Comments | charis: In roll on or aerosol

charis

In roll on or aerosol

Nov 27, 2005 00:14

I really feel like an ignorant asshole. Selfish, bragging, vain and oblivious. I never seem to grasp how my actions and words will affect other people. It takes someone on the outside to show me how my actions and words caused a certain reaction from someone ( Read more... )

Comments 6

gmajor November 27 2005, 04:56:44 UTC

What happened?

charis November 27 2005, 05:23:38 UTC

It all kind of crept up on me. I am beginning to see that I just don't have anything of value to give to anyone. I'm stuck in a rut of laziness, self-pity, hypochondria and general selfishness. I used to think that I was good to people but I'm beginning to think that the only time I ever do anything good for someone is when I feel I will benefit. I didn't consciously plan it that way, but nowadays I seem to pick and choose when and to whom I will be good. I just feel like a bad person.

gmajor November 27 2005, 13:20:42 UTC

I don't really know you so I can't presume to judge, but it occurred to me that this might be something like the axiom "If you're able to ask yourself 'Am I crazy?' then you probably aren't.". The fact you've come to this realization means you're not completely insensitive.

(In a sense, we all do things for others for our own benefit, even if merely for the satisfaction we get for helping someone, or their thanks, or the good feeling of having done something nice.)

That being said, having come to this realization, you now have the opportunity to change, to rewrite your code, to try and do better. If you've been shown the error of your ways, you can try and make up for lost time. At least you didn't have to get haunted by three spirits and the ghost of a dead partner to have your wake-up call.

I know all about the laziness, self-pity, hypochondria and general selfishness; I'm struggling with those things myself, and it nearly ruined my marriage. I'm trying, and Gmajorette appreciates my trying ( ... )

mort November 27 2005, 05:22:24 UTC

in the thirteen years i've known you, never once have i perceived you to be any of the things you've just mentioned. never. on the contrary, you're one of the sweetest and most genuine people i know and i only wish you'd quit being so hard on yourself.

and you know i don't lie, nor am i one for flattery and back-patting.

give me a call tomorrow if you wanta.

p.s. i said "hard on". hehe.

anne_t_social November 27 2005, 06:13:58 UTC

I have never seen you do a single selfish action. From what I know of you, you're a wonderful person.

mercuresque November 27 2005, 17:01:08 UTC

nancy, honey, the one - ONE! - "negative" comment that i could possibly make about your personality, is that you let yourself fall into these self doubt-infused funks.

you are, without a doubt, one of the least selfish people i have ever met in my life. i am absolutely not exaggerating. you're so kind, so sweet, and such a good friend that it's broderline annoying because we all wish you'd occasionally put yourself first and not let unworthy people take advantage of you ( ... )