muse_shuffle | April Disc Two
19. They hold my hand and ask me to pull through
A voice I know says dear, he probably can’t hear you...
[‘Air’ - Ben Folds Five]
Chase turned on the shower as hard as it would possibly go and set the temperature to hot just shy of scorching. He barely even flinched when he stepped into the heavy spray and let the sobering needles of water pierce his face. His hand remained on the tap as he just stood there, the water soaking his hair and skin. He didn’t need it to be cleansing, he just needed it to remind him he was still alive.
Fingers threaded through the stringy wet strands of his blond hair and he paused in the action, stilling as he became aware of the hair tangled around his fingers. The grip became tighter and he had to lean against the shower wall so he didn’t stumble. The numbing realisation dawned on him that he would lose his hair. He had spent the day in the Oncology ward and it hadn’t once crossed his mind that he would lose his. It would be a small sacrifice to fight for his life, but all the shock, grief and fear that was dragging at every fibre of his body couldn’t offer him a capacity to fight this one little straw that was about to break the proverbial camel’s back.
He tore his hands away from his head as he broke down in a wracking wave of tears. He slid down the wall to the floor of the shower and drew his knees up, hugging his arms around them as if the embrace could protect him from the disease festering away inside his body. The hot, sharp water spray still beat down on him, pelting against his bare back and the top of his head. It should have hurt but he could hardly feel it. It was hot, but he just felt a chilling cold inside that was settling around his heart and stomach. He was staring death in the face with the very stark reality that he might not be able to fight it. He might leave his wife and his daughter alone and miss out on all the wonderful things that anticipation promised from getting married and starting a family. He might not feel any of it.
He sat on the floor of the shower for a countless period of time and just cried. Not for the fact he was ill and had a tough battle ahead of him, but for his wife and his daughter, and the indescribable pain that came from the realisation he might not be with them forever.
Rogue [justalilcontact] referenced with permission
Word Count | 419
A voice I know says dear, he probably can’t hear you...
[‘Air’ - Ben Folds Five]
Chase turned on the shower as hard as it would possibly go and set the temperature to hot just shy of scorching. He barely even flinched when he stepped into the heavy spray and let the sobering needles of water pierce his face. His hand remained on the tap as he just stood there, the water soaking his hair and skin. He didn’t need it to be cleansing, he just needed it to remind him he was still alive.
Fingers threaded through the stringy wet strands of his blond hair and he paused in the action, stilling as he became aware of the hair tangled around his fingers. The grip became tighter and he had to lean against the shower wall so he didn’t stumble. The numbing realisation dawned on him that he would lose his hair. He had spent the day in the Oncology ward and it hadn’t once crossed his mind that he would lose his. It would be a small sacrifice to fight for his life, but all the shock, grief and fear that was dragging at every fibre of his body couldn’t offer him a capacity to fight this one little straw that was about to break the proverbial camel’s back.
He tore his hands away from his head as he broke down in a wracking wave of tears. He slid down the wall to the floor of the shower and drew his knees up, hugging his arms around them as if the embrace could protect him from the disease festering away inside his body. The hot, sharp water spray still beat down on him, pelting against his bare back and the top of his head. It should have hurt but he could hardly feel it. It was hot, but he just felt a chilling cold inside that was settling around his heart and stomach. He was staring death in the face with the very stark reality that he might not be able to fight it. He might leave his wife and his daughter alone and miss out on all the wonderful things that anticipation promised from getting married and starting a family. He might not feel any of it.
He sat on the floor of the shower for a countless period of time and just cried. Not for the fact he was ill and had a tough battle ahead of him, but for his wife and his daughter, and the indescribable pain that came from the realisation he might not be with them forever.
Rogue [justalilcontact] referenced with permission
Word Count | 419