(no subject)
Alriiiight...well school fucking blows.
So for the past week, I've been doing 3 hours 45 minutes each day in the library. So last night I had this weird dream, we were all in the gym, and then Chris Bouvier was some sort of terrorist trying to kill us all. But it was SO fucking realistic. So I ran into the changeroom with a screwdriver, and he runs in after me so I stabbed the screwdriver through my neck to kill myself before he can. so I'm bleeding everywhere and it didn't work. But then all of a sudden, everything was over and it all went back to normal. Except EVERYONE thought I was fucking some crazy suicidal and shit. Then I was about to go explain to my mom how I tried to commit suicide but I woke up. So I wake up, go back to sleep and have another dream. Nothing in the beginning is important, but then I remember someone running up to me like "Charlie come quick something happened to one of your friends" and I think it was Jamie? I'm not sure though so I'm running there and we get to some dark forest and I have to run through it, and then my mom's standing there and just says "Charlie?" and I woke up since she was outside my door saying Charlie to wake me up lol. Anyways, so after those dreams I was in a weird mood, since it seemed SO real. Then I saw we had nothing to pack for lunch, I didn't eat breakfast and my supper yesterday was a bowl of cereal so I was hungry. I was kind of mad that we didn't even have anything to eat at all, so I go to school. My mom asked if I wanted money for lunch but I thought why bother. The school's food blows, and the only time I can eat it is at lunch and the people in the cafeteria blow so I'd have to wait forever.
And then in special class all I could hear was people typing and that girl that's always there talking. And I couldn't just tell her to stop talking, since...well yeah. So I go to sit somewhere else and the teacher is like "Come sit over here so I can see you" and I was saying how I couldn't even concentrate will all of that, and my only options where places where I could still hear her so I just left. Then around the end of first period, Mme plamondon comes and pulls me out of the caf and yells at me in her office. So shes saying all this shit about how I'm obligated to stay there and shit, and I was saying how I was doing JUST FINE over at the other side, but she's like "well she has to be able to keep an eye on you so she knows you're working" and shit happened and I said "Well I'm sick of being treated like a fucking retard" and shes just like "Well, maybe you wouldn't be treated like an f'ing retard if you just did your work and I just said "WELL I WAS TRYING TO DO MY WORK" and some other stuff was said and I was saying I'm getting shit done and she's like "well you've still got 35 in french so you aren't" so I said "WELL IT DOESNT HAPPEN OVERNIGHT" and she's like "It's been THREE WEEKS (which it totally hasnt been) AND IF YOU'RE STILL FAILING, WELL THEN YOU MUST BE AN F'ING RETARD" so I just zoned out from there to avoid more conflict then left. I was SOOO fucking pissed off I had to leave school.
So walking home, I got like 30 minutes to think about shit going on in my life. And I decided, I"m going to fucking show up EVERYONE. FUCK everyone who doesn't beleive I can do this. I'll get my grades back up and everything without ANY of their fucking help. So yeah, I threw out certain things that I won't need anymore, and yeah. So now here I am. Except instead of anger, over time it just turned into depression. I need some prozzac. But yeah, that's all (that's all?! that was fucking long). Later.
Ps. Congratulations if you actually read all of that shit.