Comments | charliechaplin2: Hush: Chapter 1

charliechaplin2

Hush: Chapter 1

Apr 02, 2012 23:28

Title: Hush
Genre: 1950s Neo Noir
Rating: M
AN: Thanks to lovelylytton for beta-ing.

( Chapter 1 )

character: jadeite, character: nephrite, character: ami/mercury, character: usagi/moon, character: kunzite, character: beryl, fandom: sailor moon, character: senshi, character: rei/mars, character: zoisite, character: minako/venus, verse: hush, character: makoto/jupiter, character: shitennou, timeline: 1950s, character: mamoru/tuxedo, fic: hush

Comments 5

adodds122781 April 3 2012, 03:55:10 UTC

I love the names you used, Jacinto (Jace), Napoleon (Leo), and "Beryl Kingdom" stage name!
Walter is indeed an old man's name!

“I think every red blooded male is, or was anyway.” Leo took in a drag and puffed it out while his eyes travelled along the corpse. “She was one stacked dame.”

The officer’s eyes diverted from Leo to her breasts. His eyebrows lifted. “I’ll say.”

I can see Nephrite commenting on the boobs! I needed a break from all of my math homework and now I can't wait to read more and this story is playing out like a movie in my head! :)

lovelylytton April 3 2012, 07:31:35 UTC

Because you REFUSE to answer all my questions, my mind is running wild with theories, but I cannot discuss them yet. But I will after the next chapter, and then you can silently laugh at me for being oh so wrong.

In the meantime, let me point all the things I love about this fic, half of which I have already told you, but damn, my most beloved Hookerfic is so wonderful, they just bear repeating.

As always, the names. The real names, the stage names, any and all names, but mainly, Betty of the almond cake fame. I think every noir tale needs a Betty, and yours is just fantastic and I love her slightly inappropriat relationship with my beloved Jacinto, who I only call Walter in my mind.

Well, you’re on the nose with your assumptions, but I’m not usually one to sit in a bar and swap tales over a beer and peanuts. I normally like to keep things close to the chest, I don’t get any swell of pride by telling others about the ones I put in the chamber, in fact I’d rather forget ‘em. It doesn’t do any good to let the dead haunt you, not ( ... )

ellorgast April 11 2012, 18:43:12 UTC

This is ALL KINDS OF BRILLIANT.

You've perfectly captured the noir style. I love Jace. I love Leo. Beryl the movie star is also absolutely perfect!

Please tell me there is more on the way!

warriorofice May 12 2012, 02:56:28 UTC

Belated commenting commences ( ... )

islain January 25 2013, 09:45:21 UTC

So, I read this back when they came out, but giving them another go over... it's been a while and... I may not have read too deeply the first time. But pic hunting has inspired me.

Stream of conciousy, starting from the top:

"One meager chump in a City meant to be filled with angels." Love this turn of phrase!

Interesting choice to make Beryl the youngest daughter... very curious to see how/if this affects things! :o

Also, Beryl's hair color thing made me smile. IIRC Rita dyed hers too and was actually brunette.

Love Betty's interest in the case/famous people. Not sure if she's a fan of Her Boys or movie people. Both ideas thrill me and seem very fitting for the time and place. Also, her name also makes me think of Sunset Boulevard, which also delights me. Love their banter.

And the vice line. <3 And Vincinetti. Of COURSE he's Italian ( ... )