Ranting...
This isn't probably very interesting to many of you, but i just need to let it out.
I can't sleep, many thoughts in my head right now. The dominant one though, is me thinking how I am very thankful to have the family and friends I have. I thought about how my mom has been there for me throughout the years and I started crying, tears of joy. She is the best mom I could have asked for. If it wasn't for her, I'm sure I wouldn't be as strong as I am now. My dad, sure, he might be an asshole 95% of the time, but he's a husband that delivers. He puts a big roof in our heads that I'm sure is better than what most mexicans can get. He is strict about school, but doing good in school makes me feel good about myself, so in a way, he has also helped in the "making me a better person" process. And Carlos. I remember when I was born and my parents came back from the hospital. My mom placed me on my evil grandma's bed and he kept prancing around saying "MY SISTER! MY SISTER!" I called him brother and he called me sister, just like i called Alicia mom and Carlos dad. We grew up close. Looking at the baby pics of how he danced with me and fed me jell-o to make me fatter makes me feel really happy.
My aunts, cousins, granparents and uncles also had an impact on me. I was a tomboy and I wanted to play rough, and my uncles and cousins would play with me a lot and I felt accepted since at the time I was the only girl around. I've always loved to cook, my aunts and granma would let me help them out in the kitchen where I would steal tomatoes and eat them whole, or dip my fingers into the cake batter. My aunt would always let me lick the spoons for helping out(sitting in the kitchen counter stealing food) even though my cousins wanted to do it, but never got to because they didn't do anything haha. We made a radio show once. I was reminded while watching 'Family Guy' and Stewie accidentally plays his radio show to Lois and says all kids do it, it made me laugh so much. There is a part where our grandma calls us for lunch and we answer back and then we stop the show for a break. My cousin's voice is in that tape. He's dead now, it doesn't make me sad, but it's still something that makes me think of the past and cherish it. I didn't interact with my younger cousins a lot, since they live far from this city and the other ones were born close to or durin our trip to Raleigh.
I was sad to leave my family, but soon I met friends and they taught me that home can be anywhere. That family is not only biological, but also you can have a family that is connected through a common thing. The first part of my family over there was the mexican people we met, we started to apreciate them as much as the bio fam and they did the same. We were tied together by our common background. We were all from mexico, new to the US and together we learned English, learned american customs, and most important, we started to forget that we missed Mexico and let the US become our home. The second part came around 7th grade for me, when I met Christine and I turned 13. I became a teenager and friends became more important to me. We became close friends, we both were little geeks with the love of art and anime. And still are. And as the years went by I started making other friends, but the other 2 that are most important are Faye and Jaime. We all went through the heaven and hell that puberty can be together. I had other friends, but they came and went, didn't last too long. But when we 4 got together, it created some of the best memories I could use my brain space for. Specially the sleepovers. Pinnaples in the microwave and shoes in the fridge, burnt cookies, messy kitchens, monopoly at the wee hrs of the morning, cat hunting, air hocky tourneys, pillow fights, DDR with pads that made me mad, mario and duck hunt with the NES, swimming, no sleeping, movies, talking, eating, drinking, those were the days...
And now I'm back to the family. It's hard to have two families that I love so much and they are so far away from each other. Distance is not fun. But neither is sitting there and wishing it all went away. I have to deal with this the best way, being positive. Just as I came back here to my biological family, I'll go back to my other family. Both are so important to me and I hope I don't let the relationship die. I still have about 70 years left, I'm sure odds are that I'll see some of you again during that time.
I can't sleep, many thoughts in my head right now. The dominant one though, is me thinking how I am very thankful to have the family and friends I have. I thought about how my mom has been there for me throughout the years and I started crying, tears of joy. She is the best mom I could have asked for. If it wasn't for her, I'm sure I wouldn't be as strong as I am now. My dad, sure, he might be an asshole 95% of the time, but he's a husband that delivers. He puts a big roof in our heads that I'm sure is better than what most mexicans can get. He is strict about school, but doing good in school makes me feel good about myself, so in a way, he has also helped in the "making me a better person" process. And Carlos. I remember when I was born and my parents came back from the hospital. My mom placed me on my evil grandma's bed and he kept prancing around saying "MY SISTER! MY SISTER!" I called him brother and he called me sister, just like i called Alicia mom and Carlos dad. We grew up close. Looking at the baby pics of how he danced with me and fed me jell-o to make me fatter makes me feel really happy.
My aunts, cousins, granparents and uncles also had an impact on me. I was a tomboy and I wanted to play rough, and my uncles and cousins would play with me a lot and I felt accepted since at the time I was the only girl around. I've always loved to cook, my aunts and granma would let me help them out in the kitchen where I would steal tomatoes and eat them whole, or dip my fingers into the cake batter. My aunt would always let me lick the spoons for helping out(sitting in the kitchen counter stealing food) even though my cousins wanted to do it, but never got to because they didn't do anything haha. We made a radio show once. I was reminded while watching 'Family Guy' and Stewie accidentally plays his radio show to Lois and says all kids do it, it made me laugh so much. There is a part where our grandma calls us for lunch and we answer back and then we stop the show for a break. My cousin's voice is in that tape. He's dead now, it doesn't make me sad, but it's still something that makes me think of the past and cherish it. I didn't interact with my younger cousins a lot, since they live far from this city and the other ones were born close to or durin our trip to Raleigh.
I was sad to leave my family, but soon I met friends and they taught me that home can be anywhere. That family is not only biological, but also you can have a family that is connected through a common thing. The first part of my family over there was the mexican people we met, we started to apreciate them as much as the bio fam and they did the same. We were tied together by our common background. We were all from mexico, new to the US and together we learned English, learned american customs, and most important, we started to forget that we missed Mexico and let the US become our home. The second part came around 7th grade for me, when I met Christine and I turned 13. I became a teenager and friends became more important to me. We became close friends, we both were little geeks with the love of art and anime. And still are. And as the years went by I started making other friends, but the other 2 that are most important are Faye and Jaime. We all went through the heaven and hell that puberty can be together. I had other friends, but they came and went, didn't last too long. But when we 4 got together, it created some of the best memories I could use my brain space for. Specially the sleepovers. Pinnaples in the microwave and shoes in the fridge, burnt cookies, messy kitchens, monopoly at the wee hrs of the morning, cat hunting, air hocky tourneys, pillow fights, DDR with pads that made me mad, mario and duck hunt with the NES, swimming, no sleeping, movies, talking, eating, drinking, those were the days...
And now I'm back to the family. It's hard to have two families that I love so much and they are so far away from each other. Distance is not fun. But neither is sitting there and wishing it all went away. I have to deal with this the best way, being positive. Just as I came back here to my biological family, I'll go back to my other family. Both are so important to me and I hope I don't let the relationship die. I still have about 70 years left, I'm sure odds are that I'll see some of you again during that time.