The Author Steps In - Episode 3 - Special Brownies
TITLE: The Author Steps In
AUTHOR: Your Momma, just kidding! It's me, silly.
SUMMARY: The author steps in and the fourth wall takes one for the team. Written in script form because I'm demented or something.
RATING: NOW RATED M!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!
You'll have to excuse all the laughing that made its way into the fic XD
EPISODE 3
The last episode wasn't as great as I wanted it to be, but I wanted a pet introduced and blah blah whatever. This one is MUCH FUNNIER I PROMISE!
Everyone: *is sleeping*
John: *something is touching his ass* Chasmmmsleepin... *rolls over*
Johnny: MRRRRROWWWWWWWW!!!!! *very loudly*
John: AH! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!
Chas: AH!!! WHAT!?!?!?!?!
John: GET OFF OF ME YOU GOD DAMNED CAT!!!! * picks up cat as if to throw him *
Chas: JOHN NO!! Get a hold of yourself. He just wanted to sleep with you. * takes cat*
John: You're lucky I let YOU sleep with me, let alone that thing!
Marissa: *storms in and throws a brick at John and exits *
John: *is unphased by the brick to the head * Bitch. *falls back asleep *
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Everyone: *is walking home after an exorcim *
Chas: Seriously John, you need to relax. You freak out way too easily.
John: You would be freaked out too if you woke up with a cat on your ass!
Chas: *Sees something shiny* Oooooooh! *picks it up*
Marissa: What are you doing?
Chas: Look what I found!
John: A pan of brownies?
Chas: Free brownies!!! This is awesome!
Marissa: Ooooh! Gimme one!!
John: Don't eat them, you just found them on the ground!
Chas: Don't argue with destiny John. I was meant to find these brownies and take them home to be smothered in whipped cream.
Marissa: Oooooooooooh yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaah... *drools*
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Everyone: is at home
John: You're actually eating those?
Chas: Yup *takes a bite* Try one!
John: Um... I'd rather not.
Marissa: *mouth full of brownie* They're good!
John: No.
Chas: Marissa! Make him eat one!
Marissa: writes in note
John: No! can't control his arm NO NO!!!! arm shoves brownie in his mouth Mmmm.... These are good.
SEVERAL MINUTES LATER
On TV: Spongebob Squarepants
Everyone: OMFGHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAXDXDXDHEEEEHAHAHAHA!!!!!! *laughing like maniacs*
Chas: Oh my god, hahaha! He's a sponge that talks!!!!!
Everyone: cracks up
John: I love spongebob so much, I love hahahaha! I love him! I love him! I love, I love I love you Chas. You're like... I love... HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Chas: I love you too John heeheeeeeheee, I wanna have sex with you, like, all the time HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA XDXDXD!!!
John: I like, love you so much man. I like, love you man! I love you!
Marissa: OH MY GOD!!!! I GOT IT!!!!
Chas: What?
Marissa: You know how they say don't put forks in the toaster?
John: Who says that?
Marissa: THEY!
Chas: Who's they?
Marissa: Uh.... I don't remember HAHAHAHAHA. WAIT WAIT! But, they tell you not to put forks in the toaster cause you get shocked and then you turn into a WERETOASTER!!!!!!!!
John & Chas: HAHAHAHAHAHAXDXDXDXDXDAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!
Marissa: Seriously! During the day, you're just a dude, but then on a full moon you turn into a GIANT TOASTER AND YOU BREAK INTO PEOPLE'S HOUSES AND TOAST THEIR POP-TARTS!!!!
Everyone: AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chas: Oh, pop-tarts? I want one! I'm hungry! We ate all the brownies! They were soooooooooooooooooooo good...
John: That's like, the smartest thing I've ever heard EVER! Like, FOREVER!!!! I love it! I love this cat! I love the cat! *pets Johnny* I totally love this cat, like, so much. I love him, he's the best cat, like.... ever!
Chas: You, John you, you know you're, something's different. You're like, relaxed. I like you relaxed, see I told you when we were waking back from the place, that place. Uh... the exor place exor, exor...
John: Damn! I've got an exorcism in like, what time is it?
Marissa: Uh, hahaha, uh... like, uh, 3!
John: I have to soon, go to the, the place! Uh... where is it?
Chas: I know! I'll get us there, we'll be there faster than a rabbit that fell off a...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA... than a rabbit that.... fast!
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Everyone: *after nearly avoiding several car accidents the Mary Jane crew make it to the exorcism*
John: HAHAAHAHAHAHAAA!!!! Oh my god!!! Look at it!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *refering to possesed child strapped to the bed*
Chas: He's like, turning into a were toaster!!!!!
Everyone: AAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAOMGWTFBBQ!!!!
Marissa: Dude, like, throw pop-tarts at him! Then he'll like, go away! HAHAHAHA!!!!
John: Oh my god! HAHAHAHA!!! *to worried mother of possessed child* Do you, like, have any pop-tarts?
Mother: What? Yes? What do you need pop-tarts?
John: We need it cause, uh, there's a weretoaster in there!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Mother: *weirded out* Ok... *brings pop-tarts*
John: Oh my god, this is like, the best thing ever! Thank you soooooo much! I, like, love you so much! *hugs mother*
Mother: 0_o
John: I got the pop-tarts!!!!
Marissa: Throw them at it!!!! It'll, like HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! Um, do, something!
Chas: Put a cross on it! It'll like, be uh.... kill it?
John: Yeah! That's like, the best idea ever! I love pop-tarts so much! HAHAHA!!!
Chas: Here, lemme see, *carves a cross on the back of the pop-tart* HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!! NOW IT'S UH, INDESTRUCTABLE!!!
John: Oh my god yes! *walks over to possessed child* This is the best thing EVER! And now HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, you, I love you and now you won't be a weretoaster. *shoves pop-tart in the kid's mouth*
Demon: *is actually somehow deported by the cross on the pop-tart*
Chas: Oh man! We did it! We saved the pop-tarts!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
Marissa: *mouth full of pop-tarts* Woooooooooooooo!!!! I love this!!!1
Mother: You saved him! Oh lord, thank you so much!
John: No, thank you! Because I love you! You're like, awesome, or something.
Mother: Thank you, you can leave now.
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Everyone: *got back to the apartment in one piece somehow*
Chas: John, you ate the brownies that I ate. So it's like, we have the same thing inside of us. We're like, connected ya know? Like, our souls.
John: I totally get it man. That is so deep. I fucking love you man! I fucking love you so much! I just, you I love you.
Chas: I love you too man! But, she, uh, Marissa, the note she made us love each other.
John: No! The note is like, stupid. I love YOU man, and it's cause you're awesome! You like, read and stuff all the time. That's like, awesome.
Marissa: *mouth full of oreos* I should make you guys, like, do something crazy HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!! Like, make you go outside and have sex like, on the cab!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
John & Chas: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Oh my god, do it!!!!
Marissa: Ok, um *Writes in note* “Um, John and Chas totally go and have, lol, sex on the cab!”
John & Chas: *Run outside*
John: *Pushes Chas up against the side of the cab and starts kissing his neck and sliding his hands up Chas' shirt.*
Chas: *moans and grinds against John*
Marissa: *watches out the window* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAAXD!!!!!
John: *Pulls off Chas' shirt and takes off his own.*
Random people driving by: *are beeping angrily*
Cop Car: *drives up*
Cop: Hey you two! Take it inside!
John & Chas: *don't notice and are both entirely nude.*
Marissa: *drowning in oreos* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHXDXDXD!!!! OH MAN! *writes in note*
Cop: I could have you arrested for indecent exposure! Get off of the street right- *turns into a bag of Doritos*
Marissa: *runs outside* AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! OH MY GAWD!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHXDXDXDOMGWTFBBQ!!!!! *eats police man Doritos*
Chas: John! *moans* Harder! HARDER!
Marissa: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAXDXDXD *falls on the ground* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAPFFFTHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHGAAHAHAH!!!!!
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Everyone: *wakes up nude in a river of Doritos, Fritos, Cheetos, Funions, Oreos and Chips Ahoy! Cookies.*
John: What the fuck?
Chas: What happened?
Marissa: *Reading Note* Oh man! I made you guys have sex outside on the cab! HAHA!!
John: Oh fuck, I think you're right. Where's my fucking pants?
Chas: My ass is so sore... I think there might be a Cheeto in it.
Marissa: Hahaha! What was in those brownies and where can we get more?
John: NO! Never again!
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To be Continued.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
AUTHOR: Your Momma, just kidding! It's me, silly.
SUMMARY: The author steps in and the fourth wall takes one for the team. Written in script form because I'm demented or something.
RATING: NOW RATED M!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!
You'll have to excuse all the laughing that made its way into the fic XD
EPISODE 3
The last episode wasn't as great as I wanted it to be, but I wanted a pet introduced and blah blah whatever. This one is MUCH FUNNIER I PROMISE!
Everyone: *is sleeping*
John: *something is touching his ass* Chasmmmsleepin... *rolls over*
Johnny: MRRRRROWWWWWWWW!!!!! *very loudly*
John: AH! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!
Chas: AH!!! WHAT!?!?!?!?!
John: GET OFF OF ME YOU GOD DAMNED CAT!!!! * picks up cat as if to throw him *
Chas: JOHN NO!! Get a hold of yourself. He just wanted to sleep with you. * takes cat*
John: You're lucky I let YOU sleep with me, let alone that thing!
Marissa: *storms in and throws a brick at John and exits *
John: *is unphased by the brick to the head * Bitch. *falls back asleep *
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Everyone: *is walking home after an exorcim *
Chas: Seriously John, you need to relax. You freak out way too easily.
John: You would be freaked out too if you woke up with a cat on your ass!
Chas: *Sees something shiny* Oooooooh! *picks it up*
Marissa: What are you doing?
Chas: Look what I found!
John: A pan of brownies?
Chas: Free brownies!!! This is awesome!
Marissa: Ooooh! Gimme one!!
John: Don't eat them, you just found them on the ground!
Chas: Don't argue with destiny John. I was meant to find these brownies and take them home to be smothered in whipped cream.
Marissa: Oooooooooooh yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaah... *drools*
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Everyone: is at home
John: You're actually eating those?
Chas: Yup *takes a bite* Try one!
John: Um... I'd rather not.
Marissa: *mouth full of brownie* They're good!
John: No.
Chas: Marissa! Make him eat one!
Marissa: writes in note
John: No! can't control his arm NO NO!!!! arm shoves brownie in his mouth Mmmm.... These are good.
SEVERAL MINUTES LATER
On TV: Spongebob Squarepants
Everyone: OMFGHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAXDXDXDHEEEEHAHAHAHA!!!!!! *laughing like maniacs*
Chas: Oh my god, hahaha! He's a sponge that talks!!!!!
Everyone: cracks up
John: I love spongebob so much, I love hahahaha! I love him! I love him! I love, I love I love you Chas. You're like... I love... HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Chas: I love you too John heeheeeeeheee, I wanna have sex with you, like, all the time HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA XDXDXD!!!
John: I like, love you so much man. I like, love you man! I love you!
Marissa: OH MY GOD!!!! I GOT IT!!!!
Chas: What?
Marissa: You know how they say don't put forks in the toaster?
John: Who says that?
Marissa: THEY!
Chas: Who's they?
Marissa: Uh.... I don't remember HAHAHAHAHA. WAIT WAIT! But, they tell you not to put forks in the toaster cause you get shocked and then you turn into a WERETOASTER!!!!!!!!
John & Chas: HAHAHAHAHAHAXDXDXDXDXDAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!
Marissa: Seriously! During the day, you're just a dude, but then on a full moon you turn into a GIANT TOASTER AND YOU BREAK INTO PEOPLE'S HOUSES AND TOAST THEIR POP-TARTS!!!!
Everyone: AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chas: Oh, pop-tarts? I want one! I'm hungry! We ate all the brownies! They were soooooooooooooooooooo good...
John: That's like, the smartest thing I've ever heard EVER! Like, FOREVER!!!! I love it! I love this cat! I love the cat! *pets Johnny* I totally love this cat, like, so much. I love him, he's the best cat, like.... ever!
Chas: You, John you, you know you're, something's different. You're like, relaxed. I like you relaxed, see I told you when we were waking back from the place, that place. Uh... the exor place exor, exor...
John: Damn! I've got an exorcism in like, what time is it?
Marissa: Uh, hahaha, uh... like, uh, 3!
John: I have to soon, go to the, the place! Uh... where is it?
Chas: I know! I'll get us there, we'll be there faster than a rabbit that fell off a...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA... than a rabbit that.... fast!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Everyone: *after nearly avoiding several car accidents the Mary Jane crew make it to the exorcism*
John: HAHAAHAHAHAHAAA!!!! Oh my god!!! Look at it!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *refering to possesed child strapped to the bed*
Chas: He's like, turning into a were toaster!!!!!
Everyone: AAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAOMGWTFBBQ!!!!
Marissa: Dude, like, throw pop-tarts at him! Then he'll like, go away! HAHAHAHA!!!!
John: Oh my god! HAHAHAHA!!! *to worried mother of possessed child* Do you, like, have any pop-tarts?
Mother: What? Yes? What do you need pop-tarts?
John: We need it cause, uh, there's a weretoaster in there!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Mother: *weirded out* Ok... *brings pop-tarts*
John: Oh my god, this is like, the best thing ever! Thank you soooooo much! I, like, love you so much! *hugs mother*
Mother: 0_o
John: I got the pop-tarts!!!!
Marissa: Throw them at it!!!! It'll, like HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! Um, do, something!
Chas: Put a cross on it! It'll like, be uh.... kill it?
John: Yeah! That's like, the best idea ever! I love pop-tarts so much! HAHAHA!!!
Chas: Here, lemme see, *carves a cross on the back of the pop-tart* HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!! NOW IT'S UH, INDESTRUCTABLE!!!
John: Oh my god yes! *walks over to possessed child* This is the best thing EVER! And now HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, you, I love you and now you won't be a weretoaster. *shoves pop-tart in the kid's mouth*
Demon: *is actually somehow deported by the cross on the pop-tart*
Chas: Oh man! We did it! We saved the pop-tarts!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
Marissa: *mouth full of pop-tarts* Woooooooooooooo!!!! I love this!!!1
Mother: You saved him! Oh lord, thank you so much!
John: No, thank you! Because I love you! You're like, awesome, or something.
Mother: Thank you, you can leave now.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Everyone: *got back to the apartment in one piece somehow*
Chas: John, you ate the brownies that I ate. So it's like, we have the same thing inside of us. We're like, connected ya know? Like, our souls.
John: I totally get it man. That is so deep. I fucking love you man! I fucking love you so much! I just, you I love you.
Chas: I love you too man! But, she, uh, Marissa, the note she made us love each other.
John: No! The note is like, stupid. I love YOU man, and it's cause you're awesome! You like, read and stuff all the time. That's like, awesome.
Marissa: *mouth full of oreos* I should make you guys, like, do something crazy HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!! Like, make you go outside and have sex like, on the cab!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
John & Chas: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Oh my god, do it!!!!
Marissa: Ok, um *Writes in note* “Um, John and Chas totally go and have, lol, sex on the cab!”
John & Chas: *Run outside*
John: *Pushes Chas up against the side of the cab and starts kissing his neck and sliding his hands up Chas' shirt.*
Chas: *moans and grinds against John*
Marissa: *watches out the window* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAAXD!!!!!
John: *Pulls off Chas' shirt and takes off his own.*
Random people driving by: *are beeping angrily*
Cop Car: *drives up*
Cop: Hey you two! Take it inside!
John & Chas: *don't notice and are both entirely nude.*
Marissa: *drowning in oreos* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHXDXDXD!!!! OH MAN! *writes in note*
Cop: I could have you arrested for indecent exposure! Get off of the street right- *turns into a bag of Doritos*
Marissa: *runs outside* AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! OH MY GAWD!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHXDXDXDOMGWTFBBQ!!!!! *eats police man Doritos*
Chas: John! *moans* Harder! HARDER!
Marissa: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAXDXDXD *falls on the ground* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAPFFFTHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHGAAHAHAH!!!!!
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Everyone: *wakes up nude in a river of Doritos, Fritos, Cheetos, Funions, Oreos and Chips Ahoy! Cookies.*
John: What the fuck?
Chas: What happened?
Marissa: *Reading Note* Oh man! I made you guys have sex outside on the cab! HAHA!!
John: Oh fuck, I think you're right. Where's my fucking pants?
Chas: My ass is so sore... I think there might be a Cheeto in it.
Marissa: Hahaha! What was in those brownies and where can we get more?
John: NO! Never again!
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To be Continued.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!