just_muse_me | 16.1.4. Unknown quote
16.1.4. “You learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh, but you can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry.” - Unknown
Co-written with justalilcontact | Follows THIS
Rogue had managed to get Luke and Tab to look after Mia, the drive to the hospital filled with thoughts about what to get them as thanks. Mostly because if her mind strayed, her thinking turned dark, and she didn't want to consider the possibility that Chase wouldn't be there for their daughter's first birthday. Denial wasn't just a place for the patient to spend their time.
She found Chase in the Oncology ward, lying on a hospital bed in one of those hideous gowns. He wasn't supposed to be back here so soon. Not like this, not as a patient. Her bottom lip started to quiver but she bit down on it as she took his hand in her gloved one, and sat in the chair next to his bed side. Her brown eyes filled with unshed tears, but she blinked them away and managed to give him a smile. "Ya know I always liked lookin' at ya ass, but there have gotta be better ways than wearin' one of those gowns."
Chase squeezed her hand tightly, his own eyes damp but he didn't let the tears fall. "I don't think the nana in the next bed over would appreciate me lying here naked," he joked weakly, his voice hoarse and tired. "She's already realised I was her surgeon five months ago and thinks I have lovely hands. Funny, she didn't mention the C word once, even if we're clearly both here for the same reason."
"You do have lovely hands," Rogue replied quietly. "Very talented too, not just good for surgery." She lifted his hand to her mouth and kissed it lightly, trusting herself not to hurt him. "Nana's can be tactful when they want. Maybe she also knows you don't want to talk about it as much as she probably doesn't."
Chase nodded and drew in a slow breath. With Rogue here, he seemed to have managed to get a grip on his wavering emotions. Evie had been right. Alone was just fucked. Alone set a domino effect of fear and worry, not to mention the ability to give into all the what-ifs. "I don't think she would've bought my cover story that I was here researching the comfort of the mattresses for the hospital." He wet his dry lips and adjusted the gown around his chest. "Is Mia okay? Who has her?"
"Pity, because I think it's a valid story. The beds do need to be more comfortable." Rogue stroked her thumb across the back of his hand, and watched her husband. Her stomach was a tight knot of worry, but she tried not to let it show. "She's fine, Doc. Luke volunteered. I tried calling Lachlan, and got Luke. Riley's been kind of restless today, so Lachlan and Tara had their hands full. Luke volunteered his services, so I said yes. I trust him, because Lachlan and Tara do. I doubt Mia will be too interested in eating his fiancee's face, so there shouldn't be too many problems."
"I was talking to Tara yesterday afternoon and she mentioned he was keeping them on their toes. They would've still taken her, though. Luke's a lifesaver." Chase kept a tight grip on Rogue's hand, tighter than it normally would have been. "Wilson's fast-tracking the tests for the results. He said I could've gone home but strongly suggested I wait. That's... I don't think that's necessarily a good thing."
"I'm sure Luke probably just took Mia back to Lachlan's. For all we know she's got five babysitter's if big Riley's there, too. It'll be her and little Riley's first sleepover." That thought should have made her smile, but it was only a small one. Rogue didn't mind Chase's grip, and placed her other hand on top of his to reassure him. She actually wanted to climb in the bed with him, but the nana next door might not have appreciated that anymore than her husband being naked. "Okay... so we'll wait. It's not... I mean, we can handle anythin', Doc. Whatever shit gets thrown at us, we've handled it."
Chase smiled a little too. Tara and Lachlan had produced a gorgeous little boy and Chase had no qualms about his daughter growing up with other influences like their friends. The worry about his daughter abated at the news she was in good hands. He would probably trust very few people with her, but their close-knit social group were definitely people he did trust... with his and his family's lives. But he put his hand over his eyes as a wave of emotion choked him up. "You don't need any of this," he told her in a hoarse whisper.
Rogue frowned as she stood up to pull his hand from his eyes so she could look at him, and he could see her face. "Doc... Rob, ya need to listen to me, okay? I ain't goin' anywhere. I ain't gonna leave ya because of this. Maybe I don't need it, but you don't need it either. None of that matters though, because we have it. So we're gonna get through it, and we're gonna deal with whatever the tests say together. You and me. We made a promise, Doc. I ain't plannin' on breakin' it."
Chase nodded a little and brushed away at the stray tears with the edge of his hand. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "This is just... like one of my biggest fears coming true. Ever since I heard my father had cancer, it has been the slightest niggle at the back of my head that it could happen to me. I just never expected it to be this."
Rogue decided to ignore the nana in the next bed, since it sounded like she was snoring away peacefully anyway, and slid in beside Chase so she could wrap her arm around his shoulders and kiss his temple. "Landin' you in a coma was one of my biggest fears, but we got through it. I know it's fucked up, sugar, but maybe we're both facin' our fears for a reason? And don't be sorry, okay? Just like I wasn't allowed to be sorry."
"I'm terrified," Chase said quietly. "And I know that's probably hypocritical considering I'm a doctor and make a living trying to reassure people they will be just fine, but there is nothing nice about cancer treatments. I keep praying something else shows up on the scan and I can go home and forget all this shit happened. It doesn't really help being in the Oncology ward. Hypocritical also, but seeing people in their final stages here is just..." He trailed off with a shake of his head. He didn't need to elaborate.
"I know, Doc, I know..." Rogue closed her eyes as she rest her head on his shoulder and took his hand again. She still didn't really want to let herself dwell on what all this meant, but it was inescapable. Her husband might have cancer. They wouldn't know if it was isolated to the one spot, and if it wasn't then the Doc would have to go through all kinds of pain, even then he might not get better. Rogue tried to swallow down a big lump that was sitting in her throat, but it didn't shift. "I don't want ya to die. I ain't ready for that, yet. I don't wanna lose ya. I can't. I ain't strong enough to live without ya."
That did it for Chase and the resolve broke. Tears spilled over and he shook his head, wrapping his arms tightly around her. "I don't know if I can promise I won't," he told her, talking quietly against her ear so only she could hear him. "But whatever they tell me to do, I'll do it. No matter how hard it is. There's no way I'm taking this without a fight."
"Good, because if you don't fight, I'll kick your ass," Rogue warned him as the tears started to spill down her own cheeks. She hugged him back just as tight, not letting go. "I'll help you, I always will. But I can't do the fighting for you, as much as I want to."
"And I can't do it without you," Chase whispered, not letting go of her.
"You don't have to, that's the point. I'm ya wife, and I love ya." Rogue turned her face to look at him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I'll always be here, Doc. Always."
All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe
Word Count | 1,412
Co-written with justalilcontact | Follows THIS
Rogue had managed to get Luke and Tab to look after Mia, the drive to the hospital filled with thoughts about what to get them as thanks. Mostly because if her mind strayed, her thinking turned dark, and she didn't want to consider the possibility that Chase wouldn't be there for their daughter's first birthday. Denial wasn't just a place for the patient to spend their time.
She found Chase in the Oncology ward, lying on a hospital bed in one of those hideous gowns. He wasn't supposed to be back here so soon. Not like this, not as a patient. Her bottom lip started to quiver but she bit down on it as she took his hand in her gloved one, and sat in the chair next to his bed side. Her brown eyes filled with unshed tears, but she blinked them away and managed to give him a smile. "Ya know I always liked lookin' at ya ass, but there have gotta be better ways than wearin' one of those gowns."
Chase squeezed her hand tightly, his own eyes damp but he didn't let the tears fall. "I don't think the nana in the next bed over would appreciate me lying here naked," he joked weakly, his voice hoarse and tired. "She's already realised I was her surgeon five months ago and thinks I have lovely hands. Funny, she didn't mention the C word once, even if we're clearly both here for the same reason."
"You do have lovely hands," Rogue replied quietly. "Very talented too, not just good for surgery." She lifted his hand to her mouth and kissed it lightly, trusting herself not to hurt him. "Nana's can be tactful when they want. Maybe she also knows you don't want to talk about it as much as she probably doesn't."
Chase nodded and drew in a slow breath. With Rogue here, he seemed to have managed to get a grip on his wavering emotions. Evie had been right. Alone was just fucked. Alone set a domino effect of fear and worry, not to mention the ability to give into all the what-ifs. "I don't think she would've bought my cover story that I was here researching the comfort of the mattresses for the hospital." He wet his dry lips and adjusted the gown around his chest. "Is Mia okay? Who has her?"
"Pity, because I think it's a valid story. The beds do need to be more comfortable." Rogue stroked her thumb across the back of his hand, and watched her husband. Her stomach was a tight knot of worry, but she tried not to let it show. "She's fine, Doc. Luke volunteered. I tried calling Lachlan, and got Luke. Riley's been kind of restless today, so Lachlan and Tara had their hands full. Luke volunteered his services, so I said yes. I trust him, because Lachlan and Tara do. I doubt Mia will be too interested in eating his fiancee's face, so there shouldn't be too many problems."
"I was talking to Tara yesterday afternoon and she mentioned he was keeping them on their toes. They would've still taken her, though. Luke's a lifesaver." Chase kept a tight grip on Rogue's hand, tighter than it normally would have been. "Wilson's fast-tracking the tests for the results. He said I could've gone home but strongly suggested I wait. That's... I don't think that's necessarily a good thing."
"I'm sure Luke probably just took Mia back to Lachlan's. For all we know she's got five babysitter's if big Riley's there, too. It'll be her and little Riley's first sleepover." That thought should have made her smile, but it was only a small one. Rogue didn't mind Chase's grip, and placed her other hand on top of his to reassure him. She actually wanted to climb in the bed with him, but the nana next door might not have appreciated that anymore than her husband being naked. "Okay... so we'll wait. It's not... I mean, we can handle anythin', Doc. Whatever shit gets thrown at us, we've handled it."
Chase smiled a little too. Tara and Lachlan had produced a gorgeous little boy and Chase had no qualms about his daughter growing up with other influences like their friends. The worry about his daughter abated at the news she was in good hands. He would probably trust very few people with her, but their close-knit social group were definitely people he did trust... with his and his family's lives. But he put his hand over his eyes as a wave of emotion choked him up. "You don't need any of this," he told her in a hoarse whisper.
Rogue frowned as she stood up to pull his hand from his eyes so she could look at him, and he could see her face. "Doc... Rob, ya need to listen to me, okay? I ain't goin' anywhere. I ain't gonna leave ya because of this. Maybe I don't need it, but you don't need it either. None of that matters though, because we have it. So we're gonna get through it, and we're gonna deal with whatever the tests say together. You and me. We made a promise, Doc. I ain't plannin' on breakin' it."
Chase nodded a little and brushed away at the stray tears with the edge of his hand. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "This is just... like one of my biggest fears coming true. Ever since I heard my father had cancer, it has been the slightest niggle at the back of my head that it could happen to me. I just never expected it to be this."
Rogue decided to ignore the nana in the next bed, since it sounded like she was snoring away peacefully anyway, and slid in beside Chase so she could wrap her arm around his shoulders and kiss his temple. "Landin' you in a coma was one of my biggest fears, but we got through it. I know it's fucked up, sugar, but maybe we're both facin' our fears for a reason? And don't be sorry, okay? Just like I wasn't allowed to be sorry."
"I'm terrified," Chase said quietly. "And I know that's probably hypocritical considering I'm a doctor and make a living trying to reassure people they will be just fine, but there is nothing nice about cancer treatments. I keep praying something else shows up on the scan and I can go home and forget all this shit happened. It doesn't really help being in the Oncology ward. Hypocritical also, but seeing people in their final stages here is just..." He trailed off with a shake of his head. He didn't need to elaborate.
"I know, Doc, I know..." Rogue closed her eyes as she rest her head on his shoulder and took his hand again. She still didn't really want to let herself dwell on what all this meant, but it was inescapable. Her husband might have cancer. They wouldn't know if it was isolated to the one spot, and if it wasn't then the Doc would have to go through all kinds of pain, even then he might not get better. Rogue tried to swallow down a big lump that was sitting in her throat, but it didn't shift. "I don't want ya to die. I ain't ready for that, yet. I don't wanna lose ya. I can't. I ain't strong enough to live without ya."
That did it for Chase and the resolve broke. Tears spilled over and he shook his head, wrapping his arms tightly around her. "I don't know if I can promise I won't," he told her, talking quietly against her ear so only she could hear him. "But whatever they tell me to do, I'll do it. No matter how hard it is. There's no way I'm taking this without a fight."
"Good, because if you don't fight, I'll kick your ass," Rogue warned him as the tears started to spill down her own cheeks. She hugged him back just as tight, not letting go. "I'll help you, I always will. But I can't do the fighting for you, as much as I want to."
"And I can't do it without you," Chase whispered, not letting go of her.
"You don't have to, that's the point. I'm ya wife, and I love ya." Rogue turned her face to look at him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I'll always be here, Doc. Always."
All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe
Word Count | 1,412