The Real LJ Idol - Mini-Season - Week 15

[cheapxdate]

The Real LJ Idol - Mini-Season - Week 15
This is my entry for Week 15 of LJ Idol (

Comments

[halfshellvenus]

This is very well-written, and while it's painful to read... it is far more painful to live it.

If just one person reading this better understands what it's like to go through this, or is better able to recognize the signs of a relationship heading in this direction, the capturing of such a frightening, dangerous experience will have made someone's life a little easier down the road.

[cheapxdate]

Thank you for this comment. I think it's important to write and read uncomfortable pieces like this because they do spread awareness and understanding. The signs of (present or possible) abuse are not always as obvious as one may think.

[adoptedwriter]

Oh wow! So powerful! I like the 2 nd person POV mixed w 1st Person. Well-done!

AW

[cheapxdate]

Thank you so much for reading. :)

[murielle]

I don't know if you're writing from experience--I so hope not!--or if this is the work of a brilliant imagination and profound empathy. You don't ever have to say, if you don't want to, but this is one of the most real, honest, heartbreakingly, well written accounts of domestic abuse I have ever read. Brava!.

[cheapxdate]

I am (thankfully) not writing directly from experience, but I did watch someone very close to me go through this and I drove the getaway car the night she finally left. I can't begin to imagine her feelings and emotions, but we've talked a lot about it since then and I admire her courage and strength so very much. I know that from the outside, I felt so powerless, especially because the man in question was able to charm even me for so long, despite all the signs that I was seeing. I have so many young cousins who are starting to enter their first forays into serious relationships and I've tried my very best to educate them about abuse and let them know that I am available, any time of the day or night, if they need me.

Thank you for this meaningful comment :)

[murielle]

Warning, educating young women is so important. There was a study done not that long ago that showed high school girls, and younger are now among the statistics for abuse from their boyfriends. It's horrifying.

You are doing the right thing--thank you.

[rayaso]

This was outstanding, and I hope it was not from personal experience. It was painful to read, and I'm glad in the end she not only moved out but defended herself with the knife, slicing her tormentor.

[cheapxdate]

Thank you for reading. Someone very close to me was in an abusive relationship and so while I thankfully have not experienced it first hand, it's a topic that is close to my heart. I can't begin to fathom how she felt, but I hope that I did her experience justice. If even just one person reads this and understands domestic abuse a little bit better, finds solace in it, or can better recognize the warning signs then I will be absolutely thrilled.

[sinnamongirl]

This was hard to read, yes, but very well-written and I think gives some insight into the dynamics of abuse. I mentioned (perhaps here?) in a comment on a previous Idol entry about abuse, that one of the hardest things to explain is how so often abusers aren't just 100% 24/7 being abusive. The care, concern, thoughtfulness a person can show makes the whole situation very confusing to the abused.... I really related to the first part, the sheer trepidation verging on terror of walking into a house, knowing something bad is going to happen.

So, again, hard to read but worth it :) I think you handled a sensitive topic very well.

[cheapxdate]

one of the hardest things to explain is how so often abusers aren't just 100% 24/7 being abusive

This is so true and something I think that is so difficult to explain. It seems so logical to think that if someone is hurting you, you want to get away as fast as possible, but it's so much more complicated than that. Physical abusers can be so charming - not only to the one their abusing, but also to their friends and family, which can make it that much harder to get or want help.

Thank you so much for your kind comment. I appreciate it very much :)

[sinnamongirl]

I appreciated your entry very much! Somehow I think if people can understand that "charming" bit, abuse in general may be handled better by all involved. It's so complex, of course, but you mentioned how abusers can be charming, and it's true - consider especially the "charming to others," so that when the abused tries to say something, those around them will have to deal with the confusion themselves, of thinking, "but this person is so nice and sweet and thoughtful, how can this be happening?" It spreads things out and makes the abuse even easier to get away with.