ook this super awesome kid, eric, helped me out a bit so this is the newest version of that...thing...but yeah i still want some suggestions..annddd dont worry its still short
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ok so it still needs some revising Pulling my bag over across my lap, I watch the rain pound at the windows should be i pull my bag across my lap as i watch........etc
hmm... it seems like he would be doing something wrong.. liike i dont know but because you the whole putting the hood on, fumbling with the money, pulling his bag closer to him & wondering what the people are thinking.. he seems paranoid you know?? i dont have any ideas or suggestions but i think that whatever he ends up doing it should be something that could possibly get HIM into trouble. Maybe..?
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Pulling my bag over across my lap, I watch the rain pound at the windows
should be i pull my bag across my lap as i watch........etc
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I hope that helps a little... good luck ♥
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