the right person’s ear (Lee Suhyun, most likely) and word spreads like wildfire at a school like this. He’s screwed.
He glances at Junhwe, who sits in the basketball team's table. Donghyuk wonders if the times he's not able to find him there with Bobby and Hanbin, or on a separate table with Jinhwan, he's in that hidden corner he said he's had for years.
"Are you listening?" Chanwoo shakes Donghyuk's shoulder lightly, and Donghyuk stares at him.
"Huh?"
"Oh my God, stop staring at Bobby, you're so obvious with that crush of yours!" Yunhyeong whispers and Chanwoo giggles.
"Bobby?"
"Yes, Bobby. You like him, right? You've been staring at him for weeks!"
He looks away from them and down at his food. Yunhyeong giggles and Chanwoo makes a loud “ooh” noise, but Donghyuk can’t be bothered to tell them to shut up or deny that he likes Bobby. He doesn’t like Bobby in that way, at least, he’s just a nice friend from English club. He lends everyone books all the time. Surprisingly a very deep guy when it comes to things like that but hey, that’s not why he’s not gonna deny liking Bobby. They can make their own assumptions. He can't tell his friends he was staring at his one and only rival Junhwe, right? He doesn’t even remember when everyone started calling them rivals, or who started it. Just why. Because Junhwe is always trying so hard to be ahead of Donghyuk at all times, at everything they do, and it’s really amusing. Chanwoo calls him the tall guy who just can’t see the apple at the top of the tree, but he’s climbing it anyways just in case it’s the right tree and Donghyuk has started climbing, and even if it ends up being the wrong tree, he continues on anyways because Donghyuk hasn’t been there before or just isn’t there yet. It’s a strange analogy, but then again, it’s Chanwoo. He’s a little bit strange.
Also, have they always noticed that he stares at the basketball team's table during lunch? Does he really do it that often? Does he do it unconsciously, out of habit, perhaps? After all, he did have a crush on Hanbin for some time.
Maybe he should be more discreet about the staring thing. Maybe he should stop staring at Junhwe altogether.
---
Junhwe thinks about it at night, before he sleeps. What could Donghyuk be crying about? He has the perfect life.
He's class president, he has the friends, the reputation, the scores, the rank, the fanbase, and of course, all his achievements whether it be academic or non-academic... He has everything most students could only dream of. He has the highest chance of making it to the top 3 universities, or even a university abroad, since he’s so good at English. He’s in the English club, for fuck’s sake. He’s like, really good at pronouncing stuff. He’s even better than THE native speaker Bobby. He's smart. He's really fucking smart. He doesn't look too bad as well--he's good-looking, Junhwe will admit, and Junhwe knows Donghyuk dances because he's seen the video circulating around the girls at school. He's every girl's crush and every boy's enemy. He gets more chocolates, flowers, and letters during valentine's than Junhwe. He’s so fucking humble about it as well, which frustrates Junhwe, who’s just itching to brag about his latest achievements to someone who will listen.
So, what could he be crying about?
Junhwe wants to ask. But he doesn't want to know.
Why does he even care, really? Maybe it bothers him that Donghyuk, THE Kim Donghyuk, who has everything, still cries about something while here Junhwe lies, content about his life except for the part where Kim Donghyuk exists.
No, he doesn't care. Donghyuk can cry about whatever and he doesn't have to know--it's none of his business anyways.
---
Junhwe catches Donghyuk crying again during a party at Jinhwan's place. There's lots of booze and questionable snacks, so naturally, of course, there’s lots of very drunk people. Junhwe does not want to be one of them, so he passes on the brownies and the chips and settles to only drinking still-sealed, non-questionable stuff, and never leaving his drink anywhere. It's a graduation party, which should be pretty tame (but Junhwe plays it safe anyways) and he's really only invited because he's Jinhwan's favorite junior, and he actually contemplated not going until Bobby mentioned that Donghyuk would be there because he had kindly invited the kid. Bobby didn’t show up for some reason (it’s a fucking party! How could he not be here?), but because it’s easier to reason with his brain when Kim Donghyuk is involved, here he is, at 1AM, lightly buzzed on two cans of beer because of his low tolerance, and standing right in front of a crying Donghyuk, who’s sitting on the grass.
"Are you crying?" It's a dumb question that Junhwe blames on the beer. He feels stupid, but what’s done is done.
Donghyuk looks up and proceeds to sob harder. He's half-hidden by a bush and Junhwe's 90% sure he's more drunk than Junhwe is, but how can he be sure when the boy in question is crying so hard he can't even breathe properly, and sitting between bushes in Jinhwan’s dark backyard. Maybe that's why he's so sure Donghyuk is drunk.
Junhwe crouches in front of Donghyuk.
"Dude, that's so fucking gross, you have snot running down your nose."
Donghyuk looks up at Junhwe, face red (which Junhwe can't tell if it's from all the crying, the alcohol, or the cold) and trying his hardest to stop crying because God damn it, it's Goo Junhwe again. Of all people.
"How many drinks did you have? Oh my fucking God, get out of there, that's so fucking gross, people pee and throw up here all the time, get up!" Junhwe tugs at Donghyuk's sleeves but Donghyuk doesn't budge, wailing and hiccuping. Junhwe stands up.
"Come on, you fucking idiot! Get the fuck out of there!"
"No!" Donghyuk whines. "Get off me, Junhwe!"
That senior Jinhwan is friends with stares at them weirdly. Junhwe remembers his name, kind of--Nam Taehyun?--but he can't be bothered. He doesn't realize how suspicious he and Donghyuk looks right now, with him forcefully trying to pull Donghyuk up and out of the gross bush and Donghyuk crying on his knees, yelling at Junhwe to get off him.
"Shit, whatever. If someone sees you crying they might not be as nice as me you know."
Donghyuk whimpers, hitting Junhwe's legs. Taehyun throws them a concerned glance from where he's sitting on Jinhwan's bench, with a drunk Kang Seungyoon next to him. Junhwe recognizes Seungyoon's loud voice as he sings and giggles at the same time. Junhwe doesn't even know why he's trying to save Donghyuk right now. He's not sure if he's in his right mind but he could care less--if someone needs help, he will help. He's not heartless.
"You idiot! Go away! I hate you!" Donghyuk yells and Junhwe groans.
"Do you need me to call Jinhwan?" Taehyun yells from where he's sat, struggling against a red-faced and touchy Seungyoon, and Junhwe shakes his head. The last thing he needs is Jinhwan meddling in, and possibly making the situation worse than it already is.
"Get off me!" Donghyuk yells when Junhwe grabs his sleeve again. Junhwe groans.
"Fine! What if someone fucking sees you?! You're class president for fuck's sake!"
"WHY DO YOU CARE!" Donghyuk screams and Taehyun is coming closer.
"Need help?" Taehyun asks.
"No, we're good." Junhwe offers Taehyun a reassuring grin but Taehyun just looks really worried.
"He doesn't look so well."
"When does he look well." Junhwe frowns. "He looks terrible to me all the time. Wow, shit, is this how a class president should act like?"
Taehyun chuckles. "Well, look at how Seungyoon is acting right now."
Junhwe looks at a passed out Seungyoon on the bench. Junhwe frowns and looks down at Donghyuk.
"You might want to get away, he looks like he's about to--"
Throw up.
That night, Donghyuk throws up on Junhwe.
---
Junhwe still remembers it, obviously. But it doesn't seem like Donghyuk remembers and he's a bit bothered by that fact because he had been the one to personally carry Donghyuk all the way to the boy's home, and had his favorite jeans and sneakers vomited on. He had to wash it himself in fear of his mom finding out, asking him what happened (which he isn’t sure he can even explain properly), and then telling his dad and getting him into a week-long punishment. Then again, he's pretty sure he got Donghyuk into trouble when his mom opened the door looking super mad, and it's a good thing Donghyuk is asleep in his arms instead of awake and sobbing his life away.
It's not the best night of his (their) life(s).
No, it's enough that only Taehyun knows what happened that night. Taehyun is quiet and though Junhwe only knows him from a distance, he knows Taehyun isn't the type to gossip. Besides, he’s graduating soon.
He doesn't know why he cares. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it's because he's too nice (his sister keeps telling him that). He's just glad nobody saw them that night and Taehyun had been kind enough to keep it a secret. He knows how devastated Donghyuk would be if someone found out and he got reported on.
Why does Junhwe care, again?
Donghyuk is grounded, Junhwe can see. Donghyuk doesn't carry his phone and iPod everywhere for a week and he looks sullen. Donghyuk mentioned once that his iPod is his whole life, which Junhwe thinks might be an exaggeration, but then he sees how lifeless Donghyuk becomes without his iPod. Junhwe feels guilty for getting him into trouble by not sneaking him in somehow, but then again, they were never really friends, so Junhwe doesn't know how to sneak him in. Had it been Bobby or Hanbin, he would’ve thrown them over their windows.
Why does he feel guilty?
He should be happy, right?
But seeing Donghyuk drunk and crying still bothers him like the first time he'd caught Donghyuk crying.
---
Usually, the teachers never put Junhwe and Donghyuk as partners during partner projects so they can help the other students improve their scores. It doesn't mean that they were never paired up, though, for harder projects and stuff. But it just so happens that that Monday, Junhwe skipped school and Donghyuk caught a cold, so both of them were absent, and ended up getting paired up together for biology.
Junhwe's not sure if it's living hell or living hell.
"Plant observation. Great." Junhwe groans. Plant observation with Donghyuk. Boring and unpleasant. His favorite combination.
Donghyuk blows his nose and sighs. "My house or yours?"
---
The morning glory they've been assigned to observe is small, and hangs quietly above the windows above the sink in Junhwe's house. Since Junhwe can't be bothered to water it, he asks his mom to do it instead. All he does is note whatever the teacher has asked him to note down, and that's what he spends his breakfast and evenings doing.
"Your house is nice." Donghyuk says once Junhwe's mom has left the living room that Wednesday afternoon. There's a plate of biscuits and a jug of juice between them. The plant sits on the floor next to Junhwe, flower wilted already since it's 4PM.
"Thanks." Junhwe taps his pen on the table. They've always done previous projects at Donghyuk's house or a nearby cafe. It’s Donghyuk’s first time visiting.
"So? Can I see your observation?"
Junhwe pushes his paper across the table. Projects with Donghyuk are always like this--Donghyuk makes him do all the work and then he comments on how Junhwe does it.
"You didn't note down the time?" Donghyuk's tone is accusing and Junhwe wants to snap at him.
"I did. I'm not an idiot, Donghyuk. I know what I'm doing."
"Okay. That's good."
That's good. Junhwe rolls his eyes and mimics the way Donghyuk said it, frowning.
"What?" Donghyuk raises an eyebrow.
"Nothing." Junhwe huffs.
"What? Are you gonna be angry at me for no reason again?"
"Oh, I have a reason, alright." Junhwe scoffs.
"Oh really? A real complaint? Something more believable than 'I'm better than you'?" God damn it. That was one time during basketball!
Junhwe rolls his eyes. "Of course you don't remember. You were shitfaced drunk."
Donghyuk's hand freezes from where he's copying Junhwe's observation paper. He looks up at Junhwe, face panicking but his tone sounds challenging when he says, "I want to know when."
"Jinhwan hyung's party. You were crying behind a bush and you threw up on me."
"Liar. I don't remember."
"Of course you don't, you were drunk." Junhwe leaves out the part where he takes Donghyuk home because the boy doesn’t need to know that, he’ll just get angry at Junhwe for getting him into trouble and then complain about how he should’ve just left him alone at the party. That honestly sounds like something he’d say, instead of thanking Junhwe for taking him home safely. Safely.
"And why haven't I heard of this from someone else's mouth? Surely, at a party of that scale..."
Junhwe scoffs. "You won't believe it from me? Ask Taehyun sunbaenim, he was there. You have a thing for crying in hidden places only I know how to find, huh."
Donghyuk is quiet as he writes.
"You threw up on my nice jeans and shoes, Donghyuk."
Donghyuk doesn't reply.
---
"Who have you told?" Donghyuk grabs Junhwe's elbow and pulls him aside during PE. Chanwoo is getting knocked over by Hanbin and he's bleeding. Donghyuk should care, Chanwoo is his best friend, but Junhwe is a more pressing matter.
"Told what? Dude, Chanwoo is bleeding, go help him or something."
"Who, Junhwe? Who else besides Taehyun sunbae saw me like that at the party?"
"Seungyoon sunbaenim saw us because he was with Taehyun sunbaenim, but I doubt he remembers, he passed out when you started yelling at me like a--oh my God, is Chanwoo gonna be okay?"
Hanbin is screaming in horror as he realizes what he's done, and he looks so fucking dumb that it would be hilarious if Chanwoo isn't bleeding really badly right now and he isn’t Donghyuk and Junhwe's mutual friend. Donghyuk glances at them but looks back at Junhwe, face stern. Hanbin is apologizing really loudly, half-sobbing, and Junhwe turns to look at them when Chanwoo yelps.
Junhwe runs to Chanwoo's side instead.
---
"Oh God, what the fuck--" Junhwe blinks his eyes open when he feels something poke him. He's napping in his hidden spot when Donghyuk starts poking him with his knees, standing over him and blocking the sun, the wind blowing his hair.
"Go away." Junhwe croaks out, voice thick and raspy from sleep, but Donghyuk keeps insistently poking at Junhwe.
"Ugh, can't you just leave me alone?! What do you want from me?!" Junhwe sits up. "Fine! Have it! Math is next anyways and since you won't be there, I will."
Junhwe stands up and dusts himself, picking up his bag from the bench. He slings it over his shoulder while Donghyuk sits down on the bench and pats the spot next to him. Junhwe tilts his head, confused.
"What?"
Donghyuk sighs. He takes out his iPod and puts one earbud in, offering the other one to Junhwe.
"Is this your way of getting me to skip math so I'll get a lower score than you at the next test?"
"Sorry about your jeans." Donghyuk says. "And your shoes."
Junhwe is silent. Then he takes the earbud and sits down next to Donghyuk, putting the earbud in. Coldplay is playing and Junhwe sighs. Donghyuk has always had such a nice taste in music. He wishes he didn’t dislike Donghyuk so much. If they weren’t constantly at war to get the highest scores and be number one. They could really talk about music. They could discuss it really deeply if they wanted to, but. Then again. They’re kind of rivals, or something. He’s pretty sure that will keep them from having a nice, civilized conversation about music. A common interest.
"I'm glad you didn't tell anyone about that one time you found me here. And the party. I'm glad you made Taehyun sunbae keep it a secret."
"You're welcome." Junhwe grunts.
"I suppose you don't have any intentions of spreading it to everyone?"
Junhwe shrugs. "Dunno. Wouldn't benefit me."
Donghyuk laughs. "It would. You just... Didn't care for it, huh?"
Junhwe frowns. He's not sure why they're talking about this. Then again, why else would Donghyuk be talking to him seriously if it weren't for this?
"You're not gonna ask me why I cried?" Donghyuk asks, voice quiet. The song changes to Drake and it sets the mood wrong, but Junhwe doesn't care. Donghyuk is pressed up against his side and they're close--too close. Junhwe’s pretty sure he can start counting Donghyuk’s eyelashes. Junhwe scoots away a little and tries to focus on remembering the lyrics to Hotline Bling instead of the way Donghyuk's pushing his glasses up with his finger.
"Well. I don't know. It's none of my business."
Donghyuk sighs, leaning back against the bench.
They spend the rest of the school day listening to music in silence. Junhwe hates that he likes Donghyuk's playlist, and the fact that he kind of wants to share his with Donghyuk. Would he like it as much as Junhwe liked his?
---
"Oh." Junhwe stops when he sees Donghyuk sitting alone in the corner, crying. It's late, the library's about to close, and Donghyuk is so well hidden Junhwe wouldn't have found him if he wasn't looking for a book on titration.
"Shit, why do you always catch me?" Donghyuk laughs bitterly as he takes off his glasses and wipes his tears. Junhwe sits down across him.
"The library's closing in half an hour. Let's get out of here."
"Okay." Donghyuk puts his glasses back on and follows Junhwe out the library door after checking out the book. They walk in the general direction of Donghyuk's home in silence. Junhwe’s starting to regret asking Donghyuk to leave with him, but he’d felt more comfortable with the boy ever since that time they skipped classes listening to Donghyuk’s iPod.
"I don't... Wanna go home." Donghyuk says when he realizes Junhwe is leading him towards his home.
"Why?"
"Can we go somewhere?" Donghyuk asks. Junhwe looks at him and Donghyuk quickly adds, "If you don't mind, of course."
"No. I don't mind."
---
They have tea at a nearby cafe. Junhwe doesn't mind spending the last bits of his pocket money for this week on expensive tea and snacks, especially if it's for Donghyuk.
Wait.
"I'm tired." Donghyuk suddenly says.
"We can go home. I'll walk you."
"No, I mean... Tired. Of everything. Of being on top all the time. It gets tiring." Donghyuk says.
"Oh." Junhwe frowns. "Well, it's tiring being second. Everyone compares me to you. It's so fucking irritating."
Donghyuk smiles. "We’re rivals, aren’t we? I wish I know how to be as carefree as you. You seem so... Effortlessly smart. You don't have to try so hard. You're smart, Junhwe."
"You're smarter than me." Junhwe replies.
"I'm not smart. I'm just hard-working. It's different."
It is. Junhwe knows it's different. But Donghyuk is so naturally talented. He just doesn't see it himself.
"You're talented." Junhwe shrugs. "You can dance and stuff. It's really cool, everyone likes you because you can dance."
"And that's exactly why. Nobody likes me because I'm me. Nobody likes me for who I am." Donghyuk sighs. Tears are starting to pool in his eyes but Junhwe chooses to ignore it--if Donghyuk wants to cry, let him cry.
"Nobody likes me because I'm me, they only like me because I can dance and because I have good scores, because I’m smart. That's not important! That's not me! Nobody listens to my worries, and I'm so tired of having to keep listening. I'm tired of everything, Junhwe. Why can't I be myself? Why is it that I always have to be perfect?"
Junhwe watches as Donghyuk works himself up and drives himself into a corner. Junhwe's not sure what to do this time now that he actually knows why Donghyuk's crying.
"But you have everything." Junhwe mutters. Donghyuk sniffles.
Donghyuk just looks sad as he smiles at Junhwe. "Don't I? I have everything everyone wants, but I'm not happy."
"Well, if it makes any difference, I like you because you’re my annoying rival. I don’t know what I’d do without you." Junhwe blurts out. He blushes, but Donghyuk doesn’t seem affected by it.
Honestly, he’s thought about it before. If Donghyuk were to just suddenly disappear one day, or if he just never existed… What would he do? Would he still work as hard to be number one, no matter if the person he’s competing with is Donghyuk or not? Or is he only doing this because it’s Donghyuk? Would Donghyuk do this if Junhwe isn’t there? Are they only here because they competed with each other and people around them started calling them rivals? Enemies? They should probably hate each other, but here they are...
"Don't lie. You only pity me."
"I don't pity you."
"I'm sorry you even have to listen to this. You just paid for our drinks and snacks and now I'm dumping all this on you. I'm so sorry."
"Don't be. I mean it. It's fine." Junhwe shrugs. "It's nothing. You can talk to me anytime."
"I... Thank you." Donghyuk wipes his tears. "Wow, this is embarrassing."
Junhwe rolls his eyes. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. I mean it, Donghyuk. I'm here if you need to talk. I'm here to listen."
"Thank you. I don't want to burden you, but..."
"Oh come on. You threw up on me and I didn't complain. This is nothing." He doesn’t know why he’s doing this. Maybe he’s just too kind. There’s a strange feeling in his heart. He can’t blame it on anything, now. He genuinely wants to help Donghyuk, but he’s not sure why.
Donghyuk's eyes widen at the mention of the incident. "I'm really sorry about that! I should buy you a new pair of jeans and shoes!"
"No, fuck. Forget it.” He checks his phone. “It's late. Let's go home?" Junhwe offers his hand.
"Let's!" Donghyuk smiles, linking his fingers with Junhwe's as they stand.
"And I mean it, Donghyuk. You might not believe me but I like you. I do."
"I like you, too, Junhwe. I like you, too."
---
(((BONUSSSSSUUUUU)))
"Happy birthday, you senseless idiot."
Junhwe looks down at the neatly wrapped present thrown onto his desk. Donghyuk is standing in front of him.
"Huh?"
"Happy birthday." Donghyuk pushes the present to Junhwe. "This is a present for you."
"Oh. I know." Junhwe replies intelligently. He's an idiot when it comes to Donghyuk, and Bobby will not shut up about how whipped Junhwe is. Junhwe won’t admit it to Bobby’s face, but he is. He’s fucking whipped.
"I hope you like it."
Junhwe unwraps the present. The class is empty at 6:30 AM, and Junhwe doesn't bother to properly throw away the wrapper. He tears through them and throws them onto the floor. Donghyuk picks it up for him.
A nice pair of blue jeans. Junhwe grins.
"Nice."
"I hope it fits you! Style-wise and size-wise. If not, then, you can always exchange it, I have the receipt."
"Wow, careful as always." Junhwe rolls his eyes. Nerd. His nerd. "Don't worry, I like it. I'll try it on later. Thank you."
Donghyuk smiles. Junhwe grabs Donghyuk's tie--he's wearing a cardigan today, because Junhwe had told him he looked cuter in a cardigan--and Donghyuk leans down, noses touching with Junhwe.
"Thank you, stupid." Junhwe smiles and pecks Donghyuk's lips.
"You're welcome, idiot. Happy birthday.”
Junhwe knows he’s hopeless. But he doesn’t mind it. He doesn’t mind it at all.