What Goes Up...
I found out two days after I got home from New York that Donna, a fellow fan who I'd been talking with online and had met at The Chance the Friday before, had passed away. She had been sick for a long time and in a lot of pain. She was a little out of it at The Chance because of all of the medication she was taking but you never would have known she was that sick. Even though I had only met her once and had only 'known' her online for about a month, she made an impression on me. Donna didn't simply exist in life; she was an active participant. She LIVED and enjoyed every moment of it that she possibly could. Honestly, she was inspirational. It struck me a few hours after I heard of her passing that she had asked a favor of me at The Chance; one that I never got to fulfill in her lifetime. It wasn't anything major in the grand scheme of things. She had asked me if there was any way that I could make her a ZO2 headband like the one that I'd made for myself. I said yes but never got to give it to her. I made it and sent it to a close friend of hers to pass along to her family. I wanted to, at the very least, stay true to my word to her. It was a sobering conclusion to a week that had gone so very well up until then. I don't that believe anything else could've put a damper on that weekend, but that sure brought me back down to Earth.
The week or so that followed up until now has, for lack of a better word, sucked. While I did manage a 90 on my Marketing exam, (How the hell did that happen?) I have been a little beside myself emotionally. My semi-bi-monthly emotional dump on my parents happened to coincide with a ton of stress on their part resulting in my parents coming within minutes of trying to get me committed to Butler. It was not a happy Saturday. Now I ask: What is so crazy about wanting to be able to deal with who you are and what it means for your life? Nothing, you say? Tell that to my parents who have never understood it and will never understand it. Yet, for some reason, I keep trying to make them. I don't get it either. I keep getting the runaround with Programming who, I've established, only encourage me just to get me to shut up. I'm completely unmotivated in terms of schoolwork yet I need to finish my degree if I don't want to completely screw myself over. Not fun really. And yes, I am painfully aware that this is straying quite far into the realm of emo. But hey, it's the truth and I need to at least try to sort it out somehow.