Animal's Diary
My boss sent this to me, thought it was funny :)
As seen in a dog's diary:
7am- Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8am- Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am- Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon- Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2pm- Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3pm- Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm- Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6pm- Oh boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm- Oh boy! Dad! My favorite!
8pm- Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
11pm- Oh boy! Sleeping in people's beds! My favorite!
As seen in a cat's diary:
Day 183 of my captivity...
My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild
satisfaction that I get from clawing the furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded-- must try this at the top of the
stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair-- must try this on
their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and try to strike
fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
good little cat I was.
Hmmm, not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and
smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was
due to MY power of "allergies". Must learn what this is and how to use
it to my advantage.
I am convinced that the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He
is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an
informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain that he reports
my every move. Due to his placement in the metal room, his safety is
assured.
But I can wait, it is only a matter of time....
As seen in a dog's diary:
7am- Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8am- Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am- Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon- Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2pm- Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3pm- Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm- Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6pm- Oh boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm- Oh boy! Dad! My favorite!
8pm- Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
11pm- Oh boy! Sleeping in people's beds! My favorite!
As seen in a cat's diary:
Day 183 of my captivity...
My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild
satisfaction that I get from clawing the furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded-- must try this at the top of the
stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair-- must try this on
their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and try to strike
fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
good little cat I was.
Hmmm, not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and
smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was
due to MY power of "allergies". Must learn what this is and how to use
it to my advantage.
I am convinced that the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He
is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an
informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain that he reports
my every move. Due to his placement in the metal room, his safety is
assured.
But I can wait, it is only a matter of time....