Do people really do this?

[chaos_by_design]

This article on Cracked is a mostly really good summary of why life gets better after 30. I do have one question though about this quote:

Think about everyone with whom you used to spend so much time. Members of the gang who attended all the same parties, but whose company you never enjoyed. Ever. Guess what? By the time you hit 30, they're no

Comments

[gmdreia]

Yeah, for the most part, we really are.

Sad, isn't it?

[chaos_by_design]

Sad, and mostly kind of strange.

[fmanalyst]

I think it happens in the context of 'friends of friends', esp. if you're friends with a couple. The group surrounding the couple will include friends of both, friends of one, and friends of the other. If the couple throws a party, the crowd will include all of the above, plus work buddies who'd be offended if they weren't invited and the dates of the people who were invited. Once you're past 30, that happens mainly in the context of office parties: the co-worker you can't stand, the co-worker you like but whose spouse is a blowhard. That sort of thing.

[chaos_by_design]

Ah, that makes more sense.

[beckon]

I made a really good friend, liked hanging out with him a lot. He had several friends who all new each other from childhood.

My friend, I liked. The others I only know from being friends with my friend. But after so many years of going and doing things together. I now find myself invited directly to their events as well.

I don't particular think of them as my friends. But I feel stuck.

[chaos_by_design]

That sounds like a rather awkward situation. :/

[marlowe1]

That's not so bad. It does mean that they like you well enough even if you guys aren't close. Casual acquaintances are nice and unlike best friends they don't expect a lot out of you.

[chaos_by_design]

Well, having casual acquaintances is one thing, but this article was more talking about hanging out with people you don't like, which is quite another.

[marlowe1]

Well, there is a herding instinct that happens in people and it's very hard to notice - much less resist - when you are younger. You may feel like you are immune because you most likely failed at the popularity game in high school (a failure that seems to be required to forge one's identity - seems like the only decent lesson that you learn in high school is that you don't have to pretend to be something you're not to please people that you don't like) but haven't you been in groups of people that you thought were great friends only to discover later that there was a lot of aggression and hostility floating about

[chaos_by_design]

You may feel like you are immune because you most likely failed at the popularity game in high school

Heh. You got my number, alright.

haven't you been in groups of people that you thought were great friends only to discover later that there was a lot of aggression and hostility floating about?

I'm not sure. Maybe, but I think too I always found it dismaying and difficult to understand. I'm a very straightforward person but as I've gotten older and more socially skilled, I've gotten less so, which has had the effect of making feel a bit morally compromised.

fucking a frum chick

That would make a great blog title.

I wasn't under the impression that sex before marriage was considered okay in Orthodox Judaism, but correct me if I'm wrong. If I'm right, do you pick and choose what stuff you want to go along with as far as your religion goes?

[almond_tiger]

Seems like they're relying on the idea that you settle after 30. In my experience it's moving and changing jobs, etc, that causes this kind of faux friendship (until you figure out who you actually like) and it certainly isn't going away just because of my age.