My mother died in 1997. The last person she spoke to was her favorite person in the universe - my daughter, who was 8. Who talked to her Grandma Rose every day, because Grandma Rose was the only one who really had time to listen. She had a dream not long after of riding unicorns over fields of flowers with Grandma Rose, and for months that became her bedtime ritual - a bedtime story about how she was going to dream of Grandma Rose. My father gave her my mom's stuffed cat, and she *still* sleeps with it to this day (and took it to keep Grandpa Murray company when he was in Hospice...he cried when he saw it, poor old battered well-loved thing that it is).
It's hard. But they find their ways to cope. Yes, 5 is young (my youngest was 5 and it was hard on him too, but not nearly as much as Erin).
*hugs* Don't forget to take time for yourself, lady. It's easy to get caught up in helping everyone else cope, so we can bury the fact that we're grieving, too. You're allowed.
Thank you so, so much for sharing that... It's hard sometimes not being close to other moms (I should try harder at school but we're very different!)... so I don't hear these stories. My other girlfriends aren't moms so... I miss out
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I *totally* get that. My mom and I...well we did a *lot* better when we were no longer living in the same house (two Sagittarians under one roof -baaaaaaaaaaaaad idea, not that I learned my lesson, as my first ex - the red-heads' dad - and I actually share a birthday). LOL I learned early on that if I called my mom about once a week and fed her some innocuous kid news, she'd leave me alone because she felt I was keeping her in the loop, which is really all she wanted. Didn't hurt me, made her feel better, kept me sane. :D I didn't realize until a conversation with my sister and my dad after her death that she'd been an alcoholic all along, which contributed to a lot of the "weirdness"...I was utterly clueless (didn't *everybody's* mom take a nap ever afternoon? And do silly stuff to everybody laugh? And have cocktails when Daddy came home from work? Of course, this was the 60's and 70's, so pretty much...yeah). :)
And yeah, interesting about that alcoholic mom thing. May have been a contributing factor during my teen years actually - oo, not a good time that was. (and I'm sure I was a total pain in the ass too... which one could argue might have driven anyone to drink).
hugs. the best thing my mom ever did, was always talk to me. I may not have understood at the time, but as a grew older. I have found that when my life becomes super sucky (my father has had brain cancer three times, and well hes not quite what he used to be) somewhere in the mess is an opportunity.
Really good advice, actually. I always figured if my kids felt they could talk to me, they'd be okay. I now have 3 of the coolest young adults on the planet (just ask my mate...'Yote thinks they're awesome). I'm a little freaked out that as of September they'll all be considered "adults" (my daughter will turn 20 on June 21 - my summer solstice baby, and both my boys' birthdays are in September, they'll be 18 and 22). Of course, that doesn't include my "heart kids" (the children my ex-husband had with our 2 wives) who are 3, 5, 8 and almost 10. *sigh* Who I miss bunches (they're the ones I took pictures of at the park 2 weekends ago). But my bio-kids will all be 18 and over...which is kinda freaky. LOL I can't be that old, can I? :)
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It's hard. But they find their ways to cope. Yes, 5 is young (my youngest was 5 and it was hard on him too, but not nearly as much as Erin).
*hugs* Don't forget to take time for yourself, lady. It's easy to get caught up in helping everyone else cope, so we can bury the fact that we're grieving, too. You're allowed.
Eu
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Glad it helped, hon. Any time.
*hugs*
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And yeah, interesting about that alcoholic mom thing. May have been a contributing factor during my teen years actually - oo, not a good time that was. (and I'm sure I was a total pain in the ass too... which one could argue might have driven anyone to drink).
xx
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the best thing my mom ever did, was always talk to me.
I may not have understood at the time, but as a grew older.
I have found that when my life becomes super sucky (my father has had brain cancer three times, and well hes not quite what he used to be) somewhere in the mess is an opportunity.
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