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I can't believe I froze up. The moment I should have been there for the rest of the group I froze, instant memories of finding Sam flashing to my mind...
Riley:I followed Phoebe into the hall...I knew what was coming, but it didn't really make it feel any better. I looked at her, waiting for her to say something.
Phoebe: I looked at him "What happened back there?" I asked worried. He didn't seem like the type to freeze up in a fight.
Riley:I looked at her and then looked away. "You might want to sit down...for this next part..." I said softly.
Phoebe: "I am just fine." I said softly "Just talk to me."
Riley:"Seeing that...it just brought up memories that I try to push away. but it's time for me to deal with them, because I could have got us killed or something like that." I said, looking down at my hands...I took a deep breathe..."I buried parts of my wife...because some demon got the best of her and destroyed her body." I said my voice starting to crack.
Phoebe: I sat down listening to his story. This was all I was feeling earlier.
Riley:"Told you might want to sit down" I said half-jokingly. "It's just...as soon as we walked in and I saw what was going on...it made everything I went through slap me in the face."
Phoebe: "What do you mean?" I finally ask as I broke the silence on my side of the room.
Riley:"I tried to just put it behind me and compartmentalize it so I didn't have to deal with the fact that my wife was brutally murdered and I did nothing to stop it from happening." I said...the guilt overwhelming, I stretched and tried to regain my composure, "but I know, everyone tells me there was nothing I could do, but she was working in my Unit, I should have never let her go alone."
Phoebe: "Riley, you couldn't protect her all the time, I know that doesn't help but its the truth." I said honestly "I am sure she doesn't blame you."
Riley:I looked up, trying to avoid looking at Phoebe...the feelings I had for her; they were starting to really hit home for me. It was like how I felt for Sam and Buffy. "Thanks" I said softly. "Sorry about freezing up and putting everyone on the line...I'm a better soldier than that"
Phoebe: I walk over and touch his shoulder "It is ok." I said softly as I tried to comfort him.
Riley:I look up at her from the seat and then reach and pull her so she's sitting in my lap and kiss her softly. I didn't say anything, I just wanted to kiss her.
Phoebe: I pull back. As much as I wanted to do this, he needed to deal with his emotions. "Riley." I whispered, "We can't do this."
Riley:I let go of her and pulled my head back. "You're right...we shouldn't.." I said softly. But I wanted too. Early it was ok in the attic, as long as we took it slow. "So there's no feelings between us?"
Phoebe: "Wow you men really are dense sometimes." I said "No, there are feelings, but we can't do this right now." I said "You have a lot of baggage that unless you work on it will only hurt us."
Riley:"You men....so you have a habit for falling for emotionally unable men?" I said sort of half jokingly. "Yeah...I guess you're right." I said...I already delt with it, right after we got there, I was dealing with it...and helping the injured man was the last thing I had to do to help deal.
Phoebe: I could tell he thought he had dealt with it, but not so much. "Riley, I will stand by you, but yes, I do have a habit for falling for emotionally unstable demon men, since we have ruled you aren't a demon, we just need to help you with the unstable part."
Riley:"A demon?" I said sarcastically, "No...definitely not one of them." I said..."but you're right..." I said as I stood up and took a step away from her. "I should deal with this stuff first."
Phoebe: "I am here for you if you want me." I said again wishing I had just kept my mouth shut and kissed him.
Riley:"You're right...I need to deal with this" I said softly. I couldn't stop staring at her lips...I didn't know what to say, I was pretty much speechless. "I don't know, I want to see where this goes...but maybe we shouldn't."
Phoebe: "Riley...what do you want to do?" I asked softly
Riley:"kiss you...and move on." I said looking at her. "but you said I need to get my stuff together, and I guess you're right."
Phoebe: "I will make you a deal..." I said softly "You tell me how you feel instead of locking it inside and I will kiss you."
Riley:"I want you Phoebe..." I said softly. "I want for us to happen...I want a relationship with you." I said softly. "How about that kiss?" I said with a smile.
Phoebe: "I take that as you are agreeing..." he gave me a look "And I am shutting up and kissing you now." I said as I kissed him.
Riley:I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer and kissed her. I pulled away and looked into her eyes, "I'm falling in love with you Phoebe Halliwell." I said softly. She wanted my feelings.
Phoebe: "You do know I meant all your feelings right...including non phoebe related ones."
Riley:I leaned back, my hands still around her waist. "That's all I'm feeling right now." I said honestly.
Phoebe: I smiled "Ok then." I kissed him again. I wasn't ready to be that open with him, the last few guys I dated always left or turned out to be demons...
Riley:She was holding back...I could tell, maybe I was just overreating. "You have to open up to me too" I said softly.
Phoebe: "I care about you Riley, I am just...I can't say anything more than that right now." I said honestly
Riley:I looked at her, slightly hurt. Here it goes again...another Buffy. I promised myself last time that I wouldn't d that again, set myself up to be hurt. "Ok...I'm going to take your advice and just leave it at the way things are...and I'll work it out." I said softly pulling my hands away from her hips and back to my sides. "Thanks Phoebe."
I said softly
Phoebe: I sigh looking down a moment "My last serious relationship was a demon who took me places I couldn't believe, he led me down a road of evil, I know you aren't that, but I can't just say I love you easily..."
Riley:"No...I get it, you don’t have to explain it. I'm ok...I'm a soldier, I'll live." I said. "We'll work things out together...it seems we both have baggage that needs to be dealt with...my feelings aren't going to change...but I just don't want you getting into a relationship because you feel sorry for me." I said. "Sorry for taking advantage of the situation."
Phoebe: "I will tell you one thing agent Finn, I don't feel sorry for you..." I said softly as I kiss him. "lets just work things out together then."
Riley:"That sounds good" I said as I kissed her back. I could lose myself, I was trying hard now to pull myself away from her; but I was losing it. I kissed her again.
Phoebe: I kissed him again and pull him down on the bed next to me. "Can we rest? Just you and I laying here, sleeping?"
Riley:"Yes, if you want." I said as I laid down next to her and fell asleep with my arm wrapped around her
Riley:I followed Phoebe into the hall...I knew what was coming, but it didn't really make it feel any better. I looked at her, waiting for her to say something.
Phoebe: I looked at him "What happened back there?" I asked worried. He didn't seem like the type to freeze up in a fight.
Riley:I looked at her and then looked away. "You might want to sit down...for this next part..." I said softly.
Phoebe: "I am just fine." I said softly "Just talk to me."
Riley:"Seeing that...it just brought up memories that I try to push away. but it's time for me to deal with them, because I could have got us killed or something like that." I said, looking down at my hands...I took a deep breathe..."I buried parts of my wife...because some demon got the best of her and destroyed her body." I said my voice starting to crack.
Phoebe: I sat down listening to his story. This was all I was feeling earlier.
Riley:"Told you might want to sit down" I said half-jokingly. "It's just...as soon as we walked in and I saw what was going on...it made everything I went through slap me in the face."
Phoebe: "What do you mean?" I finally ask as I broke the silence on my side of the room.
Riley:"I tried to just put it behind me and compartmentalize it so I didn't have to deal with the fact that my wife was brutally murdered and I did nothing to stop it from happening." I said...the guilt overwhelming, I stretched and tried to regain my composure, "but I know, everyone tells me there was nothing I could do, but she was working in my Unit, I should have never let her go alone."
Phoebe: "Riley, you couldn't protect her all the time, I know that doesn't help but its the truth." I said honestly "I am sure she doesn't blame you."
Riley:I looked up, trying to avoid looking at Phoebe...the feelings I had for her; they were starting to really hit home for me. It was like how I felt for Sam and Buffy. "Thanks" I said softly. "Sorry about freezing up and putting everyone on the line...I'm a better soldier than that"
Phoebe: I walk over and touch his shoulder "It is ok." I said softly as I tried to comfort him.
Riley:I look up at her from the seat and then reach and pull her so she's sitting in my lap and kiss her softly. I didn't say anything, I just wanted to kiss her.
Phoebe: I pull back. As much as I wanted to do this, he needed to deal with his emotions. "Riley." I whispered, "We can't do this."
Riley:I let go of her and pulled my head back. "You're right...we shouldn't.." I said softly. But I wanted too. Early it was ok in the attic, as long as we took it slow. "So there's no feelings between us?"
Phoebe: "Wow you men really are dense sometimes." I said "No, there are feelings, but we can't do this right now." I said "You have a lot of baggage that unless you work on it will only hurt us."
Riley:"You men....so you have a habit for falling for emotionally unable men?" I said sort of half jokingly. "Yeah...I guess you're right." I said...I already delt with it, right after we got there, I was dealing with it...and helping the injured man was the last thing I had to do to help deal.
Phoebe: I could tell he thought he had dealt with it, but not so much. "Riley, I will stand by you, but yes, I do have a habit for falling for emotionally unstable demon men, since we have ruled you aren't a demon, we just need to help you with the unstable part."
Riley:"A demon?" I said sarcastically, "No...definitely not one of them." I said..."but you're right..." I said as I stood up and took a step away from her. "I should deal with this stuff first."
Phoebe: "I am here for you if you want me." I said again wishing I had just kept my mouth shut and kissed him.
Riley:"You're right...I need to deal with this" I said softly. I couldn't stop staring at her lips...I didn't know what to say, I was pretty much speechless. "I don't know, I want to see where this goes...but maybe we shouldn't."
Phoebe: "Riley...what do you want to do?" I asked softly
Riley:"kiss you...and move on." I said looking at her. "but you said I need to get my stuff together, and I guess you're right."
Phoebe: "I will make you a deal..." I said softly "You tell me how you feel instead of locking it inside and I will kiss you."
Riley:"I want you Phoebe..." I said softly. "I want for us to happen...I want a relationship with you." I said softly. "How about that kiss?" I said with a smile.
Phoebe: "I take that as you are agreeing..." he gave me a look "And I am shutting up and kissing you now." I said as I kissed him.
Riley:I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer and kissed her. I pulled away and looked into her eyes, "I'm falling in love with you Phoebe Halliwell." I said softly. She wanted my feelings.
Phoebe: "You do know I meant all your feelings right...including non phoebe related ones."
Riley:I leaned back, my hands still around her waist. "That's all I'm feeling right now." I said honestly.
Phoebe: I smiled "Ok then." I kissed him again. I wasn't ready to be that open with him, the last few guys I dated always left or turned out to be demons...
Riley:She was holding back...I could tell, maybe I was just overreating. "You have to open up to me too" I said softly.
Phoebe: "I care about you Riley, I am just...I can't say anything more than that right now." I said honestly
Riley:I looked at her, slightly hurt. Here it goes again...another Buffy. I promised myself last time that I wouldn't d that again, set myself up to be hurt. "Ok...I'm going to take your advice and just leave it at the way things are...and I'll work it out." I said softly pulling my hands away from her hips and back to my sides. "Thanks Phoebe."
I said softly
Phoebe: I sigh looking down a moment "My last serious relationship was a demon who took me places I couldn't believe, he led me down a road of evil, I know you aren't that, but I can't just say I love you easily..."
Riley:"No...I get it, you don’t have to explain it. I'm ok...I'm a soldier, I'll live." I said. "We'll work things out together...it seems we both have baggage that needs to be dealt with...my feelings aren't going to change...but I just don't want you getting into a relationship because you feel sorry for me." I said. "Sorry for taking advantage of the situation."
Phoebe: "I will tell you one thing agent Finn, I don't feel sorry for you..." I said softly as I kiss him. "lets just work things out together then."
Riley:"That sounds good" I said as I kissed her back. I could lose myself, I was trying hard now to pull myself away from her; but I was losing it. I kissed her again.
Phoebe: I kissed him again and pull him down on the bed next to me. "Can we rest? Just you and I laying here, sleeping?"
Riley:"Yes, if you want." I said as I laid down next to her and fell asleep with my arm wrapped around her