You've been sucked in by the glitter vampires? HA! (I'm afraid to touch the fanfic myself, because of the sheer amount of sueism in the books. Also because I know I couldn't stop at just one.)
cleolinda's recaps of the book are a scream. She's got links in there somewhere to "Growing Up Cullen", too, which is not a fanfic so much as two other LJ users (oxymoronassoc is the one who posted them) talking about what Edward's personality is really like.
I know, right?! the part about twinkies totally made sense. XD Like you, I love the books and think they're kind of atrocious at the same time. Total brain candy.
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