Dear Mr. Gaskarth (45/46)
Titled: Dear Mr. Gaskarth (45/46)
Author: chasingxrabbits
Pairing: Jalex, Slight Merrikat and Olex (Alex and Oli)
Rating: NC-17
Dedications: Everyone who has commented on this. Thank you. Sincerely thank you. <3
Disclaimer: I don't own the boys at all, but the plot belongs to sausajizz and myself
Beta: paigerhiann, the lovely darling
Facebook: HERE (If you add me here, introduce yourself please.)
Tumblr: HERE
Masterpost
Depressed couldn't even begin to describe what he was feeling. Not even close. It didn't even scratch the surface of what he could see building on the inside of him; like the walls of his ribcage where lined with a thick black tar that made it hard to breathe.
His mom had tried to talk to him a few times, but every time he'd look up at her to answer, she'd get this look on her face like she was scared of him, scared of the dark circles under his eyes from not even getting a wink of sleep for the past three days.
He'd stayed home from school without question, just sulking around in the basement, only getting out of his bed when he needed to use the bathroom, or the couple times he'd went upstairs to let his dog out or eat, but other than that, Delilah stayed by his side constantly. He guessed he had some higher power to thank for designing her so she could tell he was fucked up. He suspected a few times that maybe she was a human girl trapped in a dog's body, but not a hot girl, because they don't have feelings, and would never stick by his side through this. No, Delilah was a comic-loving, glasses-wearing, not-hot-but-cute girl trapped in the spotted pelt of a Dalmatian, and he was grateful for that. He only wished he could discuss things with her and have her answer more than just a bark or two.
The following Monday morning at five am, he decided it was a good idea to shower, because he was starting to smell like death itself, so he turned the water on, as hot as it would go and got into the shower.
As cliché and emo as he thought it sounded, it felt good to know that his body was still working; that the hot water still hurt like a bitch on her cycle and the he could still feel it.
Though feeling anything was the last thing he wanted to do, if you asked him.
He went back to school that day and was almost instantly met with a worried Kyle. As much as Jack loved him, he wouldn't shut up.
‘Jack, where were you’, ‘Jack, are you okay’. ‘Jack, what happened to Alex?’
It didn't take long for Jack to become legitimately annoyed with the boy.
"Can we just talk about something else?" Jack asked at lunch. They were sitting alone at their own table, Rian and his friends absent for some reason.
Jack guessed that Kyle could see the desperation in his eyes by the way that things instantly got uncomfortable and tense.
"I guess," Kyle said quietly, taking a bit into his sandwich that he'd packed. "I had a pretty great time at that party after you left."
Jack looked up at him, only half listening but he was grateful to the boy for trying.
Kyle waited for him to say something but kept going awkwardly. "Yeah, uhm. I actually went out with Caleb again last night."
"Oh yeah?" Jack said, pushing around a few cornels of corn that were laying on his plate.
"Yeah," Kyle answered, bright blue eyes lighting up at Jack giving even the smallest amount of interest into the conversation. "I think he likes me. He's actually not just a total air head like you'd think; there's something under that red hair."
"Yeah, he's pretty cool," Jack agreed lightly, taking a bite of the chicken salad he had on his plate and not really tasting it.
"He's really cool. You've done something amazing by putting us together," Kyle teased, but he didn't get a response. So he did the only thing he knew how, he reached out and placed a cool hand under Jack's chin, just the finger tips. Jack gave him a confused frown for a second, but Kyle didn't seem to care, he stood up in the lunchroom, keeping the hand under Jack's chin and walked over to his side of the table, sitting next to the older.
"It's okay, Jack. I don't know what happened, but it's going to be okay," he assured, keeping Jack's eyes as he leaned in, resting his head on the senior's shoulder.
Jack nodded a little, honestly appreciating what Kyle was doing - comforting him - even though people were kind of starting to notice them. Jack just shot anyone staring at them a glare, wrapping his arm around the platinum blonde's waist.
"Maybe we can skip the rest of the day and get coffee," Kyle suggested, blue eyes flicking up at Jack, grinning up at him. Jack laughed a little, for the first time in days and nodded.
"Look at you skipping class," Jack complimented, giving him back a smirk. "A regular bad ass."
They skipped the rest of their classes, finding warmth from the outside in the coffee shop on Broadway.
Kyle bought them both a hot beverage and they talked. Jack told him everything that was wrong and right, and he found that it was easier to talk to Kyle than he'd suspected. Maybe it was because the boy was just such a good listener - talking when he needed to and nodding at the right times to let Jack know he was taking in what was said.
"So just like that," Jack said, letting out a long breath. "He just left."
Kyle's blue eyes looked sad, like he was feeling for Jack. "I'm really sorry," Kyle said, turning his head to the side and seeing the barista staring at them with watchful eyes.
Kyle frowned, because the second he met eyes with the employee, he adverted his dark brown eyes, his chestnut colored fringe coming over his face.
"Jack," Kyle whispered, scowling a little. "That guy is listening to us."
Jack's eyes opened wide, and he cringed a little, instantly thinking it was Oli. He whipped his head around so fast that he thought he was going to give himself whip lash. He was relieved as fuck to see this tall, lanky man staring back at them with wide eyes.
"Erm, William, I'm William," he stumbled quietly, ringing the rag he had in his hands into the bucket at his feet. He was wiping the table adjacent to them, listening in when he was caught.
"Hi, William," Kyle said gently, giving him a curious look. "Can we help you?"
The man - William - gave them a little shrug as he leaned onto the table. "Well, you were talking about Alex Gaskarth, right?"
Jack scowled hard, obviously sceptical. "What about him?" he snapped and William shook his head.
"It's just that I know him," William informed, staring down at the wet floor below him like he was scared to meet Jack's eyes. He was obviously upset by what he was remembering, his pale face contorting into a hard frown. "And if you helped him get away from where he was," William paused, pursing his lips as he finally looked up at the dark haired boy in front of him. "Then you're pretty much a hero in my book."
-
Jack spent the rest of the night chewing on that.
At first he would shake his head and laugh about it - about what that man had said.
Fucking hero. Right. All I did was get him a plane ticket and he did the rest of the work.
But then he thought about it a little more, thought about letting Alex go. It wasn't like he picked the man up and put him on the plane himself saying, "Go, my child, be free of your bonds!" or anything, but one thing that Jack did do that he never thought he could was let the man go.
Maybe he didn't drive Alex to the airport, but he did have the strength to let Alex walk out that door. His eyes shot to the front door from where he was sitting on the couch, the TV playing quietly. Letting Alex go was the hardest thing he'd had to do up until that point in his life.
No denying or hiding.