(no subject)
Edward: I see Julie run by sobbing and she doesn't have her collar on. I begin to worry and rush to check on Groo. "Are you alright?"
Groo: I look up as I hear someone talking, I cannot even make out the voice as my ears are ringing, I cannot see the face through my tears. I try to speak but nothing comes out.
Edward: I rush over and place a hand on his shoulder. "What is wrong?" I repeat
Groo: I swallow hard and wipe my eyes with one hand, the other sill holding the ring and collar. "She left," is all I can manage to say.
Edward: "actually she has locked herself in the training room..." i say flatly "What happened?"
Groo: "She asked me to punish her and I did and every time I attempt to do this we fight but this time she gave me these back and just left," I say through the gasping breaths I'm taking to try to stop crying.
Edward: "What was the argument about?" I ask
Groo: I think for a moment, trying to figure out to to summarize it. "In short, I asked her to do a couple of things and she refused, did not even attempt to try. We do not communicate very well, I think. She believes I will beat her if she is not perfect," I say, crying heavily. "I swear to you, I would NEVER."
Edward: "Breath, I know you wouldn't harm her." I say "Please just tell me, do you feel this is for the best?"
Groo: I shrug pitifully. "I honestly do not know. I cannot punish her without causing a fight, she believes I will beat her, I do not believe I can be what she needs. I am not strong enough. But I love her, I want her, I need her," I say, caressing the items in my hand. "I did not expect this," I whisper.
Edward: "I know for certain she does not believe you will harm her." I say again "She most likely said that as an excited utterance....She adores you, trusts you, is broken without you."
Groo: "I am broken without her. But I do not know how to fix this."
Edward: "You must have open communication, if you don't discuss everything with her calmly it won't work."
Groo: I look up at you. "I have tried, I swear it. I wish to know everything she is feeling, everything she is thinking," I look down again. "I must admit I do not always feel as if she desires the same things," I say softly. "We had a very good conversation earlier today and I thought things were made more clear, however, once I began her punishment, it was like everything was forgotten."
Edward: "Might I ask something?" I ask softly
Groo: I nod and wipe my eyes again. "You may ask me anything, Mr. Lawrence."
Edward: "Have you two been intiment?"
Groo: I swallow and nod. "Please do not be angry. I love her."
Edward: "I am not angry, but I must ask, did you use protection?"
Groo: I look up at him, confused. "Protection from what?"
Edward: Oh boy..."You didn't use Condoms?"
Groo: I shake my head. "No, I did not think it necessary, we are monogamous."
Edward: "There are many other reasons to use them Groo...to prevent pregnancy is one of them."
Groo: My eyes grow wide and I look at him. "I just assumed that she was on some type of preventative measure," I say stupidly.
Edward: "Do you think her father made arrangments for such things?"
Groo: I open my mouth and close it again. "I suppose I assumed he would. I am incredibly stupid," I say.
Edward: "Oh dear, no you aren't..." I say honestly "You just need to be prepared for the inevitable."
Groo: "You believe it is inevitable that she has become pregnant with my child?" I ask, trying to wrap my mind around this. I know that I want children with her, well, wanted as it seems obvious she no longer wants me, but I did not expect this to happen.
Edward: "I believe it is something you should investigate. Might explain her erratic mood changes."
Groo: I run a hand through my hair. "Wow. I mean, wow. I cannot believe I did not think of this. Would it be a bad thing?" I ask, afraid of what he might think of me.
Edward: "Dear lord no." I say with a smile, I just believe you must take some time to consider what is happening to her."
Groo: I smile and hug him tightly. "Thank you. If this has occured, I believe it would explain much. I will be a good father, I promise. Whether it is now or in the future."
Edward: "I know you will." I say softly "I have all the faith in the world in you two."
Groo: "Thank you. Thank you for that. I need to fix this. I do not know how, but I need to fix us. I need her in my life, I am just afraid I cannot be what she needs."
Edward: "You can, you simply need to communicate, do not allow yourself to become frustrated either." I say softly
Groo: I give him a small smile. "I am afraid when I feel insecure I do allow myself to become frustrated."
Edward: "You should not allow her to witness this."
Groo: "My insecurity or my frustration?" I ask.
Edward: "Both." I state with certainty.
Groo: "I thought part of having a relationship was being honest about your feelings," I say, a bit confused.
Edward: "Yes, but you don't want to allow your frustraitions to be seen..." I state "That also may be why Julie walks away sometimes."
Groo: I think on this for a moment. "So it is appropriate for me to discuss my feelings when I no longer have them, but it is not appropriate for me to express them at the time?"
Edward: "Depends on the case. If you feel it will cause you to lose your temper? Wait."
Groo: I shake my head. "I would not lose my temper in front of her. I did yesterday, however she was at her mother's house."
Edward: I chuckle. "And what did it accomplish?"
Groo: I give him a sheepish grin. "I broke my cellular phone and Julie purchased me a new one."
Edward: "She truly loves you..." I say honestly
Groo: I nod. "I know she does. And I truly love her, more than my own existance. I will do anything to make things right with her."
Edward: "She is in the loft of the training room..."
Groo: "You think I should go to her?" I ask.
Edward: "Yes..." I say flatly
Groo: "What can I say to her?" I ask softly. "I know I have, please excuse my language, fucked up. I am uncertain how to correct my mistakes and prevent repeating them."
Edward: "be honest, completely honest."
Groo: "Be honest in the fact that I feel I do not know what I am doing as her Dominant? That I do not know how to punish her properly nor how to reward her when she has done well? That I will do anything for her but I am afraid to fail her?"
Edward: "Groo...Close your eyes.." I say plainly
Groo: I cock my eyebrow in suspicion, but then do as he asks.
Edward: "When you picture your future, you picture Julie in it, yes?" I ask and he nods "And in that, do you see yourself being able to guide her, to protect her as well as allow her to do things on her own?"
Groo: "As much as she will allow me to guide and protect her, yes," I say softly. She does not want my protection.
Edward: "She may not want your protection all the time, you need to find that balance, trust her to, at times, find her own way."
Groo: I open my eyes and look at him. "That is what I want. For her to have the life that she chooses. I wish to assist her on this path, but I am uncertain of how to. How can I allow her to stand alone when I perceive she is in danger? I do not wish to protect her from danger, it is a part of our lives, but I cannot stand and watch her, it is not in my nature. It is not only her that I would do this for, but anyone I care for. You, Faith, Brandon, even Angel and I know that you are each quite capable warriors. I do not wish to 'smother' her, as she states, but I do not know how to express that I would do this for others as well."
Edward: "And I undertstand this." I say softly "I simply believe she is more prone to feeling this way because of her upbringing."
Groo: "So you are suggesting that I should allow her to be in more potentially dangerous situations than I would like?" I ask, confused.
Edward: "Just don't make her aware of your protection" I say "I don't."
Groo: I cannot help but chuckle at that. "I believe I understand your meaning. Thank you."
Edward: "She needs you."
Groo: I hug him again. "Thank you. She needs you as well."
Edward: I wish I believed him. "Thank you."
Groo: "Thank you for your expertise and your kind ear as well," I say softly. "Your friendship is greatly appreciated, Mr. Lawrence."
Edward: "Anything for you." I say "More accurately, Anything for Julie."
Groo: I chuckle and not, placing my hand on his shoulder. "The same goes for me as well. I believe we should begin discussing our trip to Scotland soon," I mention.
Edward: "Let us just get through this week."
Groo: "Do not put it off, but yes, I did not mean this moment."
Edward: " I wouldn't dream of that."
Groo: "Excellent." I stand and take a deep breath. "I need to go find her. I do not wish her to think I do not desire to be with her," I say softly.
Edward: "Go to her...and be honest."
Groo: I nod. "I will be, I assure you. Thank you again," I say, still holding the ring and collar in my hand. I do not wish to leave them behind. She may not be ready to accept them again, but I am confident she will. I nod at him once more then go to the loft in the training room, seeing two small figures huddled in a corner.