Obligatory post about Cravache
Seriously, when you sign up to hang out around the HP fandom you're legally required to make a bit of a fuss about stuff this drama-inducing.
First, I must preface this by saying that I didn't know her personally. So this at least won't be a "Oh no, we were such good friends and I hope she's okay" post. Plenty of those already. But this has inspired more contemplation within me than the fandom usually does.
I don't feel any scorn toward her for wanting a new and anonymous face. Somewhere to stick her writings that she wasn't comfortable showing off as cravache, that's completely understandable. Everyone's got their secrets, I suppose, and wanting for them to remain as such, or not wanting cravache to be judged by saxx's actions, wasn't a bad thing. But why not leave it at that?
The troubling part is the entirely new persona that was set out for the world to ingest as fact. To manipulate saxx's fans and friends into believing this, and emotionally investing in him. That's the worrying part, really, because what could the gain have been? cravache was well-known and well-liked already, it's not as though she posed as saxx in exchange for popularity. I hope. Maybe it was all a big fun extended roleplay. But why not mention that? "Hey, everyone who's moved by saxx's poignant plight, don't get yourselves too worked up. Just another story I'm trying out." Would it have lost impact? Would it have been less dramatic, less heart-rending or -warming? Perhaps, but it also wouldn't have generated this much drama to any degree.
She was contrite in her goodbye letter, as she should have been. And there seems to be a heavy dichotomy in the comments between those who are offended and feel betrayed, and those who just want to see if she's okay. And I empathize with them both, really. I would feel betrayed too, to be allowed to grow close to and be emotionally invested in someone who didn't exist as I knew them. And I think it's severely worrying that she took it to such a level and we don't know why she was compelled to do it at all.
But she seems to be in such a tight spot, and I don't think she deserves all the criticism she's had heaped on her. Could you imagine coming back to LJ and sifting through all the drama that this generated? I just can't fathom it and I don't know what I would do if I were her. I don't know if I could come back. But if this was prompted by some pressure in real life, writing and fandom and everyone are such an outlet for so many people and now she's severed even that.
But now it's really compromised the issues of trust in the fandom. Who's really who they say they are, and how can you possibly be sure? You can't be and it's unnerving. That's one of the beauties and dangers of the internet and everyone takes their chances by trusting these strangers, really, that we're so close to. And it brings us to an awkward point, really, because how much are we to expect from said strangers? True gender/name/situation? What should it matter if it's just as entertaining either way? It does, somehow, and it's just a very hurtful situation.
I don't know what else I can say, but I'm just so unsettled and uncomfortable with it. In any case, I hope cravache gets worked out what she needs to and I hope that she takes more solace in her friends than she takes humiliation by everyone else. And I hope that those hurt by her are understanding, or at least just let her go. Because it's an awful situation that's arisen and more than anything I just want it resolved.
First, I must preface this by saying that I didn't know her personally. So this at least won't be a "Oh no, we were such good friends and I hope she's okay" post. Plenty of those already. But this has inspired more contemplation within me than the fandom usually does.
I don't feel any scorn toward her for wanting a new and anonymous face. Somewhere to stick her writings that she wasn't comfortable showing off as cravache, that's completely understandable. Everyone's got their secrets, I suppose, and wanting for them to remain as such, or not wanting cravache to be judged by saxx's actions, wasn't a bad thing. But why not leave it at that?
The troubling part is the entirely new persona that was set out for the world to ingest as fact. To manipulate saxx's fans and friends into believing this, and emotionally investing in him. That's the worrying part, really, because what could the gain have been? cravache was well-known and well-liked already, it's not as though she posed as saxx in exchange for popularity. I hope. Maybe it was all a big fun extended roleplay. But why not mention that? "Hey, everyone who's moved by saxx's poignant plight, don't get yourselves too worked up. Just another story I'm trying out." Would it have lost impact? Would it have been less dramatic, less heart-rending or -warming? Perhaps, but it also wouldn't have generated this much drama to any degree.
She was contrite in her goodbye letter, as she should have been. And there seems to be a heavy dichotomy in the comments between those who are offended and feel betrayed, and those who just want to see if she's okay. And I empathize with them both, really. I would feel betrayed too, to be allowed to grow close to and be emotionally invested in someone who didn't exist as I knew them. And I think it's severely worrying that she took it to such a level and we don't know why she was compelled to do it at all.
But she seems to be in such a tight spot, and I don't think she deserves all the criticism she's had heaped on her. Could you imagine coming back to LJ and sifting through all the drama that this generated? I just can't fathom it and I don't know what I would do if I were her. I don't know if I could come back. But if this was prompted by some pressure in real life, writing and fandom and everyone are such an outlet for so many people and now she's severed even that.
But now it's really compromised the issues of trust in the fandom. Who's really who they say they are, and how can you possibly be sure? You can't be and it's unnerving. That's one of the beauties and dangers of the internet and everyone takes their chances by trusting these strangers, really, that we're so close to. And it brings us to an awkward point, really, because how much are we to expect from said strangers? True gender/name/situation? What should it matter if it's just as entertaining either way? It does, somehow, and it's just a very hurtful situation.
I don't know what else I can say, but I'm just so unsettled and uncomfortable with it. In any case, I hope cravache gets worked out what she needs to and I hope that she takes more solace in her friends than she takes humiliation by everyone else. And I hope that those hurt by her are understanding, or at least just let her go. Because it's an awful situation that's arisen and more than anything I just want it resolved.