(no subject)
Time once again to review the winners of the Annual
"Stella Awards." The Stella Awards are named after
81 year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on
herself and successfully sued McDonald's (in NM).
That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most
frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the
United States
Here are this year's winners:
5th Place (tie):
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded
$80,000, by a jury of her peers after breaking her
ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside
a furniture store. The owners of the store were
understandably surprised at the verdict, considering
the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's
son.
5th Place (tie):
19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won
$74,000 an! d medical expenses when his neighbor ran
over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman
apparently didn't notice there was someone at the
wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his
neighbor's hubcaps .
5th Place (tie):
Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was
leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way
of the garage. He was not able to get the garage
door to go up since the automatic door opener was
malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house
because the door connecting the house and garage
locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on
vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in
the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case
of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food.
He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the
situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury
agreed, to the tune of $500,000. In my opinion this
is so outrageous that it should have been 2nd Place!
4th Place:
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was
awarded $14,500, and medical expenses after being
bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's
beagle. The beagle as on a chain in its owner's
fenced yard. The award was less than sought because
the jury felt the dog might have been just a little
provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who had climbed
over the fence into the yard and was shooting it
repeatedly with a pellet gun.
3rd Place:
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay
Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500.
after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her
coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor
because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30
seconds earlier during an argument.
2nd Place:
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully
sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city
when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor
and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred
while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the
window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50
cover charge . She was awarded $12,000 and dental
expenses.
1st Place:
This year's runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski
purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home.
On her first trip home, (from an OU football game),
having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise
control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to
go into the back & make herself a sandwich. Not
surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and
overturned. Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not
advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't
actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000,
plus a new motor home. The company actually changed
their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in
case there were any other complete morons around.