Comment Fic!
Because this shit never stops, does it?
Leverage, Were!any/any(/any), The realisation that lycanthropy is spread through bodily fluids and so sex is totally out of the question.
Safe Sex, Eliot/Hardison/Parker, PG-13
Eliot thought watching Parker and Hardison dance around each other was some kind of torture, worse than Sophie's acting. They did everything they could to include him - he shared their bed, they ate meals together, Parker even kept two spare harnesses in his closet. But he could not watch them making out at the bar, knowing that, in few minutes, they would be upstairs in Hardison's bed. And god, he knew that afterward, they'd hold him between him and make him feel as good as they could, but it didn't change anything.
"Do we have a problem?"
Eliot looked up from where he was trying to find a solution in his whiskey and glared at Nate. Nate didn't know, couldn't know. He didn't know about Eliot's little condition and he didn't know that he was a part of Hardison and Parker as much as they were a part of each other.
"No." He tossed back his shot and poured himself enough. Maybe if he drank himself stupid, it wouldn't feel so bad when he finally crawled into their bed when they were soft and relaxed and smelled amazingly of sex.
"I saw you watching them," Nate continued. "If you're that jealous of Hardison..."
"Jealous?! Damn right I'm jealous!" And maybe he'd been drinking a little too much because Hardison and Parker had stopped kissing and were looking at him now. "I'd give fucking anything to have that again... Instead - instead I just get whatever's leftover, whatever's safe."
"Hey, hey," Hardison said, coming over and resting a hand on his shoulder. "You ain't just getting leftovers. You got whatever you want, you know that."
Eliot could see from the look on Nate's face that he was starting to connect the dots, but he couldn't bring himself to care. "And I ain't do that to you, not after what Aimee did to me."
"I could kill her," Parker offered brightly. "Or get her killed. I know these two guys..."
Eliot shook his head. "Not her fault. She didn't know that's how it works. But I can't-"
Hardison pulled him into a tight hug and judged him drunk enough to pepper kissed all over his face. "Nothing not safe. But there's plenty of other ways to have sex, man. I've just been waiting for you to ask."
Leverage, Eliot/any, you make me want to pretend to be a better man.
Bad Guys, Eliot/Hardison, PG
Eliot put the plate of sushi in front of Hardison and hoped he'd eat it and stop asking questions.
"So Nate said you killed a dude with an appetizer one time," Hardison continued, like Eliot wasn't glaring at him.
Eliot grunted. Maybe if he wasn't verbal, Hardison would shut up. Maybe. In another life time.
"How many guys have you killed?" Hardison finally asked. Then he swallowed his sushi in, like, three bites.
"Twelve," Eliot lied, looking him straight in the eye.
The way Hardison choked at that meant that it was a good thing Eliot lied. "Were they all bad guys?"
"Yeah," Eliot lied, wishing it were true, wishing he could be the man Hardison needed him to be and still do his job. "They were all bad guys."
Leverage, Eliot + Team, "It's okay, you hear me? All of this. It's okay."
After Life, Team, PG Warning: Death fic. Sort of.
"It's okay, you hear me? All of this. It's okay."
He can feel his team thrumming with just how not-okay it all is. He thinks he's lucky they haven't quite figured everything out yet, that they're still young in his world, still practically children. He also knows that makes them vulnerable, makes them prey in the eyes of his colleagues.
"That - that is my body. And I look very dead." Parker's voice is flat, unfaltering.
"You are. You're all dead, actually," Eliot told her. It was relaxing, almost to be back here, back in his home with his own skin.
"You killed us. That is not okay," Hardison told him, finally finding his voice.
"Not exactly." When he's met immediately with four glares, Eliot falters. "Well, yes, I did. But it's okay."
"I don't want to spend my afterlife with my murderer, " Sophie declares. "I want to spend it on a yacht, surrounded by diamonds and priceless art."
Eliot rolls his eyes. "That is not how the afterlife works, okay? I killed you for a reason."
"Wait a sec," Parker says, still staring at the four bodies arranged as a bloodied cross in the warehouse. "I don't see your body. Did you die somewhere else?"
"I'm not dead. Or I'm always dead. That's not very clear," Eliot tells her. "If I'm dead, it's been for a very long time."
At last, Nate speaks. "Tell us what's going on, why you did what you did."
"I needed a sacrifice, the death of my family," Eliot says. "It's the only thing that can free me of the chains of death. And now it's done."
"And we're still dead!"
Eliot grins at that, finally free of the last vestiges of his ancient slavery. "Not exactly. We've just got to steal life back."
Leverage, Eliot and any, real men wear pink
Pink, Eliot and Hardison, PG
"Is that... a pink sweater?" Hardison asked, the orange soda halfway to his mouth.
Eliot looks down at himself. Timberlands, Levis, wool sweater, paisley apron to protect it all from spattering grease. Yeah, he's good to go. "So?"
"Just... really manly there." Hardison smirks and gulps down his soda, like it's a real drink. "Did you get it in the girl's section?"
Eliot frowned at him. "I tried to get the blood out, but it ran."
Hardison choked so hard on the soda that Eliot doesn't have the heart to tell him that blood stains brown and he got the sweater from Elizabeth-the-stewardess. And that it's gotten him more dates than even his blue plaid shirt.
Leverage, Were!any/any(/any), The realisation that lycanthropy is spread through bodily fluids and so sex is totally out of the question.
Safe Sex, Eliot/Hardison/Parker, PG-13
Eliot thought watching Parker and Hardison dance around each other was some kind of torture, worse than Sophie's acting. They did everything they could to include him - he shared their bed, they ate meals together, Parker even kept two spare harnesses in his closet. But he could not watch them making out at the bar, knowing that, in few minutes, they would be upstairs in Hardison's bed. And god, he knew that afterward, they'd hold him between him and make him feel as good as they could, but it didn't change anything.
"Do we have a problem?"
Eliot looked up from where he was trying to find a solution in his whiskey and glared at Nate. Nate didn't know, couldn't know. He didn't know about Eliot's little condition and he didn't know that he was a part of Hardison and Parker as much as they were a part of each other.
"No." He tossed back his shot and poured himself enough. Maybe if he drank himself stupid, it wouldn't feel so bad when he finally crawled into their bed when they were soft and relaxed and smelled amazingly of sex.
"I saw you watching them," Nate continued. "If you're that jealous of Hardison..."
"Jealous?! Damn right I'm jealous!" And maybe he'd been drinking a little too much because Hardison and Parker had stopped kissing and were looking at him now. "I'd give fucking anything to have that again... Instead - instead I just get whatever's leftover, whatever's safe."
"Hey, hey," Hardison said, coming over and resting a hand on his shoulder. "You ain't just getting leftovers. You got whatever you want, you know that."
Eliot could see from the look on Nate's face that he was starting to connect the dots, but he couldn't bring himself to care. "And I ain't do that to you, not after what Aimee did to me."
"I could kill her," Parker offered brightly. "Or get her killed. I know these two guys..."
Eliot shook his head. "Not her fault. She didn't know that's how it works. But I can't-"
Hardison pulled him into a tight hug and judged him drunk enough to pepper kissed all over his face. "Nothing not safe. But there's plenty of other ways to have sex, man. I've just been waiting for you to ask."
Leverage, Eliot/any, you make me want to pretend to be a better man.
Bad Guys, Eliot/Hardison, PG
Eliot put the plate of sushi in front of Hardison and hoped he'd eat it and stop asking questions.
"So Nate said you killed a dude with an appetizer one time," Hardison continued, like Eliot wasn't glaring at him.
Eliot grunted. Maybe if he wasn't verbal, Hardison would shut up. Maybe. In another life time.
"How many guys have you killed?" Hardison finally asked. Then he swallowed his sushi in, like, three bites.
"Twelve," Eliot lied, looking him straight in the eye.
The way Hardison choked at that meant that it was a good thing Eliot lied. "Were they all bad guys?"
"Yeah," Eliot lied, wishing it were true, wishing he could be the man Hardison needed him to be and still do his job. "They were all bad guys."
Leverage, Eliot + Team, "It's okay, you hear me? All of this. It's okay."
After Life, Team, PG Warning: Death fic. Sort of.
"It's okay, you hear me? All of this. It's okay."
He can feel his team thrumming with just how not-okay it all is. He thinks he's lucky they haven't quite figured everything out yet, that they're still young in his world, still practically children. He also knows that makes them vulnerable, makes them prey in the eyes of his colleagues.
"That - that is my body. And I look very dead." Parker's voice is flat, unfaltering.
"You are. You're all dead, actually," Eliot told her. It was relaxing, almost to be back here, back in his home with his own skin.
"You killed us. That is not okay," Hardison told him, finally finding his voice.
"Not exactly." When he's met immediately with four glares, Eliot falters. "Well, yes, I did. But it's okay."
"I don't want to spend my afterlife with my murderer, " Sophie declares. "I want to spend it on a yacht, surrounded by diamonds and priceless art."
Eliot rolls his eyes. "That is not how the afterlife works, okay? I killed you for a reason."
"Wait a sec," Parker says, still staring at the four bodies arranged as a bloodied cross in the warehouse. "I don't see your body. Did you die somewhere else?"
"I'm not dead. Or I'm always dead. That's not very clear," Eliot tells her. "If I'm dead, it's been for a very long time."
At last, Nate speaks. "Tell us what's going on, why you did what you did."
"I needed a sacrifice, the death of my family," Eliot says. "It's the only thing that can free me of the chains of death. And now it's done."
"And we're still dead!"
Eliot grins at that, finally free of the last vestiges of his ancient slavery. "Not exactly. We've just got to steal life back."
Leverage, Eliot and any, real men wear pink
Pink, Eliot and Hardison, PG
"Is that... a pink sweater?" Hardison asked, the orange soda halfway to his mouth.
Eliot looks down at himself. Timberlands, Levis, wool sweater, paisley apron to protect it all from spattering grease. Yeah, he's good to go. "So?"
"Just... really manly there." Hardison smirks and gulps down his soda, like it's a real drink. "Did you get it in the girl's section?"
Eliot frowned at him. "I tried to get the blood out, but it ran."
Hardison choked so hard on the soda that Eliot doesn't have the heart to tell him that blood stains brown and he got the sweater from Elizabeth-the-stewardess. And that it's gotten him more dates than even his blue plaid shirt.