(no subject)
ONE DAY, MY GOOD FRIEND notsolaconic SUGGESTED THAT WE WRITE JOHN CLEESE/NICK JONAS FELCHING AND POST IT ALL OVER THE INTERNET. NEVER ONE TO TURN DOWN A GOOD IDEA, I COMPLIED IMMEDIATELY.
notsolaconic: john cleese leaned across nick jonas's lithe form and whispered hotly in his ear, damp breath, acrid with the scent of denture glue, raising the hairs on nick's neck. "want to roleplay?
jacqueslecube: "no," nick gasped sexily
notsolaconic: and whimpered, embarrassed at the noises he seemed to be making without conscious thought. "john," he said, urgently, "john. fill me with your milky seed?"
jacqueslecube: "NO" said cleese
jacqueslecube: angrily
jacqueslecube: as he hit his hand firmly against nick's soft, young arse... the slap radiating amoungst the dignified lines on the loose skin of his hand and teasing at his glistening rod of love
notsolaconic: nick squealed, voice cracking on a moan, and said, "please? pretty please, with a cherry on top?"
jacqueslecube: cleese, who was very partial to cherries, especially the green maraschino type and especially with lots of whipped cream and chocolate sauce, relented, "prepare yourself for my hot jet of life," he murmured authoritatively
jacqueslecube: "but wait!" said cleese, putting the onslaught on hold with his sheer british will, "is it a green one?"
jacqueslecube: "hurry up, boy, my manmeat grows impatient"
notsolaconic: "well," said nick, stammering in sheer, unadulterated lust, "it depends. if it's green, will you eat it out of my tight virgin asshole?"
jacqueslecube: "yes, oh, yes!" cried cleese, as he spilled his sap all over nick's soft, angelic face and meticulously plucked eyebrows.
notsolaconic: "wow," thought nick, "that's a surprising lack of stamina from one so wise and ancient."
jacqueslecube: "aha! I am so wise and ancient that I can read your inner thoughts from merely the angle of your left elbow!" said cleese "you do me grave injury, but you are naive, so it is to be forgiven!" he said as his strong man-tree once again took root and rose skyward, diving for nick's pink, puckered, recently defiled asshole
jacqueslecube: nick whimpered softly as cleese sweetly sucked the spicy musk from his warm, tight channel, just as one sucks the succulent marrow from goat thighbones at high-class middle-eastern restaurants
notsolaconic: sobbing with joy as john licked over his delicate ass flower
notsolaconic: "mmmmm," said cleese, muffled in the soft white pillows of nick's wide-spread cheeks, "you taste like... joe."
jacqueslecube: nick couldn't believe that this was the famous john cleese, all the way from england, fucking him skillfully with his massive, geriatric tongue, swollen with age and filling him up like joe's cock
notsolaconic: he came with a loud keen, shouting "oh, yes, yes! YES, KEVIN, YES!" into the dark night.
notsolaconic: then cleese punched him in the face. the end.
FLIST: IDEAS ON WHERE TO POST THIS FOR MAXIMUM HORROR?
notsolaconic: john cleese leaned across nick jonas's lithe form and whispered hotly in his ear, damp breath, acrid with the scent of denture glue, raising the hairs on nick's neck. "want to roleplay?
jacqueslecube: "no," nick gasped sexily
notsolaconic: and whimpered, embarrassed at the noises he seemed to be making without conscious thought. "john," he said, urgently, "john. fill me with your milky seed?"
jacqueslecube: "NO" said cleese
jacqueslecube: angrily
jacqueslecube: as he hit his hand firmly against nick's soft, young arse... the slap radiating amoungst the dignified lines on the loose skin of his hand and teasing at his glistening rod of love
notsolaconic: nick squealed, voice cracking on a moan, and said, "please? pretty please, with a cherry on top?"
jacqueslecube: cleese, who was very partial to cherries, especially the green maraschino type and especially with lots of whipped cream and chocolate sauce, relented, "prepare yourself for my hot jet of life," he murmured authoritatively
jacqueslecube: "but wait!" said cleese, putting the onslaught on hold with his sheer british will, "is it a green one?"
jacqueslecube: "hurry up, boy, my manmeat grows impatient"
notsolaconic: "well," said nick, stammering in sheer, unadulterated lust, "it depends. if it's green, will you eat it out of my tight virgin asshole?"
jacqueslecube: "yes, oh, yes!" cried cleese, as he spilled his sap all over nick's soft, angelic face and meticulously plucked eyebrows.
notsolaconic: "wow," thought nick, "that's a surprising lack of stamina from one so wise and ancient."
jacqueslecube: "aha! I am so wise and ancient that I can read your inner thoughts from merely the angle of your left elbow!" said cleese "you do me grave injury, but you are naive, so it is to be forgiven!" he said as his strong man-tree once again took root and rose skyward, diving for nick's pink, puckered, recently defiled asshole
jacqueslecube: nick whimpered softly as cleese sweetly sucked the spicy musk from his warm, tight channel, just as one sucks the succulent marrow from goat thighbones at high-class middle-eastern restaurants
notsolaconic: sobbing with joy as john licked over his delicate ass flower
notsolaconic: "mmmmm," said cleese, muffled in the soft white pillows of nick's wide-spread cheeks, "you taste like... joe."
jacqueslecube: nick couldn't believe that this was the famous john cleese, all the way from england, fucking him skillfully with his massive, geriatric tongue, swollen with age and filling him up like joe's cock
notsolaconic: he came with a loud keen, shouting "oh, yes, yes! YES, KEVIN, YES!" into the dark night.
notsolaconic: then cleese punched him in the face. the end.
FLIST: IDEAS ON WHERE TO POST THIS FOR MAXIMUM HORROR?