The Author Steps In - Episode 2 - Johnny Saves The Day!
I'm back with EPISODE 2!!!!! WEEEEEEEHOOOOOOO! ENJOY!!!!!!! EPISODE 3 ALSO ON IT'S WAY!!!!!!
TITLE: The Author Steps In
AUTHOR: Your Momma, just kidding! It's me, silly.
SUMMARY: The author steps in and the fourth wall takes one for the team. Written in script form because I'm demented or something.
RATING: PG-13 for now... >=)
EPISODE 2
Alarm Clock: BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
Marissa: Whathefuk? *rolls over*
Alarm Clock: BEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!
Marissa: WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!? *rolls out of bed, barges into John's room and throws a brick at the alarm clock*
Alarm Clock: Ow... dude, what the hell?
Marissa: WAKE UP! *throws brick at John*
John: *barely phased by brick* Wha? What time is it?
Marissa: WHAT TIME IS IT!?!?! IT'S TIME FOR MARISSA TO BE SLEEPING! WHAT IN THE WORLD DO YOU HAVE A 5AM ALARM SET FOR?!?!?!
John: Chas, wake up, exorcism. *pushes Chas out of bed*
Chas: *thud* k... *stands up* God Dammit! My ass feels like someone rammed a baseball bat up it. rubs ass
John: *face down in the pillow* You're welcome.
Marissa: Who the fuck schedules an exorcism at 5AM? The demon would still be asleep at this hour.
John: *starts getting dressed* We'll be back in an hour or two. Don't fuck up my apartment.
Marissa: Oh no, I'm coming with you! What kind of fangirl would I be if I didn't get to see my favorite seme in action.
Chas: No no no no no, if I don't get to see him do an exorcism neither do you! *also getting dressed*
Marissa: I already told you, I can do whatever I want and I'm coming with you two. I can make it so you get to watch too though Chas.
Chas: Welcome aboard. *Salutes*
John: Damn, I'm gonna have to keep both of you from getting killed?
Marissa: Hmm... not exactly...
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Marissa: WOOOOOOO! GO JOHN!!! PUNCH IT!!!!! RIGHT HOOK!!!! RIGHT HOOK!!!!!!!! *shoves popcorn in her mouth*
Chas: DO THE CHANT JOHN!!!! DO THE CHANT!!!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!! *throws popcorn in the air*
Marissa: See? Aren't I a genius? We can watch from inside our demon proof box and leave all the danger and dirty work to John!
Chas: Couldn't you have just written that the demon decided to leave the host or something so he didn't have to do the exorcism in the first place?
Marissa: Yeah. *eats more popcorn* WOOOOOOOOOOO THROW A BRICK AT EM!!!!!!!!!!
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All 3: *walking to the cab*
John: YOU COULD HAVE WHAT?
Marissa: I could have written the exorcism away.
John: WHY DIDN'T YOU?!?!
Marissa: Because it was a good show and I didn't want to miss it. Duh.
Out of Nowhere: Mew!
Chas: What was that?
Out of Nowhere Again: Mew!
Marissa: Sounds like a cat, or something.
John: *feels something brush against his leg * AH! What the fuck!?!?!
Kitten: Mew!
Chas: AWWWWWWW!!!! It's a kitten!!!!!
Marissa: I wonder what it's doing out here.
Chas: It must be a stray! Don't worry little buddy, we'll take you home and feed you till you explode! *picks up cat*
John: No way Chas! You're not bringing that thing into my house!
Chas: OUR house John. PLEASE JOHN? PLEEEEEEAAAAAASE?
John: Awww, he looks kinda cute holding the cat. NO! Dammit, no! We can't take in a cat!
Chas: Why not?
John: He looks so sad... Well, because...
Chas: *puppy dog eyes*
John: *sigh* Fine, but I'm not taking care of it.
Marissa: Cool beanz! What are you going to name it?
Kitten: * is black with white paws, a white stomach and a white face*
Chas: Johnny! Cause he looks so much like you John.
John: How does it look like me?
Chas: Look at him, all black and white, like you!
John: Great...
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Chas: What do we have around here for Johnny to eat?
John: Get this thing off me Chas!
Johnny: *all up in John's grill*
Chas: Awwww, he likes you! Hey Marissa, can you materialize some cat food for Johnny?
Marissa: Sure. * Writes* “Marissa Brand cat food materializes sci-fi transporter style on the table next to Chas.”
Marissa Brand Cat Food: *materializes sci-fi transporter style on the table next to Chas*
Chas: Marissa Brand?
Marissa: Awesome huh?
Chas: *opens can and puts it on the floor* Come here Johnny! Come get the food!
Johnny: *hops off John's lap and eats the food*
Chas: He's so little. I wonder if I can teach him any tricks.
Marissa: Like what?
Chas: Like fetching. * grabs ampule of holy water and rolls it across the floor* Fetch!
Johnny: *cocks head*
Marissa: Maybe you should do a monkey see, monkey do sort of thing. *picks up holy water * Like this. *rolls it away* Fetch Chas!
Chas: I'm not a cat!
Marissa: *Picks up Fanfiction Note threateningly.*
Chas: Fine. *crawls over, picks up ampule in his mouth and brings it back*
Marissa: Good boy *pats Chas' head*
Chas: You ready to try boy?
Johnny: *licks paw*
Chas: Alright! Fetch! *rolls water away*
Johnny: *chases after ampule and starts pawing at it and sliding it across the floor.*
Montage of Chas and Marissa Trying to Train the Cat: *happens*
Johnny: *finally brings back the ampule of holy water*
Chas: THANK GOD! *pets the cat victoriously* I have taught a cat to fetch!!!!
Marissa: You should give him a treat or something.
Chas: Um... you wanna materialize some cat treats for me?
Marissa: *sigh* Sure. *materializes Marissa Brand cat treats* I should start a pet food business.
John: Great, you've spent 4 hours teaching a cat to fetch. Congratulations on wasting your time.
Chas: Oh, you think it's cute. I know you do!
Phone: *rings*
John: *answers phone* Hello. Yes, this is. What's your address? I'll be there in a bit. *hangs up*
Chas: An exorcism?
John: Yeah, come on.
Chas: *grabs the cat and heads out the door*
John: Wait! You can't bring the cat!
Marissa: *in a teasing singsong fashion* Yes we can.
John: *sigh*
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John: *is exorcising*
Marissa, Chas and Johnny: *are in demon proof spectator's booth*
Marissa: WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! *throws popcorn* KICK HIM IN THE FACE!!!
Chas: Where'd Johnny go?
Marissa: What?
Chas: He's not in the booth!!!!! How'd he get out!?!?!
Marissa: I put in a kitty door in case he had to make a poo.
Chas: DAMN!! WHERE IS HE?!?!?! *looks out of booth*
John: *Gets pinned down by posessed guy, his last ampule of holy water rolling out of his reach.* DAMMIT!!!!!!!
Johnny: *walks up to holy water, clearly unafraid of possessed guy*
Chas: JOHNNY!!! COME BACK HERE!!!!
Johnny: *picks up holy water and drops it in John's hand.*
John: *smashes ampule on possessed guy's head*
Possessed Guy: AAAAAHHHHHHHHUNINTELIGABLEJARGANOFPAIN!!!! *becomes unpossessed*
Unpossessed Guy: Wow, thanks!
John: That'll be $400
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Everyone: *walking back to cab*
Chas: See, teaching him to fetch wasn't a waste of time.
Johnny: *was a good plot device*
Marissa: *holding Johnny* I think you have someone to thank John. *hands John the cat*
John: *awkwardly holds the cat* Uh... I don't think so.
Johnny: *licks John's face*
John: Ewwww! *discusted face*
Chas: *Giggles* Awww, he looks so cute holding the cat! Er, wait. No! THE CAT looks cute. Not John... yeah...
John: Someone else hold the cat!
Marissa: I will if you give me $10.
John: No! Get your own god damned money!
Marissa: *writes in note* "John gives Marissa $10"
John: *gives Marissa $10* Damn...
Chas: It's ok, I'll take the cat. *takes cat*
Marissa: I say we all go get some french toast!
Chas: LET'S DO IT!!!!!
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Get excited for Episode 3 because you'll crap your pants XD
TITLE: The Author Steps In
AUTHOR: Your Momma, just kidding! It's me, silly.
SUMMARY: The author steps in and the fourth wall takes one for the team. Written in script form because I'm demented or something.
RATING: PG-13 for now... >=)
EPISODE 2
Alarm Clock: BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
Marissa: Whathefuk? *rolls over*
Alarm Clock: BEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!
Marissa: WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!? *rolls out of bed, barges into John's room and throws a brick at the alarm clock*
Alarm Clock: Ow... dude, what the hell?
Marissa: WAKE UP! *throws brick at John*
John: *barely phased by brick* Wha? What time is it?
Marissa: WHAT TIME IS IT!?!?! IT'S TIME FOR MARISSA TO BE SLEEPING! WHAT IN THE WORLD DO YOU HAVE A 5AM ALARM SET FOR?!?!?!
John: Chas, wake up, exorcism. *pushes Chas out of bed*
Chas: *thud* k... *stands up* God Dammit! My ass feels like someone rammed a baseball bat up it. rubs ass
John: *face down in the pillow* You're welcome.
Marissa: Who the fuck schedules an exorcism at 5AM? The demon would still be asleep at this hour.
John: *starts getting dressed* We'll be back in an hour or two. Don't fuck up my apartment.
Marissa: Oh no, I'm coming with you! What kind of fangirl would I be if I didn't get to see my favorite seme in action.
Chas: No no no no no, if I don't get to see him do an exorcism neither do you! *also getting dressed*
Marissa: I already told you, I can do whatever I want and I'm coming with you two. I can make it so you get to watch too though Chas.
Chas: Welcome aboard. *Salutes*
John: Damn, I'm gonna have to keep both of you from getting killed?
Marissa: Hmm... not exactly...
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Marissa: WOOOOOOO! GO JOHN!!! PUNCH IT!!!!! RIGHT HOOK!!!! RIGHT HOOK!!!!!!!! *shoves popcorn in her mouth*
Chas: DO THE CHANT JOHN!!!! DO THE CHANT!!!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!! *throws popcorn in the air*
Marissa: See? Aren't I a genius? We can watch from inside our demon proof box and leave all the danger and dirty work to John!
Chas: Couldn't you have just written that the demon decided to leave the host or something so he didn't have to do the exorcism in the first place?
Marissa: Yeah. *eats more popcorn* WOOOOOOOOOOO THROW A BRICK AT EM!!!!!!!!!!
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All 3: *walking to the cab*
John: YOU COULD HAVE WHAT?
Marissa: I could have written the exorcism away.
John: WHY DIDN'T YOU?!?!
Marissa: Because it was a good show and I didn't want to miss it. Duh.
Out of Nowhere: Mew!
Chas: What was that?
Out of Nowhere Again: Mew!
Marissa: Sounds like a cat, or something.
John: *feels something brush against his leg * AH! What the fuck!?!?!
Kitten: Mew!
Chas: AWWWWWWW!!!! It's a kitten!!!!!
Marissa: I wonder what it's doing out here.
Chas: It must be a stray! Don't worry little buddy, we'll take you home and feed you till you explode! *picks up cat*
John: No way Chas! You're not bringing that thing into my house!
Chas: OUR house John. PLEASE JOHN? PLEEEEEEAAAAAASE?
John: Awww, he looks kinda cute holding the cat. NO! Dammit, no! We can't take in a cat!
Chas: Why not?
John: He looks so sad... Well, because...
Chas: *puppy dog eyes*
John: *sigh* Fine, but I'm not taking care of it.
Marissa: Cool beanz! What are you going to name it?
Kitten: * is black with white paws, a white stomach and a white face*
Chas: Johnny! Cause he looks so much like you John.
John: How does it look like me?
Chas: Look at him, all black and white, like you!
John: Great...
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Chas: What do we have around here for Johnny to eat?
John: Get this thing off me Chas!
Johnny: *all up in John's grill*
Chas: Awwww, he likes you! Hey Marissa, can you materialize some cat food for Johnny?
Marissa: Sure. * Writes* “Marissa Brand cat food materializes sci-fi transporter style on the table next to Chas.”
Marissa Brand Cat Food: *materializes sci-fi transporter style on the table next to Chas*
Chas: Marissa Brand?
Marissa: Awesome huh?
Chas: *opens can and puts it on the floor* Come here Johnny! Come get the food!
Johnny: *hops off John's lap and eats the food*
Chas: He's so little. I wonder if I can teach him any tricks.
Marissa: Like what?
Chas: Like fetching. * grabs ampule of holy water and rolls it across the floor* Fetch!
Johnny: *cocks head*
Marissa: Maybe you should do a monkey see, monkey do sort of thing. *picks up holy water * Like this. *rolls it away* Fetch Chas!
Chas: I'm not a cat!
Marissa: *Picks up Fanfiction Note threateningly.*
Chas: Fine. *crawls over, picks up ampule in his mouth and brings it back*
Marissa: Good boy *pats Chas' head*
Chas: You ready to try boy?
Johnny: *licks paw*
Chas: Alright! Fetch! *rolls water away*
Johnny: *chases after ampule and starts pawing at it and sliding it across the floor.*
Montage of Chas and Marissa Trying to Train the Cat: *happens*
Johnny: *finally brings back the ampule of holy water*
Chas: THANK GOD! *pets the cat victoriously* I have taught a cat to fetch!!!!
Marissa: You should give him a treat or something.
Chas: Um... you wanna materialize some cat treats for me?
Marissa: *sigh* Sure. *materializes Marissa Brand cat treats* I should start a pet food business.
John: Great, you've spent 4 hours teaching a cat to fetch. Congratulations on wasting your time.
Chas: Oh, you think it's cute. I know you do!
Phone: *rings*
John: *answers phone* Hello. Yes, this is. What's your address? I'll be there in a bit. *hangs up*
Chas: An exorcism?
John: Yeah, come on.
Chas: *grabs the cat and heads out the door*
John: Wait! You can't bring the cat!
Marissa: *in a teasing singsong fashion* Yes we can.
John: *sigh*
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John: *is exorcising*
Marissa, Chas and Johnny: *are in demon proof spectator's booth*
Marissa: WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! *throws popcorn* KICK HIM IN THE FACE!!!
Chas: Where'd Johnny go?
Marissa: What?
Chas: He's not in the booth!!!!! How'd he get out!?!?!
Marissa: I put in a kitty door in case he had to make a poo.
Chas: DAMN!! WHERE IS HE?!?!?! *looks out of booth*
John: *Gets pinned down by posessed guy, his last ampule of holy water rolling out of his reach.* DAMMIT!!!!!!!
Johnny: *walks up to holy water, clearly unafraid of possessed guy*
Chas: JOHNNY!!! COME BACK HERE!!!!
Johnny: *picks up holy water and drops it in John's hand.*
John: *smashes ampule on possessed guy's head*
Possessed Guy: AAAAAHHHHHHHHUNINTELIGABLEJARGANOFPAIN!!!! *becomes unpossessed*
Unpossessed Guy: Wow, thanks!
John: That'll be $400
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Everyone: *walking back to cab*
Chas: See, teaching him to fetch wasn't a waste of time.
Johnny: *was a good plot device*
Marissa: *holding Johnny* I think you have someone to thank John. *hands John the cat*
John: *awkwardly holds the cat* Uh... I don't think so.
Johnny: *licks John's face*
John: Ewwww! *discusted face*
Chas: *Giggles* Awww, he looks so cute holding the cat! Er, wait. No! THE CAT looks cute. Not John... yeah...
John: Someone else hold the cat!
Marissa: I will if you give me $10.
John: No! Get your own god damned money!
Marissa: *writes in note* "John gives Marissa $10"
John: *gives Marissa $10* Damn...
Chas: It's ok, I'll take the cat. *takes cat*
Marissa: I say we all go get some french toast!
Chas: LET'S DO IT!!!!!
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Get excited for Episode 3 because you'll crap your pants XD