Sitting at Amanda's Friday I realized something else when David was over there......He was so relaxed and at ease. All the tension and rushing he displays when he is at home was gone.... I sat there for the longest time and thought about it.........I dont know whats happening to me. This has been the most peaceful week ive had in like forever ( Read more... )

The lightbulb over my head came on today and I didnt like what I realized.............I still really dont believe it......

Some types of people are attracted to people who are emotionally abusive. They complain, blame, and try to control. Yet they continue to allow others to hurt them. In reality, they are more comfortable complaining and feeling resentful than acknowledging how very hurt and angry they are. They push their thoughts and feelings out of awareness by ( Read more... )

"Straitjacket ( Read more... )

How do you know when you're done...??????????? When something shocks you so bad and all the anger you have suppressed raises up inside of you and you want to stab something and exact revenge on all the pain you have suffered at someones hands. Remember that when you love someone, you dont treat them or THE PEOPLE THEY LOVE with utter disregard ( Read more... )

so.......The 4th of July sucked out loud
The 5th was a little better
the 6th was just okay.....................

Bryan stayed the night for the first time. He did really well, but I was up every hour turning the light on to make sure he was covered up and okay. Im worn out now. Im not 25 anymore........sigh..........

( Read more... )

I spoke to Janine today........ Jessica's mom. She was ice cold towards me. Well I guess I dont blame her. She has to blame someone. I think I really made her mad when I said that David has been off meth since Jessica went to prison.......I softened her up towards the end of the conversation. I think she was sniffing from crying......God Im ( Read more... )

We finally got back from Florida....It was nice to be with my sisters there. Although I started the vacation still reeling from depression, the mood lightened alot after a couple of days. Im feeling alot better now. The ride home wasnt even that bad, but i got car sick I guess from Paul going 80. Too much motion for my head. Amanda took good ( Read more... )

The Images of A Mom ( Read more... )

I did my usual yard saling. I ate lunch made brownies....Ate half of them....Slept for an hour and a half......Im now in a coma from too much sugar....BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

yep its dullsville today..................