Comments | chaseii: OC Fic: Equilibrium Part 1/2

chaseii

OC Fic: Equilibrium Part 1/2

Jul 05, 2007 19:43

Title: Equilibrium (One-Shot in two parts)

Part 1/2 (Because LJ is such a beast about length.)

Author: ChaseII

Story Rating: PG-13 (language)

Disclaimer: The OC Universe, with all its assorted characters, belongs to Josh Schwartz, et. al. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended, nor is any money being made.

Summary: Start with Second ( Read more... )

equilibrium

Comments 9

chazper July 6 2007, 00:53:56 UTC

Chase!, welcome back!

First of all, regarding A/N: no apologies are necessary, and especially not when you return bearing the gift of a story like this. I love the premise. It's unexpected, but completely plausible, and you build to the moment of confrontation perfectly. The random, pointless calls from Seth, the ominously darkening clouds, Ryan's preoccupation, his introspective musings about his desire to be what his "benefactors"--not yet his family--want him to be: they all mesh together to create a mood of breathless tension, putting the readers right up there on the rocks with Ryan. And your description is beautiful. I can't even pick out my favorite passages, so I'll quote some of my other favorite bits instead.

He is at home with shades of shadow and refracted points of light.

Such an evocative phrase, because it’s true of Ryan on so many levels.

It’s like they all pretend the baby wasn’t real. When he first got back to Newport, he was glad no one asked him questions. Now he’s not so sure. Buried, they haunt him ( ... )

chaseii July 12 2007, 03:43:34 UTC

Thank you for all the time you spent with this review. Both the lines you picked and your comments about them made me smile. It's wonderful to hear that these lines came across the way I hoped they might.

(Also, so many thanks for your generousity about my recent failures as a reader and a reviewer. I have many stories to catch up on, including at least two of yours, I think!)

... addressed the lack of follow-up to Ryan’s summer on the show (where everything-the loss of the baby, what he had faced back in Chino, his separation from the Cohens-was treated as somehow of less consequence than Seth’s self-pity party in Portland... You express one of my great frustrations with the way the premier of Season 2 was handled. Ryan's summer was traumatic in ways he felt powerless to control, while Seth's estrangement from his family was entirely self-induced, and yet the show focused on bringing Seth back home. If there had been even some slight follow-up for Ryan (and I'm not counting Theresa's reappearance in Season 3), it ( ... )

anne35 July 6 2007, 01:11:03 UTC

I practically did a dance of joy when I saw you had a story. It's such a treat when you write for us. I was going to try and just comment on the entire story at one time, but this first part contained so much goodness, I had to let you know the parts that literally jumped out at me.
No one talks to him about his summer in Chino. It’s like they all pretend the baby wasn’t real. When he first got back to Newport, he was glad no one asked him questions. Now he’s not so sure. Buried, they haunt him - both the death and his relief,
I'm the one who is haunted by this paragraph.
Gulls fly overhead, crying as they soar through the sky, their screams a discordant accompaniment to the thunder of waves below.
I get the feeling you were describing Ryan when you spoke of the gulls' cries.
“I want to be part of Kirsten’s family. I want her to want that, too.”
Okay, that really got me.
*off to read next part*

chaseii July 12 2007, 03:47:14 UTC

You are so kind!

I'm the one who is haunted by this paragraph. You picked one of my favorite paragraphs. *smiles*

selin_74 July 6 2007, 01:28:59 UTC

OMG, a real look at 2nd season Ryan and what
brought it on.

Now I must go read part 2

chaseii July 12 2007, 03:48:30 UTC

Season 2 Ryan was a mystery, wasn't he?

fredsmith518 July 8 2007, 21:54:52 UTC

I loved the description of the sea and surrounding landscape and also Ryan drawing. Most evocative.

chaseii July 12 2007, 03:50:44 UTC

Thank you. I'm so glad the setting was compelling.

(I always wanted Ryan to draw dark pictures that would reveal something of his past. *sighs*)

nightrider101 September 11 2007, 03:58:06 UTC

Wow... Just plain wow...

You have such a way with words! The whole chapter was beautifully pictured in my mind. Such detail and vivid imagery... :) You were able to create such a mood of tension and the possibilities that the impending storm could bring. Simply amazing writing!