Since I stopped going years ago I had to find it (though differently) in my day to day world. I've had to make the time to etch it out in a way I didn't have to with fest because fest was its own time and space and we made it happen just by getting ourselves there. It takes time and it will come if you make it happen. And that's a tricky thing.
I'm always going to be chasing that feeling of being fully seen, loved, and accepted that Mich gave me. I might get tiny moments of it in small, queer company but it's just never going to be the same on that scale and I guess I'm going to have to do the work to build up my confidence more than just waiting for that externalized re-up every year.
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I am so grateful for all those years when I could really express myself and evolve my high femme in such a free spirited environment (read Lace Party)
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